Sissy Room

As we said in the 'canoe club'... Black and bitter.

on my quest to be diaper dependant, I´ve found I can pee my diaper but find it hard to mess in it. anyone else having trouble pooping your diapers, and if yes how did you get better if you did?

I usually take my coffee straight, strong, & black. But once in a while I'll make myself a cappuccino about 2/3 espresso & 1/3 half & half. I found one of these on Ebay  

4   I was nearly finished when Gabby stormed into the bedroom to grab her pajamas. I pretended not to notice her, even though I could feel her glaring at me the whole time, and it was hard not to smile at her half-pint fury. She stomped back out, slamming the door behind her, which elicited a yell from Mama, "Someone's lookin' to get her little bottom tanned before bed!" The bathroom door closed much quieter, and as the water began to run I whispered, "You have no idea, you little twerp. No idea at all." I took a long look over my script. It was good. Damned good. And it was just about tailored perfectly to my bratty little sister and all the things she likes and hates. I grabbed a flashlight from my bedstand and slipped it and the notebook under my blanket and straightened up my bed, then strutted confidently out into the living room, where Ma was sipping a bottle of Bud on the couch, watching TV. "I swear, that girl ain't gonna live to see her sweet sixteen at this rate," she huffed. "What in the world is wrong with her?!" "Aw, Mama, I'm sure I was the same way at her age. It's the tweenie thing, that's all." "No, BJ, you weren't nearly like this. Of course, I reckon you were prob'ly too busy helpin' me out with her at the time. Is that the trouble here? Did I spoil her?" "Don't worry about it, Mama," I said, putting an arm around her. "She'll grow out of it soon enough." "I hope so, 'cause I'm about ready to stunt her growth permanently. Every single day, I swear!" She finished off her bottle, stood up, and asked, "You want one?" "Sure, thanks Mama." I didn't really care for the taste of beer, but it felt good to just sit on the couch and drink with Mama. Like a reminder that I really was a grown-up now. She returned from the kitchen and handed me one. "How's the project goin'?" she asked as she sat back down. "Great, actually. I got a lot done tonight. I prob'ly won't need to spend but an hour or two at the library tomorrow." "Wow, you work fast!" Ma said with a chuckle. "Oh, there's a lot more work to do, but with all the research I got done today and gettin' it all organized tonight, I realized there ain't but a few holes left to fill before I can just start puttin' it all together." "Well good. Truth be told, I'd almost rather see you keep her there long enough to get some good study time in. From the notes I've been gettin' from school, she needs it!" "I'm sure I can drag it out some if you want, Ma. I figured I could get plenty of work done here at the house while she's outside raisin' Cain." "Well, it's your call BJ, you know I won't be home 'til supper again." "I wish you didn't have to put so much overtime in, Mama. You need a break!" "We all should be grateful for the extra money. And I've got a lot of vacation time built up, so maybe once this latest rush calms down a bit, I might could take a break. Even my boss is gettin' fussy about me not takin' time off." The water stopped in the bathroom, and shortly afterward Gabby surfaced. As soon as she saw me she scowled and went straight over to Mama. "Night, Mama," she said, putting her head in Ma's lap. Ma pulled her up and gave her a squeeze. "Good night, sweet pea. Maybe tomorrow you can behave yourself a little better for Sissy and not have to go to bed so early, huh?" "Yes Mama," Gabby grumbled, slipping off Mama's lap and trudging back down the hall. "Night, squirt," I said, taking a sip off my beer. Not surprisingly, I got no response. Mama and I just rolled our eyes at each other and chuckled before re-focusing on the TV. It wasn't much later when Ma finished off her beer and said, "Well, six o'clock's comin' pretty quick. Have a good night, sweetie. I'll try not to wake y'all on my way out." "I know you will, Mama. Good night." She disappeared down the hall as well. I flipped channels for a while, waiting patiently. I wanted to make sure Gabby was dead to the world before I went to work; the studies had both said induction was much easier in full REM, as subjects were much more suggestible in that sleep phase. Something about Delta waves and such; I didn't remember all of it, just the important parts, the parts that mattered about how best to put my little plan in motion. It was a bit after 11 when I turned off the TV and went to check on Gabby. Her breathing was very even, very deep. I stood over top of her, as her back was to the room, and through the dim glow of the night light next to her bed, I could see the one thing I was looking for; twitching under her eyelids. My timing was perfect! I flipped my cover back and grabbed my notebook and flashlight, then sat down cross-legged next to her bed. I took a deep breath and began to whisper slowly and evenly: "Gabriella, can you hear me?" No response. Was she too deeply asleep? "Gabriella?" "Mmmm..." It was enough. Any noise was an acknowledgement, and the less articulate it was, the better chance the sleep pattern hadn't been disturbed. "Yes, you are very relaxed right now. Very relaxed. But right now we're going to help you become even more relaxed, more relaxed than you've ever felt in your life." I realized I was supposed to be pausing as often as possible. I took another quiet breath and continued. "Focus on your breathing, Gabriella, as the air moves in," I listened for her inhale, "and out. That's it, in... and out. Imagine you are breathing in happy... and breathing out sad. "All the good feelings you breathe in fill your body with a warm sensation, and replace all the bad feelings, which rush out your nose and off into the night. You're so happy, and warm, and content. "Now I want you to imagine you are lying in the middle of a huge field of grass. The sun is high overhead, with only little wisps of clouds floating lazily by. The warm sun feels good on your face, and the grass underneath is like a soft cushion. "It's so warm and comfortable here. This is a safe place, where nothing bad can ever happen to you." Gabriella rolled over onto her back, a sleepy smile on her face. It was working! I continued, even slower this time. "You look down at your hand, and a butterfly lands on your thumb, then floats away on the breeze. But your thumb – it's glowing now, with a special glow. "The butterfly has given your thumb a magical power. Your thumb is now a special, magic key. When you put it into your mouth and suck on it, it will transport you to this wonderful place, so you can feel this happy and content any time you like. Try it now." I waited and watched, and slowly her thumb made its way into her mouth, and she began to suckle just like she did when she was tiny, still smiling, maybe even bigger now. A contended-sounding sigh escaped her nose. It was such an adorable moment, it was hard not to giggle. I managed to compose myself and continued, "That's it. Feels good, doesn't it? Laying in the warm sun, in the soft grass, your magic key filling you up with its warm glow. "Whenever you feel sad, or angry, or any other bad feelings, you can use your magic key to take you to your secret, safe place, where nothing can harm you. And you'll want to. You'll want to come here to this secret place. You'll want to stay here all the time. You're going to find it very, very hard not to use your magic key any time bad feelings come. "But this is a special place, one you should only come when you're with Mama or Sissy, because only Mama and Sissy will understand your magic key and the special place it takes you. Then you can spend as much time as you wish in your secret place, and you can use your magic key whenever you like. "And you'll want to use it every chance you get. Because nothing will ever make you happier than when you use your special, magic key to take you to this beautiful place." Now came the close. I wrestled when I was writing it whether to bring her back myself and risk waking her up or just let her be. I decided for the latter, figuring she'd wake up in a much better mood. "Now, you just go ahead and relax for as long as you like, Gabriella. Enjoy your secret place. "And when you're ready, you can just pop that key right out of your mouth and be right back in the real world, and you'll feel relaxed, and refreshed, and happy. "Sleep well, Gabriella. Enjoy your beautiful dream." Another contented sigh, but her thumb remained locked in place. I wondered if she'd take it out before she woke in the morning. Either way, I was dog tired. I looked at the clock; it was after two in the morning! I couldn't believe it'd taken this much time. But, as near as I could tell, it had been worth the effort. The first time that thumb found her mouth in front of Mama would be absolutely priceless! I quietly crawled into bed and dozed off thinking my own set of happy thoughts. 5 "C'mon Sissy! Wake up! Wake up! We gotta go to the library, remember?!" Bright light blistered my eyes, but two tiny hands locked onto my arm shaking me were much more disturbing. "Wha... Gabby?! What time is it?!" I groaned. "It's eight o'clock, Sissy! We gotta get ready and go!" She wasn't this excited the first time I took her to the state fair. "Why are you up so early? I thought you didn't wanna go to the library with me!" I opened my eyes to a squint. She was grinning ear to ear. "And what made you so happy this mornin'?" "I dunno, Sissy," she said. "I jus' felt happy when I woke up, that's all." I looked down at her thumb – it was wet and wrinkled like she'd just been swimming. Suddenly, I felt a bit more energetic myself. "'Sides, faster we get done, faster we can go do somethin' fun, like swimmin' at the crick or shoppin' or somethin'!" I sat up and smiled at her, though my eyes were still bleary. "Well alright! Let's get some breakfast and go on and do some studyin', then!" "Yay!" she shouted, dashing out of the bedroom in a blur. I certainly didn't expect the relaxation techniques to work that good. I wondered how long it'd been since she had a decent night's sleep, what with how bright and chipper she was this morning. That led me to thinking about what I'd told her about wanting to do it all the time, and what I could do to keep her waking mind occupied and see how far that went. I started to slip on some jeans, then I had a little epiphany about the matter. I flipped through the tiny section of the closet that was still my clothes and found one of my "date" dresses. It was a navy blue number with brass buttons down the front with a skirt that fell just to my mid-thigh. Quickly I dressed and put on a fresh pair of panties, then strutted out into the kitchen. Gabby was already shoveling cereal into her face when I walked in, and her eyes bulged a bit when she saw me. "Wha're you aw' 'reffed u' for?" she mumbled through a mouthful of Cheerios. "We're goin' to the public library. That means we're goin' downtown, which means we need to look our best for the gentlemen," I said with a grin as I poured myself some coffee. "Aw, do I have to get all dressy too?" she moaned. "What do I care what icky boys think of what I'm wearin?" "Yeah, you have to get all dressy too," I said. "Unless you're happy lookin' like the baby sister just taggin' along, instead of a fine young lady what deserves her own attention." I knew that'd motivate her. "Ooh, does that mean I get to wear makeup?" she squealed. Damn, I should've expected that one. Oh well, I could probably do a little touch-up on her without spoiling the effect. "Alright, but I'm pickin' your outfit, and no fussin' about what I choose, you hear me?" I said sternly. "I won't fuss, I promise!" she said. I thought for sure she was gonna explode into a big puff of sparkles. "Good, then finish your breakfast and we'll get started." I smiled as I sipped my coffee and watched her dive into her cereal with even more enthusiasm. Once she'd finished up, I took her back into the room and rifled through her clothes, acting like I was considering each of her dresses while in the back of my head knowing exactly which one I wanted. When I found it, I took a long look at it, stealing a glance or two at her out of the corner of my eye to see her reaction. "Perfect!" I declared, pulling the black-on-white polka dot number with the big red ribbon demarcating its empire waist. Her face fell. "That's not a grownup dress! I'll look like a baby in that!" "What'd I tell you about fussin'?" I warned her. "Trust me, this is a perfect spring dress, and once we get some makeup on you and get your hair done up, you'll look like a fine young lady." "Okay," she replied without much conviction, flopping onto her bed with a cute little pout. "Well don't just sit there, silly!" I scolded. "Get those jammies off so we can get you dolled up proper!" She stripped while I fished a pair of panties and her sheer white knee-stockings out of her drawer and handed them to her. After she put them on, I helped her with the dress, zipping it up in the back and tying the ribbon into a huge bow. I turned her around and smiled at the pout still plastered on her face. "There. A little makeup and a nice grownup hairstyle and you'll be the belle of the ball!" I said. She didn't look convinced, but I knew I had her over a barrel with the promise of wearing makeup, something Ma never allowed. I took her into the bathroom, made her brush her teeth, then went at it with a brush, pulling her straight blonde locks into a ponytail on top of her head so it would cascade out in all directions. She brightened up a bit at that touch; she'd seen me wear my hair just like that before. Of course, on my tall frame with my brown curls and my much longer bangs lifted up with some hairspray, it was a very adult hairstyle. On her little face with her little bangs that Ma kept trimmed above her eyebrows, with the little red bow I attached in front, I couldn't have made her look more childish short of giving her pigtails with beads. I squatted down next to her and said, "Now hold still and face me, or you'll make me muss this up." She froze in place, and I went to work, first on her cheeks with a little touch of red blush, then some very muted pink lipstick, finishing with a tiny bit of eye shadow. I turned her toward the mirror and said, "There, what do you think?" She grinned broadly, which just exaggerated the Kewpie doll look I'd given her. Clearly all she cared about was getting to wear makeup at all, not realizing I'd make her look five years younger, not the five years older she saw. "Thank you, Sissy!" she gushed. "Now, go get your shiny black shoes out of the closet and then go watch TV for a minute while I get myself fixed up, okay?" I said, gently shooing her toward the door. I took my time doing my hair and face, then went back to the bedroom to get my blue heels and my notebooks. I sauntered out to the living room and just smiled when I saw Gabby sitting on the couch, her eyes locked on the TV and her little legs just kicking away. I was a bit disappointed to see that the TV hadn't been enough of a distraction for my little suggestion to take hold. Clearly I had more work to do. I made a mental note to stop at the video store and let Gabby pick out a movie to watch tonight. Whenever we rented a video, Gabby would always pick out the scariest looking thing she could find, and it'd scare her half to death, and she'd wind up having nightmares three nights in a row. Normally I dreaded those moments, so I'd try and talk her out of it, because I'd be the one who wound up staying up with her all night, but I had a feeling it'd be much easier to reinforce the thumb-sucking if she started having the terrors again. "You about ready to go, Gabby?" I asked. She bounced off the couch and said, "Yep!" with a toothy grin. "I don't see your book bag anywhere," I scolded. "Not gonna get much studyin' done without it!" "Oops," she said sheepishly, then dashed into the bedroom. When she resurfaced with her little pink Strawberry Shortcake knapsack, it was yet another struggle not to burst into giggles. If it weren't for her being just a bit too tall, she'd look like she was off to her first day of kindergarten. I put a hand on her shoulder and walked her out the door. "Now Gabby, if we run into any boys your age, they'll prob'ly make fun of you, but that's just 'cause they're jealous of how grown-up you look." The lie came surprisingly easy, and she swallowed it with a huge grin. Truth be told, I'd rather we run into some of her girl friends; they'd REALLY be jealous seeing her in makeup. I casually walked out to the car as she skipped ahead, and before long we were off.

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