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Before I get started telling you about my current lifestyle, let me give you a little background on myself and the woman who helped me get here. For as long as I can remember, I have had a fetish for wearing diapers. My memories go as far back as a young boy stealing his baby sisters' diapers and putting them inside his underwear. Another thing, I used to dream about being a girl instead of a boy. I used to tuck my penis between my legs and bring my legs together and go to sleep wishing I would wake up a girl. I never put a lot of thought into this, but as I became older and explored my sexuality more, I realized I had some bi-sexual tendencies that were connected to this fantasy.
When I met my girlfriend, I knew that I had to be honest to her about my diaper fetish. I had already learned how something like this could destroy a relationship, and decided that I was going to be honest with her from the beginning. At first it seemed like I had made the right decision. She seemed to be as interested in my fetish as I was. She started diapering me and even used some mild bondage on me while I was diapered. She seemed to enjoy when I wet the diaper, and would place her hand on the front of the diaper and feel the warming sensation as I wet.
Then came the day she introduced me to a real butt plug. I was tied to the bed wearing nothing but a diaper when she told me she had a surprise for me and pulled a red plug out of her dresser drawer. I had played with my ass in the past, but it was not a regular thing for me, but when I did play I really enjoyed it. She put plenty of lubrication on the toy and pulled the leg band of my diaper aside and rubbed her finger along the crack of my ass. When she hit my little hole, I moaned loudly. She slowly worked her finger into my ass and moved it in and out until I was comfortable. She removed her finger only to replace it with the plug. Once it was in place, she moved the elastic leg of the diaper back into place. She lay beside me on the bed and started to talk to me asking me how it felt and if I was enjoying the feeling. I confessed that I was in seventh heaven and loved the felling of having something in my ass. Especially something someone other than me put in there. She started to kiss me and reached down and started to rub the front of my diaper until I had one of the strongest orgasms I had ever had. When I came down from my cloud, she put a pacifier in my mouth and said it was nap time for baby, and she then left me alone wearing my diaper, bound to the bed with a butt plug and pacifier.
Scenes like these grew in intensity and frequency over the next two years. Our collection of fetish gear grew as well, and we had baby bottles, footed sleepers, rubber pants, onsies, bibs, some institutional diapers that were washable, several sizes of butt plugs(one inflatable), dildoes, a strap-on that held various size dildoes and had the option of one of two dildoes for the wearer, extensive bondage gear, gags, blindfolds, enema bags, etc.
However, as great as things seemed to me, they were not going so great for my girlfriend. She was starting to worry that my growing desire to have her penetrate my ass and the constant diapering was taking over my life and she was afraid that I would not be interested in regular sex anymore. Well, she was more right than she could have ever imagined. My fantasies were becoming more and more about being diapered 24/7 and even pushing the envelope to becoming a full time baby. I had tried to talk her into hypnosis, but she said that was too far for her and she would not do that. I fantasized about her taking hormones to help her lactate and then breastfeeding me. When she had the strap-on on, my mind would wander, wishing we could switch bodies and then she would be fucking my ass and pussy with my dick. I wished I could suck her dick for her and swallow her cum. She started to call me an anal whore, and that turned me on to no end. I was getting to the point where I could barely even get my dick hard unless there was a diaper on me or I had something in my ass. She was doing things that she thought would humiliate me, like having me masturbate for her while she fucked my ass or had a big butt plug stuffed in my ass. She would also make me masturbate after she opened my diaper when I was wet or messy. But this backfired on her as I enjoyed those scenes and wanted more.
After two years of living this lifestyle, she dropped a bomb on me telling me that she could not live this lifestyle anymore. She told me that she loved me a lot and that all these things were leading me down a direction that would eventually destroy us because she was already having trouble looking at me as a man. I was going to have to make a decision, her or the fetishes. I truly loved her and thought maybe she would change her mind and that maybe this was just a test of my love, so naturally I chose her and told her I would give everything up. Nearly a week went by when I thought about masturbating with a nice butt plug. I went to our private chest where everything was kept just to find it empty. When I questioned her about it, she told me she threw everything away to make it easier to stop. I was sickened as the reality hit me that she had thrown over a thousand dollars or equipment and toys away. Now I really had to decide whether I wanted to live without her or the toys. It is one thing to not want to participate with me in my fetishes, but she wanted me to go cold turkey and not even explore them privately anymore.
Nearly two more years went by with me keeping true to my word and not pursuing the fetishes, but the relationship was falling apart, and I moved out and into my own place. I immediately went back into diapers and found myself wearing them every night and every day I was not at work, I was diapered all day. I slowly began to collect some of the toys we used to have, and began to play with my ass, sticking beads and plugs in myself. It was not the same, but it felt good and I was enjoying the pleasure of anal stimulation again.
As a couple, we tried to remain friends, and since we had two dogs together, we seen each other frequently. I should have known it would only be a matter of time, but she came over for the dogs one day when I was at work and discovered my accumulation of fetish gear. I know she was hurt, but she did not say anything to me right away. Instead, she did some research on Dominate women who know how to deal with this sort of thing.
What she found was a woman that lived nearly 400 miles away in a small community. She was a doctor by profession, but had experience feminizing men.
My ex talked with me about taking a vacation with her to a bed and breakfast and discussing where our relationship was headed. I agreed, and two weeks later we were off for a three day weekend. I had no idea what was in store for me when we arrived at our destination. It took us nearly 7 hours to reach the house and when we did, we found a gorgeous home located about 20 miles from the city limits and completely surrounded by trees and shrubs. It looked like one of the most secluded and relaxing places on earth. As we pulled to the front, a woman who introduced herself as Janet greeted us. Then a female servant came out front and offered to help us with our things and show us to our room. After she showed us our room, she informed us that dinner would be ready in one hour. As we settled into our room, we made small talk and waited for dinner. This is when I was informed that Janet was a doctor and she had therapy training for couples with issues just like ours. She then told me that she had seen all the fetish materials in my new apartment, and that Janet knew about everything we had been through thus far. I felt defeated, lied to, and angry. However, if there was any chance of our relationship surviving, this would be the last hope for both of us.
When we arrived in the dining room, Janet was seated at the head of the table, and there were place settings for the two of us on opposite sides of the table. Janet stood and greeted us and we took our seats. Once we were all seated, the servant entered the room and Janet introduced her as Alexia. We were informed that Alexia would be seeing to our every need during our stay at her private resort. Alexia then left the room and brought the first course of the meal into us. Janet broke the silence by making small talk about our trip to the resort, other than that it was a fairly quiet meal. When the main course arrived, we were all served a glass of red wine. Janet raised her glass and said a toast, "To new beginnings." We all touched glasses and repeated the toast and drank our wine. I drank nearly my whole glass at once. That is the last thing I remember about dinner.
When I woke up in the morning, something felt out of place. I was very disoriented, and when I tried to move, I found I was restrained. I felt very weak and had no energy or strength to fight. I tried to speak and found that there was something in my mouth preventing me from talking. I could hear the girls talking in the background, but I could not make out anything they were saying. Then they noticed that I was awake. They approached the bed from either side and looked at me.
"Don't be afraid" Janet said. She went on to tell me that she had been informed about my alternate lifestyle, and that she was here to help me. I would be staying with her indefinitely until she felt I would be ready to return to my girlfriend. I immediately looked at Lynn and she told me that she still loved me, and this would be the only way for us to be together for the rest of our lives. Janet looked at Lynn and told her that she would call her with updates, and that this could take a while, so don't be impatient. Lynn thanked her, leaned over me, gave me a kiss on the forehead and then told me to mind Janet and she would see me soon. Then she turned and left.
Once we were alone, Janet told me not to be scared, and that I was going to be alright. She told me that I am not alone in my alternate lifestyle, and that there are other men just like me who dream the same dreams. She told me that she has experience helping those men live those dreams, and that by living the dream will help me live a more normal life. She told me that from this day forward, I would have to be diapered 24/7, and that diapers would no longer be a fetish, but a necessity. By accepting this, my life will not seem like a secret that is kept from the world, but just an everyday part of life likes socks and shoes. With that she turned a valve on the IV tube in my arm, and the liquid started to flow. I became very tired and was soon unconscious.
When I woke up, I was in a completely white room. Janet was near the bed dressed in her doctors' uniform.
"Good" she said, my patient is awake. My whole body hurt, and I was still restrained. I could hardly move my muscles, and my skin felt like it was on fire. She told me that my skin would feel like it has a minor irritation for a while, because they did laser hair removal on my entire body. The only hair that I had left on my body was the hair on top of my head and my eyebrows. She also informed me that she performed a minor surgery on my rectum and penis, essentially leaving me completely incontinent. Panic was stirring, and she recognized the look on my face.
"Relax" she told me as she assured me that if I wanted a life of wearing diapers that I could not expect to look like a man. A real man does not wear diapers; only a sissy boy wears diapers. So, if you are going to wear diapers, you are going to be a sissy boy not a man. I could tell I was hooked to medical equipment, because as she told me this, I could hear my heart rate climbing.
"If you do not relax, you will have to be sedated again", I was warned. Then she felt the inside leg of my diaper and stated that I was wet and called out for Alexia to get me changed. Alexia entered the room and for the first time, she spoke. Don't worry dear; she told me, everything will be alright. Trust me, she said. Then with expert hands, she untapped my diaper, cleaned me up and put a fresh diaper on me.
I was scared even as I was changed, because my pubic area was very tender and sore. I dismissed it at first, figuring it was from the electrolysis. But when Janet came back into the room, I overheard Alexia tell her that the sutures looked good, and seemed to be healing nicely. Then I drifted off to sleep again due to my drugged state.
I do not know how long I was in and out of consciousness, but all the pain in my body was gone. I had very little strength left, and I had lost a lot of body weight. Janet came into my room and told me that I was healing nicely from my surgeries, and that phase one of my procedures was over. She told me that I had to regain some of my strength back before we could proceed. I tried to speak for the first time since my stay, and my voice was different, much higher pitched. Janet chuckled, and said it sounds different know, but it is still my voice, and I will get used to the sound very soon. She told me that she tightened my vocal cords to take away the masculine voice I was haunted with and give me a new voice more appropriate to who I was. She then called Alexia in and they helped me to sit up and transferred me to a wheelchair.
As she wheeled me out to the patio. She asked me if I knew what the date was. I guessed a date 3-4 days out from when we arrived. She once again chuckled and told me that I had been with them for 6 weeks. She said that Lynn had called my boss and informed them that I was in a serious automobile accident, and I as a doctor sent them appropriate medical papers documenting the fact. Thinking the procedures were lifesaving procedures, my health insurance was paying for all the work that has been done to me and all the work that is yet to come. At that time, she told me that I was completely and irreversibly incontinent and would be in diapers for the rest of my life. My insurance company believes this is a result of the accident and will be providing diapers to me as a prescription, so neither Lynn nor I will have to incur the expense of purchasing them. However, since I have chosen to wear diapers as a lifestyle choice, both Lynn and Janet have decided to remove my masculinity. My body hair had been permanently removed, my vocal cords tightened, my weight was drastically reduced, and I was given a penile reduction.
Startled, I asked her what she meant by that, and was informed that my penis was still in place, but the length of the shaft had been removed, so just the head of the penis is in place, and the testicles were also removed. This was to stop the production of testosterone, and help in my feminization process. I slumped over in the chair and started to sob uncontrollably.
"What have you done to me?" I gasped.
"Only what you wanted to be done" was her response.
That evening when Alexia was changing me and getting me ready for bed, she told me about herself. As it turns out, Alexia is Janet's husband of nearly 20 years. Other than the desire to wear diapers, he had the same fantasies that I did, and Janet cured him of his problems. She told me how she is happier now than ever, and has finally found a sense of purpose in life, as I will find that purpose in my life. I began to cry again, and Alexia held me tight and ran her fingers through my hair.
For the next 6 months, I was given shots of high doses of estrogen weekly, and weight pills and vitamins daily. I became used to the fact that I needed the diapers, and started to develop very feminine characteristics. There were changes to my body that were only characteristically women's features, and Janet put me under the knife a couple of more times for some minor plastic surgery. My check bones were raised, my nose and chin were both thinned, and my bottom rib was removed. The later was the most painful procedure to endure. The last procedure I endured was a breast augmentation. I was given a conservative 'B' cup which seemed to fit my new body just fine.
When all the procedures were complete, I was allowed to see myself in a mirror for the first time. Once again, I broke out into tears, because the woman standing in the mirror wearing the diaper was not even close to the man I once remembered looking at. I then asked permission to take the diaper off and see what is left of the manhood they left behind. Janet came over and slowly removed the diaper and for the first time seen the nub of penis that was left to remind me I was once a man.
At this point, I do not know if I was crying out of anger or happiness. I was now the spitting image of the person I dreamed of being. Other than the fact that I did not have a pussy, nothing else about me even hinted that I was once a man. In 8 months, my appearance went from a normal looking man to a woman who not only wears diapers, but needs them as well.
Even though my physical transformation was complete, Janet informed me that my mental transformation still needed some work before I could go home. Over the next 6 months, the estrogen shots continued as did the pills I was taking. I was also taught how to cook, clean, do laundry and every other chore that a house maid would do. Once I started to get efficient at those chores, Janet and Alexia told me the last thing I needed to learn was how to make proper love to a woman. They explained to me that what was left of penis was useless for love making, and that sexual aids and oral sex would become a new way of life for us. They worked with me for several weeks before they were satisfied that I would be able to not only satisfy Lynn, but any woman I ever encountered. One week later I was informed that Lynn would be here to pick me up that afternoon. I did not know what to say. I almost felt like I belonged here now. I still felt a strong love toward Lynn, but Janet and Alexia were like new parents/lovers. For 14 months, they put the boy in me to rest and raised a new little girl and then turned her into a woman.
When Lynn arrived, the reunion was very emotional. I was standing in the living room wearing only a sun dress with diapers underneath. She came up to me and gave me a huge hug. It was at this point that I realized just how much smaller I was and the extent they had altered my body. I was still the same height, but I was only about 115 lbs and actually felt small next to Lynn. As we headed to the car, she held my door for me and closed it behind her. As she drove home, she held my hand the entire trip, and I swear she was looking at me more than the road. When we arrived home, I was surprised to find the guest room remodeled and was furnished for me. Besides a bed, there was a desk set up with a mirror for making myself up in the morning; the closet was full of dresses, blouses, shirts and shoes; and there was an adult sized changing table with shelves full of diapers below.
Lynn then explained to me that the old me was dead, and a new person was born. She told me that she released me from my old prison, and as payment, we would live our lives out together in this house. I was going to be a stay home wife and she would be the bread winner of the family. She told me that Janet had given her some training and tips on how to please me sexually as she did me, and that our new lives should be rewarding and fulfilling. With that she came over and took my hand, leads me into her bedroom, and then closed the door behind her, but that is another story.
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