Automotive Incontinence

[BoTox]

I was working on a car today and I noticed it was leaking engine oil. My car is incontinent!

I thought it was funny but they don't make diapers for cars. (really, they do but they are for keeping parts from flying into you or a spectator in racing when things go boom!)

[Guest YkDave]

i wonder what a shop would think if you took it in for an oil change and their was a diaper taped to the bottom of the oil pan!

My trucks got a small oil drip too, but its earned it, the ol cummins has nearly a half million on the clock and if i was that used and abused i would have a leak too!

[PArms]

I guess if it really were incontinent, then it would be leaking from the exhaust. I would say that an oil leak is more like bleeding. A fuel leak is more like an ulcer of the upper digestive tract. A vacuum leak would be like a tracheotomy.

[ajc2000]

I opened this link hoping to read that every time you drive or get in a car you poo your self.

I suffer this when mommy drives but found the cure is not to look at the road if i can help it when she is driving. lol

Oh well if it's your rear main seal there a sod to do. Gear box off clutch off and flywheel just to get to the thing. lol. enjoy.

[BriGuy]

Holy tripple post batman!

My boat used to be incontinent... Not no more!

[Knuxie Fawks]

My car blew a braking cylinder, and now it leaks braking fluid...it won't keep it in...there's no brake pressure...but I have no choice but to drive it as I have to get to work everyday. But, my car pees like a dog.

[Repaid1]

My car blew a braking cylinder, and now it leaks braking fluid...it won't keep it in...there's no brake pressure...but I have no choice but to drive it as I have to get to work everyday. But, my car pees like a dog.

This is actually very serious...You are introducing air into the whole system now. I am assuming you just can't afford the repair right now. But I have to warn you that if left unattended for much longer you are seriously jeopardizing yourself and others by driving it. One day you might just push that pedal and it will go to the floor with nothing coming from any brake. Trust me that's not a fun feeling as a guided missile cruising into a intersection.

So what do you do? Here's a quick "hillbilly" fix. Go to the wheel cylinder that's leaking and cut the break line near the connection. There might be a rubber connection near the Cylinder..if not you'll have to cut the metal line. One you have the line free at the wheel end, if it's rubber you need to find a screw that barely fits into the end and thread it into the hose as far as it will go..longer the better. If you have the metal end you need to get a short (2") section of rubber hose that will barely fit over the line. Do the same thing, thread a screw into one end. Go to the parts store if you don't have any and get a pack of two small hose clamps along with another bottle of brake fluid. Clamp the end with screw, as in clamp around the rubber hose right where the screw enters. If you added a section of hose..clamp both ends.

Go to your master cylinder, where you add fluid and pop the top. If it's low add some. Then go into your car, start it and start pumping the brakes over and over to try and burb some air out of the system. If all goes well and it's not to far gone the brakes should start firming up. This should restore at least partial brake pressure to the other three wheels and get you down the road safely, well as safe as three brakes are. Remember if it's a front brake, they account for 2/3's of your normal braking so your car will be substantially at a braking disadvantage. If your lucky enough to have it be in the rear...heck I wouldn't even fix it beyond that. Total cost for the Quick repair maybe $5. And the peace of mind knowing you can stop now, and you can stop buying fluid, and spraying the road with it endangering those behind you, let alone those in front.

One last thing, if it is the front, your going to notice the brake bias is off and a tendency for the car to pull one way or the other... Best of luck and get it fixed!

Okay now back to the regular thread..........

[Bettypooh]

"This is actually very serious..."

Ditto! But your 'cheapie fix' may not be much safer repaid I visited a friend on a clear summer day many years back and we hopped in his 1963 Impala to get some brewskis from the local store We were going about 20 when he began to gently slow for a stop sign. As fast as you can blink the darn car was sideways sliding through the intersection. He didn't seem too concerned as I asked what was up. It turns out that he had crimped the RF brake line shut when that cylinder blew, and the RR when it blew about a week later And that was two weeks before! I asked him to pull over which he did once he got the car straight again. I hopped out and told him I'd be waiting back at his house if, not when, he got back with the beer

I've lost brakes twice. Once as I was beginning to back into my driveway(no sweat)and once when my drum brakes overheated and faded as I was winning a 'race' between myself and some guy with this blue blinky thing on top of his car Going 120 through a red light will leave a very big pinch mark in the bottom of your car seat! My conclusion: If it doesn't stop or steer as it's supposed to, park it immediately and survive the decision

Steering back on to the topic, I've never had a car that didn't leak a little of something, but since I'm old enough to remember the BSA and Triumph motorcycles of the 60's which all leaked like a sieve, I don't think much of it. I think they built incontinence into those bikes on purpose

Bettypooh

[Nat]

This is a very funny topic. I once crashed my car into a well and bent my radiator and all the fluid came out. When I had a new radiator put in, the pipe needed to be replaced and it leaked some fluid. Now my crank seal is leaking but no oil on the ground yet so I keep my eye on it to make sure it's full. But there is a hole in my container that holds the window washer fluid and I had it filled up and the next day, it was empty again.

[Alice-chan]

O_o;...........Random thread. Good for a laugh I guess. My car really doesn't leak, at least I haven't caught it leaking. It would be interesting to see a car with a diaper on the tailpipe or somewhere at an intersection. I'd get a good chukle out of it.

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

[Nat]

There ought to be diapers for cars in case of leaks.

[willnotwill]

Actually, they do make diapers for cars (well at least dragsters). Not for leaks but to contain the parts and oil in case the engine blows up I suppose sort of explosive diarrhea).

[ylowrvr]

Some of the Porsche 911s from the late '90s had padding around the engine the some mechanics referred to as a diaper.

My car isn't incontinent, in marks it's territory.

[Guest refridginator]

Going 120 through a red light will leave a very big pinch mark in the bottom of your car seat!

That was the funniest thing I've read all day!