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 Man and Child - By Les Lea

Man and Child

Howard shuffled around the aisles of the superstore, no matter where he went he always ended up in the diaper section. He had no idea why as he was there to shop for food, yet still, with his little basket empty, and no matter which way he turned, he ended back in the same aisle.

At 82, Howard occasionally got confused. He’d watched his partner of forty years forget him, and everything else, as Alzheimer’s took control of his body nine years ago, he hoped that wouldn’t happen to him. However, there was no doubt about it; things were getting more and more difficult. His bladder more or less gave up two years ago but going back into diapers hadn’t been that much of a trauma. Earlier in their relationship they’d both enjoyed a bit of ABDL fun well, now, he had no choice if he didn’t want a stream of piss marking his route.

The young man behind the counter was asking him if he was OK. Of course he was OK he was just asking him for a loaf of bread. The seventeen year-old apprentice butcher tried to explain that this was the meat counter, the bakery was on the other side of the store. The young lad was patient with the old man and tried to direct him to the correct place and after a few minutes of gentle persuasion Howard realised his mistake, thanked the boy and ambled off. He ended back at the baby’s diaper section yet again.

He stood there remembering the fun they’d had and slowly felt the bulk that now occupied his own trousers, not out of fun these days but necessity. He wished he could go back, he wished he could live his life in these more enlightened times but, he was old and… what was he here for? Oh yes, he needed to buy something for dinner, that was it, dinner.

He arrived at the checkout with his meagre provisions. Four items; sausages, bread, tea and milk - it wasn’t much but he’d always loved a sausage sandwich. By the time the queue had lessened and it was his turn to pay he felt quite odd. He was breathless, even though he’d done no exercise, and his head felt fuzzy. Once he’d paid for it he noticed the bench were normally old folk sat and chatted was empty. His heart was racing so shuffled over to it and gratefully sat down.

‘Whoa’, he was happy for the rest before he set off on the half mile walk back to his apartment but a deep agony that left him rigid with pain… as if his heart was fit to explode, engulfed him. He couldn’t move and his bladder had given way. He couldn’t prevent his few purchases falling to the floor, he couldn’t see anything but a blur…he couldn’t move… he couldn’t…

*****

Where am I?

I can hardly see.

All I can hear is muffled sounds.

I can’t make out what anyone is saying but there seems to be hundreds, well maybe thousands of people all talking.

I can see them in my head as easily as I can see anyone else but my eyes just won’t focus on anything except… moving shadows, shapes and the occasional flash of… lightness.

What the hell is going on?

Am I in hospital?

The tightness and pain has gone, yet for some reason, I’m crying. Why am I crying?

I need to speak to someone. I need some answers. I need to shut these thousands of people up. They’re driving me mad.

Every one of them is talking, explaining, emphasising… often in a language I don’t understand but I know they are trying to tell me something important - to impart some knowledge.

If I can stop crying and listen for a while perhaps I’ll find out what all these people are doing here in my head.

I’m snug and warm but I have no idea why.

I suppose the store has put me somewhere, perhaps I’m in hospital, maybe I’m dreaming. No, it’s not that. I feel warm and protected and I’ve stopped crying.

There are other voices now outside my head though I can’t understand what they’re saying.

The voices in my head and the people I can feel in my brain are offering advice, showing me untold wonders, telling me all about the secrets of the universe.

I can hear… I’m beginning to comprehend.

I know I’ve had some kind of shock to my system but why are they telling me all these things now. Is it some kind of revelation, which I’ll need to know when I’m feeling better?

Suddenly, a bright light but I see nothing.

I am crying again but only for a short while before I am sucking on something. Why am I doing that?

Oh, it’s nice. Mmmm I could get used to this.

As I concentrate on getting sustenance, the voices begin to fade.

No don’t go. I want to know the secrets of the universe and the meaning of…

Well, I can’t speak with this in my mouth so I’ll ask them when I’ve finished.

However, I can see all those shadows… one by one… slowly dissolving from my minds-eye… but it seems more important at this moment to keep sucking. I don’t know why. Therefore, I just suck and suck and suck… and sleep takes me.

*****

When I open my eyes there is no one and I can hear nothing.

The images and voices in my head have all gone but outside, the shadows and strange noises continue.

What was it those voices were telling me? The secret of… Oh damn… I can’t remember but I know it must have been important from the way everyone was talking to me. Well, I’m sure it will come back but for the moment.

Suck, suck, suck, suck…

I think this is the weirdest dream but at least my chest is no longer filled with the tension of stress. I’m warm, happy, relaxed and… what is that feeling… that other feeling?

Suck, suck, suck…

What was it I was worried about? Why am I even thinking about… I’ve no idea? I can’t remember now, all I know is that I like this new feeling.

I can’t even remember the voices or anything that was told to me but I don’t care. This new sensation is far better. I only have to cry and I get food.

Suck, suck, suck…

*****

My eyesight is getting better.

I can make out strange people who are fussing over me. I can see my legs.

That’s funny…God they are so small. Ohhhh… this is one hell of a dream. Ooops, someone has just picked me up. Now they are laughing and there’s powder and a smell of… not sure what that is.

It’s all a bit clearer now, don’t know what all that other stuff was about. Erm…er… was there some ‘other stuff?

I’m naked but I appear to being dressed in. Bloody hell… I must be in a bad way, they’re putting me in a diaper. I must have lost use of all my bodily functions. I’ll have to ask what is going on but every time I try to speak, all I end up doing is crying. Oh, this isn’t good. My brain is… erm, I’m not sure what….

Mmmm suck, suck, suck…

Where am I?

Who am I?

Why doesn’t anyone speak to me except in those silly tones?

I no longer understand a word being said. I can’t say a word. I gurgle, I cry. That’s it. But I need to express myself this is a living hell. I need help.

Suck, suck, suck… but it’s all so warm and nice…

Suck, suck, suck…

The shapes in front of my eyes are becoming clearer. I don’t know who they are… nurses, my carers? I don’t know. I don’t know anything any more. My brain is going numb. I know something happened but I can’t remember…

I’m held and kissed and the feeling is fantastic.

I sleep.

I feed.

I sleep and the memory fades.

“Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good little girl? Who’s a pretty baby?”

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