Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce once said “Wine,
madam, is God’s next best gift to man.”
My week had been a solid week
of great wine. I was on a trip which departed from
Paris, where I was starting a
new semester next week. My first semester abroad.
Everyone I knew told me that to really enjoy
France, you need to
get out of the metropolitan areas and see the
countryside. So that’s the first thing I did. I
booked a bus tour that went for five days out into
France’s vast backyard… looking for the best wines.
“Visitez de nombreux domaines
viticoles,” the flyer boasted. Translated through my
tourist dictionary it meant to see the vineyards and
wineries of France. I’m absolute rubbish with the
language myself, but that was my reason for this
trip, to study French in France. Where better to
learn it, right? So that’s where I found myself now.
Comfortably seated on a tour bus, languidly staring
out the window to the bumpy hills covered with
grapes like patchwork quilts.
Every day was a little slice of
paradise. We’d leave from a small Inn early in the
morning and drive on to another just like it in some
other quaint little town. Once you were there, you
could walk about the old cobblestone streets and eat
at splendid little sidewalk cafés, or make your way
to the vineyards.
I was fortunate that our guide
and most of the other tourists spoke French. This
far out of the metro areas and nobody spoke any
English, so I felt alienated quite quickly (not that
I didn’t stand out in my khaki’s with a clunky
camera hanging around my neck). I was also lucky
that the majority of my tour group was about the
same age as me. You see, my name is Andy and I’m 22
and going on my first semester abroad as a senior in
college. To save up for this adventure, it took me
the better part of a year, but as things have gone,
it’s been worth every penny.
“Attencion,” the tour guide
said in her accented English. “We’re almost to
Colgneune. If you please, on our right is the Le
Febure Viticoles, known for her antique wines. It’s
rumored that there are bottles there aged and stored
for more than two centuries!”
The mixed tourists ooh’ed and
ahh’ed at the small brick house on the hill of which
she spoke. I looked at it curiously, nestled above
thousands of grape vines. Perhaps I could find a few
nice bottles to send home and have laid down for a
few years at my mom’s? “Certainly worth a look,” I
said pleasantly with a smile.
The bus arrived at our
Inn. It was a nice large house with two
dozen rooms, all booked for those of us on the bus.
We got off, checked in, put our bags in our rooms
and headed out for more sightseeing.
As with most of the things this
week, I took my time. I had made friends with a few
of the guys and gals on the trip, and I walked with
them checking out little shops, sampling the food,
and just having a good time. One of the girl’s was
fluent in French, so she handled the blunt load of
translating for us.
At one end of the town was a
nice cathedral. It was really something to look at,
must have been around since the medieval days. Next
to it was a small catholic school, classes in
session by the look of it.
As the day wound down, and the
sun began to hang, I told my friends that I still
wanted to go to that Le Febure Viticoles and check
out the wines. Most of the group, having been to
vineyards every day for the past four days weren’t
as excited to trek back down the road to get outside
town to where it was. So, I parted with them, taking
my pocket book of helpful phrases and starting off
to the vineyard.
About two miles down the road,
I found myself walking up to the nice little stone
house. Green ivy and vines had helped color its
bottom half green, where the sun had baked the upper
half from red to a brown. It still had its rustic
charm though as I went into the open-air barn where
a few men were bottling wine.
“Afternoon,” I said politely as
I walked up. I felt sure it was pretty obvious I was
a tourist. I had on my camera and a hiking backpack;
I even had on my boonie hat which as I’d found out
two days ago, was like screaming “I’m American! See!
Complete lack of style!” But eh… so what. Give me
functionality over style any day.
“Bonsoir monsieur,” replied a
burly looking worker. He wiped his hands of blue-red
juice and offered a handshake. I shook his hand and
thumbed through my booklet for some phrases I’d dog
eared on the walk here.
“Excusez-moi, je ne parle pas
francais... Um… J' ai besoin... d' aide pour choisir
un bon vin.” Which if I played my cards right,
should have said “Sorry, don’t speak French, but I’d
like some help finding a good wine.” I said it and
did my noble best to keep from offending them by my
horrible use of their language. Somehow I felt that
my stuttering vowels must have been like a rake on a
The man shook my hand again and
then barked at another worker who took his spot at
bottling. He motioned for me to follow and he led
the way into a nice cool cellar. He was speaking a
mile a minute, all of it in French of course, so I
didn’t understand a word, except when he
occasionally said “vin” which is wine. He gestured
grandly at pictures hung on the wall. They were all
the same picture really, but with a little variety
of the person. The first was a man, then a man and
his son; then that son a little older standing with
a son of his, and so on and so fourth, all the way
down the stairs. If I were to judge the generations
of this family, by the number of pictures, I’d say
this guy had wine in his veins since before
was recognized as a free land.
down here is wonderful! Best stuff in the country!
Some of it is two centuries old! Beats the hell out
of that grape juice in your
California! Been making it
over ten generations now, ever since my great great
great blah blah blah” (you get the idea).
The cellar was just long rows
of wine. Racks upon racks of wine. As I’d come to
understand from reading, you couldn’t drink some
yet. The better wines were set after they were
bottled and would lay undisturbed for the better
part of a few years depending on the wine. The only
movement that came to them was when the bottle was
turned every now and then to prevent sediment, or
something of that sort.
He led me along some of the
middle racks, pointing and blabbering about the dust
covered bottles as if they were liquid versions of
the Mona Lisa. One thing about the men who made wine
France, they took
serious pride in their goods. He took out a bottle
and handed it to me. It had a small picture of the
vineyard on the front, and a label with the year
1967. I smiled as I looked at the bottle.
“Combien? (How much?)” I asked.
140 euros was close to $180 on
my conversion chart. I looked at the bottle again.
It was an awful lot for just one bottle. I decided
against it and waved it off. The man shrugged and
led me on to another few bottles, each progressively
lower in prince, but not by much. Age demands high
price as you might guess.
The man was starting to get
aggravated by my waving off every bottle he handed
me. We were down to 80 euro bottles, which was just
above $100. It was still too much for me. I
apologized the best I could and decided I’d better
leave. The man took it like a slap in the face. He
seemed like I might as well ask him for bottles of
He stormed off and left me
standing in the laberynth of wine. I shrugged and
started to pick my way back to the stairs before he
found me again. He thrust another bottle at me, not
saying a word. I took it and examined the cover. It
“Holy jesus…” I sputtered. “How
much? er.. Combien?”
I looked at him like he was
mad. 20 euros? This couldn’t be real wine then. He
probably poured antifreeze and ketchup in a bottle
to sell off to the dumb American. I raised an
eyebrow at him and repeated it. “20 euros?”
The man nodded and pointed to
the date. I nodded back. “I see the date, that’s why
I’m questioning you. How can you sell a bottle like
this for 20 euros? This should be an heirloom for
your daughter’s marriage or something,” I said
accidentally reverting to English.
The man looked at me confused
and just repeated 20 euros. I shrugged. He had shown
me around his stock and I’d declined everything thus
far, maybe he was doing me a good turn?
“Can I try a sip?” I asked. He
stared blankly. I made a little motion with my hand
and the bottle like I wanted to try a drop. He shook
his head no and extended his hand for money. Since
he’d been nice to me, and I wanted to at least have
something, I gave him 20 euros, which he accepted
with no happiness and led me back upstairs. I
figured I could at least show the bottle to my
companions and maybe get them to taste it before me
should it be poisonous.
I left down the road once again
for the Inn. The
sun was going down now and I figured it’d be a good
idea to meet with everyone before nightfall.
As I was walking, a funny thing
happened. The bottle, which I had stored in my
backpack, began to make a weird sloshing sound. I
stopped for a second and took off my backpack and
realized the damn cork had fallen out. There was
wine all in my backpack.
“Oh great, wine from the civil
war era… and its all over everything. Let’s see,
ruined my phrase book, ruined my travel papers, oh
my journal too. And look, passport. Least its mostly
laminated.” I said a little less then happy. Stupid
wine, this was that guy’s payback. I sat and took
inventory of the bag. 85% of the things in it were
virtually ruined, or at least soggy enough that even
after they were aired out, they’d be all purple and
crinkly. I took out the offending bottle, it was
about half empty. I stuck it on the road while I
finished cleaning out my pack.
“I need to f***ing drink now,”
I said aloud as I crumpled up some of my journal
notes where the ink had bled with the wine. All the
days previous to this were now a blue smear on
paper. I grabbed the bottle and gave it a good
sniff. For being older then
(home state) it sure smelt pretty good. I poured out
a drop on my tongue. It tasted like pure grape
flavored heaven. Maybe I really had bought an
heirloom? I sniffed again and licked another drop.
Whatever it was, it didn’t taste bitter like I
suspected poison might, and it still had that
alcohol feel, so I knew that if I drank enough of
it, it might actually do what wine should.
I upended the bottle and gulped
down the last two mouthfuls left in the bottle. It
was like letting pure ambrosia pour down your
throat. It was so good, that if it was poison, I
might as well have let it kill me because I’d never
find a sweeter beverage after that.
I threw the bottle in the
grass, and piled all my stuff into a stack of books
and papers. I left my backpack unzipped and started
back down the road with the papers bundled in my
arms. The sun was down now, and the sky had changed
from purple to a slowly shadowing blue. On the back
roads like these, there weren’t any street lights,
so I was going to have a little difficulty with my
walk, but luckily it wouldn’t be that far.
I kept walking until the road
started to move. I stood still for a minute, but the
road was still moving. It was wobbling left and
right, the way a fish would swim upstream. “That’s…
not right,” I said to myself, running my hand
through my hair, knocking off my boonie cap and
dropping my books. My hand felt weird too. “Am I
drunk?” I said staring at my hand, it was looking a
little fuzzy, and when I moved it, twelve copies of
it moved a frame too slow.
I took a few steps forward, but
if anything, the road wasn’t wobbling any more, it
was slithering. I was close to the town, I could
make it, just a little further. Suddenly, I was
moving forward without telling myself too. I was
falling. I hit the pavement at an angle, shoulder
out. I rolled over somehow into a ditch alongside
the road… face in the grass. Darkness took me.
I felt cold… and wet. Wet like
a flower covered with dew in the morning. My head
felt like it had been donated to a train wreck, than
returned to me. I tried to move, but commands from
my brain failed my body. Someone was talking in
French to me. It was a soft voice, somehow full of
compassion. At the same time, it sounded worried. It
“My god, she’s
alive! I must get her inside… who could have left
her in a ditch like this?”
Weightlessness… I was being
carried. There was an arm around my back, and
another under my knees. It felt like every part of
me was made of solid lead. I tried to speak but all
that got out was little bits of wind past my lips.
child… I’ll find out whatever has been done to you…”
Angélique could see the young girl trying to move
her lips and caught a slight odor. “Are… are you
drunk?” She kept rushing to her house. No doubt
about it, the girl’s breath smelt of vin. Her
clothes were also wrong too, making her seem even
more slovenly. They looked like an adults’, but this
girl couldn’t be past her teens.
I was inside now. I’m not sure
where, but the arms that had carried me had brought
me out of the cold. I felt my head and torso hit
linen, and a few moments later, I felt my legs and
arms, but it seemed they were on a time delay.
the poor thing has wet herself… What an awful awful
state… to be blitheringly drunk and to have fallen
in a ditch in a complete state of utter miss-dress.”
Angélique started to undress the girl and ran to get
a cold cloth.
The darkness crept from the
corners of my eyes once again. It was taking over
the already blurred shadows of the room. Soon,
things faded out.
tended to the girl well into the night. The poor
thing was running a fever now but at least she was
in fresh clothes. She’d dressed her in a night
shirt, although meant for someone Angélique’s size,
it was at least better then the saturated stuff
she’d been wearing before. Still this girl was an
oddity. As the school teacher, Angélique knew every
teen this child’s age in Colgneune. Was this girl a
young runaway from another town? A little runaway
with a drinking problem?
The pounding in my head woke me
before the sun did. I groggily brought my hand up to
paw at my forehead. At the same moment I attempted
to open my eyes, but regretted it when I was met
with bright golden light. I groaned and covered my
eyes till the throbbing stopped.
I slowly opened my eyes once
more and let them adjust to the room. It was a
modest house, with wood floors and hazelnut colored
furniture. There were fresh flowers about and a
general clean order to the place. I did my best to
remember how I’d gotten here.
I started to roll out of bed,
but came upon a shock. Looking down at the blanket,
I saw a large wet patch. It looked like someone had
spilt a large glass of water on my lower half. I
lifted up the blanket and found white sheets the
same way, only… the patch was a little more yellow…
then it hit me. It wasn’t water. My eyes popped open
and a gasp escaped my lips. I threw off the sheets
next and found a girly nightshirt in the same state.
“What in the name…” I stared
down at my lower half… It was… it was wet. Had… Had
I wet the bed? My eyes wandered a little farther,
and I noticed something else out of place. My legs
didn’t seem long enough. Not only that, they weren’t
covered with short hair like they were supposed to
I brought my hands to my face.
My head was throbbing again, and it wasn’t going to
get better. I could feel I didn’t have my normal
stubble, my face was smooth, more then smooth. I
kept feeling on up, till I reached my hair. I didn’t
have my spikey short hair, I had long silk hair. My
hand kept tracing it all the way out till I could
hold a long straw-colored strand of it before my
I burst from the bed, tripping,
hitting a dresser, bumping the door upon, basically
flying like a blind bat out of hell. I saw a
bathroom at the end of the hall and made for it.
Inside I looked up into a mirror, it was a little
high on me.
Starring back at me was not a
22-year-old, no, staring back was a blonde haired
young girl. I pulled the hair out of my face and
stared at the gaped mouth reflection. It… was a mean
trick… I leaned in turning my head, the reflection
did the same. I turned the other way, staring as
deep into those unfamiliar green eyes as I could.
Who are you… I was grasping… hoping…. needing to
find me; because I certainly wasn’t here now.
I let out a scream. The type of
scream you’d see in a movie. Tears came to my eyes
as I backed away from the mirror.
“What’s happening to me!” I
yelled in a foreign, girlish voice. I heard a
startled response in another room down the hall. A
young woman came out running to me.
okay?! Oh no, I shouldn’t have left you alone like
this in a strange house…”
She was trying to console me in
French, but I couldn’t understand a word of it. She
had long brown hair, and a pretty face, but it
didn’t penetrate my extreme state of shock. She
tried to hug me close but I backed away. Her eyes
looked at me worriedly.
“You… oh poor
thing… looks like you wet yourself again… just how
much wine did you drink last night?”
We stood in a stand off. Tears
kept coming, she kept staring. Eventually my well
had dried up and I was standing still with a heavy
tearful, yet dry shivering. The woman put her hand
on my shoulder and did her best to look concerned.
“What… what happened to me?
What did you do to me?” I choked out. The woman
looked at me strangely.
you’re American? Maybe that explains the drinking.
Do you speak French? I can’t speak English.”
I heard “parlez-vous
français?” somewhere in her speech. I knew that
phrase. I answered “no parlez-vous français…”
The woman nodded and took my
hand. She walked us back to the room I’d been in and
let go of my hand. She stripped the bed of sheets
and the blanket and put them in a basket in the
hall. She came back and pulled the nightshirt off
me. I shrieked in surprise, although I shouldn’t
have been. I was… well equipped as a girl. I
couldn’t really tell what age because I didn’t know
developmental stages of girls, but I could see I was
somewhere in the middle of it.
The lady came back in with
another night shirt and a fresh pair of panties. She
handed them to me as I blushed and ran back off the
bathroom. I don’t know why I did… I think it was
because… I needed to cry again. Which I did.
There was a knock at the door.
I opened it while drying my eyes with my balled
Whatever you went through last night, looks like you
had a hard time of it. Would you like some
“I… I don’t understand you.”
The woman looked a little
pressed. She realized a little fuller that
communication between us would be difficult.
avec moi (come with me),” the lady said. She grabbed
my hand even though I still didn’t understand what
went downstairs into a nice kitchen. The place was a
little small and over crowded with books. The living
room, den, kitchen, library and study seemed to
occupy the main floor of the house as a single room.
The lady led me over to a table and had me sit down,
while she went to a fridge.
“I guess it won’t really
do much good to ask you what happened last night
since you can’t speak French huh?” she looked for an
French gibberish, I stared at
much… well,” Angélique pointed to herself, “I’m
The pointing and the phrase “Je
suis,” coupled with the name Angélique was fairly
self-explanatory. Her name was Angélique. I pointed
to myself. “Je suis Anthony.”
Anthony is a boy’s name. No, tell me your real
Angélique didn’t look satisfied
with my answer, in fact she was shaking her head. I
realized my name didn’t really match my new gender.
I shrugged and tried to think of something French.
The only thing that came to mind was that stupid
“Je suis Alouette,” I said.
how cute, named after a bird! That does suit you
well you little drinker. You gave me a hell of a
scare last night.”
I think Angélique somehow
thought that if she talked at me long enough, a
light switch for the French language would just flip
on and I’d be able to talk to her just like any one
else of her countrymen… er… women as the case may
Angélique made me some buttered
toast and orange juice. She made herself some after
she’d set a plate down before me. I was famished so
I tore at it like a jackal on the Serengeti.
“Good god, I’d
heard American’s were snobbish, but never little
Her eyes staring at me in mild
shock told me that I should probably eat the food a
little slower. I slowed down and she started too eat
too. I took a moment to think my situation over.
Somehow I wasn’t in my own body anymore, that or my
body had been transformed into a young girl. My
company led me to believe I was still in
“Oh crap! My bus! They leave in
the morning!” I looked outside. It was morning now.
They’d be looking for me, my friends would be
wondering where I was last night.
I jumped up from the table and
made a bee line for the door. I felt a hand grab at
“You can’t go
out like that! You’re just in a nightshirt. It’s not
proper! I can’t in good conscience let you run out
and get another bottle of wine.”
“Let me go! I have to get to my
friends… I have to get to English speakers so I can
straighten this nightmare out!!!”
By: CS Fox
“Let me go!” I yelled at
calm down. I think your still hung-over Alouette.”
“Why won’t you let go of me?”
For a brief moment I think she
understood me. She forced me back into the chair and
tugged at my shirt, as if to show it to me. I looked
at it, then at her, then at myself. Maybe my
original thoughts that she was trying to keep me in
captivity were wrong? Looking at myself a little
more, I realized she was trying to keep me in for
modesty sake; I was only in a t-shirt and panties
A loud knock stemmed from the
front door. It made the two of us jump a little.
Angélique crossed the room and opened the door. I
was at an angle so that I couldn’t see who was
there, but I got up and leaned over to see whoever
Angélique,” said a round short man. He was a
jolly sort of pudgy and had a ridiculous handle bar
mustache. He also looked to be a policeman of sorts.
“Have you by
chance seen a young American man? His name is Andy
and he was here in town with a tour group before he
went missing last night.”
No, can’t say I’ve seen an American Man… but
strangest coincidence, I did find this young girl…
Apparently she’s American.”
I heard the name Andy and
immediately perked up. This officer was looking for
me. When Angélique said something back to him, they
both turned to me. I didn’t know what to say, I sort
of froze and waited for them to make a connection. I
know I’d told Angélique what my real name was, and
maybe she’d pick up on the way I’d said it first.
“Is this the
American girl?” Monsieur Badeau asked.
Was lying in the ditch by the back road out of
not from the tour group then. They’re group is all
college age so she’s not old enough. Wonder where
she came from?”
“Why don’t you
ask her? She apparently doesn’t speak a word of
English isn’t great, but I’ll give it a shot.”
The man stepped up to me. He
smelt kind of like cloves and didn’t look very clean
kept. His uniform said “Police,” and had little
bright yellow patches and stuff on it. He leaned
down to me the way Santa might if he had to ask what
you wanted while standing up.
“Where from you?”
I think he wanted to know where
I was from. My mind suddenly grasped the idea he
might know a little English.
“I’m Anthony! I was in the
tourgroup! Help me! I’ve been hit with medieval
witchcraft or something! I swear I was a guy
yesterday!” I was talking so fast I was panting.
Angélique looked at me a little surprised at my
outburst. The officer did too.
“What… did she
“Is this girl
right in the head? She said that she was the man I’m
looking for? She said her name’s Anthony?”
“Hmm… she did
say that name to me earlier... But… I really must
tell you, she was really drunk last night. I picked
her up and she was just a mess. Still kind of is
The officer looked at me again.
“Please no lie mademoiselle. We
missing a man, not a girl.”
“I’m not lying! I’m Anthony!”
Alouette, I have no idea why she keeps saying that.”
“She may know
what happened to the young man though. You said
she’d mentioned his name earlier?”
you came in when we were having breakfast.”
could she have known it?”
“Maybe she met
the young man? What time did he go missing?”
“He just never
came back last night. His friends last saw him
in the afternoon.”
“I picked this
girl up around . She had been drinking really
heavily. From the state she was in, I’d say she had
probably been drinking long before 8. Maybe she met
him in her stupor?”
“Well, if you
could, keep her here and get her to sober up. Maybe
she can help us find this young man. For now, I
don’t think she’s going to be any help to us.”
“I’ll see to
it that she cleans up a bit.”
“Try to keep
her here. If she knows something, or worse, if she
was involved in his disappearance, we’ll need her
Badeau, I understand.”
The officer tipped his hat to
Angélique and looked at me one more time.
“Don’t go!! I’m Anthony!” I
said jumping out at him. Angélique caught me by the
shoulder and kept me in. The man looked at me like I
was a threat for a moment, then shook his head like
he felt pitty for me.
“Take care of
this poor girl, she’s still not right.”
And with whatever French he
spewed, he left and Angélique shut the door behind
him. I felt like my ship had just left harbor and I
was standing on the dock. How could he not believe
me? I struggled to get Angélique’s hand off my
shoulder and get out the door after him.
Her hand clamped down, and I
felt tears come to my eyes again as I started
yelling once more “Let me go! I’m Anthony! I’ll miss
the bus!” I was trying to push my feet forward, but
Angélique brought her other arm around my waist. My
tears came heavier now and I still tried to yell it.
I don’t know why I was crying. I think it was
because I was suddenly helpless, and the voice that
was yelling was not mine. It was the voice of a
young girl, and my mind didn’t want to accept the
fact that I was the speaker of it.
well Alouette, please stop yelling that
My body gave up its fight, and
I surrendered to my tears and a hug from Angélique.
I softly hit her shoulder, just repeating “I’m
Anthony… I’m Anthony…” But even my mind was
registering how ridiculous it sounded in my feminine
voice. Her hand patted my back, and the other gently
stroked the back of my head. The tears eventually
stopped coming and I just let my head lean against
her shoulder. She pushed me back a little and looked
into my eyes.
cry a lot, no? Poor girl…”
I looked away and stared at the
floor. Angélique sighed and took my hand, leading me
“Take a long
bath, it will clean you up a little better and help
you sober up. I’ll figure out what to do with you
Angélique brought me to the
bathroom and started the running water in the old
style porcelain tub. I just stood like a zombie.
Whatever spirit had been in me to run before was
gone now with that good cry. Angélique left to a
closet in the hall and came back with some towels.
By now the tub was full of hot water. She put the
folded pile of towels on the floor.
“Just come get
me when you’re done.”
I looked at her blankly
once more, still no idea what she was saying. She
pointed at the water, then pointed at me, then the
towels, then herself. She left the bathroom and shut
the door behind her. I stood for another moment not
really sure what I felt like doing, but in the end I
took off the night shirt and panties and gingerly
got into the tub. After having pissed myself last
night, I really wanted to take a bath anyways… and
maybe it would help rid me of this horrible
I found a new problem with the
bath though. Like everything else I’d done this
morning, it felt like I was doing it with a
stranger, or doing it for the first time. This body
was absolutely foreign to me. It was weak where it
should have been strong, it was soft where it should
have been rough. It was every which way it shouldn’t
The remnants of man in me, was
even curious to explore this new body, but at the
same time repulsed by the idea. As stupid as it
sounds, my new body was only like 14 or 15… and it
just felt… well it felt wrong. Just flat wrong. I
washed those parts of me in the same way someone did
a chore they hated doing; quickly and with as little
enthusiasm as possible.
Afterwards I just laid in the
tub. I was wishing this was all a dream. Some bad
dream where I was liable to wake up any minute… but
I knew it wasn’t a dream. It was too real, I’d felt
Angélique’s hand on my shoulder earlier, I felt the
hot water around me now… It couldn’t be fake. What’s
worse, was the officer’s affirmation that
Anthony…er.. I.. was missing. So it wasn’t like I
just up and disappeared, my body was turned into
Eventually I got out of the tub
and pulled the plug. I dried myself off with a towel
and wrapped it around my body. I wasn’t really sure
what to do with my hair. It went a little ways past
my shoulders and I’d never had so much hair in my
life. I was used to just running my hand through it
like five times and poof, it was dry. Not sure what
to do now, I tried to dry it off with another towel,
and that worked somewhat, but didn’t get me too far.
I opened the door to the
hallway and Angélique poked her head out of the room
I’d been in down the hall when I woke up this
morning. She was changing the linens. It made me
blush a little because I knew why she needed to do
it. I trudged slowly down the hall to her, holding
my towel up.
“Blah blah blah to you too.”
Angélique rolled her eyes. She
may not have gotten the words, but she got the tone.
She plucked the towel from me. I quickly covered
myself with my hands as she went and got some
clothes from another room.
Now I felt thoroughly stupid
standing naked. Angélique came back in the room with
some clothes, girls clothes of course. Rather then
be naked I took them. I slipped on another pair of
panties, slightly big on me of course. Then a
t-shirt, also slightly big, and a pair of pants. The
pants were corduroy jeans, and lavender purple. For
some reason they seemed to fit fairly well on me. I
tucked in my shirt, but being as big as it was, it
still bagged over the edge of my pants.
I caught a look at myself in
the mirror, or rather I caught a look at Alouette in
the mirror, because as far as I was concerned, that
girl wasn’t me, it was just my temporary insanity.
Still I looked at the girl and she looked
ridiculous, just like a girl who’d borrowed her big
A phone started to ring.
Angélique left me standing and admiring the mirror,
while she went downstairs to answer it.
Badeau…? Oui, I can have her to the station. Sure,
be right there.”
Angélique came back into the
room and took my hand once more.
to the police station.”
She said something Police, so I
cheered up, thinking that maybe my ship hadn’t left
yet. Angélique led me out her front door by her hand
again. I felt a little uncomfortable being pulled
along like a child with her hand. I tried to tug
away, but she increased her grip. She didn’t want me
running off or even walking on my own I guess.
Apparently Angélique lived in a
little home just inside the borders of town. It was
a nice white brick house. Somewhere half-way up its
face they had tried to do some type of siding, but
didn’t finish the job on the lower half. At least
the entire thing was white, with a black shingle
We walked up the winding roads
that led to the center of town. The place was built
on a generally sloping hill, so that if you wanted
to get to the center of town, you were walking up
hill no matter which direction you came of.
As we neared the top of the
street, I could see Le Febure outside of town. My
mind shot back to the wine and I realized that maybe
it had a part to play in my new body.
“That’s the place!! That damn
ancient wine may have messed me up!” I said pointing
at it with my free hand. Angélique tugged me a
the vineyards… I think you drank enough vin last
night though. Try to keep away from it for a while,
your too young to drink that much anyways.”
I think she didn’t like me and
the idea of a winery. I didn’t point at it any more,
but I kept my eye on it as we continued up the hill.
We came to a police station. It
looked more like a barber shop in a row of
townhouses. We both walked up the front steps and
went into the small office.
Angélique,” said an officer behind the main
counter. He smiled and then looked at me
“Inspector Badeau will be right with you. Go ahead
and head to his office. Oh and Angélique?”
Sophie doing in school?”
“Needs work on
her mathematics, but otherwise, one of my top.”
The officer smiled at their
exchange of words and waved us to an office in the
back. We walked back and found the man who had come
by Angélique’s house earlier. There was also another
man next to him, a taller man who seemed a little
older, and getting that horseshoe baldness going.
“That boy was
located. They found him this morning at the hotel,
after having scared all his friends half to death.
Apparently he drank a little too much last night and
passed out in the wrong room at the hotel.”
“Is he still
around? I want to give him a piece of my mind, I bet
he got this poor girl drunk!”
“No, he left
already. Their tour group was already really behind
in their schedule… Why, did the girl say that the
boy did anything to her?”
The three looked at me. They
had talked a little bit and stared at me as if I had
an answer to a question never asked. The tall man
spoke up in very good English.
“My name is Inspector Vachel
Facet. How are you feeling?”
The sound of my language spoken
so well almost made me want to hug the man.
“My head hurts, but otherwise
“That’s good… Now, last night.
Did Anthony… do anything to you?”
“Do anything to me? What are
you talking about? I am Anthony!”
The tall man translated my
statement and the three of them looked at each other
hesitantly.Inspector Bedeau spoke up.
Anthony before he left this morning. He said he
didn’t see a girl last night, and
sold wine to the boy, but that when he was at Le
Febre he was alone. Fact is, no one in town has seen
an American girl of this age and she wasn’t part of
that tour group,”
“Where is she
from then? A girl this old doesn’t just walk out
this far into the country on her own? You think
maybe she took a train?” asked Inspector Facet.
They’re eyes were on me again.
Questioning me, I realized every time I said my name
was Anthony, I didn’t look very sane.
“I um… Why what happened that
would make you think. Something… happened to me?” I
asked. I was trying to get information, without
backing down and saying I wasn’t Anthony.
“Monsieur Anthony left on the
bus a half hour ago. We just wanted to make sure
that you were all right so that we didn’t have to
get the bus back here.”
My heart dropped and my stomach
flipped. “I… left? But but, how can that be?” I felt
my knees get weak, and I started to topple.
Angélique caught me before I completely hit the
“I don’t think
she’s well, she’s been like this all day,” Angélique
said. Inspector Facet plowed on.
“Where are you from Alouette?”
I let the name thing go, but
still took a few deep breaths before answering. “Lansing,
“What are you doing in
“Here to study.”
“How old are you?”
That answer didn’t bode well.
He explained to Angélique and Inspector Bedeau. They
all looked at me like I’d told a bad joke.
“How old are you really?”
“What do you mean how old am I
really? I’m 22.”
“Okay, you’re very close to
being rated clinically insane. You are not 22, you
are not a boy named Anthony. Do you want a mirror to
confirm these facts?”
The word insane carried weight
with it. I realized where this might go. I also
realized how I must look telling them the things I
was with the body I was in. I sulked my head. Time
to make a story…
“Okay fine, my name is
Alouette. I’m from
Michigan, 15-years-old, and
just woke up thinking it’d be fun to try and pull a
joke on all of you.” I tacked on as much sarcasm as
I could. Once again he translated and this time they
looked a little relieved, but also a little more
“Where is your family?”
“So you’re an orphan?”
“Sure, why not.”
“This is serious Alouette. You
do realize you’re on your own right? There’s no one
checked into any of these hotels that we haven’t
already talked to today. There’s no other American
that could plausibly be from your family.”
“Looks like I’m up sh*ts creek
I could tell he was getting a
little impatient with me, but somehow I didn’t care.
They didn’t want to believe the truth, so why not
just be an ass in spite?
“Be serious. What the hell are
you going to do?”
“Run away and join the circus.”
He looked about ready to slap
cuffs on me. He turned to Angélique.
“Did you find
any identification, any money, anything about this
girl when you picked her up?”
“I don’t think
she was wearing her own clothes. Her clothes were
kind of big and didn’t have anything in the
“You said she
was drunk too, right?”
I was really starting to
dislike my inability with the French language, it
was like I was not part of the conversation that
probably controlled a very important part of my
immediate future. The three of them turned to me
once more after they had conferred with each other.
“Where did you get wine last
night?” Inspector Facet asked me.
“Liar, I talked to Javier this
morning. He said he only sold to Anthony, and more
specifically that you weren’t with Anthony.”
“No, he sold wine to me, I can
swear my life on that.”
“Javier is godfather to my son.
He was in my grammar school with me. His word is
“Look, that’s where I got my
wine. I’ve got a wicked headache now… Okay? No one
is going to come for me, my bus left this morning,
what do you want from me?”
“I don’t know
what to do with this snobbish little American. She’s
probably some sort of gypsy liar. Just roaming
around saying whatever she can to cause trouble.”
deport her to a juvenile center in
Paris?” Inspector Bedeau
interjected. “No! She didn’t really do anything
wrong. Think about it, she’s had a rougher time of
it then you think. She’s got no one for her, and she
was reduced to lies like these, don’t you feel as
sorry for her as I do?”
you’re right, but what are we going to do with her?”
There was silence for a moment
and I got a little uncomfortable. I think they
thought I was absolutely crazy. To a point I didn’t
blame them. I felt I should act quick.
“I uh… have amnesia. It
happens… after having wine...”
Inspector Facet explained
again, the other two looked a little more concerned
now. They looked at me like this crude story was
much more digestible then me being a 22-year-old
Suddenly… I felt something bad.
My lavender corduroys began to get a little clammy.
Angélique looked on at me and her eyes bulged a
little. I looked down and found a growing wet spot
spread forth from my crotch. The two inspectors
looked on and made a face like “ah, just as I
that’s the third time since I picked her up that
she’s done that.”
Bedeau shook his head. “Poor girl… poor sick girl.”
“Would it be
okay if I just took her to live with me for a little
“I think that
might be best,” commented Inspector Bedeau.
My eyes started to water as I
suddenly felt like shrinking behind Angélique.
tells me she’s been through a lot more then she
wants to let on. Maybe she just needs a good home
for a while.”
Back during my days at the
which as Anthony, would have been only one month
ago… I used to play rugby on Saturday mornings. It
was great to beat the hell out of each other. It was
also great to laugh at any girl who was making a
walk of shame to her dorm early in the morning. Lots
of the partiers always did, and lots of us guys
Today… Today, I was the one
making such a walk. I don’t even know what to think
of it. It doesn’t even matter, I’m not really here
anyways… Anthony has left the building people. Or
more accurately, has left the body. Just call me
Angélique gently squeezed my
hand, I didn’t take much notice. I was pre-occupied
and walking a little awkward because I was trying to
hold down my baggy t-shirt over my wet corduroys.
great friends with the wash room are you? Do you
always just wet yourself like this?”
She spoke to me while squeezing
my hand again. I didn’t reply. I couldn’t understand
her, and I wasn’t in much of a mood for talk
anyways. Our little meeting with the police hadn’t
gone how I’d hoped. Instead of arguing my case as a
22-year-old man somehow transformed into a girl, I
had instead found that the man… that I… had left.
I’d also managed to solidify myself as a 15-year-old
girl in their eyes. It was backwards progress if
We went down the hill towards
Angélique’s house. About mid-street we took a quick
detour to another house. I followed along in sort of
a daze, till my mind picked up on the fact that
there would be people in the house, and that people
would look at me and see me with wet pants… and then
make a judgment.
Wouldn’t that make a great
first impression on town locals, ‘Hi, I’m the psycho
American girl who pees herself!’ I started dragging
my feet. “Don’t trot me around on display Angélique!
This is mean!”
struggling I just need some advice from Madame
Despite my struggling, and
ignoring Angélique’s inane admonishments, I was
dragged to the front door. As soon as her hand hit
the knocker, I quickly hid myself behind her. Maybe
I could just hide there and die.
A young girl answered the door;
she looked to be about my age. She had long brown
hair and wore a big baggy sweater. Behind her was an
even younger girl in a dress, she had a dolly in one
hand and her thumb in her mouth. Both of them sort
of leaned over so they could see around Angélique to
me. I tried not to make eye contact.
are you doing here? It’s Saturday. I um… don’t need
to do my homework till tomorrow since it’s not due
till Monday right?”
Papillon, and no, I’m not here to nag you about your
homework. Although, if you have it done on Monday
that would certainly be a surprise,” Angélique said.
The girl my
age blushed.“Then what are you doing here?”
speak with a little more courtesy Papillon. I’m here
to see your mom. Is she in?”
From what I could tell,
Angélique knew the older child, and in their brief
conversation so far, she hadn’t mentioned me, which
relieved me a little. The girl my age turned her
head and called out for her “Maman.”
An older lady came down the
stairs with an infant on her hip. She looked a
little raggad, but still pretty underneath the
Angélique, how nice to see you…” said Jeanne warmly.
Then her eyes shot to Papillon. “Wait, what’s
Papillon done this time?”
nothing Jeanne. I just came to speak to you.”
“Well come in,
you know your welcome to visit any time.”
“I um.. think
I better not.”
Angélique stuttered for a
moment and looked down at me. I gulped loudly
realizing that it was probably time I reveal myself
in my state of embarrassment. The lady, whom I
assumed to be the mother of these three, followed
Angélique’s eyes to me.
“Oh who’s that
Angélique? Is she a new student of yours?”
she’s an American runaway. I’m going to be taking
care of her for a while, till we can find her
“A little girl
like that? On her own? My goodness.”
um…” Angélique leaned forward and motioned for
Jeanne to come closer so she could whisper.
It was bad enough that they
were talking in French, but to have whispered stuff
to each other in French too? What is this?
Overlapping layers of security? I didn’t think it
mattered, I knew what they were talking about… hell
what they were talking about was starting to feel
cold and uncomfortable under my shirt.
three times already?”
awful? I’m not sure what to do about it.”
“Hehe so you
thought to come to me? The girl with three children
and ask advice?”
you’d know best,” Angélique said with a smile.
ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“Do you think
probably has poor potty habits. Let me pack you a
bag. I’d say…” Jeanne looked at her daughter
Papillon who was staring at her intently. Her
mother’s whispering was opening that curious intent
of hers. “Papillon go upstairs, and take your little
The girl my age frowned and
wandered off with the girl behind her. Her mother
waited till she was up the stairs and then started
talking in a quieter voice to Angélique.
would never talk to me for a year if she knew I’m
going to tell you this, but she used to wet the bed
till she was 10. I bet that’s the problem with this
girl. Just diaper her before bed and keep her in
some thicker panties during the day. Like trainers
or something… or if it’s really bad, those
disposable things at the market.”
“Here I’ll get
some of Papillon’s old stuff, I’ll be right back.”
The mother left the doorway and
went upstairs. Angélique turned around to me and
“Désolé…” she said softly. I
wasn’t really sure what she said or what to say
back. I was appreciative that she hadn’t blown my
spot to everyone, or at least she hadn’t done what I
was imagining she’d do. I felt for sure she’d step
behind me, push me forward and pull my shirt up so
their was no doubting what she was whispering about…
but then when she’d done the whispering and the
mother sent the young girl away, I realized she was
trying to help me.
The mother returned shortly
with a brown bag. It was left over from a trip to
the grocery store by the look of it. She handed it
to Angélique and we left.
We walked in silence. I wanted
to know what was in the bag, but if Angélique were
to tell me I wouldn’t understand anyway. It was a
short distance to her house and when we got in she
had me bathe again. I got some more fresh clothes,
but something odd this time, the panties she gave me
seemed a little tighter, rather then looser like the
other pair I’d worn. Also, they seemed a bit…
already lunchtime. Are you hungry?”
I stared at her blankly. She
tapped her chin with her forefinger and looked
would you like food?” she asked while rubbing her
“Oh… lunchtime. Yes, I’m
hungry,” I said nodding my head. It seemed our best
communication was cave-manish sign language. She
took me downstairs and sat me at her kitchen table.
Once again I listened to a
steady diatribe of French. It might as well have
been elevator music. Bleeb-ba-dee-blah-blah-bleee… I
mimicked her motor mouth with my hand while she had
her back to me. She was chopping something up and
probably telling me everything about herself, even
though by now, she HAD to know that I didn’t
understand any of it. Maybe she just liked to have
someone to talk to, even if they couldn’t really
properly respond back.
“So when I
turned 23 I came back here to Colgneune.
was nice, but you just can’t beat the warmth and
serenity of your hometown. Luckily, they needed
another teacher at my old catholic school. I applied
and got the position, and here I’ve been for the
last 4 years. It’s quiet, but comfortable.”
Angélique turned in time to
catch me looking boredly off into space and doing
the talking hand thing. She frowned and roughly put
a bowl of soup down in front of me. The noise of it
on the table shook me out of a trance.
“What? Sorry, I just can’t
understand you. How do you expect me to pay
Eating went by in quiet. I will
say that Angélique is a good cook. In fact, as I
sipped (more slurped) from my spoon, I took the time
to actually really look her over. Something in my
head told me I needed to look her over, but at the
same time, I didn’t really see what was that
interesting. She was pretty, but not more so then
the other lady we’d stopped to talk to earlier. She
was just, a nice girl… Not too old, like, motherhood
age I suppose.
“Why are you
staring at me?”
Her voice broke me out of yet
another trance. I nervously looked down at my soup
and went back to slurping.
“Maybe I took
on too difficult a task. It’s not going to be easy
taking care of someone who can’t understand me...”
Lunch didn’t last too long, and
afterward we were just left staring at each other.
Seems I was stuck with her, since no one believed my
story, and the law enforcement thought me a crazy
“Do you have a computer?” I
asked on a random thought.
She shook her head no… I walked
over to her phone and picked it up. Angélique looked
at me crossly and then came over to hang up the
phone for me.
I looked at her, “Can I make a
She knew what I was asking.
“Non. You’ll call some boy to come break you out so you can just hit the
road again. Don’t you think its time you turned your
I frowned and left the phone alone.
Somewhere in town there was a phone or computer I
could use. Maybe I could access my old e-mail or
something to get help from my friends. Or maybe I
could sneak out and get a phone card to call the
US? I bet if I
could reach my real parents, they’d at least listen
to me if I told them things only Anthony would know.
That would have to wait though; I didn’t have any
Angélique took my hand and led
me across the room to two chairs by the fire place.
She sat me in one and went to get a book from a
stack on her desk. She put the book in my lap and
sat down next to me. I looked at the title; it was
apparently a grammar book.
“You want me to learn French?”
Angélique nodded and opened the
book for me. She pointed at the first page, it had
the alphabet and numbers 0-9. I shrugged, why not…
this was why I came here anyway.
We got into the lesson. She
would read something, and I would try to repeat
exactly what she’d read. In this way, I was learning
some of the basic soundings of the language. Small
stuff like how “oui” which meant yes, came out as a
“we” sound. It was the first stone of the foundation
We kept at it all afternoon,
till I suddenly felt a little tickly feeling. I
flung the book from my lap, startling Angélique and
flew up the stairs. I made it to the bathroom and
slammed the door behind me. I heard her come up the
stairs a moment after me, lightly tapping at the
“Are you okay
I ignored the voice beyond the
door. By some miracle, I’d managed to make it up the
stairs to the bathroom before once more creating a
pond in my panties. Not only that, but after I’d sat
down, I was surprised to find that it wasn’t just
pee that I needed to do.
The door opened and Angélique’s
head poked through. I yelled at her for privacy, but
I couldn’t mistake the quick happiness that was
there at seeing me sitting the way I was.
“Look at you!
You can do it!” she said coming into the room.
“Shut up! Whatever you’re
saying, I don’t want to hear it!” I said trying to
wave her off.
She walked up to me and checked
my panties the way she would a preschooler. She
frowned a little to find them wet, but was still
happy that at least the majority of it was in the
toilet. I on the other hand was a little bit less
then happy. To me, it was like only predicting the
rain after it had already started. I honestly would
have probably just completely wet myself earlier if
it had not been for the fact that I felt it first
before it got too bad. Not only that, but I didn’t
even feel the need to do number 2, but as I could
tell now…I did.
Angélique turned around and at
least gave me a tiny bit of privacy in cleaning
myself up. When I flushed and was pulling my pants
back up, she wouldn’t stop with the praises, it was
thoroughly embarrassing; I knew that it was
inappropriate for her to be doing it to a girl of my
“Let me get
another pair of panties for you, those are wet.”
Angélique was holding her hand
out to stop, so I stayed with my pants up to about
my knees, frowning at whatever she wanted me to do.
She left the room and came back just as quick with
another pair of the smaller, yet thicker panties. I
didn’t complain because my other pair was wet.
Sadly, by my count, this was the fourth pair of
clean panties I was putting on today after having
wet another pair. Not a very noble record.
When I was fresh again, we went
back downstairs and called it quits on the studying.
Angélique babbled in French some more and grabbed
her purse. I wasn’t sure what she wanted but I soon
found that we were going to go out shopping. It was
just about evening now as we started walking up into
Angélique was actually being
pretty nice to me. She bought some clothes for me;
nothing too fancy, just clothes that would fit and
that I could wear. She let me choose them out, and
of course I choose out the most boyish things I
could find, but she didn’t seem to complain too
much, as long as the clothes still came from the
girl’s section of the small store. Oddly enough she
didn’t have me buy any more underwear, which to me,
was probably what I needed most, but oh well.
Fitting clothes were nice to have.
We also stopped by the grocery
store, where Angélique picked up a few things. I
found myself wandering up and down the isles till I
found a payphone towards the back of the store. I
tried to get back there to use it, but when I did… I
didn’t have any money or a calling card. Angélique
found me a few moments later and called me over to
her with a stern look on her face.
to call somebody aren’t you? Well I won’t have it.”
We went home and had dinner. It
was a simple meat and potatoes meal, but it was good
and I was glad for it. Angélique the windbag
continued her optimistic overuse of French in the
hopes I’d catch on, but I just ate and nodded
politely. After a while I even started talking to
her in the gaps of silence, hoping that maybe the
reverse would happen to her with English.
The rest of the evening went by
fairly fast. I sat in the chair by the fireplace and
browsed through some of her books. They were
textbooks of various kinds, and I could tell they
were aimed at younger audiences. So I just looked at
pictures and went page to page.
Angélique sat in the other
chair and read from a novel. She seemed pleased at
my reading the textbooks. I think her opinion of me,
was that I was just an unscrupulous trouble maker,
who probably hadn’t had any schooling… but the fact
of the matter was, when it came down to the amount
of schooling I’d had, I’d probably had a higher
education then her. Still I read till I found it
hard to read and myself yawning more and more
tired, and I can tell by your yawns that you are.
What do you say we head up to bed?”
Angélique caught me nodding
off. She piled the books on her desk again and led
me upstairs. I was tired by now, so I didn’t really
complain. Thinking a bit smartly, I went into the
bathroom before heading to my bedroom, which
Angélique was all smiles about. Unfortunately I
didn’t have to go, but the thought was there at
When I got to what I assumed
was going to be my bedroom for the time being,
Angélique was waiting with the brown paper bag from
that house we’d stopped at earlier. I raised a
cautious eyebrow at her.
please sit here, I need to talk to you.”
Angélique was patting the bed
next to where she was crouching. I slowly went and
a number on this mattress last night, I’m going to
listen to what Jeanne said and keep you in diapers
tonight. Is that okay?”
I really wanted to know what
she was saying here, it sounded important, but I
still had no idea. When she was done talking, I
nodded slowly. Angélique started to fish something
out of the bag, it was bundles of cloth. She stood
me up and pulled off my shirt and then unbuttoned my
pants and let them fall to the floor.
“New pajama’s?” I asked while
looking at the white cloth and being undressed. It
felt a little awkward to have someone undressing me,
but I didn’t really fuss about it. She slid my
panties down and patted for me to lie down on the
bed. I did so a little nervously. I wasn’t sure how
I was going to get dressed while lying down.
She took a few layers of the
cloth and started to fold it up. She lifted my legs
and in that moment, I realized what it looked like
she was doing, and then hit even harder that it
wasn’t just looking like she was doing it, she was
ACTUALLY doing it. She was putting a diaper on me.
“Now hold on!” I yelped trying
to jump up. She caught me with her hand.
this will only take a minute.”
“Don’t you dare diaper me! I’m
not a baby! The old me wasn’t! And even though this
new body is younger, it’s not a baby!”
Angélique wasn’t taking my
argument too well. She stopped for a moment and got
up. She walked across the room and opened the
laundry hamper and looked inside without touching
“That’s 1, 2,
3, 4 pairs of wet underwear. Not to mention the
sheets I put in the wash this morning!”
She was counting things off on
her hand. I blushed; I knew what she was counting.
She was making her argument against why I should be
diapered tonight. She walked back over and pushed me
to lying back down. I resisted, but let her push me
all the way down.
She slid the layers under me
and then neatly brought them up and pinned them on.
She reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of
plastic panties which she worked on over them. She
pulled me up and off the bed. I brought my arm up
and covered my chest, not really sure why, just felt
I needed too, and I looked over at myself in the
I looked stupid. Mid-teen girl
in a diaper. I was almost glad that I wasn’t a guy,
because if I was caught like this as a guy, I’d
never live it down.
Angélique brought in another
long night shirt and put it on me. She pulled back
the covers and insisted on tucking me in, just the
way a mother would. I resented it a little, even
more so because the plastic pants were a loud
tell-tale, but at the same time a part of me knew
that she was doing me a kindness. I’d probably still
be at the police station if not for her.
“What about if I wake up and
have to use the bathroom?” I asked.
She gave me the look of not
understanding. I pointed at me, and then at the
bathroom down the hall.
went before bed right? You shouldn’t need to go then
before I get you up tomorrow morning. We’re going to
get up bright and early. I always go to church on
Sundays, and I think the first step on the road to a
healthy lifestyle for you, will be going back to
“Never mind, sorry I asked,” I
said as I rolled over. I was really starting to get
fed up with even trying to get my point across.
She gently patted my head once
and left the room turning out the light. I heard the
door shut, and suddenly I was alone. The thought
sort of scared me.
For the billionth time today, I
started to cry. Now that I was actually alone, all
of my thoughts ganged up on me. I really was alone.
I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t have anyone who
believed me. I was diapered because I couldn’t
control myself. It was a horrible, rotten,
I sobbed into my pillow, till
somewhere down the way, my body gave out and went to
By: CS Fox
It started with singing. I
heard a sweet voice floating from downstairs and
steadily migrating upstairs. I groggily blinked my
eyes open in time to see Angélique come into the
“Alouette, gentille Alouette Alouette je te
plumerai… Je te plumerai la tte Je te plumerai
la tte Et la tte… et la tte Alouette,
I quickly rolled over and
flopped face down into the pillow. “Not funny
Angélique, hear me? Non… not funny,” I mumbled into
the pillow. Her spirits were high and she put her
hand on my back, playfully shaking me awake.
“Its time to
get up lil’ Alouette, the church bells will ring in
“Speak French later, let me
Angélique pulled the covers
back and they fluttered off like a parachute. I
scrunched my knees up to my chest to guard against
the sudden chill. Doing so made my diaper crinkle
loudly and I cringed as last night came up into
memory. I felt a hand being placed against my
diaper. I immediately shot forward.
“Abuse abuse!” I yelled and
looked back at Angélique.
“It’s a good
thing I listened to Jeanne. We’d have lake pee in
here if I hadn’t.”
I stared at her a little
apprehensively for a moment. She pointed at my
diapered butt. I turned over and patted at the front
of it with my hand.
“Oh jesus it’s wet,” I said
barely believing what my hand was feeling. My voice
also cracked a little with that whiney sobby tone.
She took my hand and led me to
the bathroom, starting the tub. She then left me to
my own devices. I removed my clothes and took off
the wet diaper, balling it up with the plastic pants
and leaving it in a soggy pile by the door. I got in
the tub and just floated a minute staring at the
“Alouette… who are you?” I
asked the ceiling. It hurt inside … I was already
starting to think of Anthony as a separate person… I
mean think about it, he’d left and somehow, I
hadn’t. Was someone else being Anthony? Was some
joker wearing me like a suit off in
right now? The thought was hideous.
“Alouette… who are you?” I
asked again. My mind made up other answers. Maybe a
girl had switched bodies with me. I had hers, now
she had mine. That was possible. Or maybe it was
like a bad episode of a sci-fi TV show, and I’d hit
split infinity and broken into two people. One being
the regular me, the other… being my polar opposite?
Actually scratch all that, it
all sounded insane. Under the same guidelines I
could really just be some 15-year-old girl who got
drunk so often she developed fake memories that by
chance coincided with a visiting student. In any
case, none of it mattered, what did matter was the
here and now. Right now, I am a girl. Right now, I
can’t change or ignore that. Right now I have no
friends and no one to believe me. I wanted to cry
I washed myself with the same
unfamiliar care. I was just going to take basic care
of this body, because I didn’t expect to use it very
long. This was a temporary shell for my
consciousness, and it would never take over. I
toweled off once more, with the same awkwardness of
wet hair. I found Angélique in my room laying out
clothes on the bed.
“Let’s get you
in your underclothes then work on your hair before
you try on this dress. Hopefully it fits; I used to
wear it to church when I was your age. Brings back a
lot of memories actually.”
Angélique had laid out a black
dress with white trim. I froze, what the HELL was
that doing on the bed? Didn’t I just get some new,
relatively boyish clothes yesterday?
“Wow bath not
go so well? You look mad.”
Angélique walked up to me and
took the ends of the towel to tussle my hair. I was
still not amused. She handed me an undershirt and
pair of panties, which I put on, but then she
stopped at the dress and grabbed a brush.
“I think it
might be nice if we try doing something with that
hair, rather then just letting it lay flat.”
She began brushing my hair, but
it kind of tugged my head back. I swatted her hand
“Stop that! It hurts!”
Angélique put her hands on her
hips. “You’ve probably never brushed it in your life, and somehow I doubt you
conditioned it in the bathroom, its going to be a
little rough getting out the tangles at first.”
“Leave it alone, it’ll dry and
be fine straight,” I said as I started to turn away.
Angélique grabbed my shoulder and started to try and
brush my hair as I resisted.
brush* won’t… *brush brush* take but a… *brush
“Get the hell away from my
hair!” I yelled twisting and turning as my head was
pulled back every time the brush ran through my wet
hair. Eventually she gave up and threw the brush on
“I give up,
finish your hair yourself!”
I stood with my arms crossed
and smiled. Seems I’d won a little battle and she
was going to leave my hair be. She moved to get the
dress, my smile fled. *Ding* round two.
“No! Non! Not wearing a dress!”
I made a break for the door once again, but her hand
was like that of a cat on a running mouse.
“Stop it! Must
you resist everything I try to do for you? What’s
wrong with this dress? Why do you hate dressing up
like a girl so much?”
“Non non! Leave me alone!”
Angélique let out a controlled
scream and stormed out of my room, slamming the door
“That was completely unfair!” I
said aloud to myself. “Why couldn’t I be the one to
leave?” I went over and plopped down on the bed.
I sat grumpy for a little
while. Angélique was being so pushy. Take a bath.
Comb your hair. Wear a dress. What the hell was she
trying to do, train me to be a girl? What would I do
afterwards, get some practice with her on making
curtsies? I laid down staring up at the ceiling once
again. I noticed the dress was lying next to me. I
pushed it on the floor.
After I’d calmed down I went
out of my room to find Angélique. She was in her
room, with the door cracked open a little. I’d never
seen her room, so I approached the door quietly.
Her room was very rustic
looking and filled with wooden, antique looking
furniture. She had a large bed with four tall bed
posts and a canopy. In one corner was a make-up
table with oval mirror, she was seated in front of
it doing her own hair. She saw me peering at her
from the crack of the door in the reflection of the
She didn’t turn to me,
you want; I don’t care how you look. You’re going to
church in that underwear if that’s how it has to
She sounded angry. Angry, and
also a little hurt at the same time. I left her to
finish with her hair. I wandered back into my room,
feeling a little guilty. She was really mad. All
because I was making anything she wanted to do for
me a chore.
I reviewed everything that had
happened. She wanted me to take a bath, which was
because I’d had a wet diaper (which was probably
still lying on the bathroom floor). Then she’d
wanted to brush my hair. I looked over in the
mirror… it was a mess, so maybe that wasn’t uncalled
for either. But… she had also wanted me to wear a
I looked at the black dress
lying in a pile on the floor and picked it up. “Only
a girl would wear such a thing…” I said coldly.
My own use of the word “girl”
rang in my ears. I looked at the dress again and
then stepped over to the mirror. Staring at me was a
blonde haired GIRL, her hair was a bit tangled,
still not quite dry… her green uncertain eyes,
always looking at themselves as if not to trust what
they saw. There was no doubt; there was a girl in
the mirror, at least by physical appearance. There
may be a boy inside, but there was a girl outside.
That’s what Angélique had to go on. She still didn’t
believe or have the remotest thought that I was a
boy, so she was trying to do what she could to take
care of a girl… because that’s what she thought me
Maybe I was being unfair to
Angélique. I could see why she was angry now. She
understood that I didn’t usually do these things,
and that I needed help to get them done, and she
wanted to help. I of course, finding them offensive
and like a little stab at my male integrity, shoved
them rudely back in her face.
I let out a deep sigh and went
back to the bed. I sat down and picked up the brush,
and tried brushing out my hair.
By: CS Fox
“I’m ready…” I said looking
through the crack in Angélique’s door. She was
pulling up her hose and stepping into a nice pair of
shoes. Hearing my voice she looked up at me and her
eyes just lit up.
gorgeous!” she said with a huge smile. She waved
me into the room and clasped her hands together.
I walked into the room feeling
a little stupid. I was wearing a foofy, girly,
uncomfortable dress; but at least it set Angélique
abuzz with happy sounds. Her voice was just about in
song again as she came up to primp and finish out
the last few details I’d missed. I was happy that I
had at least relinquished her anger.
Alouette. I really appreciate what you’ve done. I’m
sorry I was mad earlier, but I’ve decided if I’m
going to care for you, I’m going to do it like I
teach my classes. I’ll be your teacher first, and
your friend later.”
I heard “merci” coupled with my
name. There was also another long thread of speech
with it, but I think they were just more praises
that I’d given in and done what she’d asked.
All smiles now, Angélique went
to a drawer and got out a white ribbon. She came to
me and started to play with my hair. I stifled back
the urge to bolt and let her do what she wanted.
I’ve come this far, might as well let her have her
day. Taking a handful of hair from the right side of
my head, and then another from the left side, she
started to braid it together; she left the good
majority of the hair in the middle going straight
down my back. In the end, I had my hair braided into
a pony tail, on top of straight hair in the back,
with a white ribbon on the end. The overall process
wasn’t too horrible, but I still felt a little more
girly then I would have cared too.
Angélique said with a smile. She finished getting
ready just as church bells began to ring somewhere
in the town.
“We’re going to church?” I said
a little curiously. The clothes and preparations
suddenly made a lot more sense now. Angélique didn’t
answer my question, probably because she couldn’t
understand it, but it didn’t matter, I knew the
answer. It had been a long time since I’d been to
church. My family is a Christmas and Easter family
as far as church is concerned.
As for me personally, I guess
you could say I’m spiritual. I was raised being read
the bible by my grandma, but you could probably only
say I’ve taken it half to heart. Still church would
be interesting. It would be like my debut upon the
Oren’s bells. Let’s be on our way.”
Once again my hand was grabbed
and off we went; down the stairs and out the door
and into the little town once more (yay, it rhymes).
The church was on the east side
of town. We weaved around the lower hill, having
only to walk about four blocks once we were actually
in the town. From the looks of things, everyone went
to church on Sunday. Families and neighbors were all
in their best and on their way to where they had
heard the bells calling. Angélique said “bonjour” to
half a dozen people about every block we passed and
answered what I assumed to be inquiries about me.
Angélique? One of your students?”
Allouette, an American girl who will be staying with
me for a while.”
she look pretty!”
doesn’t really… walk like a girl.”
just how American’s walk. Don’t make fun.”
The church was very pretty. I
realized I’d passed it my first day here. It was
next to the little catholic school, and looked about
as old as that accursed winery. Its stone structure
and large double doors were inviting all to come in,
including a little stranger like me.
Angélique led me in, saying a
bunch more “bonjours” mixed in with polite gossip,
and a nod to one of the priory standing at the door.
I did my best to keep my eyes on the floor, and
avoid everyone’s questioning gaze. Apparently a new
face in a close-nit church was cause for stares.
Taking a moment to sit and
brush the damn foofy dress flat, I noticed that I
wasn’t the only one my age. There were at least ten
or fifteen boys and girls about my age. I could even
see that girl whose house we’d stopped by the other
day. She was sitting with her mother and father, and
also the two other children of her family.
Further down the rows, I could
see Inspector Facet, who shot me a mean smirk. I
stuck my tongue out at him and he mouthed the words
in English “that’s a nice dress” to which I was
about to flick him off, but Angélique caught my hand
before I could do it and gave it a gentle slap. A
few more rings of the bells and the organ started to
play. The chatter of the congregation died down and
everyone started to fish out the hymnals from the
Now if you’ve ever been to a
foreign movie with no subtitles, then you’ve had an
experience like I have at St. Oren’s. The pastor was
very animated and proceeded to shout fire and
brimstone in that French eloquence that I have no
Boredom gripped me in less then
ten minutes. As a rule, I’ve always considered
myself to have a mild case of attention deficit
disorder. All the way since elementary school, I’ve
found my mind wanders away from just about
everything that doesn’t have a TV or computer screen
attached to it. Sightseeing didn’t count, because
there was the novelty of something new attached to
that, but as far as church went, there was nothing
new about this church, only the language selected
for its sermon.
I got to fidgeting, which
didn’t please Angélique. I switched gears to just
flipping through the hymnals and prayer books,
hoping for something interesting. In the back of the
prayer books they had some pictures, so I amused
myself a little while looking at them and making up
a story to go along with them. I’d share them here,
but most of them were fairly blasphemous, so it’s
probably better left undone.
The sermon dragged on for the
better part of an hour. Then everyone was on their
feet, and singing in high volume; followed by
offering, sacrament and communion, second offering
and finally, more singing. I went through the
motions, and even started to sing along to “Ave
Maria” which was played during second offering. I
knew a little bit of Latin, and that song was
obviously the same in the
as it was here, so I got by with that tiny piece of
vocal familiarity. The only problem was that my
singing voice was not familiar, although, I must say
with a blush, I can sing rather well now.
After church we lined up in
wait to meet the pastor. It seemed the whole town
gleefully got in line to shake his hand and say
hello. Angélique of course, was in no rush so we
were towards the back of the line. I really wanted
to be in a rush, but I didn’t know what I needed to
rush for. I really didn’t have anything to do,
except try and find out some very important
questions that I had no idea how to start answering.
you bring a new face to my flock?” Father Salade
Alouette, Father. She is from
America, and going
to be with me for a little while.”
Angélique was talking to the
pastor, and after saying my name, he extended his
hand to me. I shook it a little nervously tried not
to look into his eyes very much, but he seemed like
a nice enough individual. I gave him a weak “hello.”
“Ah, so this
is the girl that Inspector Facet and Bedeau had
mentioned. You know, that’s an awfully nice thing
you’re doing for her.”
father. I couldn’t help it really. Her story just
broke my heart.”
“I don’t know
it really. I found her drunk in the ditch in the
back road behind town. She can’t speak French, and
everything she said in English seemed to be nothing
but lies to try and confuse us. Truth be told, I
think she’s been a runaway for a few years now, and
it just made me sad to think how long she’s been
living on the streets.”
“You have a
heart of gold Angélique, and everyone will smile at
you for it. Bless you child.”
The pastor and Angélique
exchanged pleasantries for a while, and
occasionally, the pastor would look down at me with
this horrible expression. He looked like he wanted
to say “Oh you poor pathetic thing.” It made me feel
rotten, because somehow I think my story was
starting to get around, and from what I’d gathered,
it read something like “Young runaway, drinks a lot,
winds up in ditch… pees herself.” That last part I’m
not sure if everyone knew, because I think up to now
it hadn’t happened publicly, which I was hoping to
keep that way. Still, it felt miserable to be the
outsider, and even worse to be the pitiable one.
We left the church and started
walking back towards Angélique’s house. I wasn’t
really sure what the rest of the afternoon held,
probably some French lessons. Angélique seemed in
high spirits, like her big day on the town had gone
well. I think more like she was happy I didn’t cause
a scene like I’d done everywhere else.
As if on cue, I froze.
Angélique stopped walking as she felt my hand tug at
hers from the stop of momentum. A small trail of
liquid rain down my leg and pooled around my shoes
on the cobblestone, staining my socks as it traveled
It wasn’t a lot, but it was
enough to start the waterworks in my eyes. Angélique
had a rising look of anger in hers, until she saw
the tears forming. She quickly bent down and her
face changed to a serene look of care and concern.
Alouette, you really can’t help it can you?”
She was giving me that same
pity look the pastor had.
let’s get you home quick.”
We hurried home a little
faster. It was almost routine now what we did. She
had me take off the wet things, and then hop in the
tub. When I was out, I came back to the room, and
Angélique had a few more of the cloth diapers lying
on the bed.
“NON!” I shouted when I saw
them. Angélique looked at me a little torn.
“I knew this
would be a delicate situation. It was like this last
“I’m not wearing. No. Non.”
Angélique pointed at the
laundry bin again. I shrugged. “So what? I’d rather
make mountains of laundry then wear a diaper all
Angélique could see the
frustration written on my face.
“I’d be upset
if I were you too. I know you can’t control it, but
it’s just easier this way. I was hopeful last night
when you made it to the bathroom, but you’re just
going to have to deal with this till I can help you
She patted the bed next to her.
I didn’t budge. I could tell by her voice she wanted
to reason with me, but I was beyond reason. She’d
gotten me in a dress earlier, she should be happy
with that. She came over and grabbed my hand. I
resisted, but only half heartedly. My towel was
starting to fall off, so I used my free hand to grab
at that while still resisting her grip on my hand.
“Non… I don’t want too….” I
said softly. It was hard because I knew that I
probably should be wearing them. With the exception
of that one time, it seemed like I just wet whenever
my body felt like. Angélique lifted me by the waist
and laid me down on the bed. I started to cry
softly, but gave up resisting.
okay Alouette… This will just be a temporary
I imagine her words would be
much more comforting if I could understand them. I
laid there like a whimpering puppy, as she powered
and diapered me. My will was broken now, on top of
being a girl, I’d have to accept the fact that this
girl was not well potty trained.
The plastic pants came up, and
she handed me a training bra which we had bought
yesterday. I got off the bed and stood up. I knew
the mirror was in the corner, but I dared not turn
to it, I didn’t even want to know what I looked
like. Angélique handed me a pair of Khaki pants we’d
also bought yesterday; I took them and tried to put
them on, but they wouldn’t come on over the diapers.
My tears refreshed anew as I tried to pull the pants
on in frustration.
Angélique smiled that pity
smile and kneeled down to hug me. I just broke down
from there. It came out in rivers and heaves, my
whole body shaking. I cried because I was a girl, I
cried because I wasn’t supposed to be a girl. I
cried because I was in diapers, and I cried because
now I wouldn’t be able to hide it.
nono don’t cry. We’ll think of something.”
She waited till I was done,
then went back down the hall and came out with a
sundress. It was light-blue and very plain. She
helped get it over my head and it fell over my hips,
and extended slightly with the extra padding I was
wearing. It came down to about my shins, so I was a
little happier that I could perhaps hide this
secret, even if it had to be done by a dress.
The day’s agenda seemed to be
chores. For staying with her, she put me to work.
First she made me brunch, since it was about
mid-morning. Then she set me up with laundry, which,
to be fair, was almost totally mine anyway. The
machine was your every day standard and she asked
some French question about it, I waved her off,
saying I knew how to do laundry, but being as she
didn’t trust anything about me, she did a mock
process for the first load and watched me start on
the actual one.
With laundry getting done, she
had me start dusting some of the house. I felt like
a little maid, but did the chores without saying
anything. It didn’t take too long anyways, but when
I’d finished that, it was to the French books.
Angélique and I had gotten some
of the basics down. We had developed an
understanding of hand gestures and oui and non for
most things. I’d also learned important phrases like
“Excusez-moi, je suis americain,” which was “pardon
me, I’m American.” Angélique hoped I could use it as
an umbrella excuse for everything, including my bad
manners, boyish behavior and nervous fidgeting
related to my diaper (the main things she saw wrong
After starting another load of
laundry, Angélique wanted us to go somewhere. Being
dressed and crinkling as I was, I didn’t like the
idea of leaving the house. I dragged my feet and
gave every impression I could that I wanted to stay,
but I got the strong message that she did not intend
to leave me alone to somehow get into more trouble.
We left the house, with me
being as careful when I walked as if I knew the
street was mined. If I walked with my legs just wide
enough, the plastic panties didn’t seem to make as
much noise since they didn’t bunch together. The
drawback was, that my waddle made me look even more
ridiculous then I probably already did.
We came back to the little
grocer, and Angélique brought me to the pharmacy
section. I was immediately unhappy we were there.
She got two packages of the largest size training
pants and baby diapers should could. My body was
small enough they’d probably fit, and even though
the packages were full of French writing, you can’t
mistake the image on the front of a smiling toddler.
I started fussing and complaining, till I noticed an
older lady take attention to the commotion. I shut
up because it was obvious who they would be for.
Angélique didn’t drag out our
purchase, and I thanked my lucky stars the items fit
into a large brown paper bag, so you couldn’t tell
what she was carrying. As soon as we were out of the
shop, she had me carry the bag. I promptly threw it
down on the street when she gave it to me. She
looked at me sternly for a moment and then picked up
the bag and carried it herself.
“You know, I
got these for you. They’ll be thin enough for you to
wear them under normal pants. These pull-ups
shouldn’t be any different then regular panties as
far as you’re concerned. The diapers will cut back
on your laundry too after your apparent nightly
I didn’t dignify her comments
with a response; I just started walking back towards
her house, in my proud, stupid, waddle. She sighed
behind me and started to follow after she’d picked
up the bag.
As we were heading back to her
house, a gang of kids came up. They saw me and
looked on with interest. My joints paralyzed.
Angélique saw them and smiled and waved with her
“Bonjour!” She said excitedly.
The gang sort of slinked away. They were all boys,
roughly my age. One had a soccer ball and carried it
under an arm. The gang kept leaving except for two
boys who just stayed, staring at me.
“Who is that
teacher Marcel, use better etiquette. Call me
teacher or mademoiselle.”
“Who is that
girl… teacher?” asked Marcel. His brother Gérard
smirked at his defiance.
related to you?”
and staying with me.”
“Will she be
in our class?”
paused for a moment. The thought hadn’t occurred to
her. Why not, what else would she do the five days
of the week she’d be teaching her classes? “Oui, she
will be in your class. She’s a year older then you,
she’s 15, like your brother.”
The two boys looked at each
other, then at me again. Some of their gang had
wandered back to see what the hold-up was.
“I don’t like
her, don’t sit her near me.”
“That’s not very nice, you don’t even know her
Marcel. And I’d advise you to stop giving me orders…
or you may just find yourself sitting next to her
do you play sports at all?” asked Gérard. He was
usually Marcel’s handyman… funny how the younger was
One of the boys was talking to
me. He looked at me and said my name coupled with a
few things. I didn’t really know what he was saying
so I just nodded.
speaks English Gérard. She can’t understand me
nodding like she can.”
One of the gang behind them
rolled the soccer ball my way. I think they were
gauging me up for a game or something. I smiled
ruefully and started to move, but heard the crinkle
crinkle under my dress. I slowed down and stutter
stepped causing some of the boys to giggle.
Hearing their giggle only
poured some fuel on the fire and I lined my foot up
perfectly with the ball, attacking it from an angle.
I’d spent a few years playing pick-up games, true my
sports were rugby and baseball, but that doesn’t
mean I can’t handle a soccer ball.
Like a white/black round
rocket, the ball shot right into Gérard’s face. He
started to duck, but didn’t quite react in time and
the ball glanced him on the right side of the face.
I smiled, and Angélique laughed a little.
pretty good Alouette,” Angélique said.
I could tell some of the other
boys were impressed, but not the two that had stayed
behind to talk. They sneared at me and the taller
one who had questioned me ordered them all to move
along. They did so with reluctance and Angélique and
I left on our way. I was happy our encounter hadn’t
turned to exposure, and that I was able to at least
display a little of my lost manliness in front of
She chatted right along till we
got to our house. I think she was impressed with my
athletic display and maybe had put me a notch higher
in her book (so now I was one rung above
We got the finished laundry and
I folded it. Angélique got on the phone and made a
phone call to someone and kept saying my name which
worried me a little.
girl I brought to church today. I’d like to enroll
her in my class. Alouette only speaks English, which
may be a bit of a problem, but I’m tutoring her
every day, I think she’ll pick up the language quick
since she’s in a sink or swim situation as it is… Uh
huh, I’ll just get her to change into one of the
uniforms when we get to school tomorrow morning…
thanks for allowing her in.”
Angélique hung up the phone and
looked at me with a smile. I raised an eyebrow
“Okay, why are you smiling? Did
you just order really girly clothes for me or
something?” I asked. She didn’t answer and walked by
playfully patting me on the head. I shrugged and
finished folding laundry.
It was well on into the
afternoon by now. Angélique hadgone to her books, and I had gotten to
memorizing the numbers.
“Un, duex, trios, quatre, cinq,
six, sept, huit…” My voice trailed off to a whisper.
I felt my diaper growing warm. The sudden quiet got
Angélique to look up from her book. I bit my lower
lip, getting a bit nervous and not really sure what
Angélique noticed my change in
demeanor. She got up and came to my chair. I sat
still biting my lip.
“The only time
you get that quiet…”
She started to reach down for
my dress but I brought my hand out and stopped her.
I didn’t say anything; I just put the book down and
nodded. I started walking up the stairs feeling a
little defeated with myself. Angélique came up a
moment later.I waited awkwardly by the bed.
“How do you want to do this?” I
asked as she came in with the brown bag from the
store. She quietly patted the bed, and I laid down.
She got out the package of pull-ups and tore the
top, taking one out. She then took down the plastic
panties and undid my diaper. In the package she’d
also gotten some baby wipes and things and she took
one of those out.
There was a pause of hesitation
and an awkward moment between us. I think it was
more for her then me, because of what she was doing.
I didn’t much care, because I considered anything
below my waist foreign territory to me that I really
had no intention of exploring anyway.
She wiped me up and then helped
me slide into a pair of the pull-ups. When I had
them on, I really must admit, they were a lot better
then the bulky cloth diaper. Felt much more like
regular panties… I mean underwear… geeze, got me
thinking they’re panties now.
With these new pull-ups I got
out the pair of khakis I hadn’t been able to wear
earlier. I pulled them on with ease and felt a
little better now. Angélique smiled.
“And you threw
them down when I asked you to carry them.”
I realized she must have
been commenting about my reaction earlier. I looked
meekly at her… “Merci.”
She smiled again and tussled my
hair. “It’s a good thing I got them. I can’t imagine how embarrassed you’d be
if you had to wear those cloth diapers to class
Angélique kept talking, and I
listened but didn’t understand. I went over to the
dresser and found one of the t-shirts we’d bought.
It was just a plain white t-shirt with a nike logo
on it. I put it on and felt much less like a girl. I
did notice however that the pull-up came up a little
high, and was a bit obvious if my shirt rode up. I
hoped that wouldn’t be much of a problem sense we
didn’t seem to leave the house much anyway. I was
kind of glad that Angélique seemed to be a homebody.
We went downstairs and she
started on dinner while I got back to my French. She
made a game of naming off every item that went into
our dish. She’d say it, show it to me, and I’d
repeat it. After a while she’d just say “ha” and
hold something up, like a little visual quiz, I’d
repeat it (if I knew it). We did this till dinner
was ready and I was more then ready to eat.
By: CS Fox
“Ow! Hey what was that for?”
Angélique frowned and pointed
with her fork at mine.
“What, I’m eating! I’m not
allowed to eat?”
Angélique pointed at herself
and then took a knife and daintily cut a small piece
of beef and then skewered it with her fork before
eating it. I waited patiently till she was done,
then did the same, only making my portion a little
larger. Angélique groaned. I cut that portion in
half. Another groan… I angrily cut it in half once
again. No groan this time. I wolfed the piece down.
“You eat like
a pig? Do you understand this? Oink oink. Pig!”
Apparently my hunger was a crime here. I dropped
the fork and grabbed the meat in my hand and took a
bite out of it like a chicken leg. “Oink” I said
keeping my eyes locked with hers. She sneered and
cut up her piece the same way she had before. I put
down the beef, wiped my hand on a napkin and ate the
same way I had before with my slightly larger
chunks. I’d made my point; I’ll eat how I want.
The remainder of dinner was
held in silence. The only noise came from my chewing
as noisily as I could. It put Angélique in a
brooding mood, so I decided not to taunt her
further. When we were done, my conscience got the
better of me and I felt a little guilty so I was
kind enough to bring my plate up to the sink and do
To make up for lost ground,
Angélique made up for any dinner frustrations with
my language lessons. We began with an emphasis on
assigning masculine and feminine tags to French
words. She was drilling relentlessly because I
didn’t comprehend it all. To me it’s ridiculous to
assign gender to an inanimate object. I mean why
refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when
neither one looked any more female or male then the
After a solid hour, Angélique
wandered upstairs rubbing her temples and looking
like I’d just put her through slow torture. It
seemed like there were two levels of feeling towards
me. Either she was mad and frustrated, or she was
worried and pitying. I heard the bathroom door shut.
The noise of the door echoed in my head a bit. I sat
looking at the books a little longer till something
dawned on me. I was alone. For the first time since
I’d woken up in Angélique’s house, I was under no
supervision… My eyes shot to the door and found it
I put down the books nervously,
and tip toed to the door. I knew that Angélique
would go nuts if she knew I was going to do exactly
what she didn’t want me to, but so what, she
wouldn’t believe my case, so I was going to prove
it. There was bound to be some evidence left on that
I left the house and started to
run. My shoes weren’t much of a help, so I kicked
them off in Angélique’s front path and ran barefoot.
I had a decent grasp of the town now. I knew if I
followed the road to the main hill, I could take the
split and run out the back of town to that vineyard.
The last thing I remember in my male life was
walking from that horrid place and then, well you
know what happened after that.
Could you come up here?” Angélique asked. There was
no answer. “Alouette?” she asked again a little
louder. She began to feel a small twitch in the pit
of her stomach, like the absence of reply was
signaling something wrong. She went downstairs a
little faster then usual, and found no one in the
living room. Angélique ran for the phone.
I rounded the split street in a
rush. I knew it wouldn’t take long for Angélique to
realize my absence and figured she’d react as rashly
as she did with everything. It was kind of dark now,
and there really was not a lot of activity. A lot of
the houses had their lights on, and I could even
make out some music from one place, but there wasn’t
much in the way of people or cars milling about.
I made it to the outskirts of
town, and the streetlamps got farther and farther
apart and then not at all. I knew I was close. I
could make out the vague impression of the vineyard
on the skyline. I stopped my jog and started to root
through the side of the road. I’d had a good amount
of stuff with me when I was a guy; I’d had a
backpack and my books which I’d dropped, and my
clothes and hat. Some of it had to be around here
I eased my way down into the
ditch and started to root around in the dim light.
It wasn’t impossible to see, but it wasn’t easy to
make anything out either.
“Is there nothing here?” I
asked after I’d rooted around for a little bit. I
felt sure I’d find something of mine. Some little
scrap of who I’d been. I climbed up and out of the
ditch. Still no sign of a book or paper, then my
foot connected with something. I reached down and
picked up something glass.
My eyes widened when I realized
what it was. It was the bottle. I’d found proof. I
climbed my way back over to the road and started
walking back to town. I had something, something
that proved it wasn’t all a dream. It was an
essential piece to my mental stability. Just as I
was nearing the main part of town, there was a
sudden blip blip followed by some colorful lights.
“Oh crap the po’po’s!” I
bolted. I didn’t have to stop to think, I knew they
were after me. The car sped up a little, so I moved
to the sidewalk, in the hopes the damn thing
wouldn’t run me over. I turned at the main
intersection again and passed a couple standing on
the sidewalk. They looked at me a bit oddly as the
police car rounded the corner too. It sped up on the
straight and stopped a half block ahead of me.
Inspecter Facet stepped out of the car, and
Inspector Bedeau got out on the other side. I
skidded to a halt. They both looked a little
comical. Their car was kind of a hatchback and
seeing chunky Bedeau and tall/skinny Facet get out
of it… I might as well have been chased down by a
Laurel and Hardy movie.
“Little runaway, do you want to
go to a juvenile hall?” Inspector Facet asked
coldly. I stood still, but did my best to look
“What iz zee meaning of zis?
You so ungrateful to Angélique!” chimed in Bedeau in
his accent. Still I held my ground. The two started
to approach me.
“I’m not running away! I just
needed to find answers!” I yelled as the two came at
“Answers to what? Have you been
drinking? Cause if that’s what I think it is under
your arm, then we’ve got a problem.”
I tucked the bottle a little
closer to my body and started walking around them in
a circle. Bedeau moved to block me in his heavy
wobble walk. The two began to advance on me again.
It wasn’t really threatening, more like the way
someone would approach a dog they intend to collar.
I backed up and brought the bottle close to my
“Look at her…
she’s holding that bottle like a teddy bear,”
chuckled Inspector Facet.
said she was drunk when she found her. I didn’t
really believe it cause of how young she is, but
now… jeeze, she’s an addict.”
I held the bottle as close as I
could. Any tighter and I would have broken it. It
was the only proof I had right now, the only proof
that confirmed what my mind knew, but no eyes
believed. I noticed the lights and commotion were
starting to attract attention. The eyes and faces of
the locals were peering through blinds and curtains
of nearby houses. I gulped loudly as the two men
stopped in front of me. I felt my pull-up get warm.
heard a car roll up outside. She rushed to the
window and saw the multi-colored lights filling the
night. There was a knock at the door.
“We picked up
a little runaway…” Inspector Facet said with a
grim smile. Bedeau marched me into Angélique’s
house. She was waiting in the living room, looking
at me strangely. I couldn’t get an emotional read
from her; her face wasn’t displaying anything at
all. It scared me worse then if she had been really
I was quick to blurt out. “I
wasn’t running away… I just needed to look at
something.” Her expression remained unchanged, she
looked to Facet.
“What did she
needed a drink,” Facet answered.Angélique nodded, and Bedeau gave him an odd
look, but didn’t follow it up with a comment. Facet
“Maybe I should make this
clear… This is for your own good. Angélique here is
doing this out of the kindness of her heart. She
didn’t have to take you in… If you run away again, I
will send you to a juvenile hall.”
I nodded meekly, his tone was
so serious it could probably cut me.
“The girls at juvenile halls
don’t mess around. How do you think they’ll like an
American girl who wets herself and claims some of
the things you claim?”
I cringed, for being a jerk,
what he said made sense.
“So why don’t you ‘Play Ball’
as you American’s say? It will be better for you I
Again, I nodded meekly. The two
inspectors looked at me a little angrily, then at
Angélique with a little bit of pity. Inspector Facet
flashed out my bottle of wine, and without thinking
I made a grab for it, but he jerked it away with a
sneer before turning to walk out. I was about to
make chase, but Angélique grabbed my shoulder. When
they were gone she went up and shut the door. Her
emotions still hadn’t surfaced. She calmly walked
back to me and slapped me across the face.
My eyes started watering before
I even knew what happened. My hand slowly went up to
my cheek, feeling the warmth of the slap there.
“You ran away
to drink? You retched retched girl… I’ve got half a
mind to send you off wherever Inspector Facet was
talking about. You have done absolutely nothing but
throw any help I give you right back in my face!”
Her face had plenty of emotion
now. She was pissed, and I guess she had every right
to be. I held my hand to my cheek, feeling a tear
roll down it. I couldn’t understand her words, but
there’s still something about raw feelings conveyed
through tones. The moment I’d run out of her house,
without saying why, I stepped over a line with her.
don’t care! You don’t care at all! You don’t care
that I’m trying to help you, or that you could find
yourself in a really scary place, alone. The only
thing you seem to care about is damn vin!”
I heard vin emphasized at the
end of her sentence. She thought this was about the
wine. She made a dramatic motion at the door and
then threw her hands up in the air. I think her
meaning was something to the effect of… Leave again
and you’re on your own. Angélique went upstairs. I
stood with hand to cheek, and sobbed a little
softly. In trouble with the police, in trouble at
home… things weren’t going well.
I went upstairs when I’d
calmed. It was getting late and I knew I should
probably go to bed. Angélique was in her room, door
wide open. She watched me go by in silence while
sitting on her bed. I went into my room and just
laid down on mine, once again looking to my friend
“You’ve done it this time. Now
no one trusts you and your one step from no one
wanting you either…” I said to myself. The thought
brought fresh tears.
The noise of a paper bag
brought me back to reality. Angélique came into the
room with the bag from earlier. She grabbed a few
things from it and came up to me.
“I’m so mad.
I’ve never been this mad before.”
She was still mad, I could hear
it in her voice.
“Why did you
run? Do you hate my care that much? Do you need to
drink that bad?”
She started to remove my pants
as she talked in a raised voice. I didn’t do
anything to hamper her and moved my hips to help a
little. I knew now was not the time to be difficult.
pull-up is soaked too… guess I should have expected
that. I don’t even think you need them, so far you
haven’t done anything but pee everything.”
She tore off the sides of my
pull-up. I knew it was wet. She took out a wet wipe
and ran it over me a little before getting out a
disposable diaper and unfolding it to lay under me.
I felt juvenile of course, and a part of me wanted
to protest, but I stayed mum.
She sprinkled a little powder
on me, then brought the diaper up between my legs
and tapped it in place. I laid there wondering what
next, but to my surprise she took the bag and left
the room, closing the door a little harshly.
I felt pretty bad again. It
seemed like I couldn’t do anything right in this
body, and searching for my real body only led to
more trouble. Tears leapt from my eyes, I wasn’t
even crying anymore, it just seemed like my eyes
began to water every time I reflected on the current
state of things. I got up and went over to the
dresser. I removed my shirt and bra, since they were
the only things I had on besides the diaper, and
pulled on an oversized night shirt. I walked back
over to my bed and crawled in.
The emotional and physical
strain on me today had worn me out completely… but
somehow I couldn’t sleep. Try as I might, I couldn’t
force myself to clear my mind and go to sleep. I
laid there and in my mind watched Angélique yell at
me over and over, like I was the dog who had done
one bad thing to many. Why did I have to go look for
that damn bottle? Was my proving her wrong worth the
risk of losing everything?
My throat got dry and my nose
runny after laying down so long crying and not being
able to sleep. Groggily I got up to go get a drink
from downstairs. It was dark and probably the middle
of the night by now. I didn’t make any noise as I
softly tip toed downstairs to the kitchen. I
couldn’t see anything because it was so dark, but I
did find the fridge and when I opened it, the little
light was enough to go by.
Her fridge was filled with
various things you’d expect to see from a girl who
cooked healthy. She had some carrot juice on the top
shelf, but that really didn’t look appetizing. I was
kind of in the mood for a soda, since all the crying
had made my throat hurt a little.
I moved things around a little
and found a bright bottle in the back. The text on
the label was French and none of the words on it
looked much like easily translatable English words.I’d say it was a liquor bottle, but it looked
too much like a glass coca-cola bottle to be one. I
picked it up. The stuff inside was green and fizzy
and the front had some long sentences on it circling
a picture of a green fairy. It looked like soda…
I fished around for a cup and
poured a little out. I tried to sniff at it, but my
nose was runny from crying. I took a good sip, and
immediately spit it out into the sink, spraying the
counter a little. Definitely liquor, hard liquor..
really really hard liquor. What the hell was
Angélique doing with this stuff?
I quickly capped the bottle and
turned on the faucet to get a drink, screw the soda.
I decided I better hide the fact I’d tried it, or
Angélique would have even more bad evidence against
me. I started to head back up stairs, feeling a
little dizzy. At the very least, I could tell even
the sip of that stuff was going to help me sleep. I
crawled in under the covers and curled up to my
pillow. My eyes were heavy now, and it didn’t take
much effort to close them.
“Hey girlie,” Anthony said to
me. My eyes shot open and I saw myself… the male
version of myself, seated at a round table with two
shadows. He was shuffling a deck of cards.
I hesitantly got out of bed and
walked over to him. He began to deal out the cards
to the shadows and I stood behind him, looking at
“I’m you… right?” I asked a
“You tell me diaper girl… You
don’t look much like me.”
“You’re not even looking at
me,” I commented. It’s true he was just looking at
his cards and watching the shadows as they sorted
“I don’t need to look at you. I
heard you crinkling a mile away. Stupid baby.”
“I’m not a baby, I’m you. It
doesn’t matter what you say, because I know I’m
“You can believe whatever you
want to believe. As for me,” He turned around and
looked into my eyes. It was a hard nostalgic
feeling; those were my own real eyes looking into
me. “I’m going to believe what I see right now… and
what I see, is a blonde babe in a diaper.”
I really wanted to hit myself.
I wanted to tell me I was a jerk, but all that
happened instead was I cried. It seemed like my only
defense now. Anthony smirked and turned back to his
“Poor little girl… Least you
have someone to take care of you now. Why don’t you
go off and enjoy that for a while.”
I looked up through blurry
tears and found he was gone; the table of cards was
gone with him. I was in a new room; it was pink and
white, and infantile. It was a nursery. Angélique
walked up to me.
“Oh there there little
Aluoette,” she said in unaccented English. Her voice
was very sweet and very calm. It slowed my tears.
“Why are you crying?”
“I… don’t want to be a baby. I
want to be who I used to be.”
“Oh nonsense, you are who
you’ve always been. Here let me help you up.” She
gave me a hand and pulled me to my feet. I was still
in my long night shirt with a diaper underneath.
“Where are we?”
“We’re in the nursery of
course. It’s the room for little kids under three
“But why am I in here? I’m not
She patted my diapered behind.
“It’s the only room with a changing table, so for
now, you’re an honorary three year old.”
“But I’m not three?”
“I’m not three!”
A hand was gently shaking me
awake. I bolted upright in bed, panting. Angélique
was there and had her hand on my shoulder.
having a nightmare. I could hear you all the way
from my room.”
“I’m not three! I’m not a girl!
I’m a guy, my name is Anthony!” I was blubbering.
wanted to be mad. She still WAS mad from earlier,
but seeing this, seeing how upset poor Aluoette was,
she just couldn’t bring herself to it. She eased
Aluoette back down to the pillow. “It’s okay… it was
just a dream.”
“I’m not three,” I said again.
My voice was shaky and my head hurt. I couldn’t
think straight. I just knew I was in trouble, that
my body was upset. I rolled out of bed and hit the
floor. Angélique jumped to get me in surprise, but
not before I threw up.
I was taken to the bathroom. My
head was heavy still and now my stomach wasn’t doing
so great either. I felt another hurl coming, but it
wasn’t as strong and I kept it down. Angélique had a
wet washcloth and dabbed at my forehead.
will teach you not drink so much vin, eh Aluoette?”
“No… no vin…”
When I was feeling a little
better, Angélique helped me back to my room, and
cleaned up my little mess. She got me back into bed,
and found my diaper wet, so she changed it. I rolled
over and tried to straighten out my head. My eyes
“I… I’m… I’m sorry.” I searched
for the right words… “Désolé…”
Angélique smiled at me. It
almost instantly made me feel better.
you, just… please don’t make this so difficult.”She kissed me on the forehead.
“And if you
get sick again, you’re on your own in terms of clean
She left my room and me to
sleep. I hit the pillow like a block of cement and
went dead to the world. My head was still heavy… I
thought, ‘the first thing I do when I learn good
enough French, is question her about that bottle in
Sleep and I met again at last,
but our time together was over before I could get
rid of whatever had plagued me. Angélique was in my
room at the crack of dawn, bright and chipper, as if
nothing out of the ordinary had gone on last night.
I buried my head under the pillows.
By: CS Fox
“What am I
going to do with you? You’d sleep right through
school wouldn’t you?”
“No no, speak your French to
someone else.” I said hiding under the pillow. “My
offices don’t open till .”
you’re saying, I hope it’s a lot of regret for last
night. You’re lucky I’m in a good mood this
Once again I felt the covers
stripped from my body. I curled up and shivered,
Angélique’s house could get soo cold during the
She was in her sing-song voice
this morning, actually, she was in her sing-song
voice every morning. She was just one of those
morning people. And like the day before, I felt a
hand patting my diapered bottom.
“Abuse abuse!” I said moving
myself away and groping a blind hand over my back to
stop the intrusion, and possibly regain my warm
“You said that
yesterday morning too… What is this ‘abuse’ mean?”
abuse! You’re repeating it, but somehow I don’t
think you’ll stop it.” When her hand was away, I
patted myself down there. My diaper was wet and
brought a frown to my face. I didn’t really expect
it to be any other way, but I could always hope.
start school! You’re picking up French with good
progress, which makes me want to think you’re smart
for a runaway. Hopefully you won’t be too far behind
I heard “français”
somewhere in her morning complaints of my sleeping
habits; she wanted me to get started on our lessons.
“Fine, French lessons later. I don’t see any reason
why we have to get up so early for it now.”
pillow protecting my head was being pulled free. I
gripped my hands onto it, flopping over so that I
had the pillow firmly as Angélique tugged it
away from me. I dug my heals into the edge of the
bed as I put my back to the wall. What a sight we
must have been. Me with heels dug into the bed,
resisting my removal from it with all my might. I
saw a smirk growing on Angélique’s face, and just as
I was about to let go, she beat me to it. The force
of my resistance returned to me and sent me hard
into the wall I’d been leaning against; I fumbled
with the pillow a moment before throwing it in
frustration at Angélique. She ducked the pillow with
ease and giggled.
“Wash and get
dressed, I’ll start on breakfast.”
Angélique left a towel on my
dresser and opened one of the drawers on her way
out. It was her non-verbal hint for me to bathe and
dress. I waited till she was gone before gathering
my bedding from the floor and heaping them back on
my bed. I started the water in the bathroom at the
end of the hall.
I untaped the wet diaper I was
wearing and balled it up to throw away in the
trashcan. Just out of hope I sat on the toilet, but
nothing really happened, I just sat there and
realized there was no communication between my lower
half and my upper half as far as bathroom habits
went. Sighing, I got in the tub and cleaned up.
I got dressed for the day; I
figured it would be prudent to wear pull-ups, so I
did. Wearing them allowed me to still hide my
problem even when wearing plain slacks. I put on a
bra for my A barely B cup, followed by a t-shirt
with a flower on it. Looking in the mirror, my hair
still damp, I frowned at my reality.
“Another day… and I’m still a
girl,” I said unhappily. “Day 3, here we go.”
Angélique had breakfast waiting
on the table. I noticed she was dressed up nicer
then she had been on Saturday. She was a step down
from church Sunday, but still better then casual.
Made me wonder what today had in store.
“We’ll have to
get your uniform when we get to school.”
“Yes, whatever, breakfast is
I picked at my food. Something
didn’t seem right. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
When we’d finished eating, we left the house.
Angélique packed up a lot of the books scattered
around her desk and we headed into town. I let
myself be taken, I couldn’t really dictate what we
were to do anyway.
Sophie used to take English lessons, so that should
help us out a lot. I’ll make sure you sit by her in
I mostly ignored Angélique and
just let my eyes wander lazily around the town. It
was waking up and getting ready for the day as we
walked through it. People were driving out of the
little place in their cars and kids were walking up
the street in the direction we were heading.
As we neared the school and I
noticed a lot of kids walking into the yard, I
realized something. A lot of those kids were my age,
and Angélique was taking me in that direction.
“OH NO! I am not going to
school!” I said suddenly putting on the brakes and
trying to tug away from Angélique.
“Merd… I knew
this would happen. You didn’t understand a word I’d
said did you? I don’t care, you’re going to school.
A girl your age needs to be in school!”
“No! No school!”
Any of the kids still on their
way to school, or talking in the yard began to look
my way. We were making a scene, and I was a new
girl who was arrested outside my house last night!”
said one girl excitedly.
“Why is she
fighting with our teacher?” asked another.
American,” Papillon said with modest disinterest.
“She’s living with our teacher for a little while.”
The voices and eyes of my peers
began to make me feel a little nervous. I stopped
resisting. Angélique tugged at my hand and caused me
to stumble a little behind her as we headed up the
sidewalk between groups of students to the school. A
few looked me over, sizing me up, seeing what new
show had just entered their midst. Seeing how I was
being dragged by Angélique, a few just laughed.
Angélique called to one of the
girls in the yard. She came up to us a little shyly.
“Sophie, I could use your help. Please come here a
girl with glasses and reddish-brown hair cautiously
approached Angélique. She didn't say anything, but
just stared expectantly, probably waiting for the
reason she'd been beckoned.
"This is Aluoette, she's a new student in my class.
Could you take her to the headmistress?"
The girl had a voice
just above a whisper, like she was afraid to talk
with it. "Why
"Your dad told me that you used to take English
lessons at your old school. Aluoette here can't
speak any French, she only speaks English and I'd
really appreciate if you'd help me by translating."
The girl looked at
me. Her blue eyes scanned me behind the safety of
her glasses, but she quickly returned her eyes to
the floor when she noticed me returning the
“My name’s Sophie,” she said
with a slight accent. “Teacher said she’ll need my
help talking to you.”
I hugged her. It surprised her
a bit, but finding another person speaking English
made me very happy. Up till now, only a-hole
policemen spoke English around here. Finding this
girl elevated her to Queen of the country in my
“Andy? It’s not Alouette?” she
said in her quiet whisper.
“Oh, yeah, I was only kidding,
it’s Alouette,” I said cursing myself for the slip
inside. “But you said… teacher? Is Angélique your
“She’s your teacher too.”
Angélique smiled at us both. “I’m going to let you be a little late to class, please take her to the
headmistress’ office. I’m so glad you’re doing this
for me Sophie. I’ll be sure to give you extra
“Merci,” replied Sophie with a
little curtsey. Angélique left us and headed down
“She’s a teacher?” I said
looking dumbfounded as she walked away.
Sophie looked in the same
direction as me, and nodded. Then she turned and
started walking the other way down the hall, I
jogged to catch up. She broke the silence in her
timid accented voice. “Was it true you were arrested
“Um… that’s a long story.”
“I think… we’ll have time.
Teacher said we could be late to class so that you
could meet the headmistress and get a uniform.”
I looked at Sophie a little
oddly, but then realized that she and every other
student here had been dressed exactly alike. The
boys all had the same slacks and polo shirt, and the
girls had identical outfits except with a skirt
instead of slacks. When I’d walked into the school
yard today, I must have looked even more an outsider
being dressed a little boyishly in slacks with a
I did my best to explain the
business with the dumb inspectors last night to
Sophie. I decided it would be best not to tell her
why the police were chasing me, but rather modify
the story to say “they thought I was running away
again.” Which I’d hoped would lesson any opinions of
me as a wino.
For the most part, Sophie
seemed like a nice girl. I couldn’t really catch
much in the way of emotions, she seemed sort of like
a shy and kind of spacey girl. She was also a little
shorter then me, but just as skinny.
“Papa said you have a drinking
problem,” Sophie said as we neared the end of the
hall. The question made me flinch. So everyone in
the town knew about it already I guess.
“No… it’s a bad miss
“I don’t think so. My Papa is a
My mouth dropped… “You’re last
name’s not… Bedeau or Facet is it?”
“No no no, my dad is the desk
man, he’s not an inspector.”
The events at the station two
days ago flashed back to my head. “Oh right… I did
We got to the end of the hall
and Sophie opened the door to a small office for me.
An elderly lady with horn rimmed glasses sat behind
a desk, next to another door.
“Can I help
“A new girl to
see the headmistress.”
“Take a seat,
she’ll be with you both momentarily.”
Sophie took my hand and led me
to sit down with her in a few chairs. First day and
I was essentially in the Principle’s office. It was
high school all over again, like I had rewound the
clock 7 years. I looked about and saw a few catholic
icons. This was apparently a religious school, which
made sense being attached to the church and all.
Still it would be interesting to be in a school
again. Maybe not even that hard since I’d done all
this before… only… in English.
I felt my pull-up get a little
warm and I frowned, then I panicked a little. I
didn’t have a spare one. Luckily it seemed like a
tiny wet, but if this school was like any other, it
was going to be a long day ahead of me. This might
be a little tricky.
you both now…” The elderly lady said opening the
Sophie led me into the office
and we found a nun looking over some papers. She
looked up and smiled at me warmly.
Sophie had that same nervous
twitch and found it even harder to speak now.
student, her name is Aluoette.”
Aluoette,” she said nodding at me. I shyly waved
my hand. “Angélique called about you yesterday.” Her warm smile turned to a
“Inspector Facet also called about you yesterday.”
I heard “Inspector Facet,” and
immediately knew I was boned. My reputation preceded
français?” the Nun asked at me continuing her scowl.
I shook my head no. She turned to Sophie, making the
“Tell her that if I so
much as smell wine on her breath at any time here,
I’m going to march her straight to Inspector Facet’s
Sophie looked a little nervous
and didn’t say anything for a moment. The nun
shouted at her and she delivered the threat to me.
Honestly I could have guessed it hearing the key
words “Vin” and “Inspector Facet.”
The nun proceeded to list off
the ten commandments of the school. I began to
wonder where she’d conjured up that smile as we’d
walked in, because there was no hint of it now. She
plowed right on through the justice system of her
little school. Everything began with her, and ended
with her kicking you to the curb. That’s at least
what I got out of it. Sophie seemed to be in a
rather uncomfortable spot. It sounded like the Nun
was yelling at her, even though the yells were meant
for me, and really didn’t have the desired effect,
because the relay spoke to me like a French mouse.
Finally the nun got up from her
desk and went to a closet and returned with a few
garments neatly folded in a stack.
size, and if they aren’t too bad.”
She opened the door for us to
leave. I was holding my new uniform and just left as
quickly as I could with Sophie. The old lady at the
desk was trying to hide a smirk as we left.
“That wasn’t the nicest welcome
I’ve gotten so far…” I said a little flatly as I
tipped my clothes to look at them a little better.
Seemed to be an exact replica of Sophie’s. The lady
at the desk rolled her eyes at me, and I realized
she couldn’t understand what I’d said. I smiled “You
have ugly glasses.” I said turning to walk out of
the room. She nodded, and Sophie started to
translate, but I quickly yanked her out into the
hall with me.
“Where can I get changed?”
“You told me you didn’t have a
problem with wine,” Sophie said in her quiet way.
“Then why was the headmistress
“Because she talked to
Inspector Facet, he’s a jerk. Anyone who talks to
him gets mad.”
Sophie seemed to weigh what I’d
just said in her head. While she was still deciding
she started walking down another hallway again. I
hurried after her.
We came to a gymnasium. It
wasn’t really big. Only one basketball court sized
room. No bleachers, a few scattered folding chairs,
and some aerobic mats stacked in the corner. Sophie
kept walking and led me to two doors.
“The bathroom here is where we
change for PE she said,” she went in one of the
doors. I turned and went for the other.
“WHAT-ARE-YOU-DOING?” she exclaimed. Her accent
caused her words to mash together in her hurry to
get them out. Her voice also nearly rose to a normal
level. I stopped mid-step and retracted my hand from
the door, noticing the little blue circle with a
white stick-figure man on it.
“Ohhh right,” I said feeling
stupid once more. She grabbed my hand and tugged me
into the girl’s room. I felt a little nervous; being
a girl was one thing, entering their world was
another. Luckily there was no one in the room.
I put the pile of clothes down
on a bench in the middle of some locker rows. I
started to unbutton my pants, then… noticed what I
was wearing underneath. I quickly re-buttoned them
and sighed in relief that Sophie wasn’t paying
attention to my undergarments. I grabbed the bundle
of clothes and scurried to one of the bathroom
stalls. I immerged a few moments later in my white
shirt and pleated skirt.
“Here she is, Miss
Stupid-looking me!” I said doing a little twirl,
before the big mirrors near the sinks.
“Why are you wearing your skirt
like that?” Sophie asked from behind me. I had to
ask her to repeat it because her voice didn’t carry
but two feet.
“Wearing it like what?”
“You’re… you’re supposed to
roll the top up a few times, so that the skirt is
shorter. The way you’re wearing it is prude.”
“Prude? No, its practical, I
don’t want anyone to see up it.”
Sophie looked a little hesitant
at me. I realized she had her skirt on the way she
was talking about, with the end of it just above her
knees. Mine went down just below them.
“I don’t want anyone to see up
my skirt either,” she said softly. “But you’re
supposed to tease the boys right? I mean all the
other girls do. Don’t you ever want a boyfriend?”
She asked. I could tell that she wasn’t as
comfortable with this idea as she wanted to portray
she was. She was just going along with what had
become fashion standard.
I thought of the slightly damp
pull-up thinly concealed by this skirt. “Umm… no. I
don’t want a boyfriend… and I DEFFINATELY don’t want
anyone looking up my skirt.”
“Um… I’d always heard Americans
were exactly the opposite of you.”
“Consider me the exception.”
She poked a finger at my boobs
through my uniform. I quickly covered them with my
arm and swatted her hand away.
“HEY!” I yelped. “They’re real
“Are you a boy?”
I felt like I’d just been
punched with words. They knocked the wind straight
out of me, but it was the happiest verbal KO I’d
ever felt. I wanted to hug her again, but as I took
a step toward her she stepped back. Instead of a hug
I smiled broadly.
“Why are you smiling?” she
asked looking at me weirdly.
“Why did you ask that
“First you said you’re name was
Andy. Then you walked into the boy’s room, and now
you just said you don’t even like boys.”
I laughed a little. I was
tempted to tell her my crazy story. Maybe she’d
believe it, but I decided to hold it back. I’d get
to know her better. I unbuttoned my shirt and
flashed her without even thinking about it.
“Satisfied?” I asked with a
“Do you… like girls?” she asked
taking another step away.
My smirk faded and I rolled my
eyes; should have seen this one coming. I buttoned
my shirt back up. “I only said I didn’t want a
boyfriend,” I said. “I still like…” I had to force
myself to say this one. “I like boys.”
Sophie seemed to calm a little.
“You don’t think you’re ready for a relationship?”
“No, I already had a lot, they
were all crap.”
“I take back what I said
earlier, you are like every American I’ve heard
I rolled my eyes, and mouthed
the word “thanks.” She led me out of the little room
and onward to our class. I hoped that I could figure
out what to do with my pull-up.
By: CS Fox
“Do you like our town?” Sophie
asked as we walked to class.
“No, can’t say I’ve had that
“…But it’s a nice small town.”
“And a minnow is a nice small
fish. But right now, I think I’m sick of fish. If
that makes sense,” I replied coldly. Sophie shut up
looking a little hurt. We walked in silence and with
the absence of chatter I began to feel a little
guilty. I could tell that Sophie was the type who
usually stayed quiet, and by trying to make small
talk, she was probably doing something bold for her
“Well, its not that I don’t
like it… I mean it’s a nice place and all. I just
She screwed up her face and
looked at me incredulously, “You?”
“Er… home. I miss home.”
Sophie looked thoughtful. “Has
it been hard not being able to understand everyone?”
I stopped walking. “Yes. Yes it
has.” Understatement of the year.
We found my new classroom. It
looked like it was white walled at one time, but had
now faded to an off yellow. Wooden desks faced a
much used green chalk board, which Angélique was in
front of at a large desk of her own. She was looking
through a book while a dozen students were busy
writing. As Sophie opened the door, Angélique looked
up and smiled at me.
our new student. Class, this is Aluoette,” Angélique
said to her class.
I heard my name and blushed as
everyone looked up at me. I waved a little shyly,
and noticed Sophie just hurried to her desk, to
avoid attention. Angélique looked full of pride,
like I’d just been pronounced clean at an AA meeting
or something. She walked up to me and bent down
putting both of her hands on my shoulders.
wonderful in that uniform, let’s get you seated for
Angélique pointed to an open
desk in the back row. Sophie sat to the right of it,
and on the other side sat a boy. I carefully went to
my seat, conscious that all eyes followed me as I
did so. The boy sneered at me and I realized I
recognized him. He was in the group of boys in the
street the other day. I think his name was Marcel.
be in our class for a little while. She’s visiting
America. I want you
all to make her feel welcome.”
Angélique was talking about me
again, no idea what though. I looked around my desk
and frowned. I didn’t have books, pen, paper, or
anything a normal student might have.
“Um… could I get… some school
Angélique looked back at me a
little hotly. I think she thought I was interrupting
her. She started to walk back towards me. I quickly
reached over and tugged at Sophie’s sleeve. She gave
me a look like she didn’t know me. I tugged a little
“She says she
doesn’t have anything to write on,” Sophie said
Angélique stopped walking
towards me. She smiled and playfully slapped her
“Silly me, I completely forgot she’d need school
supplies,” and started back towards her desk. As
soon as her back was turned a ball of paper hit me
in the side of the head. In front of Marcel sat the
bigger boy of that group from the other day, Gérard.
paper for you to write on Amerloque,” Gérard
said with a laugh, Marcel and a few others sitting
nearby chuckled too.
Gérard = ass-hat. First thing I
learned in French school. No idea what he said,
which is just as good; if I can’t understand their
stupid remarks, then I can’t be affected by them.
Angélique came back with some
paper and a pen, and also one of the books on French
I’d been using most of the weekend. She just flipped
it open to where I’d left off. After a few more
minutes of blabbering about me, she began in on one
of her lessons.
Class was fairly dull.
Angélique droned on about this or that. Occasionally
I could guess what she was talking about when she’d
point to a map and say a few things. I think she was
a civics teacher of sorts, but later, she switched
gears and started talking about some reading all the
students (except me) had been doing. They all took
out the same book and took turns reading aloud. I
busied myself with my book, and occasionally stared
around the classroom. Some of the kids I’d seen in
town or at church before. Including the ass-hat boys
nearby and also that girl whose house I’d stopped at
the other day.
Eventually a bell rang
somewhere close to . I watched as the boys clustered
together and looked at me menacingly before leaving
the room, and some of the girls didn’t really look
at me favorably either. Sophie left the room
quietly, and by herself, leaving me alone with
I went to the door and made
sure no one was nearby. Satisfied, I went to
Angélique who was busy making a few notes on a piece
of paper at her desk.
lunchtime now Aluoette, you don’t need to stay,” she
said motioning to the door.
I recognized the French word
for Lunch, but I didn’t need to know about where I
should have been going, I needed to talk to her.
“I don’t have another pull-up,”
I said in a whisper. She knew the word pull-up and
her eyes widened.
“You know we
didn’t plan today very well did we? You go to lunch,
I’ll see if I can’t run home really quickly.”
I really wanted to know what
she was saying. She eventually got to our best form
of communication and pointed at herself, then walked
her fingers across the desk, then pointed out the
window. She was going to run home real quick. I
smiled and nodded. She patted my shoulder and left
for her house, I went out into the hallway and found
it mostly deserted, and I realized I didn’t know
where lunch was.
I turned right and started down
that hall. I found the ladies room (I made sure to
remind myself not to futz up on the men’s room thing
again) and went into the bathroom. It was empty,
which I was happy about. I carefully went into one
of the stalls and sat down. It’d been a while since
I’d wet and I knew that I would probably need to go
to the bathroom, even if I couldn’t really feel it.
Luckily, I was right. Not only was I right, I was
right on umm… both accounts. Gave me a shudder
thinking I’d never be able to hide… well if I messed
myself, I don’t think pull-ups are really meant to
handle it. Thankfully I had managed to get to the
toilet for that need lately.
The door to the bathroom
opened. I froze up. I looked about nervously and
noticed that my pull-up was around my ankles and
probably visible from outside the stall, so I
reached forward and brought it up to my knees.
“Do you want
to skip class?”
“Yeah why not,
it’s getting so annoying to have to go every day…”
I smelt cigarette smoke.
Sounded like two voices holding a quiet conversation
in French near the window.
“Did you see
the new girl today?”
“I heard she’s
American, and that she was arrested last night.”
“Makes me feel
kind of stupid just smoking cigarettes, I bet that
American girl knows how to have fun… We’ll have to
talk to her sometime.”
love getting into trouble.”
“What else is
there to do in this town?”
“Heh I know
what you mean.”
The two girls giggled and
stopped talking for a little bit. I heard them
eventually leave the bathroom and I breathed a sigh
of relief before getting up to finish my business
and leave the bathroom too.
I was extra cautious to leave
the bathroom. I knew that things like cigarette
smoke would easily be blamed on me since I
apparently had the benefit of immediately being
guilty for whatever wrong doing went on nearby me.
Finding the coast clear, I made my escape and
started down the hall once again.
I walked to the other side of
the building, where I started to hear the collective
noise of a lot of students. I followed it and
reached a large hall which served as the lunch room.
I smiled and went to a counter to get a small tray
of food. It was very basic, milk, chips and a
sandwich. Faces looked up at me, like they had when
I’d come into the schoolyard this morning. I
nervously looked about for a place to sit and found
most of the tables were pretty full. I didn’t really
feel like talking to anyone (since probably none of
them could understand me anyway). I found a spot
towards the middle that didn’t have any people near
for like six or seven seats down the table.
My class was interspersed
around the room. Sophie was in a corner, sitting
near some people, but she was reading a book and
really didn’t look much like she was associating
with them. That other girl from my class talking
excitedly with her friends, if Sophie was the quiet
reader, this girl was her opposite.
I finished my lunch in silence,
trying to avoid the stares of the people around me.
A part of me had entertained thoughts during class
of ruling this school. I had done it all before, so
why couldn’t I do it all again and do it better then
I got my answer in the form of
an intentional bump on my back as Gérard passed by
me with an empty tray. He tried to make it look like
an accident, but I could tell by the smiles from his
friends, that it wasn’t. I didn’t say anything and
After lunch, everyone started
wandering back to their classrooms. As the lunchroom
crowd thinned, I took the cue to head back too.
Angélique was waiting for me as I returned to her
room. She had a small handbag and handed it to me
with a wink. I thanked her and scurried off to the
bathroom again. It turned out that I had wet my
pull-up a little more during lunch, and hadn’t even
noticed it. I was thankful to have the dry one.
I got back to class and took my
seat. Lessons resumed and I was bored out of my
mind. I could only force myself to study French so
much. After two more hours of it, I wanted to throw
the book out the window. I had taken to doodling on
my paper. I was even making up songs. This one I
adapted from “Les Mes” since I was Le Miserable…
there is a cheeseburger waiting
Its sits next to a nice cold
And English is the only sound I
Okay so songwriter I’m not, but
it aptly described how I felt. As time passed, the
lessons finally changed once again. This time, to my
great happiness, Angélique started in on math. A big
smile came to my lips. Math was universal, language
wasn’t a barrier here.
start with today’s bonus problem. As usual I don’t
expect anyone to get it, but its something great to
Angélique started writing on
the board. She wrote some French with a series of
numbers behind it. I reached over to Sophie and
tugged at her sleave once more.
“What’s it say? What’s before
the numbers? I need to know, I might actually be
able to participate in class if I can understand
Sophie hesitated but looked to
me after getting a glare from ass-hat and little
ass-hat. “It says ‘Find the lowest whole number
evenly divisible by’,” and she turned to the board
again, I looked on. The numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
8, 9 and 10 were written out under the French
I looked at some of the other
kids around. Sophie got out a paper and started
multiplying the numbers together. I saw the other
kids doing similar long steps too. I looked at the
problem and thought about it again. I was a comp-sci
major in college and math was a strong point. This
problem was a factoring one.
I took out a piece of paper and
copied the numbers down, then started to factor them
out. I wrote a 1 below 1, then a 2 below 2, then a 3
below 3, and another 2 below 4, 5 below 5, nothing
for 6, one 7, another 2 for 8, another 3 for 9 and
nothing for 10. After I’d done it, I had the numbers
1, 2, 3, 2, 5, 7, 2, 3 written below the original
ten. I quickly multiplied them all together and
started walking up towards the board.
are you coming up towards the board?”
Angélique was questioning my
movement. I held up my paper.
the problem? But you don’t even have a calculator?
You shouldn’t know how to do this yet.”
I ignored whatever she was
saying and started drawing lines and numbers under
the original ten on the board. The class watched in
silence as I wrote like a girl possessed. I factored
each number again and then multiplied them quickly
to come out with a final product. 2520.
Angélique looked at me
incredulously as I put the chalk down and walked
back to my desk. The students looked up at the board
trying to figure out what I’d done.
did she get a 2 out of 4, then nothing out of 6?”
asked a boy in the front of the class.
silent a moment. “She factored out the problem. The
factors of 6, which are 2 and 3, were already
present in the equation…”
“How did she
know to do that?” asked Sophie.
“I… I’m not
Some of the class looked back
at me a little stunned. I smiled smugly. Math, the
I proved that I knew every
answer for the rest of the lesson. Not only did I
know every answer, I knew them without calculators…
I think I raised myself a notch in Angélique’s eyes.
She wasn’t expecting any talent out of me. She
seemed to drag the lesson out, probably just to test
how good I really was. I didn’t mind at all.
Class let out about . Groups of kids left in just
about the same order they had for lunch. I gathered
my stuff and put it on Angélique’s desk, where she
was busy writing more notes. She beckoned Sophie
forward too, who apparently hadn’t left the
“I’m going to
be staying after a little bit. Could you tell
Aluoette to wait for me in the library and then take
her there? You usually stay after anyways right?
I’ve seen you in the library before,” said
Angélique, but Sophie paused a moment. “Sophie?
Could you do this for me?.... Sophie?”
Sophie turned to me. “She has
work to do, wants me to take you to the library.”
I just nodded absently. “Lead
on,” I said still feeling bored. We left the
classroom. Angélique looking at Sophie curiously as
if still waiting for an answer when she’d left the
“You don’t like playing
translator much do you?” I asked once we were in the
hall. Sophie stayed quiet. “You went quiet as soon
as we got back to the room earlier.”
“I just like to read, I don’t
like trouble,” Sophie said in her soft quiet voice.
“Papa told me about your
drinking, then all the girls were talking about you
getting arrested again this morning, and then
teacher made me take you to the office where I was
yelled at so I could repeat it to you.”
I felt a little guilty. She was
making a lot of sense. All except my drinking thing.
“Well… I didn’t really ask for a translator… but it
sure does sound nice to hear someone else who can
“You didn’t sound too happy
earlier when you had just changed into the uniform,”
she said indignantly. I nodded and apologized.
“Sorry about that, I was in a
bad mood. I didn’t really want to have to go to
school all over again.”
“You’ve gone before?”
“Yeah, I graduated 3 years ago;
I’m really a junior in college now.”
Sophie stopped walking and
looked at me with a sneer. “LIAR!” she squeaked,
raising her voice to a normal level. “This is why I
hate what I have to do. I don’t like liars, and
troublemakers, none of them understand I want to
just read and be left alone.”
I felt stupid. Seemed no matter
how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep my damn mouth from
spewing forth more crap about what I really was, but
no one believed.
“I was just joking… but…
thanks. For translating and all.”
Sophie didn’t reply. She just
walked in silence and led me to the library. As we
walked I felt my pull-up get a little warm once
again. I frowned but kept walking, only it kept
getting warm. I was wetting pretty good. I walked a
little slower, till Sophie noticed she was getting
kind of far ahead of me. I could tell I was still
peeing. A small trickle started to go down my leg.
“Hurry up, I just want to show
you where it is and…” Sophie had walked back to me,
and saw the little trickle. My eyes began to water
and I hesitated to say something.
By: CS Fox
“Did you just…?” Sophie’s voice
trailed off as her eyes focused on the yellow
liquid. Tears came and I did my best not to meet her
gaze. There was an intense silence that fell between
us like a thick layer of smoke. She opened her mouth
to say something, but before she could, my heart
began to pound and I just ran. I don’t know why I
did, but it felt like the only thing I could do. The
lid was off the pot and like any teen, instead of
explaining it; I was going to run away from it.
I flew down the hall, turned,
kept running and turned again. My shoulder hit the
girl’s room door and I quickly found my way to a
stall. I didn’t pull the wet pull-up down; I just
sat and buried my face in my hands. Sophie had just
seen what I was trying to hide… This could
potentially be the catalyst for making school
absolute hell. Good god, crying again? What the hell
am I doing… I hadn’t even made it through the first
Sophie asked in her shy voice as she pushed the door
open to her classroom.
Sophie?” Angélique said looking up. “I thought you’d
be in the library with Alouette?”
shrugged. “We… didn’t exactly make it there.”
stopped writing. “She didn’t run away did she?”
“No… I don’t
think she did.”
out of her chair and walked around her desk to
Sophie. Sophie gulped loudly as Angélique stood
before her. “Sophie… Where is Alouette? She didn’t
run away from the school did she?”
“I think she
peed herself. And then ran off somewhere in the
eyes bulged a little. “But.. but she had on a
bulged a little too, and she fought back a giggle.
that if you open your mouthwill lead to five times more math homework
then you already have.” Angélique bluffed at her.
Could teachers threaten students with homework? Her
lips pursed in a seal.
direction did she run off in?” Angélique asked..
lunchroom when we were near the library.”
me Sophie, we need to talk on the way.”
The two of
them left the classroom in search of Alouette.
Sophie couldn’t help but wish she’d just never
gotten involved. It seemed like every time in her
life that she’d take a single step further then
necessary, something like this always happened.
My tears didn’t stop. Just like
my potty skills, my tear ducts did not obey what I
wished them too. I just cried and sobbed, and sobbed
and cried; occasionally blowing my noise on a wad of
toilet paper because crying so much made you snotty.
Everything was just wrong… I
shouldn’t be a girl. I shouldn’t be wetting myself.
I shouldn’t be in school again. I shouldn’t even be
in this part of the country. A million shouldn’t
be’s… And just as I was feeling my tears come anew
as I wallowed in self pity, I heard the bathroom
It was Angélique. I didn’t answer, but a
pair of footsteps found their way to the door of my
stall. I think they could hear my sobbing.
“Go away…” I said meekly.
patted Sophie’s shoulder. “Remember what we
discussed Sophie. You don’t know… Okay?”
“Teacher wants you to come
out…” said a soft voice. I recognized it as
Sophie’s. She was the other pair of feet next to
“I just want to be alone… I’m
not feeling well.”
to Angélique. She wasdoing her least favorite thing, which wasplaying interpreter in shaky circumstances.
“She says she’s not feeling well.”
nodded “Tell her you went and got me because you
thought as much, and that I’m here to help. Then go
wait for us outside the bathroom.”
Sophie spoke up shyly, “You
weren’t looking to good back in the hallway, that’s
why I brought our teacher, I’ll uh… be out in the
The soft voice left with soft
footsteps, and Angélique opened the door to my
stall. I looked up at her, wiping tears off my
cheeks with a fist. I couldn’t tell if she was
smiling maternally, condescendingly, or even
mockingly… She just seemed to somehow say “I didn’t
expect anything else” on her face.
to think these pull-ups aren’t enough. You must have
really wet to get Sophie’s attention like that.”
She said something about my
pull-up and Sophie. It didn’t stop my sobbing, I
think she was confirming that Sophie knew now.
Angélique gave me a hand and pulled me up and out of
the stall. She hiked my uniform skirt up a little
and looked at my sodden garment. She made a low
whistle, which didn’t help any either.
She had a bag over her
shoulder, which she reached into and took out
another pull up. I took off the soaked one and threw
it away, putting on the dry one. Angélique waited
till I was done, and pointed toward the door. We
left together and found… an empty hall. Angélique
looked around and didn’t find Sophie. She frowned.
“That girl… I
told her to wait. Oh well,” Angélique said. I
didn’t really pay any attention because I couldn’t
understand it. She took my hand and motioned
“Let’s go home, I can’t really get any more work
We went back to our classroom
and gathered some stuff before we left the school. I
was sort of at a miss for why were leaving, or even
why we’d stayed after. The only thing I knew was
that tomorrow would suck. With my current luck,
every student would know from Sophie how I was even
stranger then I already seemed.
The school yard was empty, but
people were bustling around in the streets of town.
It was about that hour when people were driving back
into town from their jobs, and some of the kids from
the school were out playing around in the fair early
evening weather. I of course, was not playing, and I
don’t think I would have if Angélique had wanted me
too. I was just a tripping, stumbling, sad girl,
alone and wondering what next.
We got back to Angélique’s
house. She brought me straight upstairs and had me
lay down so she could diaper me. I didn’t really
blame her. She didn’t want me having another
accident, which now, I was accepting would assuredly
happen no matter how much I didn’t want it too.
She did let me change out of
the school uniform. I got into a pair of overalls
which had probably once been Angélique’s. They were
the only thing that really concealed my diaper and
yet were still full clothes. Although, there was
still a faint crinkling sound even more pronounced
then the plastic pants had been.
I’ve got something for you here…” Angélique said
as I came downstairs. She motioned for me to join
her at the table. I found she had a sheet of paper
with a bunch of mathematical problems on it. I
“I was trying to write a note to the headmistress earlier, but didn’t
have a chance to finish it because of your
She smiled back and gave me a
pen. The math problems were all upper level. Some of
them were things I’d only touched on last year in
college. I sat down and started in. I did my best
and I know I got just about everyone right. I wasn’t
about to let this opportunity slip. It was my only
chance to possibly prove that I was more then just a
girl in her mid teens.
Angélique had started to cook
something, but kept coming over to check my
progress. A few times she gasped and started
punching numbers into a calculator she fetched from
her writing desk. It didn’t take me that long to
finish the dozen problems. I was above average for a
college level comp sci major, and I’m sure, light
years above most 15-year-old girls.
don’t have a problem with math. I’m going to have to
give this to the headmistress tomorrow. She won’t
believe what a prodigy you are.”
Angélique looked like I’d just
written Shakespeare. I actually felt a little proud.
At least one thing had gone right today. She put the
paper with her stack of books and got to finishing
I ate in silence… or more
accurately, I didn’t contribute to Angélique’s long
monologue. I recognized a few bits of praise for my
math skills, but they were few and I heard pull-up
and diaper far more often in her rambling. To a
point it was almost discouraging. I knew it hadn’t
been a week yet, but it felt like after all my
trying, even when I desperately needed to understand
the language, I hadn’t gotten any better. All that I
had learned were very basic excuses, questions,
numbers and greetings. Not even enough to hold an
intelligent conversation for longer then ten
After dinner I just tramped
upstairs to bed. I was beat and didn’t have anything
to stay up for anyway. I came into the room and just
flopped down on the bed. I think my diaper was a
little wet, but I didn’t care. I also think it
wasn’t wise to sleep fully clothed, but I didn’t
care about that either. I just wanted the total
blankness of unconscious rest.
Morning found me grumpy and in
a wet diaper (err… wetter diaper). It found
Angélique singing and gaily playing another pillow
game to get me out of bed. It slowly erupted into a
war between America and France, resulting in the
end, with French victory (for the first time in
recent history, HA). She succeeded in annexing my
bed and removing me from it.
Then something odd happened.
After I’d had my morning bath, Angélique was back in
my room waiting for me. I didn’t really pay her any
mind because I figured she was doing laundry, but as
I came in, she took my shoulder and had me lay down
on the bed. I looked up at her questioningly.
“We have to do
this… Pull-ups just aren’t working,” she said
I heard pull-up. I rolled my
eyes. Why did she want to be the one to put it on
me? It was a stupid pull-up.
Angélique went over to a
dresser and I pressed my head a little harder into
the bed. My head kind of felt a little light this
morning. I also had a few butterflies in my stomach.
It was probably because I had a school day of
humiliation to look forward too. Angélique came back
over and pulled the towel off me. I looked up
nonchalantly just in time to see her unfold a
disposable diaper and start putting it under me.
“WOAH! Hold on a tick!” I said
immediately trying to jump up. Angélique put her
hand down on my abdomen, keeping me in place. She
had the diaper up quicker then I could kick my feet
and swat her hands away.
was no good. You have to wear a diaper.”
“NO!” I said immaturely while
stamping my foot. I started working at the tapes.
Angélique came up and took my hands in hers.
she said slowly. I stared into her eyes defiantly.
“You like this don’t you…” I
said hotly. “You know that Sophie told everyone
yesterday, and now today you’re just going to take
it up a level. Ooooo the new American girl… what a
freak, in diapers and running from the police.”
Angélique looked at me for a
few moments. She couldn’t tell what I was saying,
but my sarcasm was so heavy, that it penetrated the
“You’re not making it to the bathroom. You no
I understood something like ‘no
bathroom’ in French. I think she was saying I wasn’t
aloud to use the bathroom anymore. I felt my anger
I yelled, repeating some of her words. Angélique
took a deep sigh and dropped my hands. She pointed
at the trashcan, where she’d tossed my wet diaper
this morning. We’d played this game before. “So
what?” I said, still being snippy.
she said sternly and left the room. I balled my
hands into fists, and walked slowly over to the bed.
I picked up a pillow, thrust it in my face, and let
out a muffled scream.
I came downstairs in the school
uniform with a pull-up on underneath. The diaper I’d
been wearing was rebelliously taped up on
Angélique’s bedroom door. She had a small backpack
set for me on the table. She threw it at me, a
little harshly, but I was ready for it. We set off
towards the school.
We walked in silence. It was a
little chilly this morning, both in terms of
weather, and company. At least it felt that way
walking around in a pleated skirt. As we got closer
to the school, Angélique walked a little faster and
left me sort of straggling behind. I raised my hand
to call after her, but she turned and waved me off,
taking out something from her bag and hurrying
inside. I stood staring a little blankly, as she
Amerloque!” A wad of paper hit the back of my head.
“Oh good, Ass-Hat…” I said to
myself in a grumble before turning around. Sure
enough, the taller boy Gérard, the slightly shorter
boy Marcel, and about three other boys were looking
at me and sniggering.
“Why don’t you
go back to your own country. We don’t want you
around here,” Gérard said as menacingly as possible.
Its almost no fun when you
don’t understand insults… how in the hell should I
gauge my level of angry response. Did he say
something about my mother? Or my appearance? Both of
which wouldn’t even hurt much anyway the way things
were now. The good thing was that he didn’t say
anything about pull-ups and or diapers, which I was
sure he would. He just apparently liked to call me
Amerloque, whatever that was.
“You were good
at math yesterday, how about this one…”
Gérard was doing something with
his hands and fingers. He was doing like a 1 + 1
dance, only using the middle fingers.. and showing
that 1 + 1 = fist in palm. It was like retarded
troll mathematics. I tried to stifle back a giggle.
My smirk didn’t go over too well with Gérard though.
He started advancing on me.
Marcel stepped forward and put
a hand on Gérard’s arm. He stopped and sneered at
you’ll just get in trouble again,” Marcel said
for it… she’s laughing at us. The way she did on the
street the other day!”
Apparently their was dissention
in the ranks. It seemed like mini-ass-hat was a
little more level headed then ass-hat. While I
watched their gibberish argument, I noticed a scurry
of movement out of the corner of my eye. Sophie had
noticed me and the moment our eyes met, she ran for
the school building, bumping into a few other
students that happened to be in her way.
A girl stepped in front of me.
even for you two. Picking on a girl,” said Papillon.
and pointed. “That’s not a normal girl.”
she won’t run when you threaten her?”
A girl who was somehow vaguely
familiar had stepped in front of me. I walked to her
side and looked at her curiously. It was the girl
whose house I’d stopped at a few days ago. She was
sticking up for me?
won’t back down to verbal threats because she
doesn’t understand them,” Gérard said, grinning
evilly. He started advancing on me once again. This
Marcel did not stop him.
“Ummm… this does not look like
forward progress for peace,” I said with a frown as
Gérard walked up to me. The girl looked at him
to hit a girl now? What the hell is wrong with you?”
Papillon shrieked angrily. She looked like she was
about ready to hit Gérard herself.
“I’m not going
to hit the Amerloque… I’m just going to,” his arm
shoved me stiffly, “shove her a bit.”
Pushing me, my body jerked a little in a
defensive reaction to keep my balance. Gérard smiled
at this result and was about to do it again.
“I’ve a mind
to beat you myself, you big sack of s**t. Why the
hell you picking on the new girl?”
“it’s” shove me,
This was just a game to them.
They were all laughing. The girl wasn’t but all the
guys were. I wasn’t in the mood for games, and it
stopped being a game as I balled my fist up and
connected it like a block of cobblestone to Gérard’s
left cheek. His friends gasped, but I didn’t give
him a chance to react, I used my forward foot to
kick the inside of his knee and shouldered him off
his feet. I didn’t do it hard enough to break
anything, but it was hard enough so that he’d be
walking that one off for a week. He fell over
backward. The girl roared with laughter and the boys
around him looked at me transfixed, but none more so
I shouldered my backpack, just
as the bell rang, and walked inside the building,
that same girl, clapping me on the shoulder and
babbling in French. Ahhhhh that felt good. I didn't
notice one of Marcel's lackies ran off in the other
direction down the hall.
Whines… 10 (Got tired of
counting in French)
By: CS Fox
Ah to be back in school… How I
foundly remember hating it back then too. If it’s
possible, I think I hate it more now. Usually when
you do something twice, you find it’s easier the
second time around… not for me though.
Maybe it’s the fact that my
second high school education is being given to me in
different circumstances. This time around, I’m an
outsider with few, if any, friends. I also can’t
understand anyone since I don’t speak the language,
and I seem to have a problem controlling my bladder.
Possibly the worst thing though… for my secondary,
secondary education, I’m having to take it as a
girl. Not mentally… but… physically… I’m in a girl’s
body… Your guess is as good as mine as to how this
As for the here and now; I’m
walking with a girl named Papillon. I discovered her
name somewhere in her long inane babbling. It was
the only word I soaked up as her tidal wave of
speech washed over me. Everything was just sort of
chatter that I was pretty good at ignoring by now. I
know that sounds kind of mean for me to say, but
this girl knew perfectly well I couldn’t speak
French or understand her. She, like everybody in
this tiny town, seemed not to care I couldn’t
understand when they told me their life story.
Papillon was awfully impressed
with how I’d decked Gérard. She beat her fist down
into her hand and laughed each time as she re-lived
“I don’t ever
want to forget that moment. The look of surprise on
his face when you cracked into his jaw… Princeless.”
I began to suspect she’d had
beef with him in the past, and she really enjoyed
this comeuppance. Still, I guess it was good to have
someone impressed with me. It was something new, and
something that I really hadn’t expected to happen
I walked into class feeling
oddly proud. It was the morning of my second day at
this little school, and I realized just how little
it was. The other students whispered amongst
themselves as I went by. Apparently news travels
really fast, and my fight minutes before had made
I found Sophie at her desk, and
we made eye contact, but she quickly turned away. I
don’t think she was the happiest about the fight.
Papillon left me for her desk and the company of
some of her chatty friends who actually understood
her. I just took my seat and looked up to see that
Angélique wasn’t here. Marcel and Gérard were here
though. They were both at their desks, which were
dangerously close by. Gérard’s lip was puffed out a
little. I tried not to look at him, but smiled when
I caught this small change in his appearance. “Take
that ass-hat,” I whispered to myself smugly.
The class talked and whispered
amongst itself for a few minutes until Angélique
finally did appear. As she came into the room,
everyone quieted down and started to take their
seats. All seats filled up, except one.
“Sorry I’m a
little late getting here,” Angélique said. “I had to
speak with our headmistress this morning…”
A smile grew
on Gérard’s swollen lips. No doubt his little crony
Louise had reported the fight to his teacher and the
headmistress… didn’t matter what Marcel wanted him
to do. All he had to do now was just sit back,
relax, and watch for storming nuns.
noticed the single empty chair. “Where is Louise?”
She inquired politely.
a little surprised. Louise should have been to the
office with her and headmistress.
“Oh well, no
matter… When they come around for attendance later,
I’ll let them know Louise is playing hooky.”
I noticed a peculiarity. There
was a boy missing in class. I don’t know his name,
but I know he’s one of Marcel’s little retarded gang
members. His absence didn’t affect me though, so I
just settled in and waited.
Class began just as it had the
day before. Everyone cracked open their books, I
shifted a little uncomfortably in my seat,
dreadfully aware of my pull-up underneath my skirt,
and I did my best to follow along in the foreign
Angélique dumbed it down a
little for me, but I was still very much lost
through most of it. I opened my book and looked at
the pictures. At one point, I tried to get Sophie’s
attention, but she ignored me. I think she knew that
Marcel and Gérard were officially watching anything
I did or anyone I talked too. Either that, or Sophie
just really didn’t like her translating task and was
taking it out on me.
Three and half hours of
boringness later, it was finally lunch time. I
stayed at my desk until Marcel and his lot had left,
noticing the mean look they gave me. With everyone
gone I went to Angélique’s desk.
“My class was
very chatty today. I think a lot of them were
talking about you… Second day here and already the
whole school is a buzz about you,” Angélique
said sweetly tossling my hair. I just grinned and
nodded, it’s the best thing to do when someone who
has reason to possibly be mad is happy with you
Angélique looked around the
room for a second, making sure no one was in ear
shot, and no one was, since they’d left a minute
before for lunch. She looked at me,
“Now do you…
need to go to the bathroom? Did you use your
I blushed. I knew she was
asking me about my diaper, only she didn’t know I
hadn’t worn the diaper. I’d put on a pair of
pull-ups this morning instead… I discreetly patted
underneath my skirt and found them a little wet, but
holding up. I had a spare in my bag, so I told her
as best I could that I was okay, and that I was
going to the restroom.
“I think that
would be best, hurry off. Maybe you can prove me
wrong and not actually need that diaper.”
“Sure, whatever,” I said waving
her off as I left the classroom. I made my way to
the bathroom. I wasn’t really sure if I needed to
go, it just felt like it couldn’t hurt to try,
rather then just letting it happen as the day went
on. Besides, probably wouldn’t hurt to change into a
dry pair of pull-ups.
Coming around the hall corner,
I found Marcel’s gang. Only they weren’t looking at
me. They were helping someone out of a wall locker.
I pressed myself to the wall and watched as they
tugged free the boy who’d been missing in class.
the hell did you go? Did you report the fight to the
Headmistress?” Gérard asked.
The boy looked slightly
contorted, having been stuffed in the locker for a
few hours. Marcel kicked the boy in the shine and
looked sternly at Gérard.“Idiot, I
told you not to report it. You’ll both get nailed if
the headmistress finds out.”
Marcel hit Gérard across the
jaw, not nearly as hard as I had, more like a hard
tap. Spooked him a bit.
“Never tell me to shut up big brother. I’ll kick your ass.” He
turned to the boy who’d been rescued from the
locker. “Sorry this happened to you Louise, but seriously, you knew I didn’t
want this reported, you need to listen to me next
time, not ox head my brother. But still, who did
this to you? Was it the American girl?”
The locker-boy shook his head
no. I think they were questioning who’d stuffed him
in the locker.
Cyprien and Jeanne. The jumped me as soon as I
started running for the headmistress office.”
What the hell do they care about you for?”
“I… I dunno…”
I felt a hand grab my shoulder.
I turned and nearly screamed in fright finding
Papillon there. She held a finger up to my mouth, to
show me I needed to be quiet, and luckily I had
enough sense not to make any noise. The ass-hat club
hadn’t noticed me thus far and so I creeped off with
“You just look
for trouble, don’t ya?” Papillon said admirably.
“Those boys aren’t your biggest fans, and yet you
follow them around.”
I still didn’t understand this
girl, so I just changed the subject of whatever she
was talking about. “Sorry, I don’t really know what
you mean, and I wasn’t doing anything more then some
harmless eavesdropping on the ass-hats.” She looked
at me blankly, and we kept walking the long way
towards the lunch hall. As we got near I spied the
bathroom and made to head inside. Papillon followed.
I locked myself in one of the
stalls and pulled down my pull-ups so that I could
sit down and take care of business… Once again I was
somehow fortunate to do… um… two… on the toilet. Its
weird cause I can’t usually feel the need, but I can
seem to control it a little… I dunno.
almost done?” Papillon asked.
I blushed and immediately
pulled up my wet undergarment. If she looked at the
right angle, she’d certainly see it. “I don’t need
you here, or to wait for me, or whatever you want. I
didn’t ask you to follow me in, you just did.” I
called out. It didn’t make her leave though.
I tried to figure out what to
do. I had a spare pull-up in my bag, but changing
into it would mean I’d have to throw the wet one
away, which I couldn’t do with Papillon waiting
outside the stall. I frowned and didn’t change it.
“Took you a
while, come on, Lunch is already half way over.”
I went to go wash my hands.
Papillon looked around to make sure no one was
nearby for a second and came to whisper to me.
“What was it
my mom gave you when you came to visit? I think I
know what it was… and if its what I think it was…
I’ll tell everyone you have a problem if you tell
them I used too. They um… weren’t even mine in the
I stopped washing my hands and
turned to Papillon. “English… Learn to speak
English.” I said. She tilted her head at me and made
sort of an “oh” face and nothing more was said.
We went to the lunch room and
got lunch. Papillon wanted me to sit with her
friends at her table. But, with the morning I’d had,
I politely waved the offer off, and found Sophie
sitting by herself. Whatever had happened to make
her like me even less then usual needed to be
remedied, because at the moment, she was the only
one in school who spoke English.
I sat down across from her with
my tray and she looked up with a glare from her
reading. Without saying a word she closed her book
and got up to leave.
“No wait… Please, I’m sorry for
whatever made you mad.”
“Don’t be sorry when you don’t
even know why,” she said.
“That’s what bugs me more, I
really want to know why you’re mad. I can’t stand
not knowing why someone is mad at me, especially
when that person is the only one who can understand
“I just want to be left alone…
and you don’t understand that… no one does. That’s
why I’m mad.” And with that she stormed off.
I sighed and slumped down in my
chair. I played with my fork in the fruit mix or
whatever it was and wondered how I could get her
back to the cordial level she’d be at when I first
met her. I needed an English speaking friend. After
I’d sat thinking for a few moments, a piece of
carrot landed on my tray. I rolled my eyes,
ass-hats… Least they couldn’t aim.
After lunch I snuck off to the
bathroom. The first one I came to had two girls
smoking in it. They had their backs to me, so I
quickly ran off to another. I managed to get into my
dry pull-up and get back to class without being
Afternoon class was way better
then morning class. I was able to show off once more
in Math. Just like yesterday Angélique started class
with some tricky upper level math question… I smiled
because I knew she was testing me again. I didn’t
Somewhere in the lesson, I wet
my pull-up. I was mid-way through some graphing when
I felt my seat get a bit warm. My face flushed red
and I stopped my pencil to check and see if anyone
had noticed… I waited and luckily everyone was
engrossed in their lesson. Heaving a sigh of relief
I went back to work. Towards the end of class
though… my pull-up had leaked a little. There’s a
fine difference between the moist feeling of the
padding, and the wet feeling of pooled pee. I was
definitely feeling a little bit of the wetness, and
my skirt also started to feel a little damp on my
I dropped my pencil, and then
hesitated on picking it up. Angélique looked up from
her desk, giving me a questioning glance. I was
about in tears, but to my absolute good fortune, the
bell rang a moment later, and the class slowly
started to leave. I sat perfectly still, not daring
to move an inch.
Alouette,” Papillon said to me as she walked by.
She paused to pick up my pencil and put it on my
desk before she left, giving me a slightly weird
look since I didn’t say anything and just sat very
Sophie was one of the last
people to leave and Angélique stopped her before she
tried to be as nice as she could, knowing she was a
bit mean the day before. “I want you to take your
math seriously with Alouette, I really think you
both can help each other out. She doesn’t have a lot
“I’m sure she
has plenty after what she did this morning…”
“What do you
her eyes, teachers could be really clueless
Sophie looked at me. Her and
Angélique were talking about something and I think
it involved me. She knows about my problem… she has
to given that I had an accident yesterday right in
front of her. Before she could say another word I
just blurted out.
“Tell Angélique I can’t get up.
My… my skirt’s wet.”
Sophie looked at me
incredulously. “Why is your skirt….” It dawned on
Angélique looked at us both and
then focused on Sophie.
“So are you
going to study then? What did Alouette say?”
Once again she was caught in the middle. “She said
that… she can’t get up.”
Angélique walked up to me. I
tried not to meet her gaze. I think she was about to
find out that I didn’t wear what she’d asked me to
wear. She took my hand and yanked me up out of my
seat. I yelped a little and put my hands over my
rear to try and hide what I knew was probably there.
wet.” Angélique said matter-of-factly to me.
Sophie shrugged, that’s what she was going to say if
given the time.
My eyes went wide and I quickly
tried to bring my hands around to the front as
Angélique lifted up my skirt right in front of
Sophie. It was only a few inches before Angélique
noticed what I was wearing and she stared sternly at
me. Sophie looked slightly aghast.
I pushed down my skirt from
Angélique’s hands and quietly said “non.” I’d rather
not be chastised in front of someone. “It… just
“Well, I see
you haven’t made any progress at all, and that you
didn’t listen to me this morning. Now do you see why
I think you need to be in diapers?” Angélique
said while poking at the wet part of my skirt. I
understood “diaper” and from her example of my wet skirt, I understand her
complete lack of faith in my bathroom habits.
Sophie asked in her soft voice. Angélique and I
turned to see her standing there, and everything
suddenly got really awkward and embarrassing…
Angélique looked like she was about to say something
but I walked to Sophie first.
“It’s a really long story…
I…wasn’t always…”I felt tears welling up, and quickly stopped
the story. I forgot that she didn’t believe it yet
doesn’t have any bladder control. She’s wet herself
every day for almost a week and as far as I know,
has all her life,” Angélique said calmly. “You saw
her do the same thing yesterday.”
“You need diapers?” Sophie
asked me cautiously. I wanted to say no, but I just
shook my head yes. I think Angélique took it as a
small victory her way too.
“Please don’t tell anyone.”
It took a little while for
things to get straightened out. Angélique and Sophie
talked for a little while. Sophie got emotional
about it, and made a few wild hand gestures at me
and Angélique every now and then. I just sat holding
the ends of my skirt down and waiting for the
hallway to clear of people.
When it finally had, Angélique
sent us out. I held a book over my butt as we snuck
off with my wet skirt to the gym. Sophie had a spare
skirt in her gym locker.
Angélique was mad, and I think
she wasn’t looking much to help me out. Usually she
was down right motherly when dealing with my
embarrassment because of an accident, but today she
seemed to leave me on my own since I’d disobeyed
“What did Angélique say
earlier?” I asked Sophie, in the hopes she wouldn’t
be upset with me from lunch. Seems everyone’s upset
with me lately.
“She didn’t know you were in a
fight this morning, and I didn’t tell her. It would
just make more drama if she knew…”
“Thanks…” I said dryly.
“She also wants me to get math
tutoring from you, and for me to help you with
Her voice was still a little
shy and low, and I looked at her hopefully. “Could
you… help me? I don’t care much about the French,
I’d be happy just having someone to talk too who
“I…” she sounded sad but
slightly annoyed. “I just wanted to be left alone.
All you’ve done is attract attention to yourself.
Your different, your new, you fight… you wet
I stopped walking and felt
tears well up again. “That hurt…” I said softly.
She raised her voice a little,
“well you do! Why are we going to the gym right now
if you don’t? Angélique wants us to be best friends.
Do you know what that’ll mean?”
I didn’t answer.
“It means that I’ll be
associated with you… Whenever you get attention, my
name will be tagged on, and people will bother me…
What if they find out you’re going to be wearing
diapers, the first thing they’ll ask themselves is
if I do too. I don’t want any attention! Ijust…”
“Don’t want to be bothered,” I
said finishing her sentence and feeling a little
tear. I’d never had to ask for a friend before… Even
worse, I’d never been shot down by one. I pushed
past her at a jog and made for the bathroom. I
couldn’t really stop the tears now. She was right. I
couldn’t control myself and I needed to wear
diapers. If I wasn’t already the center of every
conversation, if my secret broke, I’d have no chance
of ever fitting in.
Second day, second time… I
found myself on the exact same stall in the ladies
room. Crying quietly to myself. My skirt was still
wet, but it was probably going to dry by the time I
got out, so it didn’t even seem to bother me that
I heard the bathroom door open
and the soft shuffle of feet. Sophie spoke up.
“Like you, I don’t want to be
bothered,” I said as coldly between tears as I
She was quiet for a little bit,
before opening my stall door and looking at me. Her
expression was hard to place. I don’t think she was
used to having to deal with anything like this
before. She was just a quiet girl and suddenly she’d
be thrust into a loud situation. She took off her
glasses. I wasn’t buying it.
“I think I understand why you
don’t want to be bothered,” I said. “Because you
She screwed up her face in a
“I knew people like you back
when I first went to high school. You were so quiet
and lonely that somewhere along the way you gave up
trying have a friend accept you.You’re defensively solitary. People don’t
concern themselves with you, so why should you
concern yourself with them?”
Her face changed somewhat. I
don’t think I was making the shot, but I was hitting
the backboard. Her voice hit normal level and she
quickly put her glasses back on. “You don’t know
anything about me.”
“Your right! I don’t! But I
wanted to. You speak English, and so do I. That puts
you leaps and bounds ahead of anyone else if I had a
choice of making friends with. I’m sorry Angélique
is pressuring you into the situation, and if you
want, I won’t be your friend, I’ll just be your hard
ass math tutor. I’ll be..”
“I don’t need any friends or
any math tutors. Okay?” she said interrupting me.
“Sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I just want to
be left alone. I don’t want any attention, I don’t
want any friends.”
She started to walk out, but I
got out of the stall and stood behind her. “That’s
because you’ve never really had a friend isn’t it?!”
I shouted at her.
Her reply was something of a
muffled roar as she tackled me. Her hand grabbed
some of my hair, my hand grabbed some of hers, and
we tugged like mad.
“Take that back!” she cried. I
didn’t reply, but just stayed in the lock with her,
occasionally making a whimper or general noise of
pain as my hair was pulled. She yelled again, “I
said take it back!”
“Its true isn’t it?”
“No, everything was great until
I came to this school. I had friends in
Paris, but no one wanted to
be my friend around here!”
“I want to be your friend!” I
said as I pulled extra hard.
“No you don’t!”
“Yes I do! And if you don’t
take your knee off my abdomen or I’ll leak all over
your skirt too.”
Sophie started cracking up. She
let go of my hair, and slumped backwards. I did the
“I think I would have preferred
if you’d hit me in the jaw like I did Gérard, rather
then pull my hair…” I said while patting my head.
Stings a bit.
“I never thought someone would
fight me for friendship… I don’t even know if it is
“I’ve had plenty of friends I
wanted to beat up all the time. You’ll get used to
it. And you’ll also get used to the fact I’m going
to have to bother you… and bother you a lot, since I
can’t speak French.”
Sophie’s laughter died down. “I
don’t want any attention.”
“You think I want attention?
That I want a fight every morning? That I want
people to know I piss myself? Trust me, if I could,
I’d fade into gray like you.”
Sophie frowned, but paused a
moment in reflection. “Are… you… really going to be
able to help me with Math?”
“Yeah, that’ll be easy. Are you
going to be able to deal with me being around?”
“No, that’ll be hard. But I
will… I mean… I’ll try my best.”
I got up and offered her a
hand, helping her to her feet. “I can deal with
that.” And with that… I’d made my first real friend
as a girl.
My skirt was dry now so we
didn’t bother going to the gym for me to change. We
headed for the library, and since we’d wasted so
much time, Angélique came in to get me only like 10
mins after we’d started with her Math lesson. She
also picked at my hair a little bit and I assume she
asked why it looked askew, but Sophie replied for me
with a wink and Angélique did ask anything further.
She took me home and brought me
straight up to my room. She wasn’t amused about the
diaper taped to her door and so for the rest of the
evening, didn’t give me a dress or skirt or anything
to cover the diaper she put me in. Through dinner
and homework, she grumpily enforced me to wear just
a t-shirt and diaper, which I did without wanting to
add more to whatever number of fights I’d had both
verbal and physical today.
As I was finishing up my
homework, the phone rang. It scared me a bit because
it hadn’t happened often since I’d been here. My
mind immediately started to race with thoughts of
whom it could be… most of those thoughts worrying
about a stupid Inspector.
Angélique said happily as she answered the phone. I
scratched my head. Who was Leroy?
“Your going to
be back in town? That’s wonderful! You have to come
by for dinner tomorrow. No no, I insist. I’ve had
company the last few days… silly, it’s a girl, I’d
never replace you with another guy… Actually she’s a
young girl, one of my students now. Yep, you’ll meet
Who the heck is Leroy? I
couldn’t figure it out, but Angélique seemed excited
to hear from him. Indeed she was more sing song then
usual right up until she put me to bed. Whatever,
didn’t matter, I’d made a friend today, and at least
that was something.
By: CS Fox
I had the most pleasant dream.
It involved me, as a boy, and the university I
should have been at in
Paris. It was complete with
all the friends I’d made on the wine vineyard trip
and even that tour guide… so you can imagine my
surprise when I opened my eyes to find my tour guide
was actually Angélique stripping the covers off me.
“Non non!” I pleaded as I tried
to hold onto them.
“Oh come on,
every morning you do this. It’s a wonderful morning
and you’re half way though the week now,”
Angélique said. She successfully wrestled the covers
away from me. “Abuse abuse?” she asked in a cheery
voice while looking at my diaper.
I frowned heavily. “Yes! Abuse
abuse! Anyone forced to wake up and go to school
when they’ve already gone, and to wear diapers and
be a girl and all that crap… is most certainly
dealing with abuse abuse!”
Angélique rolled her eyes and
laughed as she pulled me from the bed. She pointed
me towards the bathroom and got to making my bed.
All I could think was that whatever makes her this
cheery in the morning should be banned.
I bathed. It had only been a
few days since I’d been here, but I was already
starting to fall into a routine. In a scary way, my
body was even starting to seem… well less of a shock
to me as it had first been. Maybe after a little bit
of time, things just become familiar.
When I had finished I came back
to Angélique sitting on my bed with diapering
supplies next to her. I groaned, but after
yesterday, I was kind of expecting a reaction like
“I’m going to be diapered all
day today aren’t I?” I asked solemnly. Angélique
didn’t say anything but tried her best to smile and
patted the spot next to her, the spot where the
diapers were. Guess that answers my question.
I let my towel fall and lay
down on the bed. Angélique was appreciative of my
cooperation and I just swallowed a bit of my pride
and waited as she got to work. A part of me wondered
if I’d be able to hide this. The pull-ups were
quiet, didn’t make a single sound. A disposable
diaper on the other hand… I’d be making a tell-tale
crinkle if I wasn’t cautious.
Angélique started humming a
certain song about my name as she pulled the diaper
up. I growled at her and did my best to let her know
I didn’t find it very funny. She smiled and patted
That should cover you in case of accidents.” She
made a show of putting a few more in her schoolbag
as I got up off the bed. I felt a little odd
standing there naked except for a diaper. Some
modest instinct had my arms folded over my chest,
but I still wondered if I’d be able to make it
through school like this. “Go
ahead and get dressed and I’ll do the same. Meet you
in the kitchen.” And with that she left me to
get ready for school.
It didn’t take very long. The
choices of what to wear were pretty obvious, since
it was a uniform school. I considered myself a bit
lucky that the diaper I was wearing wasn’t extremely
bulky and that my skirt did go down far enough to
amply cover it. I walked back and forth across the
room a few times to test out the sound level and
found it wasn’t that bad if I moved slow enough.
We met in the kitchen and had a
quick breakfast before gathering our supplies and
walking off to school. Today Angélique was a bit
more talkative and pointed out some more stuff in
the town, using her watered down French for me.
Things like dog, “le
chien” andvarious other objects we
encountered on our walk. Truthfully, I wasn’t
listening to her much, I was listening for any
noises I made as I walked.
“If you need
a change, just come and get me okay? I can either
give you supplies to change yourself or I can sneak
you into the teacher’s bathroom.”
little show, I could tell Angélique was
trying to tell me something about my diaper. She
kept indicating the ones in my backpack so I guess
she meant something about needing them changed. I
just nodded, wasn’t like I could disobey her on
whatever demand she was making anyway.
yard was abuzz as usual with my arrival. I had
become some sort of an overnight mini-celebrity. I
was feared and respected, and of course outcast all
at once. The only ones to approach me were Sophie
and Papillon… and Papillon only came over to say hi
and let everyone around know that she “knew” me, to
boost her opinion poll or whatever… I dunno, there’s
playground politics that baffle me, truthfully I was
just happy to see Sophie approach me willingly and
walk with Angélique and I into the building.
into the class and something was immediately wrong.
I had been hoping for a lot of noise, so that I
could avoid any crinkling, and under normal
circumstances, they’re should have been a lot of
general noise until class started, but today… today
there was a Nun in the back of class. The
headmistress to be precise. The classroom was dead
silent. This wasn’t going to be fun.
headmistress! You’re going to watch class today?”
Angélique asked with a smile.
headmistress looked bored. “I’ll be here for a
little bit, then I thought I might take Sophie and
our new student Alouette out of class for the
remainder of the morning. I want to give Alouette
some tests like you suggested and I’ll need Sophie
“Sophie…?” I whispered.
Sophie leaned over toward me.
“What are they talking about? I
heard our names.”
“The headmistress wants to give
you tests later this morning.”
“Tests?” I asked, slightly
“Tests…” Sophie shrugged. “I
dunno, she said she needs me to translate.”
I went straight to my seat and
sunk into my chair. This was just what I didn’t
need, more reason to stand out. Class got underway,
Angélique dove right in, and I did my best to just
stare and look like I understood what was going on
since the Headmistress was apparently keeping a
watch on me.
The only good thing to come out
of this was that it kept Marcel and his lot quiet. I
bet they had been brooding and watching me as I
walked in from outside with Angélique. Now, with the
headmistress in class, they were nervously trying to
pay as much attention as I was.
The lessons were boring and if
I didn’t know any better, were probably the same
lesson we’d had the day before, but I somehow
managed to get through them without looking like I
was off in space or sleeping. True to what Sophie
said, before the next lesson began, the headmistress
left. She told Angélique to send us a few minutes
later so that she could get the test ready. We left
on our own shortly after.
It was nice to have Sophie not
afraid or mad at me. It would also be nice to not
have to face the headmistress alone, even though I
knew Sophie would be caught in a crossfire between
us once more, and I gave her kudos for not looking
upset for the upcoming ordeal.
“So are you wearing another
pull-up today?” Sophie asked out of the blue in her
soft voice. It shook me out of my thoughts.
I blushed and quietly shook my
head no. “Diaper,” I said very very quietly. She
didn’t look surprised. “I… I can’t help it,” I said
trying to explain myself. She just shrugged and we
continued on ahead. I tried to change the subject.
“What do you think she wants to test me for?”
Her soft voice came again,
“You’re a math genius… Haven’t you noticed how much
more math we’ve done in class since you’re first
day?” she added a slight icy stare. Math was not her
“It’s what I majored in back
at… um… I mean it’s just something I’ve always been
good at. Stick with what you know right?”
“I suspect that’s what she’s
going to test you on.”
We entered the office and found
the elderly receptionist there. She stared at us
behind her wide rimmed glasses and nodded her
pointed nose to open chairs for us to sit in. We
took a seat next to another girl who was already
sitting there waiting.
This girl was someone I hadn’t
seen around the school before, because if I had, I
would have remembered. She was wirey thin, and tall.
She had raven colored long hair that seemed even
longer because she had to be 5’10” tall, which was
huge for a girl our age. She was at least a foot
taller then me and Sophie, and it made her look a
bit awkward even though she had a pretty face and
As we sat down she smiled at us
both, and Sophie smiled back and then made a point
not to make eye contact with her again. I noticed
this, but decided not to say anything in front of
this tall girl.
Caroline,” called the headmistress from her office.
The receptionist replied by beckoning the tall girl
to head in before us. I watched her go in.
“The headmistress has to talk
to Caroline before she gets to testing you,” Sophie
told me when she saw my questioning gaze.
“Who is she?”
Sophie paused for a moment.
I frowned, “Yeah, and?”
“Well… she’s… she’s a bit
I wondered if Sophie knew who
she was talking too. “Different how?”
“Stop making everything more
complicated, just explain it all. Who is she and how
is she slow?”
Sophie took in a breath and
sighed a little. “She used to be in our class before
you came here. She’s not slow like autistic slow,
she’s just… well it just takes her a while to
understand everything. She’s also kind of clumsy and
she was picked on a lot.”
I imagined someone picking on
that tall girl, and then the tall girl just flicking
them away like ants. She was probably 16 inches
taller then Marcel and like maybe 8 taller then
Gérard even. Sophie recognized the thoughtful look
on my face.
“No… she’s taller then us, but
she can’t stand up for herself. When Marcel, Gérard
and the rest made fun of her, she’d just stand there
and cry. They’d make fun of her because she was tall
and not as smart as everyone else.”
“That’s awful… Those dumb
jerks!” I said hotly. The receptionist looked at me
with an annoyed expression, she couldn’t speak
English and probably just thought I was being noisy.
I lowered my voice again. “Why isn’t she in our
“Her mom took her out of class
because she was made fun of so much. She didn’t have
a lot of friends and I think her parents just
thought it’d be better to home school her.”
Made enough sense, but I
thought about the way Sophie hadn’t looked at the
girl after the initial smile. “Did you know this
girl really well?”
“I… well I sympathized with
Caroline. But I…”
I knew that slightly pressured
look. “You didn’t want to be bothered right? Didn’t
want to make yourself a target?” I asked dryly.
The door opened and the tall
girl walked out and left the office. She wasn’t
wearing the school uniform so I guess she really was
being home schooled for now. The headmistress called
out and we were pointed into her office.
to sit at the desk in the corner,” the
headmistress said pointing. I heard my name combined
with pointing and took the instruction even though
she was talking to Sophie. She came up and dropped a
packet of papers on the desk.
says she’s above high school level of math and
possibly even college. And she even thinks Alouette
is a genius that we just can’t understand because
she’s American… I don’t believe it for a moment, but
I’m willing to waste my morning in the name of
fairness. Tell her that she has two hours to take
the test and that she better do it quietly and
without questions. I had Inspector Facet write
English instructions on the test.”
Her long explanation scared me.
It mentioned my name, the French word for American,
and Inspector Facet. All of which could be a very
bad combination, especially if the Inspector was
involved. I looked nervously to Sophie for
“She says you have two hours to
take the test. Inspector Facet translated some of
the instructions to English for you.”
I stared in disbelief at my
test. Inspector Facet had done some of the
instructions? This couldn’t be good.
Sophie, I won’t need you here any more. Head back to
class. I’ll send Alouette back when she’s done.”
Sophie nodded to the
headmistress and cautiously looked at me to try and
give some nod of encouragement before leaving the
office. The headmistress pointed at the paper, then
at the clock and made a “2” with her fingers. She
then went and promptly sat behind her desk to get
work done. I felt this nun didn’t have much of a
clue what Inspector Facet might have done to my
I opened my test and found some
marks in red pen scribbled into the side of the
Alouette. I’ve heard you’re awfully smart for a
runaway American. The headmistress asked that I
re-write the instructions here into English, which,
you’ll find I’ve done. Good luck… you’ll need it.
Something didn’t look right. I
started to do the first two problems. The
instructions he gave said to determine the length of
the missing side of a triangle drawn in the book.
After I worked it out I knew something was a miss
because it came out to be a large fraction, which
didn’t seem right given as everything else on the
page seemed to be relatively whole numbers. I think
my test had been sabotaged.
“Um… Headmistress?” I asked
looking at the nun. She slowly narrowed her eyes at
me and frowned.
She yelled. The sudden noise caused me to jolt a
little in my seat, and my diaper to get a little
warm. I went back to my test, figuring she wasn’t
going to help.
The inspector didn’t want me to
display my math talent, his base instructions were
wrong and they accounted for half the test. The
problems with easily identifiable mathematical
terms, things like “less than”, “square root of”,
“pi”, they were all doable, but the long word
problems, some of them were downright obvious stabs
“An American girl tells
everyone a lie five times in one day. If she is
taken away from her nice home and sent to a juvenile
detention center 50 kilometers away at an average
traveling speed of 45 k/h, how long will it be
before she is locked up and never heard of again?”
The message was pretty clear.
I did my very best to input
numbers in the ways that looked right, but even if I
was lucky, I could only really count on getting the
50% of the non-word problems right. I handed in my
test and left the office as quickly as I could. The
headmistress seemed glad I got out so quickly.
Sometime during the test, I
think I wet a little more, and I kind of hoped I
could get some help from Angélique before lunch. I
made it back to class just about when everyone was
getting up for lunch so at least my timing was on.
I waited by the door as the
other students went by. Gérard made a point to
shoulder me as he left the room and I just gave him
an empty sneer. Sophie stopped at the door.
“How’d it go?”
“Bad… My test was sabotaged.”
The class was just about clear
now. I motioned for Sophie to go, “I’ll explain
With everyone gone I walked up
to Angélique’s desk. She looked very happy and
expectant of me.
“How did your
tests go?” she asked with a big smile.
I’d seen her this excited with
the headmistress in the room earlier. I think she
wanted to know how my testing went. I shrugged and
tried not to dampen her spirits. “Don’t know how I
did,” I said with all honesty, and perhaps little
bit of faked enthusiasm. It seemed to satisfy her
for the moment.
I got to the more important
business for me. I went to the door and looked both
ways, and then came back to Angélique. I flipped my
skirt up quickly and then flipped it down. She
nodded and reached into a bag behind her desk.
She had packed a few diapers
into her school bag. She held them up and pointed at
me then her, but I didn’t get what she was meaning
and shook my head. She handed me the diaper and I
took it to go change myself. It would be easier this
way. I put it in my backpack and snuck out to the
A few minutes later I walked
into the lunchroom. I had a dry diaper on and had
managed to change in one of the stalls with no one
coming in to bother me, oh and thank god I’m
regular, took care of that business too.
The usual order was presiding
in the lunchroom. It was noisy and the same clumps
of friends and clichés were seated about in various
spots. This made it easy to single out Sophie who
was by herself.
I got a tray of food and went
to sit with her.
I sat down and quietly ignored
any looks we’d gotten. Sophie had a good table to
sit at, because either by design or accident, it was
about as far away from the asshats as could be.
“So what did you mean by
sabotaged earlier?” she asked.
I let out a sigh and took a
bite of food. “The inspector didn’t translate my
test right… he wanted me to fail.”
Sophie again didn’t look
surprise, but she did raise her voice a little.
“How.. how do you know?”
“One of the questions on the
test was about how fast a ‘lying’ girl would get
thrown into juvenile hall if she kept lying… It was
fairly pointed and obvious.”
“I could tell my dad. He’s
works with Inspector Facet.”
I shook my head no. “Inspector
Facet has a lot more credibility then I do. Who
would your dad believe; his co-worker or the strange
American girl who came out of nowhere?”
“I think I just have to wait
and see what he means to do. The tests weren’t
important too me anyway.”
We ate lunch in quiet for a
little bit. I could tell that while she didn’t like
getting glances from around the room in our
direction, she did at least enjoy not eating alone.
But then she started to look scared as two girls
They were a little older then
us, and they had somehow made their uniforms cover
the least amount of their body as possible. They
smiled as they stood across from us.
“If it isn’t
the quiet little book reader,” Cyprien said with a
sneer. Jeanne reached for Sophie’s book.
The girls didn’t look to be
very nice. One of them started to reach for Sophie’s
book, but I scooted it out of reach with my hand,
smiling at her.
Alouette, American troublemaker… We’ve really meant
to talk to you these last few days,” Cyprien said.
up. “We’ve admired you since you’re first day here.
You have as little respect for authority as we do.
Honestly, we wish you’d join us so we could have a
bit more fun around this town.”
I looked at Sophie. “Um.. who
are these girls and what are they saying?”
Sophie hesitated. The girls
looked at her and waited. I think they knew Sophie
could speak English and that I couldn’t speak
“You going to
tell her what we said?” Cyprien said impatiently.
“They’re names are Cyprien and
Jeanne. They’ve nearly been expelled like a billion
times and all they do now is make everyone miserable
and get into as much trouble as… as… as well as you
“Geeze, that’s a lot. What do
“For you to be a hooligan with
talking an awful lot. That’s a lot more English then
things we told her.” Cyprien said impatiently.
in with a frown. “Are you telling her bad things
about us little Sophie?”
They had interrupted Sophie and
I; and they were apparently not happy with Sophie. I
stood up and stared intently at them.
smiled. “Cool, come hang out with us. We’re just
about to take a smoke, want to join?”
One of the girls said something
at me and then lowered her shirt a little to reveal
a pack of smokes hidden in her bra. I rolled my eyes
and sat back down. Bunch of losers. “Go away, I’d
rather hang out with Sophie.” I made a shooing
motion with my hands. This didn’t please them at
turning us down to stay with a little ugly mouse
like you?” Jeanne barked.
Sophie didn’t say anything, she
just stared at the table. The girls weren’t leaving.
The one who had tried earlier reached for Sophie’s
book again. I made my hand into a fist and brought
it down like a hammer on hers.
“Leave her book alone and get
the hell away! Go smoke or something, I have enough
trouble without looking for more.”
The girl took her hand away
with a look of utter contempt toward me, and an
equal one to Sophie.
“You know, we
saved your hide Amerloque. One of Marcel’s friends,
Louis, was going to tell the headmistress about your
fight. We stuffed him in a locker to protect you.
Next time… if they fight you… expect us to be on
And the ho’s stormed off. I
shrugged and went back to eating. Sophie looked like
she’d just survived a bomb blast, and most of the
lunchroom seemed the same. It was a whole five
minutes before people stopped staring at us.
“No one’s ever stood up to them
before…” Sophie said in amazement.
“Well, it sounded like they
were making fun of you, and as you said, they get
into a lot of trouble, and I’ve already got more
then I could ever want. I just wanted them to get
“They said they got you out of
“Then they were lying, I’ve
never met them before.”
“About the fight yesterday,
they said they stuffed someone in a locker.”
I stopped eating. I’d seen
Marcel and his gang take someone out of a locker.
“Wait, what did they do to get me out of trouble? I
saw someone in a locker…”
Sophie stared at me a bit
incredulously and the lunch bell rang. We got up to
leave and started heading back to class. Sophie
tried to lead me with as few people near by as
possible. “They said that one of Marcel’s group was
going to tell the Headmistress that you’d been
fighting, and that they caught him and stuffed him
in a locker for trying to tattle on you.”
“The hell would they do that
for?” I asked. Sophie shrugged. I thought about it
on the rest of the walk back, and I realized that if
that boy had told, then I probably would not be the
headmistress’ favorite person right now. Not that I
Afternoon class was really
exciting. Actually, I’m lying. It was really boring.
After the tests this morning, I didn’t even feel
like doing math when that lesson rolled around. I
just stayed quiet with my head cradled in my arms on
my desk. I don’t know why but I was tired.
Class ended and Sophie and I
waited till everyone was gone. Angélique called us
up to the front and I prepared for the third time to
try and make it to the library.
“Sorry I won’t
be able to let Alouette tutor you today. We have to
go meet someone at my house this afternoon. You can
continue your lessons tomorrow though.”Angélique said with a smile. Sophie just
“What did she say?” I asked.
“No lessons today, you’re
meeting someone at home.”
“Its what she said. I dunno,
ask her,” Sophie said as she got her bag and headed
for the door.
“She doesn’t understand
anything I ask her!” I stammered as Sophie left,
waving good bye to Angélique and I. The idea of
meeting someone wasn’t setting well with me. Maybe
the results of my test were in sooner then I
We started home, and Angélique
chattered. She did belay my fears a little bit by
repeatedly mentioning Leroy, the person she’d talked
to on the phone last night.
“Leroy is kind
of sort of my boyfriend. He has business interests
here and comes to visit pretty often. He always
stops by with flowers or something. He’s a sweet
I was beginning to think that
Angélique had a boyfriend the amount of times she
said Leroy in our walk home. My attention was soon
pulled away from her argument though as I felt my
diaper get warm. I couldn’t actually feel that I was
going, just the diaper getting warm. I sighed
heavily and felt a little like crying, but kept it
in. I was almost used to it by now.
At home Angélique seemed more
anxious then I’d seen her before. She didn’t give me
any orders to do homework or to study. She just went
straight upstairs and busied herself in front of her
mirror. It even took a little bit of prodding to get
her to notice that I’d wet my diaper, and when she
did change me, she nearly put the new diaper on
Alouette, I just haven’t seen him in a while, and
it’ll be nice to have a boy around for a little
while. Not really sure how I’ll explain you though.”
I put on some of my boyish
clothes. A plain logo tee and a slightly longer then
usual skirt (the jeans weren’t working well with the
diaper, which didn’t make me happy). I went
downstairs and doodled on paper. Without having
something to do or fret about, it was awfully boring
here. No TV, books in a foreign language, nothing of
interest really. I eventually took out my French
book and studied that for a little bit.
Sometime around dinner, there
was a knock at the door. Angélique flew down the
stairs to answer it.
“Leroy!” she cried giving a hug
to the man in the doorway. She stepped aside and let
him in. He had dirty blonde hair that was parted and
combed straight to both sides. He wore a suit and
somehow, seemed to fit the description “dapper”.
That and momma’s boy, I might add. Something just
didn’t look genuine about him.
“It’s good to
see you Angélique. It’s always so nice to visit your
town when I know I can see you here.” He smiled
and they hugged again. Then he noticed me.
this young girl?”
Alouette. She’s a… foreign exchange student, and
she’s staying with me for a while.”
is she from?”
The man smiled at me. “So
huh?” He said in good English. I smiled back at him.
He gets bonus points for that.
I started to say my name was
Anthony, but thought better of it, and said “I’m
“Heh, like the song?”
He lost some bonus points for
that (even though yes, I had gotten the name from
the song, I didn’t need to be reminded of it). He
came in and the two of them sat down and chatted in
French while I worked on my studies. I did keep an
eye on him though. I just.. something about him. I
soon found out what. I hadn’t been a guy all my life
not to know the way this guy was looking at
Angélique. He was eyeing her like beef on the rack.
“So how long
has she been here?” Leroy asked.
week. She’s a sweet girl, math genius too, but poor
thing has a drinking problem and gets into more
trouble then you’d believe.”
“Has a gift
“Well can she
stay home alone tonight?”
not, she’d run away again.”
“Run away again? She doesn’t want to be here?”
Angélique looked at me and took
in a deep breath.
confused sometimes. But I don’t think I can leave
her home alone.”
“Oh come on,
lets go somewhere. She’ll be fine by herself.”
Angélique playfully waved him
away. “You always try things like that, but it never gets you anywhere does
Leroy grimaced, but tried not
to show it (I caught it though).
“You know I
only kid, I’d never take advantage of a nice girl
“Which is why
I like you as a friend,” Angélique said with a
smile. Then looking at the clock and at me, she
asked if I’d like dinner (one of the few phrases I’d
gotten down). I nodded vigorously.
With some hesitation, Leroy
spoke up. “How about I drive you both to dinner? I’ll buy, and you can see my new
another new car?”
Leroy buffed his nails.
“Nice one too. Big back seat.”
silly, but dinner would be great! I’ll go get a bag
Leroy looked a little
surprised. “For what?”
I looked up as Angélique paused
mid-step on her way upstairs. She looked at me, then
at Leroy. “Um…
for Alouette… It’s a bit of a long story.”
“What do you
need handcuffs to keep her from running away?”
Angélique frowned, which caused
Leroy to look a little sheepish.
“No, for your
information, Alouette has a problem and needs to be
kept in diapers.”
Oh… my… god… I wanted to die.
Angélique had folded her arms and seemed to be
telling off Leroy, only her way of telling him off,
was to tell him my secret. His face immediately lit
up with this want to laugh, but he held it in as he
looked at me.
“So she needs to get you a
diaper bag?” he asked in a jolly voice. I felt like
spitting at him the way he said it, but found my
face glowing red with embarrassment. I couldn’t even
talk after being exposed like this.
Angélique noticed and came down
to put a hand on my shoulder and said she was sorry
(another word I understood now in French). She went
upstairs to get what I figured would be a “diaper
bag” which made me cringe and want to die even more.
This left Leroy and I alone.
Which… wasn’t great either.
“So… you wear diapers?” he
said, still seeming really amused.
“It’s not a choice pal,” I said
feeling a little hostile.
“Wow, not a nice girl either I
see. Bit feisty, but no worries, I like that.”
Creepo. Absolute creepo.
“So… why do you have to wear
I rolled my eyes. “Because I’m
trying to win a contest. If I wear them for two
weeks I win a million dollars and a trip back to
Leroy smiled. “Well lets see,
if she’s getting a diaper bag so that we can go to
dinner… That probably means that you’ll eventually
need a change. Ergo you use your diapers. Angélique
was right, poor thing.”
My mouth hung ajar. “Jerk,” I
said rather simply.
“See here you
two are chatting away. Something told me you’d be
good friends. Isn’t Alouette a nice girl?”
Angélique said as she came down the stairs. She had
reapplied her makeup and looked rather stunning.
Leroy laughed. “Angélique
thinks you’re a nice girl,” he said to me with a
smile. I frowned, but then thought about it. Okay,
nice girl I’ll be. I forced a smile as sweet and as
innocent as I could possibly make. It made him
doubletake and Angélique made a happy awww.
He tried not to let the stumble
“So did you get the diaper bag?” he asked with a
sneer. I heard diaper and knew he was being a jerk
again. I really didn’t like this guy and I’d known
him less then an hour. Angélique looked a little
flustered and ran back upstairs.
“Hold on, I’ll
get it! You two go get in the car. I’ll be right
“Well she wants us to go get in
the car,” Leroy said to me. I made a polite curtsey
and maintained my little innocent girl act. I made
up my mind. This dinner was going to be fun… unless
your name is Leroy, in which case, its going to be
I followed the jerk to his car.
He went to the driver’s side and hopped in. He
started the engine. It was a nice car, BMW of sorts,
dark blue. I stood patiently waiting by the
passenger side. I had a little idea. It didn’t take
him long to notice that I wasn’t getting in.
He opened his door. “What? Your
arms broken like your bladder? You can’t open the
door for yourself?”
I frowned and wanted to curse,
but I did my best to maintain composure and my
innocent girl act. “A gentlemen always opens the
door for a lady,” I said with another sweet smile.
“Oh Jesus Christ…”
“A Gentlemen doesn’t swear…”
“I wasn’t swearing, I was…
asking someone for help,” he got out of his car, and
stomped over to me. Then with all the grace of a
buffalo he yanked the door open and forced a smile.
“There is that better?” he asked as he put the seat
forward and let me climb into the back.
“Why thank you…” I said curtly…
and as he shut the door, I reached forward and hit
He got back to the driver side
and pulled on the handle which didn’t open for him.
“Hey.. what the? You locked the door!!” He yelled; I
smiled as innocently as I could. “Why you!!! UNLOCK
“Say your sorry for making fun
of me!” I yelled.
“What? Say I’m sorry for noting
that you piss yourself?”
I frowned and climbed into the
front seat. “Just because I look 15,” I said very
slowly and evenly. “Does not mean that I can’t drive
a stick and put this car into the side of a vineyard
up the rode.” And very briefly the thought of doing
that made me smile.
At that moment Angélique came
out of the house and looked at the scene before her
a bit curiously.
“What are you
A part of me really wanted to
put it in first and drive the hell away from there.
Actually, almost all of me did, but I knew that I’d
get charged with stealing a car and ruin the only
good thing I’ve got going for me and a world of
trouble blah blah blah… so I just unlocked the door
and hopped in the back, saying with a girlish laugh
Leroy didn’t look happy, but he
put on a good face and went to let in Angélique.
“Oh, what a
“I did the
same for Alouette too,” he said trying to sound
Whatever crap he was feeding
her, Angélique was eating it and looking for
seconds. He got in the car and we all went off to
dinner. I brooded on ways to get him.
By: CS Fox
“Try not to get the seat wet,”
Leroy said with a smirk.
I buckled my seatbelt and
discreetly flipped him the bird so that Angélique
couldn’t see me do it. “Try not to drool on
Angélique,” I shot back. Upon hearing her name
Angélique turned to see what I wanted, but I just
waved her off and slumped into the seat.
I hadn’t really known Leroy all
that long, but I did already know one thing. I
didn’t like him. He and Angélique wasted no time in
talking up a storm as we started driving to wherever
it was we were going. I suppose they had a good deal
to catch up on.
Personally I didn’t like how
buddy buddy and enemy enemy we seemed to already be,
and I’d only met him within the last hour. He seemed
to be very astute and caught onto things others
around me hadn’t caught onto at first. It was at
least something to note.
I looked out the window at the
dim lit town. It had been the first time since I’d
ridden in a non-police vehicle in a few days. A
thought crossed my mind and I smiled briefly when I
thought about actually trying to wet just to spite
the man driving if I did leak on the seat.
We pulled up to a nice bistro
of some kind. It was lit by string lights
criss-crossing an outdoor garden. It was kind of
pretty, lots of yellow and whites in the table
draperies and snappy looking waiters in black and
white. Our car was valet parked. I did my usual
quiet-emphasis movement as we came into a crowded
place so that I wouldn’t draw attention to my…
this is lovely. I haven’t eaten here in ages.”
Leroy nodded and patted
Angélique’s hand. He looked around for the host.
concierge, a table for three please,” he paused
for a moment and looked at me.
“And a booster
seat and child’s menu if you have one.”
Whatever he said, Angélique
caught it and frowned.
“We won’t need
those…” To which Leroy looked a little sheepish
and tried to play off what had been said as a joke.
I smiled because he’d obviously tried to pull
something jerkish off, and forgot that Angélique
could understand him when he wasn’t speaking
English. Hahah go Angélique.
A waiter led us over to a table
towards one of the corners of the enclosed garden.
It was dark out now, so we just had the string
lights and the candles on the tables to go by. Made
for a “romantic” atmosphere I suppose, but that
really wasn’t something I needed right now.
We all got seated; me sitting
between the two of them (intentionally). I took the
menu from in front of me and began to stare at page
and page of illegible French. Leroy and Angélique
just picked up where they’d left off.
“It’s great to
be going out with you again. My only real company
lately has been my little student here. She’s a
sweet heart really, you just have to wait things out
with her. She’ll surprise you in her own way.”
wonderful dear Angélique, but how have you been
doing? I understand and think its great that you’ve
extended your home to this young American, but how
“Oh I’m fine.
Just living in my small house, teaching my students,
just like I always have.”
should let me help you get your inheritance in
order. Last I heard you’re still just letting it sit
rolled her eyes. “Well I see money is still the only
thing on your mind.”
Leroy looked a
little hurt. “How long have I known you?”
“About 5 years
before you even got the money. I’m just saying you
should direct it smartly is all.”
smiled and laughed him away, “I’ll be just fine
Leroy. I don’t need fancy cars like you have, hehe
besides, I’ll just ask you to take me around in
yours if ever I have a need.”
I wasn’t very sure what to
order. The whole menu was in French. But I did
understand that Leroy was footing the bill, so I did
what any nice little girl would do. I decided to
order the most expensive item I could find. No clue
what it was, I was just going to point to it when
the waiter came.
There was a pause in
Angélique’s conversation and she stopped to look a
few moments at her own menu. While she wasn’t really
looking at me, Leroy handed me another menu with a
big dumb grin on his face. I rolled my eyes, not
really thinking and took the menu. Opening it I got
the sudden urge to flip him off again. Ha… ha… wine
menu, so funny.
“I bet you think this is
funny?” I said sardonically to him.
“What?” He replied innocently,
and with a sly grin.
Then something hit me. Did he
know? Did Angélique tell him about my insinuated
drinking thing? She probably did… but… there was
something in that grin. Was he just being astute
again, or did he know more?
Angélique started to lower her
menu and I quickly threw the wine menu to the floor
behind me. No need getting her all excited by false
impressions once again. Leroy chuckled to himself.
A waiter came by and left a pot
of tea and cups for all of us. He also left a bowl
of fresh bread. I was a little impressed, never
gotten free tea before a meal. I took the pot and
opened the top looking in. Looked good enough.
like to serve the tea Allouette?”
I heard my name and looked up
at her questioningly. Leroy grinned, “She asked if
you want to serve us tea little lady.”
I shot him an icy look, but
forced a smile and nodded to Angélique. I’m a nice
girl, at least tonight I’m going to be. Leroy and
Angélique started to talk about something again, and
I just took their tea cups and got the pot to pour
business this week is pretty casual. I’m meeting
with some of the vineyard people to discuss new more
“Can you ask Angélique if she
wants sugar in her tea?” I asked Leroy, interrupting
him. He looked slightly annoyed, but asked her and
she did. So I poured her tea and added a spoonful of
sugar. “Would you like some jerkface?” I asked with
an innocent smile, interrupting him once again.
He grinned politely, once again
masking annoyance. “No feisty little lady, I’m not
that big a fan of sweet things,” and went back to
chatting with Angélique. I added three spoons of
sugar to his tea.
“As I was
saying, I’m going to be dicussing new more interna…”
“Bread anyone? Buttered or with
jam perhaps?” I asked interrupting yet again. It was
getting a little harder for Leroy to hide his
annoyance. He asked Angélique and then turned to me.
“Buttered for me, Jam for her.”
“Oh right, no sweet things for
you,” I said innocently and curtly went about
preparing the bread. Putting jam on all three
“What were you
saying then?” Angélique asked politetly. Leroy
opened his mouth to say something but looked kind of
“Damn it all I
Well I’m helping the local vineyards get more
international distribution. Most of the local stuff
France, but I think
they could turn a much better profit if they started
to ship outside our borders.”
I put little plates with bread
in front of everyone and little cups of tea next to
those. I decided not to interrupt them this time as
they chatted back and fourth. Leroy did however
reach for the cup of tea when Angélique was saying
something and took one sip and made a grimace. Oh
man what a smile I had.
He looked at the cup of tea,
and then the plate with bread and jam. Angélique
looked at him questioningly and he shot a dirty look
to me. But I was an innocent sweet little girl.
wrong?” Angélique asked, taking a sip of her own tea
and finding it to her liking.
“No, just as I
like it.” He said between gritted teeth.
About this time the waiter came
over, and I took pleasure in pointing to my meal
which ran 60 euros. Didn’t seem to affect Leroy
though, but I didn’t care. I’d have good food
tonight at least.
We settled back and I went to
eating bread and drinking tea, while Leroy and
Angélique still continued to talk about something.
After a few minutes they quieted down and Leroy
turned my way, forcing a smile.
“So, Alouette,” he said. “What
do you think of
“Bites. But that’s only because
I’ve spent time here with people like you.”
He grinned. “I’m sorry to hear
that, at least you have Angélique.”
I rolled my eyes, but nodded to
concede the point.
“Do you know why I’m here?”
“To play grab-ass with
Angélique?” (I’m glad Angélique couldn’t understand
what I am saying, because I know she would have been
appalled at my language.)
Leroy smiled. “Feisty Feisty.
Think you know so much for a 15-year-old don’t you?
Well, I’m here to organize some trades with the
vineyard’s outside town.”
I froze… and I felt a shiver
run through me… I think even my diaper got a little
“Oh nothing, just business
deals,” he said with a smile. I didn’t know what to
say… or honestly what to think.
Angélique looked around
cautiously and then leaned over to me.
diaper doing?” she asked. I understood it having
heard it enough. I blushed, because I was actually
kind of wet, I think I’d been wetting a little all
evening without having noticed it till Leroy spooked
Angélique reached to the diaper
bag and fished me out a diaper, trying to pass it to
me covertly. Leroy noticed and heard us talking well
“Need some help Alouette?” he
asked slyly. I stared at him as coldly as I could.
“That’s sick,” I said in a
voice that even surprised Angélique. I think she
understood that he had said something snide by the
tone of my reply and she slapped his hand lightly.
He just grinned and I quickly ran off to the
bathrooms. Had to ask where they were but luckily by
now I’d learned that word too.
My dinner was exquisite. I’d
managed to order some type of steak with dressing
and it was amazing. Best thing I’d had in
so far. The male company was rubbish, but hey, free
There was more chatter that
went kindly enough between Leroy and Angélique. I
refused to speak to the jerk again. Every time he
asked me something I just pretended he wasn’t even
there. Truthfully I was in thought, wondering how
much he knew, and if he did actually know anything
at all. I was beginning to think his coming to see
Angélique wasn’t a coincidence, but what did it all
We left the restaurant and
headed back to Angélique’s house. I was still being
quiet, but I was being pushy enough to keep jerkface
away from her with his obvious advances. On the
upside I don’t think she seemed comfortable with his
spending the night anyway. So she said good bye, and
I flipped him off again from behind her, and he
Angélique was in a cheerful
mood the rest of the night though. It was a little
infectious, but at the same time I was upset because
I really wanted to tell her what I thought about him
and what I thought he knew, but right now it was all
conjecture and she didn’t even believe my story in
the first place, let alone understand me if I told
her my side of it.
I just tried to perk up for
her, and not ruin her good mood. She had me change
into my nightie and changed my diaper on my bed. It
had been just about casual the way it happened.
She hugged me, still in her
happy mood and tucked me in to sleep. Didn’t take
much for me to sleep, it had been a long day… Every
day in France had been a long day as a girl…
I was also slightly blessed to
have a dreamless and deep sleep. It wasn’t long
enough in my opinion, because I wished that every
day I would just wake up out of this terrible
nightmare and be a guy again.
Thursday! You’re past the middle of the week
Alouette! Time to wake up, come on, up up up!”
Some people have birds outside
there windows, or even over-friendly cats and dogs
to wake them up. Me… I’ve got an ever-morning-happy
French women. I pulled the pillow up and over my
“Non-non!” I mumbled; as much a
routine as my diaper changes. But she was more then
ready for this. In short order she had me out of bed
and was pushing me by the shoulders into the
bathroom for my customary morning bath.
I bathed, and came back to the
bedroom. Angélique was waiting there for me to lay
down so she could diaper me. Being as I’d only
started wearing during the day yesterday, I don’t
think she trusted me just yet to put them on myself
in the morning.
She powdered me and taped me
up, and I got on a bra and my uniform to head
downstairs to breakfast.
“I wonder if
the Headmistress will have your tests graded today?”
Angélique mused to herself. I didn’t really
understand her, but I did understand headmistress
and figured she was referring to my visit yesterday
which she’d been so excited about.
I shrugged, knowing that the
tests wouldn’t come back the way she expected them
too. We left the little house and began our trek to
school. Along the way, someone stopped to meet us.
It was the tall girl I’d seen in the office
“Oh! Why hello
Caroline! Haven’t seen you in a while,”Angélique said
to the young girl.
Angélique smiled but a little
“You don’t have to call me teacher any more… You’re
not in my class now, so please, just call me
The girl nodded.
“Now how is
your home schooling going?”
actually what I came to ask you about…” the girl
said. She also ventured a look my way. Angélique
caught it and smiled.
“Oh silly me,
forgot to introduce you two. Alouette this is
Caroline, a former student of mine, and Caroline,
this is Alouette, an… exchange student from
America… but she
can’t speak French so don’t be surprised if she
doesn’t reply to something you ask her.”
well hello Alouette!” she said extending a hand
I looked up at the girl. She
was my age, but being 5’11 at age 15 made her a
giant. I looked up a little intimdated at the skinny
girl who easily had a foot on me.
“Um… Bonjour” I said nervously.
She smiled and gave me a hug like she’d been my best
friend for years. “Umm… okay…” I said while in the
hug. Angélique smiled.
She let go of me and turned
back to Angélique.
This time Angélique looked a
“Um… Hi… but
its Angélique now, remember?”
And I wanted to ask you about some stuff for home
“Yes, now what
would you like to know?”
Angélique smiled and shook her
head. Whatever this girl was saying, it seemed
amusing enough to her.
“Why don’t you
walk with us, and we can see if you remember on your
way to school?”
And we were walking again. The
tall girl Caroline was happily talking with
Angélique, about what was once again beyond me. I
caught from yesterday that she used to be a student
of Angélique’s and that she dropped out because she
was made fun of, but I still couldn’t believe that
anyone would pick on someone with so obvious a
height advantage on others her age.
We got to the school yard and
Sophie approached us, looking a little surprised to
see Caroline. I met her and just shrugged.
“She wanted to talk to
Angélique, but I can’t understand either of them.”
Sophie just shrugged back.
This works out great,” Angélique said happily.
Sophie looked confused to be
getting in the crossfire so early in the morning.
just remembered that her mom was looking for someone
to help her with Math lessons. You and Alouette have
been doing Math lessons… er… well have tried to do
Math lessons. Would you mind if you both had them at
Caroline’s house today after school? It would make
it easier for me since I wanted to speak with the
Headmistress after school.”
“What’s she asking?” I asked
Sophie. She translated and I shrugged again. “I
guess its okay as long as you’re there to help
translate to Caroline.”
There was more back and forth
and it was agreed to Angélique’s happiness.
great!” She said to Sophie and I. Caroline
“So they’ll be
at my house after school?” she asked happily.
“Yep, but not
for play. This will be Math lessons.”
Angélique, remember? Oh well, I need to go to class,
you three can chat a little bit if you want… Just be
to class on time.”
And with that Angélique left us
to head inside the building. Looks like this
afternoon I’d be teaching Math. Maybe for once, it
might actually happen, since I’d tried to do that
the last three days, but never actually managed too.
“I can’t wait
for you both to come by! No one’s visited me at my
house for a long time!” Caroline said excitedly.
Sophie nodded in her business
like manner and spoke in her soft voice.
“We need to
study though, right?”
“Right! But at
There was kind of an air to the
tall girl’s replies, like she was so excited she
couldn’t really keep up rationalization. I just
smiled at them both since I didn’t really understand
came a cold voice from behind us.
“If it isn’t
the three girl’s no body likes.”
We all froze. Caroline
whimpered and the three of us turned to find Marcel,
Gérard, their gang, Cyprien and Jeanne all gathered
behind us. It always seemed to happen as soon as an
authority figure left us.
Gérard and Cyprien said in unison. I didn’t
understand the word, but I knew it wasn’t good.
By: CS Fox
We all froze. Sophie held her
breath and Caroline whimpered aloud as the three of
us turned to find Marcel, Gérard and their gang,
standing with Cyprien and Jeanne, all gathered
Gérard and Cyprien said in unison. I didn’t
understand the word, but I knew it wasn’t good.
There’s an adrenaline that
rushes to you when you realize your personal safety
is in danger. Its something that happens when the
general order is about to be replaced with upheaval.
I was starting to feel some of that adrenaline as I
saw the looks on their faces. I didn’t hesitate to
step protectively in front of Caroline and Sophie.
This wasn’t about them really, they were just
victims of circumstance.
“Tell them we don’t want any
trouble Sophie,” I said calmly. Trying not to sound
slightly scared… although I was tough… I knew that
my body had limits and that this many other kids
would be over it.
“We… we don’t
want any trouble.” Sophie said, finding her
voice even smaller then usual.
“Is that what
she said?” Jeanne pointed her finger at me.
“Or are you
just saying that? Because this girl seems to love
“I don’t go to
school here any more…” Caroline said in a voice
about as soft as Sophie’s.
“I just came to say hi to your teacher.
“Oh but we’ve
missed you so Caroline. Every class needs a girl who
just doesn’t quite get it. Pity your parents had to
pull a girl like you out, but dumb girls do need
special treatment,” Marcel said with a smile.
Caroline sniffled and kind of
looked at the floor. I still stayed protectively in
front of them. “If you and Caroline leave… they
won’t follow, they’re here for me.” A crowd was
beginning to form around us. School yards can sense
fights the way you can see a storm gathering in the
Sophie hesitated a moment, but
she started to step back and tugged at Caroline’s
arm to pull her back too.
“Don’t worry Sophie, tell
Caroline I’ll make Marcel eat whatever words he said
Caroline heard me say her name
and looked at me with that same kind of sad look,
but maybe laced with something else… I dunno…
are you going Sophie?” Jeanne asked as she took
a step forward. I stepped right in front of her path
as I heard her say Sophie’s name in a threatening
tone. She paused and looked a little surprised, but
then smiled ruefully.
“Oh, so you’re
going to protect her?”
A part of me knew what I had to
do. I had to make a pre-emptive strike and scare
them all into believing I wasn’t playing around… win
before it started… but I knew doing that would doom
me. It would look like I was behind the fight. And
of all of them, I skated on the thinnest ice.
I made the worst frown I could
and stared down the slightly older girl. She brought
a hand up toward me, but I slapped it away. The
motion brought the others a step forward.
Jeanne… she CAN fight.” Gérard said.
The girl considered me a bit
more now… I stared her down as I became more aware
of the crowd’s murmurings. “Leave me alone,” I said
sternly, knowing they couldn’t understand me.
I felt two arms come up under
my own, attempting to put me in a full Nelson. It
was one of Marcel’s gang that had snuck behind me,
although he didn’t know that I was formerly a guy
and a master of immature moves like that. A little
bit of wiggling and struggling was easy enough to
get out of his grip and give him a nice solid punt
to the pills. He crumpled. At the same moment I felt
Jeanne grab at my hair and start to try and
hit/scratch me… She acts all tough, but I don’t
think she’d ever really been in a fight and she was
definitely displaying her girly tactics.
Bapping and scratching isn’t
much when compared to someone who knows better. One
of my hands clamped on hers, and tried to remove it
from my hair, because good god did pulling hair this
long hurt. The other I bent and elbowed her in the
chin… twice actually.
She stopped hitting my face and
put more effort into it. Now that we were tangled
and really going at it. Her hand found my… my… well
she grabbed my right tit and twisted as hard as she
There was something of a gasp
in the crowd, and a cry of agony from me. It was
easily equal to getting hit in the balls, pain wise.
I pumped my legs forward and pushed her down to the
ground, hitting her hands away from me with the
impact as she fell. Now I just went to work… once
you’ve been hit enough and devoted enough adrenaline
to a fight, it all just takes over you. I sat
straddling her midsection, and she was all but
powerless below me.
I’m not entirely sure exactly
what happened, but everyone started running away as
a teacher came running up. She grabbed me and pulled
me off Jeanne, who by now had a torn uniform, and a
small scratch or two on her face… not to mention a
runny nose and tears streaming from her eyes. Her
friend, as well as Marcel and his gang were just
kind of shocked and hesitated before yelling at the
teacher what I assume was their version of the
events as she struggled to control me.
Ten minutes later I found
myself right before the headmistress with Sophie and
Caroline (who had demanded to be there to speak on
my behalf). Also, representing the assholes was the
sobbing Jeanne, Marcel, and the boy who’s voice was
a little higher now that his testicles were in his
“Tell this new
girl that it’s been reported she was fighting!”
The headmistress snapped.
Sophie squeaked. “She knows you
I rolled my eyes and looked at
the obviously beaten Jeanne. “Duh.”
that I’m calling Inspector Facet!”
Sophie was about to speak
again, but I held my hand up to stop her. I heard
the name Inspector Facet, and knew what had been
said. Marcel looked at me oddly when she mentioned
“Can you ask her if we can
explain things first?” I asked Sophie. Sophie
is there to explain? I’ve got a beaten girl, every
student in the schoolyard and a teacher who saw you
fighting… what’s to explain!?”
There’s really no facial
expressions as spectacular as an enraged nun.
“GET OUT! ALL
OF YOU! I’ll call you in individually.”
We all hurried from her office.
Even Marcel looked a little scared. Hearing her old
headmistress that mad, and being part of the reason,
the tall Caroline just started crying openly.
idiot, you didn’t even do anything,” Marcel
The office attendant said behind her horned glasses
as she pointed for us all to sit in various chairs,
Things really didn’t go so
well. I wasn’t called in, and neither was Jeanne for
our side of the story. Everyone else was called in,
just not us two… I can’t figure out why she’d be
like that, but I guess of everyone, she trusts us
the least to tell the truth. I’m sure Jeanne had
seen the inside of the Headmistress’ office a fair
I just sat trying to figure out
if I was a dead girl(man) or not. The headmistress
was pulling the inspector Facet trump card, which
could mean all number of things, every one of which
bad. But I did have a little hope, I knew the
headmistress probably trusted the word of Sophie and
Caroline over that of Marcel and his crony.
Eventually Marcel and his Crony
were sent to class, although Jeanne had to stay and
sat on the other side of the waiting room, trying to
look tough and proud even though she looked like
she’d been run over by a car and I looked like I’d
just been in a slight breeze that had ruffled my
hair and wrinkled my shirt a little.
In her office,
the headmistress practically yelled the events of
this morning to the inspector. Making a demand he
deport or arrest this troublesome girl.
“I don’t know
if that would be the best thing Headmistress. Do you
really want me to send her away for just one little
“I thought you
hated her? You’re the one who personally told me to
keep an eye on her and to call you at the slightest
hint of trouble.”
“Well, I have
a better solution… There’s something about her that
you don’t know.”
headmistress calmed slightly.
“I think we
need her to switch classes… Let me tell you a little
I continued to wait patiently
in the office. It was the worst thing they could
have made me do. I hate waiting… especially when I
know there is a lot hanging in the balance… Sophie
and Caroline had been told they could go, but they
stayed and they didn’t look happy either…
Eventually Jeanne was called
back in and subsequently yelled at for about seven
whole minutes. She probably got every ounce of fire
and brimstone this old nun could offer up. She left
the office and passed us, tears streaming down her
face. She had a new uniform bundled in her arms and
she hurried off, probably to go change into it.
Then the headmistress called my
name… I was up next for the chopping block. Caroline
slowed down to a sob and tried to look brave for me.
Sophie sort of looked at me like she was saying “um…
please don’t die”. I just balled up my fists and
forced myself in there.
The headmistress looked strangely pleased,
as if yelling at Jeanne had been therapeutic. I was
expecting to walk into the devils den and find a
monster barely restrained about to tear me a new
one, but instead… I found her sitting and smiling,
just like the cat with the canary. I braced for
you come in too, I’ll need you to translate,”
the headmistress said softly as she got up to open
the door and wave her in. I just stood very silent,
very nervous in the middle of her office. I heard
Sophie’s name and silently thanked my luck, even
though I knew Sophie would have preferred to avoid
this type of situation. Still, I knew she was in the
clear, and it would help to have someone bear
whatever was about to happen with me.
Sophie came in and stood next
to me… I don’t know why, but I moved my hand till I
could lock my pinky finger around hers. She looked
at me strangely, but I didn’t look back… I was
shivering… I was really afraid, she’d called the
Inspector and he was probably on his way here to end
it all. The headmistress didn’t go behind her desk,
she walked up right in front of us.
the stories and I talked to the inspector… And… I’ve
decided you weren’t entirely at fault.”
Sophie perked up a little. “She
talked to everyone and says she doesn’t think you’re
entirely at fault.”
It was like a light through the
Inspector did bring something to my attention that I
hadn’t known before… something I can’t overlook
Sophie froze. I looked at her,
“What’s she saying? What’s she saying?”
In way of reply, the
headmistress’ hand shot out to the hem of my skirt.
My eyes began to widen as my hand tried to beat
hers, but it was no use, she lifted the hem of my
skirt to reveal my secret.
you look at this…” she said lifting my skirt
just enough so that she could see the disposable
diaper I was wearing. I tried to swat away her hand.
She frowned and slapped it.
She said sternly.I didn’t understand her, but by her tone, I
didn’t have too. She reached to my side and found
the clasp and buckle of my skirt.
Sophie gasped aloud as the
headmistress undid the clasp and let my skirt fall.
I was standing in her office wearing my uniform
shirt, and my diaper… and by the feel of it… I’d wet
it this morning since I’d left the house too. All
the excitement had nearly made me forget about it.
“So the tough
little American, who beats up the other kids and
presumes to be a math genius… is really just a
little Pisseuse.” (French term which literally
means "pissing girl").
The headmistress looked at Sophie.
Sophie looked down at her feet
and shook her head. The headmistress frowned.
I tell your father that you were causing problems
Sophie’s voice was very soft,
and she sounded like she was on the verge of tears…
I was too… “She’s making fun of you, and wants me to
translate it.” Sophie said. I just nodded and
sniffled. Figured as much.
she’s not in trouble. Little girl’s can’t control
their temper, and Inspector Facet said that since
she’s a little girl, we should just treat her as
“She says your not in trouble…
and that they’re going to treat you differently.”
I sniffled a little harder.
“What does that mean?” I asked. But the headmistress
held up her hand for me to be quiet.
The church connected to our fine school also has a
nursery. I told the Inspector to meet us there.”
Sophie suddenly looked worried.
“She’s taking you to the daycare nursery in the
chapple. Inspector Facet is waiting there.”
exclaimed as tears suddenly broke past the sobs. The
headmistress smiled and took my hand, yanking me to
follow her, which I did a little off balance for a
She marched out into her
waiting room. It was empty save the old lady and
Caroline. The old lady let out a wheezing giggle and
Caroline gasped which suddenly made me realize… I
was in a shirt and a wet diaper… I almost screamed,
but I didn’t want to bring attention to myself as I
was quickly brought out into the hallway.
Thank god classes were in
session and the hallway was empty. I tugged at my
shirt to try and hide my secret which was just about
futile. Sophie hurried out of the office after us
and the headmistress turned to her.
“Go back to
class now Sophie. Tell Angélique that I am taking
Alouette to a more appropriate class for her and
that she can come collect her at the end of the
Sophie hesitated, but after a
stern look from the Headmistress, she went scurrying
away. I reached after her, like my lifeline was
running away, but the headmistress only smiled and
yanked my had as we walked off the opposite
A part of me wanted to fight,
but a bigger part of me just wanted to cry… I was
being dragged through the hallway in a t-shirt and a
diaper. One student… one person out on an errand or
going to the bathroom… that’s all it would take to
have rumors run wild through the school.
We turned down one hall and
then down another and then…. My worst fears were
realized, I was pulled right passed a class with its
door open. It was one of the younger classes,
probably elementary school, and even then it was
only a second that I passed by the doorway, but I
heard the tell tale noises of what was the probably
the French equivalent of “Did you see that?” Safe
bet now that by next break, I was busted.
We came to a large wooden door,
which the headmistress opened rather quickly and
entered what I realized was the foyer of the church
I visited the other day. We went straight across the
foyer and into another small section of halls that I
hadn’t been too yet… Up ahead someone stepped out of
a room and my heart about stopped.
Facet, you made it.”
“Oh, I have
special interest in our little runaway terror here.”
you’re here, I don’t want her causing any problems
when we bring her in.”
I didn’t speak. I just cried. I
stood in my state of dis-dress and let it go. Not
loud wailing, just sort of soft hopelessness. The
headmistress smiled and so did the inspector.
“I told the headmistress about
your little problem.,” Inspector Facet said to me.
He opened the door for us. Inside, was what Sophie
said I’d be taken too. It was a nursery. There was a
lady in a plain dress and three toddlers.
“We both feel that this is
better suited to you,” he said with a smile. The
lady in the room looked over at us a little
inspector… when you said my next baby was going to
be a little bigger and older…” she looked at me
a little sympathetically.
think you meant she was going to be a teenager.”
Marguerite. This is Alouette, and she is going to be
here with you from now on.” The headmistress said. “As you can
see she’s in diapers. I’ve been told it’s because
she’s incontinent. She also doesn’t get along with
any of the other students her own age. So she is
going to be here… with you.”
I wanted to know what they were
saying, but there was no way I could. I could only
cry and feel ashamed while these adults made my life
miserable. The headmistress brought me in the room
and let go of my hand. I immediately made a break
for the door, but Inspector Facet grabbed my
“Tsk tsk… I thought we’d been
through this enough… You make a run for it… I pick
you up. I deport you. World worse then this… Geeze,
it doesn’t sink in at all does it.”
I continued to cry, but tried
hard to wriggle my grip away from him.
look like she wants to be here…” The lady said.
“Are you sure… that this is okay? I mean, won’t her
parents be sort of mad if they find out that they’re
daughter was diapered and put in the nursery? It’s a
bit… weird,” the lady went over to one of the
toddlers, the commotion and my crying had started
you are paid to take care of the babies in the
nursery. Not to worry about why the babies are in
the nursery. This girl does not have parents. She is
a run away who has been staying with one of our
teachers over in the high school all week. She’s a
handful, but I’m sure you can handle her.”
Inspector Facet looked at me
for a moment then at the headmistress.
“I think I’ve
got an idea…” He tugged me into the room once
more, then bent down to look me in the face.
“Alouette… You are going to stay in here, like it or
not. Marguerite, the caretaker can use help looking
after the babies, and that’s what you are going to
do. You can either cooperate, or I can just drag you
out to my car and take you off to juvenile hall
dressed just as you are. Understood?”
I didn’t say anything, but
continued to tug away at his hands.
“I said understood?!?” He asked
a little louder. Not getting anywhere, I just sank
to my knees in tears and cried, but managed a slight
nod of my head.
“Good.” He turned to the
“She’s going to be the caretaker’s aid. She can help take care of the
other babies here.”
excellent idea, you’d asked for an assistant
Marguerite, and here you are.”
Marguerite looked a little
confused at this craziness before her.
You just said that she… and… she… she’s diapered?”
Officer Facet just shrugged and
the headmistress smiled.
that’s settled. Well I’ve got some things to see
too. I’m locking the door, in case Alouette tries
running away again. You have the key. Just make sure
you answer the door if a parent knocks and give me a
call if our little American friend here causes any
Marguerite was stunned.
And with that Officer Facet and the headmistress
excused themselves and left.
One of the three toddlers, a
boy, who had been playing in a corner and waiting
for everything to settle down came over to me. I was
still crying uncontrollably, sitting on my legs. He
offered me a stuffed animal bear, but I just shook
my head. The lady, Marguerite came over and got down
on her knees as well.
thing…” she said as she leaned forward to hug
me. I didn’t say anything but I knew the pittying
voice I’d heard pretty often. I wrapped my arms
around her and let it out loudly this time. It was
soo unfair. All of it. It didn’t even make sense any
more. “I don’t
really understand what they’re doing to you, but
I’ve never seen the headmistress like that. She’s
strict, but never this mean. What on earth did you
do to cross her?”
Between sobs I managed to choke
out the only French phrase I know. “No
Marguerite nodded and patted my back. When I’d
settled down enough and when the toddlers had
gathered around she backed off and looked at me with
a sigh. “I guess your stuck here for now. I’d let you out, but I’m afraid I’d
lose my job over something like this. I mean I’ve
NEVER seen the headmistress like that before.”
I just remained silent and
looked at the floor. She continued to look at me,
and suddenly the door was being unlocked. Inspector
Facet came into the room.
forgot. Here’s her backpack. She has more diapers in
I didn’t turn to see him. I
knew his voice, and I just hoped he’d go away. He
stepped over me and dropped my backpack in my lap. I
still stayed quiet, silently shaking, not looking
up. As quickly as he’d come in, he left again.
want to change yourself?” Marguerite said.
it does look a little bit wet.”
I continued to stare at the
ground. I couldn’t tell what she was saying, and I
didn’t care. I was a baby, in a nursery. What do
they care about anything? She walked up, opened my
backpack and pulled out a clean diaper, holding it
up to me. I shrugged… she wanted to know if I wanted
my diaper changed. I took the diaper from her hand.
I looked around the room and there was a bathroom in
the corner of it. I got up and dried my tears with
my fist as I went into the bathroom to change
Marguerite just let me do it.
She tended to the three toddlers till I got out. She
didn’t really say too much to me. I don’t think she
really knew what to do with me. So when I came back
into the room, I looked around and spotted a sort of
nap corner, where a bunch of yoga mats and pillows
had been laid out. This morning had been so much
that I really just needed to lie down to collect my
I went over to one of the open
mats, there were about six of them, so I didn’t
worry about there not being enough whenever nap time
did come around. I looked over at the lady
Marguerite, and she nodded as I sat down on the pad.
I think she understood I just wanted to lie down… I
thought about finding some more clothes, but I doubt
the nursery had clothes for a teenager. I just
settled for a small blanket that would at least
cover my legs and midsection. Enough so that it hid
I laid back on the pillow and
stared at the ceiling. What was happening to me? How
was it all going so wrong? I tried to replay the
mornings events in my head and it didn’t help a lot.
You’d think doing High School for a second time
would be much easier.
My thoughts were interrupted as
one of the toddlers came over. It was the same boy
who had offered me a stuffed animal earlier. I
didn’t say anything, but he got down on the mat next
to me and pretended to do just like I did, being a
little copy cat. I smiled the tiniest amount, he was
being pretty cute. He offered his stuffed animal to
me and this time I took it. It was a little fox. He
said something to me, but I think it was toddler
jibberish and not even French. He got up and lied
down right next to me, trying to curl up for a nap
too. I looked a little shocked for a moment and
looked up to Marguerite, who was watching. She just
I shrugged back and let the boy
do as he wished. Whatever, he probably thought I was
a big toddler girl or something. Oh well, I’m
diapered, he’s diapered, who’s to prove him wrong? I
laid my head back and looked up at the ceiling… How
was I going to get out of this… Surely Angélique
wouldn’t stand for this crap? I mean, as soon as she
heard about this, she’d be here in a flash and
explain to that lady how wrong this was. I mean,
surely that nursery lady had to know that this
couldn’t be legal or ethical. Was the whole world
I mulled this over in my head
as the little guy drifted off to sleep next to me.
The quietness of the room, and the warmth of the
blanket over me and the comfort of the pillow under
my head… it got to me… and I drifted off as well…
I dreamt something, but I don’t
know what… I just knew I was scared. Maybe it was
that I was dragged into a nursery and told I was a
baby. Oh wait, that wasn’t a dream… I awoke to
“I’m so sorry
about this Marguerite,” she said to the lady.
“I don’t know
what came over the headmistress. I hope Alouette
didn’t cause any trouble, she’s usually quite a
know it. She was quiet as a mouse. She did try to
run away while the inspector was here, but as soon
as he left, she just went over there and laid down.
She even got little Freddy to take a nap, and he
I rubbed my eyes and started to
get up… but as I did, I felt something different.
There was soft stickiness in my diaper and as I
moved, it seemed to shift too. I thought about it,
but my head felt a little heavy from the sleep… then
I smelt something and tears quickly found their way
to my eyes. I think I’d messed my diaper in my
Angélique noticed me moving.
“Alouette? You awake? Oh… why are you crying?” She came over to me
and sniffed the air.
“I think your
toddler here needs his diaper changed. He smells
he usually doesn’t poop in his sleep.”
Angélique was about to say
something, but then I think a little bulb in her
head went off.
“Oooo honey…” She said as she hugged me. I
sobbed a little more and she helped me up.
Marguerite looked a little confused.
Marguerite could you grab me another diaper out of
Alouette’s backpack. I think I’ll need to borrow
your changing table.”
gracious, it’s her? And you’re okay with this teen
in diapers?” Marguerite asked astounded.
needs them… It’s a long story. But this is the first
time I think she’s had this kind of accident…”
Angélique helped me over to the
changing table. The toddlers were all asleep now for
afternoon naps in the corner I’d just come from. I
felt like an absolute baby and continued to cry as
she helped me up. When I laid down, it didn’t
support past my knees, so my legs hung down from the
Alouette, no one’s mad. I’ll take you back home
after this. I called a substitute in for my
afternoon classes. I think after what Marguerite
told me here, the Inspector and our headmistress are
up to something.”
By: CS Fox
Angélique and I walked quietly
out of the chapel nursery and back into the main
part of the school. I wasn’t really sure where we
were heading, but I was happy to be with Angélique
and out of the nursery.
School was still in session, it
was just about the end of lunch judging by the clock
in the main hall. Possibly we were going back to
class, since Angélique still needed to teach the
rest of the day. I wasn’t much in the mood to go to
class though. Not after the morning I’d had.
Let’s see, today I’d gotten in
a fight, then been sent to the headmistress’ office
who told me I was going to be in the school nursery
from now on, and then had probably my worst accident
to date while I was asleep there. If it weren’t for
the fact that Angélique had come by to get me out of
the nursery and talked to the caretaker there (who
really wasn’t all that bad, I think like Sophie, she
was just caught up in this mess), I probably would
have been left there all day with the toddlers.
The noises of lunch started to
drift towards us. I was hungry, since I hadn’t had
that much to eat today, but I didn’t really want to
show my face there. After the fight this morning,
I’m sure I was the hot topic (again, like every day)
and I didn’t need to be reminded of it.
girl!” an excited middle-schooler exclaimed as she
turned a corner.
violent American one??”
“She is, she
is! I saw the headmistress take her down the hall
earlier in nothing but a t-shirt and diapers!”
There were two younger girls
walking behind Angélique and I. Something obviously
had them very excited, because they were doing this
gossipy giggly thing very loudly. Angélique turned
on a heel and stared the both of them down. I turned
a little surprised and both the girls stopped
“There is no
need for you to follow us around talking behind our
backs. Go on and get back to the lunchroom.”
Both the of the girl’s mouths
attempted to mask and hold back explosive giggles by
looking sad as Angélique scolded them. I think she
was trying to cover for me in the hopes the girls
wouldn’t say anything, but I already knew, I could
read it on their faces that they knew my secret. By
the end of the day it would be secret no more.
The girls headed back towards
the lunchroom, bursting out into peels of laughter
when they were a safe distance away. Angélique
frowned but there wasn’t much she could do.
“I was going
to go check and see if the substitute teacher was
ready to take over the class for the rest of the
day, but I see that it’s probably best if we get you
back to my place as soon as possible. If those girls
were any indication, the rest of the students will
know about your diapers in short time. I don’t want
you getting provoked into any more fights.”
I just nodded my head and
continued on. I didn’t really understand much of
what she’d said, but I think she was saying
something about my secret and how it blown wide
open. Angélique opened a side door and we left the
building. I sighed a little bit of relief as we did.
I guess she was going to take me home, and I was
We were only half way out of
the school yard when there was some commotion behind
us. I turned to see the headmistress leaning out of
a window and yelling our way.
“Where are you
taking that girl Angélique?”
“Back to my
house,” Angélique called back to her.
“But you have
classes to teach! Go put her back in the nursery
where she belongs!”
Angélique frowned and looked
down at me. I was willing to venture a guess that
the headmistress wasn’t happy about my departure.
Angélique took my hand in hers.
“I found a
substitute, and you needn’t worry about Alouette.
I’m going to talk to the pastor about you putting
her in the nursery.”
And with that Angélique turned
and we started back towards her house again.
can’t just have a substitute without even telling
“And you can’t
just put my Alouette in the nursery without telling
me!” Angélique called over her shoulder.
“If you leave
now, don’t think you can come back to teach again on
I felt Angélique’s hand tighten
around mine a little bit. The words that she was
sharing with the headmistress weren’t nice, whatever
they were. I recognized my name in them too.
Angélique seemed to be hesitating a moment on some
type of reply to the headmistress. She stopped
walking and turned back toward the headmistress
still leaning out of the school window. She slowly
looked down at me, then back at the headmistress. I
squeezed her hand for a little encouragement and I
saw a smile creep on her face.
Angélique raised her other hand
and presented a nice big middle finger to the
headmistress. The old nun’s jaw dropped a little
bit, before her face contorted in a scowl and she
slammed the window shut. Angélique laughed softly
and turned toward me… I wrapped my arms around her
in the biggest hug I’ve ever given.
“Oh I’m in so
much trouble…” Angélique laughed as we walked back
towards her place. “But… you know what? I’m glad.
What they did to you was just wrong… I think there’s
more to you then I thought,” she added with a
wink my way. I blushed, not sure why, but it just
felt appropriate. I think I’d some how inspired an
uprising in Angélique. I felt strangely proud of the
finger she’d given the headmistress.
When we got home Angélique made
us lunch. It seemed that everything she did for the
afternoon sort of had this “Is this really
happening?” quality to it… She laughed a lot, but at
the same time, I think it was kind of a forced
laugh, and possibly she was having reserves about
that big finger.
For the most part we just laid
around. The only bad thing about being home from
school, was that there was nothing to do, and for
whatever stupid reason, Angélique didn’t own a TV
set. She did have a deck of cards and we managed to
get a game of go fish going.
In the middle of our card game
the phone rang. Angélique got up to get it and my
blood froze when I heard her say “Bonjour Inspector
“Yes I took
her out of school… No, I don’t really care if I lose
my job over this… I don’t see how this concerns you
so much Inspector, if anything I’m going to keep a
closer eye on her… Yes, she’s going to be with me
for the weekend… She’ll be fine, and I don’t mind
having her here… Okay, I’ll call you if she does
anything that bad, but seriously how could you have
done that too her at school today? Yes, yes I know
the accidents aren’t getting any better, but come
on, put yourself in her shoes? …that’s not funny
inspector… I’m hanging up, I don’t appreciate that
tone, have a good afternoon, she’ll be fine right
here,” and with Angélique hung up the phone.
I looked at her nervously for
any indication that I should be ready for the paddy
wagon to pull up, but she just calmly, if somewhat
tiredly, came and picked up her cards again. We
finished the game and then settled into a little
work on my lessons in French. My progress was
actually coming along fairly quickly, mainly because
of how ever-present the language was around me.
A few hours later a knock came
from the door. Much like the phone call, once again
my blood froze wondering if the Inspector or
headmistress or something was at the door. Angélique
let out a sigh and went to answer it, smiling when
she found Caroline and Sophie.
girls,” Angélique said with a smile. I waved
happily at them both from the table.
in come in,” Angélique said holding the door
open for them. Both girls came in looking a little
Sophie came right over to me.
“Are you okay Alouette?”
“Yah I’m fine. It was just a
long day is all.”
Sophie hesitated before putting
her hands behind her back. “Umm…Alouette… they all
“All?” I asked.
“Everyone in school. I had to
duck out a little early before Marcel and his gang
could find me. You don’t really want to hear the
jokes they’ve been making.”
I nodded slowly, and looked
awkwardly at the floor. It wasn’t like I didn’t
expect this though. Angélique noticed the change in
“What are you
telling her Sophie?” she asked curiously.
“I was just
telling her that the whole school knows she’s in
“Oh… yah, I
was afraid of that. You’re not going to get into any
trouble because you were her friend are you?”
really,” Sophie lied.
“We came by to
make sure that Alouette was okay. I was worried when
I saw the headmistress take her to the nursery,”
Caroline said, speaking up.
“And to see
why you weren’t going to teach any more,” Sophie
sighed a little. “So you already heard something
from the headmistress?”
into the classroom and told us all that we’d be
getting a new teacher and that you’d been fired for
encouraging a little…” Sophie paused.
“What did she
say Sophie?” Angélique asked.
Angélique frowned so hard that
I think she snorted. Whatever Sophie had told her it
was rotten news apparently.
“Well, I guess
I won’t be teaching at your school any more,”
Angélique said after she’d calmed herself. “With a
headmistress like that, I’m glad.”
“I’m asking my
papa to take me out of that school too,” Sophie
going to school for me Sophie. I want you to get a
“But can’t you
teach us?” Caroline asked. “My mom said she always
liked you, and since your not teaching at school,
I’m sure she’d be willing to pay if you could teach
blinked at Caroline and looked thoughtful for a
minute. “I’ll… I’ll think about it.”
“What’s going on?” I asked
Sophie, feeling a bit left out.
“The headmistress fired
Angélique and we were trying to figure out what’s
“She got fired?”
“That’s what the headmistress
“This is my fault isn’t it?”
“I don’t think it’s like that,
I mean Caroline and I could see that what’s been
happening to you is wrong, I think the headmistress
is in on it.”
“You and me both,” I said
crossing my arms.
both of you spend the night here with Alouette and
I?” Angélique asked cheerfully. “I’ll give your
parents a call and see if we can’t sort out some
type of plan for school. I also want to talk to
father Salade before anything else is done.”
beamed, “We can have a slumber party?” she asked
nodded, “Call and ask your parents.”
Caroline suddenly hugged me.
“Um.. Sophie, what’s going on?” I asked as the tall
girl hugged me and I hugged back out of politeness.
“We’re going to have a slumber
party.” Sophie said with a smile.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
By: CS Fox
There is no greater feeling of
awkwardness then being a guy at a girl’s slumber
party… or in my case, possessing the mind of one.
Sophie was sitting on the couch
quietly braiding the tall girl Carloine’s hair while
Angélique sat behind me on the floor doing the same
to mine. Whatever it was that made this party
activity fun was beyond me.
“Tell Angélique that this isn’t
very fun,” I said with a frown to Sophie. I crossed
my arms and grunted to try and convey the message
thanks for braiding her hair,” Sophie said with
a giggle. She was already having a good time, this
was going to be her first slumber party since moving
Angélique smiled and gave me a
friendly pat on the head.
I grumbled. “I know what merci
means Sophie, tell her what I really said.”
Sophie smiled at me, and for a
moment, looked like a different girl. She was
usually just quiet and reserved. I think she might
actually be enjoying herself.
can I ask something?” Caroline looked up a little
please, just call me Angélique.”
nodded. “Well, I wanted to ask… Why was Alouette
wearing a diaper this morning?”
I heard my name, and the word
couche. Even though I had changed my clothes since
coming home into a more relaxed sundress, Caroline
knew what I was wearing underneath. The evil nun had
taken my skirt earlier and paraded me past her in
just a shirt and diaper.
Angélique stopped braiding my
hair, and I looked back at her with a blush. She
looked like she was waiting for me to say something,
so I nodded, trying to convey my permission to
explain the story.
“She’s got a
problem with her bladder Caroline. At least, I think
she does, I’m not really sure what causes it, but
she has a lot of accidents.”
Caroline looked confused a
moment, but got up off the couch and came over to us
on the floor. She started to reach toward my dress
but I quickly scooted away. Not entirely sure what
Caroline wanted, I just lifted up the hem of my
dress a little to show off what I was wearing.
“You have to
wear them all the time?” she asked me.
“She’s asking if you have to
wear diapers all the time,” Sophie said from the
“Oui”I said uneasily.
“I’m sorry, I
didn’t mean to embarrass you Alouette, I was just… I
was just curious is all.”
“She said she’s sorry if she
embarrassed you,” Sophie translated.
I nodded, “It’s okay, not
really a secret anymore anyway.”
“Do you mess
your diapers as well?”Caroline asked.
Angélique made a hushing motion
to Caroline who looked confused again. The hair
braiding continued. We sat silent a few minutes
until there was a knock at the door.
Angélique called, getting to her feet. She walked
across the room to the front door.
Angélique, it’s so good to see you again,” said
a pretty woman as Angélique opened the door. There
was a gentleman standing behind her and they both
gave Angélique a hug and kiss on each cheek as they
Pierre, come in come in,” Angélique said.
“Hi mom, hi
papa,” Caroline said with a big smile from the
couch. Sophie gave a shy wave still sitting behind
her and braiding her hair.
I sat feeling a little nervous.
I’d learned to be very wary of new people in France.
“Who’s that?” I asked Sophie, moving towards her.
“Caroline’s mom and dad.”
believe it when I heard it. How did you get fired?”
Pierre asked incredulous. “When we were in school,
you were the saint in our class.” He put a small
bundle down on the table.
already heard?” Angélique said shaking her head,
neighbors told us after their children came home,”
his wife Marie chimed in. “The headmistress is
making it no secret.”
witch,” Pierre added with a laugh. Marie ribbed him
with her elbow.
‘old witch’ fired me for sticking up for my guest
Angélique motioned my way, and
I shrank a little, trying to offer a nervous wave. I
had no idea what they were talking about, but it
didn’t seem bad.
off some bullies that were picking on me,” Caroline
fighting?” Angélique asked looking a little
“It wasn’t the
first time,” Sophie said under her breath.
“I always knew
something was wrong with the headmistress when she
refused to take action against those bullies who
picked on Caroline,” Marie said with an affirmative
nod. “I’m glad someone did something against them,”
she winked at me.
encourage her,” Angélique frowned.
you a change of clothes and your toothbrush
Caroline,” Pierre said to his daughter, bringing the
bundle to her.
“It’s nice of
you to have Caroline over tonight,” Pierre smiled
giving his daughter a pat on her head. It was kind
of funny, because he was average height, and
Caroline was probably taller than him when she stood
problem, the girls were really excited about it, and
I think after the day they’ve had they could use
“And I wanted
to talk about tutoring for Caroline. Alouette is
excellent in math, and I’m going to be in need of
some students now, so I thought…”
perfect!” Marie said suddenly hugging Angélique.
(I raised an eyebrow, like mother like daughter for
been hoping to find Caroline a place to start her
studies again. I’ve tried teaching her the basic
stuff at home, but I just don’t know if I’m
qualified enough to do it. We’d love to have you
start teaching her again full time.”
was going to ask Sophie’s father when he stopped by
Sophie smiled on the couch.
“What are they talking about?”
I asked still kind of hiding behind the couch.
“Well they’re talking about how
Angélique got fired, and Caroline’s parents just
agreed to hire her as a full time tutor. She’s going
to ask my papa too. I think you’re going to do the
The three adults carried on for
a while. Eventually Sophie finished Caroline’s hair
and insisted on doing mine since Angélique had left
it half done. I begrudgingly agreed only after some
fussing. About 10 minutes later, there was another
knock at the door.
Angélique excused herself and
opened the door to a uniformed policeman. As soon as
I saw the uniform, I freaked and dove ungracefully
over the couch.
Caroline leaned over the top
giggling at me.
“What is she
doing?” she asked Sophie.
Sophie rolled her eyes,
Sophie nodded, leaning over the
couch to look at me. I was covering my head in a
ball and praying that the events of this morning
hadn’t come back so soon to haunt me.
“Your diaper is showing,”
Sophie said sarcastically. I gasped and took one
hand from the back of my head and stuck it on my ass
to pull the stupid sun dress down further.
giggled harder. “She’s so funny. Are you going to
tell her it’s your papa?”
about it,” Sophie said with a slight smile.
Rousseau, please come in,” Angélique said
holding the door.
Angélique,” he said politely. He nodded and greeted
Marie and Pierre as well.
“I’ve got to
say, I’m not really sure what to make of everything
I’ve heard about what happened at your school
“Glad to see
the police even listen to gossip,” Marie teased.
blushed. “Well, it was, kind of an eventful day. I
Rousseau nodded. “I’d heard that. The inspector was
talking about it. He was kind of gloating about it
actually, he’s a decent cop, but not really the
nicest guy, so I thought I’d reserve my judgment
till I heard what you had to say about it. Which
reminds me, where is the American?”
I heard American. I was boned…
I shivered a little, bracing for it.
She’s on the cou…” Angélique looked over at Sophie
and Caroline and looked surprised not seeing her
giggled and pointed over the back of the couch.
“She’s scarred of Sophie’s papa cause he’s a
couldn’t help but smile, she turned, “She’s behind
the couch. I think she’s afraid you’ve come to
“I don’t have
orders or a reason to arrest her, has she done
Facet has been terrorizing her today papa,” Sophie
“I’m a junior
officer Sophie, it’s not my place to question what
the inspector was doing.”
something about Inspector Facet and my heart beat a
little quicker, but thankfully I hadn’t heard his
voice yet. So at least it seemed he wasn’t here.
nodded, “I don’t like what he’s been doing either.
At first I was very sure he had Alouette’s best
interest in mind, but after finding out he and the
headmistress put her in the nursery…”
Nursery?” asked Pierre. “What on earth for?”
“Well, it’s a
long story, but the short end of it is that Alouette
has to wear diapers for a little problem. The
headmistress walked her through the school without
her skirt today, trying to embarrass the poor girl.”
not right… I’ll see if I can’t find out what that’s
all about. I’ve got night duty and the inspector
should be on tonight too.”
Monsieur Rousseau, I’d appreciate that.”
Someone walked around the couch
and put a hand on my shoulder. I let out a startled
cry. “Non!” Fearing it was the officer coming to get
me. I fell back from my fetal crouch onto my butt. I
could feel I was wetting my diaper.
Caroline’s mother was quickly
around the couch behind Angélique.
“Is she okay?”
nodded, “She’s just really scared.”
Sophie’s head appeared over the back of the couch.
“It’s okay, Alouette, that police officer is my dad.
You’re not in trouble.”
“I..I…I’m not?” I asked trying
to slow my heart.
Sophie shook her head. “He’s
just here to drop off my toothbrush and stuff.”
I swallowed and took a few
breaths. “You could have told me that earlier when
he first came in. I thought I was going to be taken
Sophie smiled, “I know.”
Angélique gave me her hand and
helped me up. I sniffed back a few tears and tried
not to look ridiculous for the guests. Although;
crying, strange, foreign, teenage girl in diapers =
epic fail when trying not to look ridiculous.
After a minute or two I was
back on the couch, a little jittery, but at least
letting Sophie finish up with my hair. Her dad and
Caroline’s parents talked a little more with
Angélique, and I was given the run down that the
three of us would start getting private tutoring
instead of going to school.
At least one thing had gone
you home in the morning,” Marie said to her
daughter as she prepared to leave.
Caroline said hugging her, and then her father.
“That goes for
you too,” Sophie’s father said to her with a
policemen’s nod. Sophie smiled.
After that, they left us to our
should we do tonight?” Angélique asked.
an immediate response so she took a moment to think.
thinking of ordering some Chinese food or something.
Would that be okay?” Angélique asked.
“Chinese food?” Sophie looked
“Sure. Chinese is good.”
Angélique got on the phone and
ordered a bunch of stuff from a little pamphlet she
had lying around.
should be here in a little bit, how about we all
change into our pajamas?”
The girls gathered up the
things their parents had left and Angélique motioned
for me to follow her upstairs. I wasn’t exactly sure
what was going on, but I recognized our little get
ready for bed phrase that Angélique liked to say.
She led me to my room while Sophie ducked into the
bathroom and Caroline into Angélique’s room.
Angélique shut the door and did
a little motion for me to raise my arms. I didn’t
really complain; I’d been used to her taking charge
when it came to getting ready for bed. As I held my
arms up, she took off the sundress and looked down
at my sodden diaper. She shook her head playfully,
to be some way to potty train you.”
She went over to the dresser
and took out another diaper and had me lay down on
my bed. Getting my diaper changed had also sadly
become routine. I just stared blankly at the ceiling
as she undid the tapes and went about changing me.
“I have the
cutest pajamas!” Caroline said inviting herself
into the room. She was wearing a long blue night
shirt with the book character Madeline on it.
I shrieked a little and tried
to cover myself. Angélique was still going over my…
…. parts… with a wipe.
“Non non!” I shouted.
Caroline blushed red and
quickly backed out of the room. Angélique giggled
and shook her head.
girls Alouette, it’s not like she doesn’t know about
“Hmph,” I crossed my arms and
frowned because Angélique thought it was funny. As
if having your diaper changed when your 15-or-so
wasn’t embarrassing enough.
After I was changed, and after
Caroline apologized profusely to me in the hallway,
we all sat on the couch. Angélique surprised the
hell out of me by pulling a TV out of the closet on
a roller tray. It was tiny, and black and white, but
it was a TV.
“Holy crap they still have
these working?” I said looking it over. It had
numbered dials to flip channels.
“It used to be
my mother’s TV. It still works just fine. I’ve got
some good movies on VHS.”
“Movie time,” Sophie
The Chinese food came shortly
after and we settled into watching some French love
story I couldn’t understand. Sophie tried explaining
most of what was happening for me, but our constant
talking only had Angélique and Caroline waving
chopsticks at us and trying to get us to shut up
during the most romantic parts.
I was kind of bored, but I was
happy that they were having a good time, and it did
feel nice to have more than just Angélique to hang
After the movie, Angélique not
so discretely checked my diaper which made the other
girls giggle. Thankfully I was dry, so she herded us
upstairs to my room to turn in for the night.
She made Caroline and Sophie
makeshift beds out of arranged couch cushions on the
floor. They each got a sleeping bag and Angélique
said some French good nights that were over my head
and turned out the light.
I figured at lights out there
would usually be the gossip and random talk
associated with sleepovers. When I was a boy in my
teens, I had friends over all the time… but we did
different stuff, we stayed up playing video games
and eating pizza instead of braiding hair and
watching love stories. Maybe this party was a little
more subdued because… well facing facts, the three
of us were kind of social outcasts.
The gossip and random talk did
happen, although Caroline did most of the talking.
Sophie was getting kind of tired and I think she was
starting to half-ass the translations because twenty
words of French was becoming two or three in
I was only giving mild
responses myself to their questions about boys,
school, and life. Remembering something Sophie had
asked me a few days ago, I was trying to make it
sound as if I liked boys, at least enough so that I
didn’t seem a lesbian to them.
Getting bored with our lack of
responses, Caroline started looking around the room.
that bag?” She said walking to the dresser by
Sophie was laying half in her
sleeping bag. She propped herself up on her elbows
and looked in the moonlit room.
“It’s a bag of pull-ups.”
I couldn’t really see too well
in the dark. “What’s she asking about?”
“You’re bag of pull-ups.”
cute… I used to wear those when I was little.”
Sophie rolled her eyes.
“I don’t think
that’ll make Alouette feel any better if I tell her
She took one out of the bag.
I could kind of make out that
she was messing around with stuff on the dresser.
“What’s she doing now?”
Sophie just shrugged her
shoulders like she didn’t know.
“Can you ask
her if I can put it on Sophie?”
Caroline came closer to my bed
and she was holding up one of the pull ups now and
was pointing to herself.
“Umm… Sophie, what is she
“She wants to wear it.”
“Why…?” I gave a raised eyebrow
and a look like ‘are you crazy?’ that apparently
bridged the language gap. Caroline blushed and bit
and I think it’d be funny, like a joke.”
“She thinks it’ll be funny.
Like a joke.”
I gave her the same look,
focusing on her, then the pull-up, then her again.
“Tell her I have no idea why she’d want to wear
them, but she’s welcome too if she wants too.”
Sophie translated and Caroline
giggled as she pulled up her night shirt a little
and pulled down her panties. She stepped into the
pull-ups and brought them up.
little tight,” She said looking down at them,
and then over her shoulder at her butt while she
held her shirt up.
probably because you’re like 10 centimeters taller
“Can you ask Caroline to pull
her shirt down? Is modesty a virtue forgotten by
France?” I asked feeling kind of awkward about this
whole business. Apparently Sophie wasn’t listening.
“You know, I
bet they’d be the perfect size for you,”
Caroline giggled to Sophie.
Sophie rolled her eyes.
Caroline giggled some more and
took a few steps around the room.
realize they made them this big.”
“What are you two talking
about?” I asked feeling left out.
“Nothing, Caroline is weird
I shrugged, and things settled
down a moment or two later. Caroline got into her
bed, still giggling and smiling at me, talking about
her pull-ups and presumably when I had worn them. I
just shook my head. Not my favorite subject.
Thankfully the tall girl passed out not too long
I laid awake a while longer.
After my nap earlier today, and the whole
humiliating ordeal at the nursery, I wasn’t feeling
very tired. I laid on my bed just staring into the
I couldn’t help but marvel at
Caroline. She was out cold. There could be a 28 car
pileup around her and she wouldn’t know it. She had
like a toddler’s energy, all over the place in the
afternoon, and then when she’d settled down, she
crashed hard core. Not only that, but after some
restless adjusting, she slept with her butt in the
air. Her night shirt had slid up her waist and the
pull-up she was wearing was completely on display. A
part of me wondered if she was really wearing it as
a ‘joke’ as she’d said.
“Can’t sleep?” Sophie said
looking up from her sleeping bag. I sat up in bed
“Too much happened today. I’m
kind of afraid to leave the house now. I don’t want…
I don’t want to know that everyone else in town
knows I have to wear diapers.”
Sophie let out a sigh. “I can
understand that. I’ll still be your friend though,
if it means anything.”
I nodded and smiled. “It does.”
We were quiet a moment before
Sophie spoke up. “I have something for you.”
“After school yesterday I went
to visit my papa at work and while I was at his
desk, I found something that I think is yours… but
you have to promise me something.”
I tried to imagine what she was
talking about, but it was late enough and I was game
for whatever. “Sure, what do you need?”
“Huh?” I puzzled over what she
was talking about as she got out of her sleeping bag
and went through her backpack. She came to the edge
of my bed and held up a black passport with a US
stamp on it.
“If this is yours, I want you
to tell me the truth about it.”
I nearly dived off the bed to
By: CS Fox
Caroline asked as she woke up. She blushed a little
realizing she’d drooled on her pillow. She sat up
and looked around in the dark to see me wrapping my
arms around Sophie. She raised an eyebrow,
“Is it going
to be one of those types of sleepovers? Cause um…
I’m not really”
Sophie immediately pushed me
“Sorry, I just… you have no
idea what this means!” I said taking the passport in
both hands. I opened it slowly, and wanted to cry
when I saw the small photo of my face. My real face.
“So… is it yours?”
I nodded and smiled at her. “It
She crossed her arms. “Explain.
Caroline crawled over to us. “Umm what’s going on Sophie? You two aren’t going too..?”
like that. Here, I’ll explain in a moment.”
I took a deep breath and held
the passport firmly in both hands, like it was the
most important thing in the world to me (and in a
way, it was).
“My real name is Anthony… And
about a week ago, I was a boy.”
Sophie sat up a little more.
Caroline joined us and we had a small circle.
“I was 22-years-old and getting
ready to study in Paris…. But I took a tour to see
the vineyards of France, which brought me here, to
your little town.”
Sophie started translating for
Caroline who looked a little stunned. Her hand
reached out and felt my chest. I slapped it away as
“I did that
too,” Sophie said to Caroline, “I suspected she was
a boy when I first met her.”
“But… she’s a
that she used to be a boy.”
The two of them were talking
about something. Apparently Caroline didn’t believe
me, possibly because I had tits and not more than a
few hours ago, she had walked in during my diaper
change and could probably tell I was most certainly
not a boy.
“She wants to know where you
had you’re surgery done, because you don’t look any
bit like a boy now,” Sophie said a little
exasperated after talking to Caroline.
“Tell her I didn’t have
surgery, tell her I was… changed… into a girl.”
Sophie raised an eyebrow but
changed into a girl?”
she says,” Sophie said.
“Could I be
changed into a boy? Is it like magic? I think I’d
like to try it for a day.”
“She wants to know if it was
magic and if you could change her into a boy for a
I slapped my forehead. “I don’t
know how it happened. I went to La Febre and drank a
really old bottle of wine, and then woke up here,” I
hit the bed with my hand “having wet myself and
suddenly in the body of a girl. The rest you already
Sophie translated and Caroline
just looked at me curiously.
“Where is La Febre?” Sophie
“It’s that stupid winery up the
“Le Febure Viticoles?”
I nodded “That’s the place.
Sorry the name escaped me.”
Sophie thought for a moment.
“Le Febure is the most famous winery in town.
Everyone’s proud of it.”
I frowned and thought for a
moment. “Well Le Febure is where I need to go to
find out what happened to me.”
really used to be a boy?”Caroline asked.
“I think so. She’s done a lot of boyish things…
Plus… I dunno there’s something weird about her.”
“I’ve done a
lot of boyish things, that doesn’t mean I used to be
a boy. At least, I don’t think it does.”
shrugged. “You’re already weird enough for all
Caroline said with a frown, but then thinking on it,
“has she told Angélique that she’s a boy?”
“Caroline wants to know if
you’ve told Angélique that you’re a boy.”
I sighed. “I told her at first,
but she didn’t believe me.
“Why not?” Sophie asked.
“Well things went really wrong
at first. She thought I was lying about everything.
I told her I was a boy, that my name was Anthony…
but the first time she found me I was drunk and
peeing myself. I don’t even know if she’ll believe
me even with this passport.”
Sophie nodded. “It could be
anyone’s. I mean, I believe you, but that’s only
because I picked up on a lot stuff since I’ve known
I frowned and thought so more.
I had to prove who I was somehow… Then a crazy idea
“You know what? We’re going to
Sophie looked surprised. “Right
I nodded vigorously. “Right
now. I mean it. I want to find out what happened.”
Sophie’s mouth hung open, like
she didn’t believe it. Caroline prodded her looking
for a translation as to why I suddenly seemed so
excited. Sophie told her what I just said we were
going to do and Caroline pumped her arm up in the
air and gave me a thumbs up.
“We go!” Caroline said with a
“… Have you tried going there
before?” Sophie asked after a moment.
I blushed. “Well, I sort of
did, but it um…”
“But what?” Sophie asked a
“The stupid inspector arrested
Sophie’s eyes went wide. “No
way! We’re not going. That’s my dad’s boss, my dad
would kill me if I got arrested.” Sophie frowned
when she noticed that Caroline was already in the
process of getting dressed.
I smiled and started to join
her, searching through the dresser for any of
Angélique’s clothes that were black or dark.
“You’re both crazy! I want no
part in this,” Sophie said crossing her arms.
Fifteen minutes later Caroline
and I were tip toeing past Angélique’s room. We had
found some dark clothes, and Caroline had even
managed to find a black cloth that she had tied to
try and make herself look like a ninja, but after
some coaxing from me, she took it off so that if we
were spotted, we wouldn’t look too much like
thieves. I was kind of worried about going out with
a girl who didn’t understand anything I said, not to
mention the fact that I was quickly finding diapers
didn’t make the very best sneaking undergarments…
As I got to the front door, I
heard a noise on the stairs and froze in fear as
Caroline and I watched Sophie run down the stairs
now dressed. Caroline smiled and I gave her a hug.
“You’re going to get me
disowned…” she said looking worried.
Caroline gave a thumbs up, she
I was somewhere between the
two. My previous experience with going out without
permission hadn’t gone very well, but at the same
time… if I didn’t want to be stuck like this
forever, I had to start somewhere.
I opened the door and the three
of us went out into the night.
It didn’t take us long to get
there. Caroline had insisted on taking back alley’s
and hopping someone’s fence to get to the back road.
Sophie did everything with a small reminder that if
we got caught we were all done for.
“This is it,” I said as I led
them to the ditch where my life had changed. “Last
time I was here, I found the wine bottle that I
drank, but the inspector took it.”
“Is this where Angélique found
I nodded and started moving to
“Why was she walking alone at
night around here?”
I stopped. I had no idea. “Is
there anything up the road?”
Sophie shook her head. “The
road goes for about 10 miles before it reaches
“That’s something to ask her
about tomorrow,” I said thinking on it. I didn’t
have time to figure this out tonight, we needed to
get the vineyards, and get back before trouble
The three of us came to the
wooden fence that flanked the entrance to the
“This is going
to be like a showdown isn’t it?”Caroline said with a
“Umm… I don’t
know if it’s going to be a showdown, I think she’s
just going to confront the owner and ask him some
“I used to
have ‘Ecstasy of Gold’ by Metallica! It’d be
perfect!” Caroline said throwing some horns.
I stopped and looked at her.
“Um… do I want to know what she’s talking about?”
Sophie shook her head no and
Caroline looked embarrassed.
would be good mood music.. I mean.. um.. I’ll be
The three of us moved like
teenage swat and went from fence post to fence post
as we made our way up the path to the main building.
As cool as it sounds, wearing diapers ruins it. In
all honesty, I’m not even really sure why we were
sneaking, I guess being here at night was the cause,
but I didn’t really have much of a plan besides show
up and investigate.
The barn where they had been
bottling was locked. The cellar was in there too. I
gave the big bolt lock a good tug, but it held the
double doors shut solid. There was a porch light on
at the small house on the property.
“What do we do
“Do you have a plan?” Sophie
“Not really… should we just
knock or try to get into the cellar some how?”
Sophie shrugged, but Caroline
tugged at my shirt and pointed to a small window on
the side of the barn. I nodded.
By: CS Fox
I pushed at the window, but it
“It’s no good,” I said pushing
at it one more time. I leaned back and sat down in
the grass. Should I risk a kick and break the glass?
The question was answered for
me as a small rock went sailing right through the
low window. There was a satisfying shatter as the
glass fell. I spun around to find Caroline looking
amazed at Sophie. My own mouth dropped open.
“Sorry,” Sophie said meekly.
“It was a little loud.”
I checked the house. No
movement. I grinned at Sophie. “Bad as me eh?”
She blushed. I quickly untucked
my shirt to start trying to clear away some of the
glass. I was able to unlatch the window and open it
without hurting myself. The three of us climbed into
the dark barn.
Nothing had changed since my
last visit. There were stacks of empty bottles, big
vats for stomping grapes, all the necessary things
for running an ol’ time vineyard. The girls looked
around curiously, but I pointed to the stairway
heading to the basement.
“Down there, the cellar is
where I was given the bottle.”
Sophie looked at it a little
nervously, already feeling bad about the rock. “Does
it have to be downstairs and underground? Is there
anything we could find up here… like close to the
window and doors in case we need to run away?”
Caroline was already doing a
ninja creep toward the cellar. I motioned for Sophie
to follow and reluctantly she did so.
I gropped my hand around at the
top of the staircase and eventually found a light
switch. The old lights hummed on and we started down
“Do you remember where it is,
or what it looks like?” Sophie asked as we were able
to see the rows and rows of bottles coming into the
“I think so,” I said a little
unsure. “We just need to look for bottles marked
with a year from the 1800’s. I didn’t actually see
where he got it from, but I know it’s in that
direction,” I pointed to where I’d been led.
sooo much wine.”Caroline said a little amazed.
She took out a bottle at random, looking at it
what are we looking for?”she asked Sophie.
year’s in the 1800’s.”
Caroline nodded and put the
bottle back. She didn’t quite seat it all the way
in. She was about to pick another bottle at random,
when the first bottle she’d touched slid out and
broke on the floor.
I nearly jumped out of my skin
hearing the crash. I ran over to the isle where
Caroline was and looked at her embarrassingly
standing above the dark purple mess. She tried to
smile and shrugged her shoulders.
I frowned and walked back over
to the isle I’d been searching. “It’s a good thing
we’re in cellar…” I muttered aloud. “If they don’t
notice the window upstairs, they’ll notice the
bottle down here… Guess it can’t be helped.”
“I’m not seeing anything older
then 1970,” Sophie called from another isle.
“Keep looking,” I called to
The three of us canvassed the
cellar for the better part of a half-hour. Sophie
was starting to get worried about spending too much
time down here. The more time we spent, the more
likely it was someone would notice we were here, or
that Angelique would find out we were gone.
I was about to agree and give
up when I started looking at the huge caskets of
I noticed something a little
odd, one of the huge casks wasn’t as dust covered as
the others. I walked up to it and ran my hand over
the wooden front. It wasn’t right, you could see
something was amiss just looking at it. It didn’t
look like the angle was right.
I pulled on the pour nozzle and
the front of it came open like a big door. There
were bottles inside. I smiled, this was promising.
I took out one of the bottles
and smirked. “1832,” I said reading the label. “This
is it,” I called to the girls. Caroline and Sophie
rushed over to see what I had.
Caroline marveled at the cask
like we’d found James Bond stuff.
“He was really
hiding stuff down here? This is the magic wine isn’t
Sophie took the bottle from me
and nodded to Caroline.
“Will it turn
me into a boy?” Caroline asked with a smile. She
reached a hand out for the bottle.
Sophie moved the bottle out of
“Don’t you dare find out… You’ll probably end up
diapered like Alouette.”
“What are you two talking
Sophie just waved her hand like
I didn’t want to know. “Let’s just get out of here,”
Sophie said thrusting the bottle back in my hands.
“We got what you wanted, let’s go before we get in
I nodded, “Let’s get the hell
out of here.”
I shut the casket and we made
our way back to the stairs. I had the bottle with me
and I was feeling pretty good about the whole
endeavor… but a part of me felt like something was
wrong, it’d been a bit too easy. I knew it was crazy
to go out like this at night and I’d sort of come to
terms with the notion that we would get caught, or
face some trouble but the whole thing had been
We got back into the barn and
went to the window, helping each other through. I
kept the bottle close. Combined with my passport, I
might be able to start an argument with some
credibility in the morning. Maybe I could even
arrange for a phone call and really make some
We did our ninja sneak again
and moved around the side of the barn and back down
the driveway. We were almost to the road when we
suddenly saw headlights coming.
Caroline dived behind a fence
post, flattening herself to the ground. Sophie did
the same on the other side of the driveway. I
followed suit with Sophie and we all breathed a
little hard, watching the lights head right toward
the driveway and then turn toward us.
Sophie began to hyperventilate,
and I did my best to give her some pats on the back
without moving too much. A moment later, the car
drove by us without stopping. I watched it go and
realized something kind of weird. The taillights
were smaller than most cars, and they were rounded…
I knew that car type…
The driver side door opened,
followed a second later by the passenger side. Two
men stepped out and started walking towards the
chateau. It was dark, and I couldn’t really make out
the faces of the men.
“You’re a good
friend Leroy, you always know how best to solve
just drunk you old fool. We’ll talk business in the
I heard them speaking something
in French before they walked up the steps. The door
opened, the light was turned on, and in they went.
I heard Caroline start to
laugh. “Haha, I was soo scared I wet the pull-up you let me borrow Alouette.”
Sophie was still having a hard
“You okay?” I asked patting her
shoulder. I kept my eye on the house.
She caught her breath and
nodded. “I thought for sure that’d be the police and
we’d be done.”
I nodded, “Did you hear what
they were talking about?”
“Drunken something, I couldn’t
hear it very well.”
Caroline low crawled across the
gravel driveway to us.
“This is soo exciting and scary at the same time.”
She said smiling. “It’s like the best sleep over
ever! Hehe, tell Alouette I need a new pull-up.”
I looked to Sophie for a
“She’s in her own little spy
world fantasy, I’ll let you know if she says
I raised an eyebrow. “Oookay…”
We ran down the rest of the
driveway and dove for the ditch, making our way back
to town. The further we got from the vineyard, the
easier all of us felt. I still couldn’t believe it
had gone as relatively well as it had. I know to
think about it is to jinx it, but after the week I’d
had, being cynical and expecting the worst was the
only thing I could do.
Unbelievably, we made it back
inside Angelique’s house… and there were no lights
on. She was still probably asleep upstairs.
“That was soo
fun!” Caroline said hugging me.
“Um… you’re welcome?” I said
understanding some of what she’d said.
we just committed a crime?” Sophie asked seeming
a little upset that Caroline was so happy about
“None of the
sleepovers I’ve ever been to do stuff like this.
Usually everyone just makes fun of me.” Caroline’s
smile faltered a little but remembering something,
she giggled, “You even broke a window Sophie.”
The three of us tried to sneak
back upstairs to my room.
“I think she’s still asleep,” I
whispered as we crept down the hallway. I still had
the wine in my hands and I realized that if she were
to wake up now and see us, things would get pretty
We tip toed to my door at the
end of the hall and quietly snuck inside. As soon as
we were in, Sophie let out a huge sigh of relief and
sank to the floor, breathing easier.
“Oh my god we made it back… and
we didn’t get in any trouble.”
I smiled. “I guess
sometimes even I can get lucky.”
Caroline just offered her
We took a moment to change back
into our PJs, hiding the dusty black clothes at the
bottom of the laundry basket.
“You better do something about
that bottle too, Angelique would freak if she found
you with that right now,” Sophie said pointing to
I nodded, “good idea, I’ll just
stash it in the closet for now.”
I went over to the closet and
stuffed the bottle in the back, hopefully it
wouldn’t be noticed there if Angelique went outfit
searching in the morning. I pushed some old shoes
and stuff around it, and I guess I nudged something
else in the process because a small pile of boxes
It wasn’t that loud, at least
it didn’t seem it. Sophie and Caroline looked at me
and the slight mess of stuff, standing absolutely
still. There was a slight creak on the floorboards
from the other room. I panicked and started stuffing
things back in the closet. Caroline and Sophie
rushed over to help. We definitely heard footsteps.
I was about to shut the closet
door when Angelique opened the door to my room and
she said looking in the dark until she found the
three of us looking at her from the closet.
“Umm, what are
you doing by the closet?”
I knew what she was asking
about… but I didn’t know if it would be a good idea
to show her the bottle right now.
Sophie held up a box of wipes,
“Just needed these! Alouette needs a change.”
I saw what she was holding and
heard my name… I tried to whisper at Sophie “I don’t
think I need a change right now.”
“Just make it so you do…” she
Angelique shook her head and
came over to us. She pushed the closet door closed
and smiled, patting Sophie’s head and taking the
“Sophie, you don’t need to worry about this, you
should have just gotten me if Alouette needed her
Angelique walked over to the
dresser, and as she did, Sophie looked at me
expectantly. Oh god, this was going to require me
too… I gulped. Forcing myself to wet was not really
something I’d wanted to do.
her if you need someone to do it,” Caroline said
Angelique looked at her a
“Um… no that’s
all right Caroline, I don’t mind,” she said
getting a clean diaper.
shouldn’t even really be up this late, its past
I had started wetting a little,
but I wasn’t wetting enough to warrant a change. If
she was going to buy this excuse I’d need a bit
Angelique set the diaper and
the wipes Sophie had gotten on the bed. She looked
at me expectantly and patted the mattress. I was
about to get up when suddenly it happened… Maybe I’d
pushed too hard, or maybe my control really was
slipping that badly, maybe it was the god damn MSG
from the Chinese earlier. Whatever it was, I
suddenly felt it rush into my diaper.
It wasn’t like the feeling
earlier today when I’d woken up and it was already
in my diaper. This was completely different. I was
fully aware of a warm wet something suddenly pushing
out the back of my diaper.
My bottom lip quivered and
Sophie’s mouth suddenly hung open. “You… you didn’t
I began to cry.
Angelique got up and came over
to me, “What’s wrong Alouette, why are you…” she suddenly smelt something a
“Oh.. oh my. You really do need a change,” she
said suddenly looking concerned.
“I knew it.
She does poop in her diapers,” Caroline said
with a nod to herself.
Angelique frowned at her, but
took my hand, leading me over to the bed.
Alouette… we’ll get you changed… it happened in your
sleep again I bet. You really should have woken me
up for this girls.”
Sophie was still stunned. She
got up and went over to Caroline, who was just
standing there watching as Angelique lifted up my
night shirt to untape my diaper.
“It’s rude to
stare,” Sophie said. Caroline was caught off
guard for a moment, not realizing she was staring,
she giggled hesitantly and scratched the back of her
even realize I was looking that attentively. It’s
probably best if I just run down the hall and change
in the bathroom, my um…” she laughed at herself,
undergarment is a little wet.. hehe, some joke huh?”
Caroline blushed and found her
panties, going back down the hallway as Angelique
began to change my diaper.
wondering how on earth you made it without diapers
when I first found you. This is in no way an
I was still crying. It had been
a disgusting feeling. There was no control, it was
scary in its own way.
Angelique wiped me clean and
taped up a fresh diaper. She said a few things in
French that had that ‘it’s okay, it’s not your
fault’ kind of connotation to it, but they didn’t
really help. She bid us good night and urged us to
go to bed. I sat up on the bed still sobbing. It
wasn’t till Sophie sat on the bed and put her arm
around me that I managed to stop. Caroline came back
in the room and apologized too, although I’m not
really sure for what.
“You okay?” Sophie asked.
I nodded, “At the very least… I
think she bought it.”
Sophie laughed a little,
“Please don’t tell me that was intentional.”
I shook my head ‘no’ very
Angelique was heading down the
hall to throw away my used diaper. She wanted to bag
it so it wouldn’t stink up the place. She got to the
bathroom and was putting it in a small bag as
suddenly, someone pounded on the door downstairs.
It shook the three of us back
in my room to reality. I rushed off the bed and
looked out in the hallway to a surprised looking
Angelique. She went to her room, and threw on a robe
over her PJs before going downstairs.
Sophie and Caroline were
quickly behind me, watching her go down the stairs.
“We’re sooo dead,” Sophie
“Plausible deniability,” I said
firmly. “Maybe it’s not about us.”
OPEN THE DOOR!!! YOUR LITTLE RUNAWAY HAS BEEN IN MY
Sophie clutched at my arm.
“We’re soo dead…” she said again.
By: CS Fox
Angelique went to the door
while tying her robe. Whoever it was, he liked to
pound on the door and kept demanding something about
Alouette. She looked through the peep hole and found
a man she didn’t recognize, but she saw her friend
Leroy behind him. Hesitantly she undid the lock.
runaway is a dirty little thieve!” the man
slurred nearly falling over backwards.
Angelique raised an eyebrow and
looked at Leroy.
what’s going on?”
bother you so late,” he said cooly,
Javier, a business associate of mine… He’s quite
convinced that your house guest broke into his
Leroy had a little bit of a
wine smell on his breath too.
been here all night. There’s no way she’s been out.”
She started to close the door,
but Leroy put his hand in to keep it open.
something that’s kind of important…”
Upstairs, I was looking out of
the window and could see a car out front. The driver
had parked it kind of on the curve like an idiot… I
couldn’t help but realize something I should have
earlier. The car was a BMW, the same one Angelique’s
admiring jerk-off drove. It was his car I’d seen at
the vineyard tonight.
“She broke in!
I know it!” Javier garbled. He pushed his way
past Leroy and shoved at the door. Angelique
shrieked and quickly threw her weight against it.
“Stop it! Get
out or I’ll call the police!”
We heard Angelique from
“What do we do, what do we do?”
Sophie kept repeating, walking around in a circle. I
caught her with my arm.
“Stay up here with Caroline.
Look for a phone, I’ll go downstairs. They’re after
me and I can talk my way out of this.”
Sophie looked at me hesitantly
but didn’t stop me as I went. I came down the stairs
just in time to see the winery guy shove his way
into the living room. Angelique stumbled backwards.
“Angelique!” I shouted,
immediately running to her.
The winery guy squinted and
looked at me. A smile cracked on his face.
“Is that him?”
he asked in a slur.
Leroy slapped the back of his
“You drunken moron, you’re going to get us in a lot
of trouble.” Leroy looked at Angelique. I was
standing protectively in front of her.
Angelique, we’ll leave in a moment, we just need to
talk to your guest.”
I was turning my head and
looking around for a knife, an umbrella, a fireplace
poker, anything to protect us with. I thought about
the chairs, but they were a bit big for my body to
wield. I didn’t want to leave Angelique.
“She can’t understand
English any better than you can understand French,”
Leroy said to me. I glared at him. He grabbed his
friend by the back of his shirt and held him at bay.
“She doesn’t think you left the house, but we know…
and we know what you took.”
I kept silent. I’m a good poker
player, you don’t reveal your hand in a situation
Leroy waited for me to say
something, but frowned when I just stood there.
Angelique was scared, and she didn’t understand what
was going on, but the immediate danger seemed to be
“Fine… you want to do this the
hard way?” He snarled. “We’ll leave and the police
will be back with a search warrant. Don’t think we
can’t prove you were at the vineyard tonight.” He
yanked at his friend again.
you, that stupid c*nt is not getting away. You said
it was an experiment we could keep under control! I
want the bottle back!”
Leroy led the drunk winery
owner out the door. Angelique was quick to run up
and lock it behind them, breathing heavy.She looked at me and quickly ran up to give me a hug. Sophie and
Caroline came running down the stairs when they
heard the men leave.
“They know we were there,” I
said quietly to Sophie.
She nodded, “The winery guy was
yelling that earlier.”
“I want you to
ask Alouette what that was about!” Angelique
said letting go of me and looking straight at
Sophie shrank back a little.
“She wants to know what that was all about,” Sophie
translated. She gave me a look like ‘we’re dead
I looked at Angelique a little
nervously. I guess it was truth time. I looked to
Caroline, who gave me another thumbs up.
“Let’s tell her,” I said
softly. I took a chair and sat down on my crinkling
rear. Angelique looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
“What he was
saying wasn’t true… right? Sophie… you, Alouette and
Caroline have been here all night, haven’t you?”
she asked looking at Sophie with her stern
Sophie was getting visibly
distressed. “She’s not going to be happy about this
“Maybe she’ll believe us this
Sophie started to translate my
story for her, about how some bad wine had made me
what I am… but Angelique rolled her eyes.
again… Please, don’t change the subject, have you
girls been upstairs since I put you to bed or not?”
not the important part!” Caroline interrupted. “Why
don’t you believe Alouette’s story? Those winery
bastards turned her from a boy into a girl!”
listen to what you are saying, boys do not just
magically change into girls. Alouette is a girl and
has always been one. I’ve changed her diapers for a
week, she’s a girl, trust me.”
Sophie was translating the back
and forth. Angelique wasn’t buying a word of this. I
excused myself a moment and I walked back upstairs
to get my passport, as well as the bottle I had
hidden earlier. From the looks of Sophie and
Caroline, they knew what I was getting.
When I came back downstairs,
Angelique saw the bottle and marched right up to me.
this tonight didn’t you? You went out of the house!”
She took the bottle out of my
hands and looked at me like she couldn’t believe it.
The last time I’d come in the house with a wine
bottle, things hadn’t gone well.
She looked at Sophie.
girls been out of the house tonight?!” She
Sophie bit her lip. Caroline
nodded “We had to get the magic wine bottle to prove to you…”
Angelique couldn’t hold it
back. “You filled their heads with lies so you could steal wine?!” she
screamed at me. The idea was almost so incredible
that she couldn’t believe it. I knew her tone of
voice, this was bad… Tears were coming to my eyes
and I could see her start to reach back for the slap
she had given me last time.
I cowered back, and held up my
passport with both hands to protect my cheek.
Angelique stopped with her hand all the way back and
just looked at me. She yanked the passport out of my
hands and opened it up.
“What… what is
this?” She asked looking at the picture.
“Her name was
Andy,” Sophie said softly.
Angelique looked at the
passport surprised and then at me.
“Did she steal
“I stole it,”
“My father had
it… He said he found it in the ditch along the side
of the road. I gave it to Alouette tonight and she
told me the truth.”
Alouette is a good girl deep down, I can tell, but
her story… it’s not true, how can it be?”
“There’s a lot
of stuff about Alouette that can’t be explained, and
although it sounds crazy, I really think she used to
be that guy.”
Caroline said putting her hands on her hips.
“And I bet she
was hot too.”
Angelique and Sophie looked at
Caroline, and shook their heads simultaneously.
Angelique’s thumbed through the
passport again and took a good long look at me. When
her eyes met mine, I started repeating all the
“My name is Anthony,” and I
spat out everything…My social security, my address,
my age, everything that I remembered. It was a
stream of consciousness like someone who has a song
in their head they just have to get out. Angelique
looked a bit more shocked, and even more confused.
There was another knock at the
door, although not as hostile as the last had been.
Angelique looked at it hesitantly, then back at me.
She put down the passport and the wine and went to
the door. She peered through the peep-hole.
Facet,” she said in a hoarse voice.
I froze. This was bad. After
this morning, even Angelique knew that he had it in
“I’m going to
need you to open this door Angelique,” he called
from the other side of the door.
Angelique hesitated a moment.
“Girls, why don’t you head back upstairs.”
I was shaking… I didn’t know if
I wanted to leave Angelique alone like this.
her!”Sophie cried out, quickly grabbing the wine
bottle and hugging it to her chest.
“Don’t let him
in, make sure he’s got someone with him. My Papa
should be on duty. Policemen don’t come into
someone’s house alone unless they don’t want people
to see what they’re doing.”
Angelique wasn’t sure if that
was right or not, but she waited for the girls to
run upstairs while the man knocked a few more times.
caught me kind of late Inspector,” she called.
“Are… are you working alone tonight?”
Angelique, I’m working alone. Please open the door,
I do not wish to ask again.”
Angelique took a step back from
the door, something didn’t seem right.
“… Officer Rousseau’s daughter is here, and she
informed me that policemen usually don’t work alone
when making house calls this late.”
There was a pause on the other
side of the door for a moment. Then the knocking
came back, this time more insistent.
“I have reason
to believe your house guest has broken the tentative
rules we’ve set for her. Open this door Angelique.”
Sophie, Caroline and I sat at
the top of the stairs just out of sight of the door.
We couldn’t see it, but we could hear every word.
“He’s going to come in and take
you away,” Sophie said short of breath.
“We have to do
something!”Caroline said shifting nervously. The
adventure earlier had been fun… but armed policemen
were a different type of excitement, one she wasn’t
bottle Caroline, I’m going to call my Papa.”
Sophie passed the bottle and
Caroline looked bewildered for a moment. I tugged at
Sophie’s nightgown. “Wait, what are you doing?”
“I’m going to call my Papa.
This isn’t right. You know Inspector Facet is
connected to the two that stopped by earlier.”
Sophie’s nightgown slipped out
of my hand as she went down the stairs two at a
time, rushing for the phone while Angelique was
still at the door. Caroline and I moved halfway down
the stairs so we could see what was going on.
back upstairs!” Angelique called.
“You have to
the count of three to open this door before I break
it down!” The inspector yelled, pounding the
Angelique looked scared and
cast a worried glance my way up the stairs.
upstairs, I’ll handle this… Please, just get
upstairs and lock yourself in the bedroom.”
I couldn’t move, Sophie was
already dialing on the phone. She was shaking
nervously as she punched in the numbers.
Yes it’s an emergency! I need to speak to Officer
There was a sound of
splintering wood, and a shriek from Angelique as she
was suddenly pushed from the door. It swung open and
banged against its hinges.
ladies…” Inspector Facet said coming into the
living room… drawing his gun.
This time it was Caroline who
shrieked, throwing an arm around me and pulling me
close. I gasped as my head was suddenly held next to
the wine bottle and the chest of the taller girl.
She started to half crawl, half drag me up the
stairs with her.
Sophie was standing absolutely
still as if cast in stone with the receiver still
held to her ear.
Inspector Facet raised his gun
“The American comes with me.”
Angelique slowly raised a
quivering hand to her mouth, as if she couldn’t
believe reality… someone had broken into her home;
someone who was supposed to be protecting her,
someone who was pointing a gun at her.
There was a moment where no one
moved. We all just looked at the Inspector and the
said forcefully. Her instincts were stronger then
Inspector Facet thumbed the
safety and cocked the hammer of his weapon.
I’m not asking again.”
“No!!” I screamed, trying to
break free of Caroline’s grasp. I stumbled down the
stairs, half hiding behind the railing at the
bottom. I wanted to help… but… I was afraid of him…
afraid of what he might do to us.
“Alouette!” Angelique waved her
arm at me like she wanted me to go back upstairs.
I shook my head no.
pointing a gun at Angelique!” Sophie yelped into
the receiver of the phone. She’d stood so still and
so quiet before, that it was almost like she wasn’t
in the room. Now everyone was looking at her, and
her eyes went wide as the gun was pointed her way.
Inspector Facet walked up to
Sophie and grabbed the phone from her hand, slamming
it down. He drew his other arm back and pistol
whipped her across the face.
Angelique screamed, Sophie
stumbled over and fell towards me. I rushed forward
and caught her. She was shaking, there were tears on
her face, and a drop of blood at the corner of her
mouth… but she seemed okay.
Her hand pawed at her lips like
she couldn’t believe she’d been struck. She clutched
at me, her eyes wide with fear as the gun was now
trained on the two of us. Caroline rushed down the
monster.” Angelique managed to say. Her hand
wasn’t quivering now, it was in a fist. The man had
struck one of her students.
“Move and they
die,” he said coldly. He kept his eyes on us,
and he noticed the bottle in Caroline’s arms.
“…All three of
them are coming with me.”
“He has the
gun.” Leroy said as he walked in through the
open front door. His drunken friend Javier was right
Anqelique said at the familiar face.
“I said I’d be
back with the police. You should have listened to me
“He’s waving a
gun around and threatening to kill us! You have to
Leroy shrugged and Javier
sauntered over to the Inspector.
“Well the American won’t really
come along quietly will she?”
I looked up at the first
English I’d heard in a little while. I swallowed
hard and pressed myself a little harder to Caroline
“I’ll go quietly… just put the
“See.. the gun
makes her reasonable.”
“Non!” Angelique shouted at me.
Leroy moved in front of her as she started to run to
Inspector Facet motioned toward
the door with his gun. “All three of you, outside.”
“WHAT? I’m the one you want,
leave them out of it.”
He took a step toward us and
had the gun less then three feet from our faces. He
didn’t say anything, just held it there for us to
look at. Caroline was even beginning to shake and
cry now. I took her hand, and Sophie’s and gripped
them tightly, getting to my feet.
bottle of wine!” Javier said suddenly keying in
on something the taller girl had in her other hand.
He made a drunken lunge at Caroline, who shrieked
and out of instinct, kicked him square in the nuts.
He swore and stumbled back, as
Angelique began to struggle against Leroy, crying
herself now, frantically trying to reach toward me
and the girls.
In front of the gun, we walked out the door
together, moving through fear, not submitting to it
only because of the strength we shared through the
bonds in our hands. Angelique was hysterical, it
took all of Leroy’s strength to hold her back.
Javier came behind us, swearing
and walking a little funny.
By: CS Fox
“Get in.” Inspector Facet said
motioning to his police car. Besides the BMW halfway
on the sidewalk, it was the only vehicle nearby at
this early hour of the morning. The three of us
looked at each other and hesitated.
Inspector Facet didn’t have any
patience and clumsily tried to kick us, but we
started moving before he could. Javier was just
behind him and he tried not to shout at him and wake
the neighborhood. “Get
in the passenger side, we have to leave now, the one
with glasses called my department.”
“Good… let the
little c*nts rot in jail,” he slurred.
Inspector Facet frowned and
quickly put his gun away
“I don’t think
my partners would approve of… nevermind, just get in
the damn car.”
The three of us were holding
each other in the back of the car. A part of me
wanted to run, let the night hide me, but… I wasn’t
about to gamble Sophie and Caroline. We just pressed
close together in the back of the car.
Javier stumbled into the front
seat and smiled at us blearily.
Inspector Facet opened his door
just as Leroy came running out of the house. He had
a bag over his back and I could see he had a scratch
across his cheek and his hair was a bit more messed
up then it had been.
“I got her
locked in her own pantry. I had to shove just about
everything in the kitchen up against it. It won’t
hold her forever, but she doesn’t have a car, so we
can put some distance between us.”
The Inspector nodded and got
into his car.
“Follow me out, try not to make it look like we’re
in a rush.”He shut his door and started the
engine. Caroline spit at him through the cage. He
turned around and glared at the three of us. I
wasn’t really feeling Caroline’s insubordination.
“He… he didn’t hurt Angelique
did he?” I asked still following Leroy with my eyes
as he went to his car.
A smile creeped across the
Inspector’s face, and he did a nonchalant shrug as
he put the car into gear and took us away from
“She’s okay…” Sophie said
softly squeezing my hand. “The man in the other car
side he just locked her into the pantry.”
I nodded but couldn’t find much
“You big jerk,
where are you taking us?” Caroline asked, she
was scared, but she was angry too. Changing her grip
on the wine bottle, she held it like a bat, but I
put a hand on her wrist shaking my head no. It
wouldn’t do anything through the police cage.
winery!” Javier laughed drunkenly.
Inspector Facet frowned at him
again, “Not the smartest place to go right now, don’t worry girls, I know a
There was silence as we drove
in the dawn hours. My nerves were shot, after the
day I’d had, the night we’d had, and the lack of
sleep… not to mention a diaper I’d about saturated
in fear… I was ready to faint.
I’d about had it. “Why… why did
you do this to me?”
I could see Inspector Facet
smile through the rear view mirror. “You’re about
the most rebellious little American girl ever to
come to France,” he joked.
I flipped the bird, “I wasn’t
always a girl, thanks to the wine.”
Javier laughed now as the
Inspector translated it.
“So you’re not going to deny I
used to be a guy?”
“I suppose its past that point
now, isn’t it… Anthony?”
My mouth hung open a moment, as
“Can… can I ever change back?”
Javier only laughed more.
“What does the American want now?”
bitching about wanting to know if she can change
back into a guy.”
“Not be any
means I know… haha, who’d have tha grapes a do
Sophie suddenly looked at me
with sad eyes, and Caroline hugged me a little
“What did they say?” …but I
think I already knew…
“…they don’t know a way to
change you back.”
Tears came to my eyes…and a part of me died in that moment.
We drove a bit longer in
silence. We weren’t going to the winery, we were
heading in the opposite direction. I didn’t think we
were going to the police department, not with Sophie
in the car and her dad on the force. The inspector
just kept driving, and the winery owner fell asleep.
At one point, I think I saw
flashing police lights going down another street,
but I couldn’t be sure, it was still dark out and we
only passed the street for a moment. I leaned
forward a bit to see if French Police cars were like
American ones, and sure enough I saw a radio on the
dash… but it was turned off.
Sophie looked my way when she
saw me in thought. I leaned in to whisper, “You’re
dad has to know something’s up now. After your call,
and the Inspector’s radio being off, he must suspect
The car began to slow. I looked
around and was rather surprised to find that we’d
take a roundabout route too… too the church and
school? The Inspector got out of the car and opened
our door, waving for us to get out. Hesitantly we
The BMW pulled up a moment
later, taking out a mailbox in the process.
“What the hell
are we going to do here?” Leroy asked hoping out
of his car. He put that same bag he’d taken from
Angelique’s over his shoulder.
“Shut up and
just help me get them inside.”
Javier woke up, and scratched
his head, stumbling out of the car.
“You.. wan I
shuld halp too?”
The inspector nodded and
pointed at Sophie who huddled a little closer to me.
Taking me by the shoulder, and taking out his gun
once more, the Inspector marched me into the school,
breaking the three of us apart. Javier took Sophie
and Leroy got Caroline, yanking the bottle of wine
from her hand and stuffing it in the bag he carried.
“Somehow I knew the old Nun was
in on it,” I said as we headed in.
The Inspector laughed,
“Actually no, she’s just a bitch and most likely to
side with me right now.”
I frowned, and then stopped
when I realized he hadn’t brought me to school, he
opened the chapel side door and dragged me toward
locks it, I checked earlier,” Inspector Facet
said to Leroy.
getting a little out of hand Inspector. Angelique’s
going to tell the police that you, Javier and I were
involved in kidnapping. How are we going to explain
“Idiot, I am
the police. Don’t worry about them, they’ll never
charge into the church, just let me talk to the
Headmistress. We can finish out the experiment
before everything is for naught.”
let us go! I hope Sophie’s papa shoots you all,”
Caroline said struggling against Leroy.
Inspector Facet opened the door
to the nursery and all of us went in.
By: CS Fox
Nursuries are supposed to be
calm places, somewhere that's peaceful for little
It certainly didn't feel that
way with myself and my two best friends being held
hostage. Jesus Christ, it was even a nursery
connected to a church! The inspector is sooooooo
going to hell.
Caroline, Sophie and myself
were sitting quietly, huddled together in a corner.
Sophie had a vice grip on my hand, softly repeating
something in French to herself. Caroline was sitting
with her arms crossed, angry, but oddly smirking.
“You'll never get away with
this!” Caroline spat. “I'll never talk! You can't
make me talk!”
“Get you to talk?” Leroy
asked confused. “I wish I could get you to shut up.”
“All right girls, its time
to finish up the experiment,” Inspector Facet said
motioning to Leroy for the bag. “The first results
got a little jumbled thanks to my friend Javier.”
The winemaker made an
obscene gesture with his crotch. “Fuck off
Inshpector! If ya didn't wan me to ushe the wine,
you shouldn't have told me to be on tah look out for
a shuitable candidate.”
“I wanted a candidate we
could keep track of! You gave it to the American
because she insulted your wine, and then let her
Sophie nudged me. “They're
arguing about you.”
“What are they saying?”
“Its about when you first drank
the wine. They were looking for a test subject and
Javier got mad at you when he was supposed to give
it to someone else.”
“Just give me the damn
bottle,” Inspector Facet said grabbing at the bag.
Leroy gave it up and the Inspector freed the bottle
Seeing the catalyst of what had
changed my life... I slowly tried to hide myself
behind Sophie and Caroline. I could even feel my
diaper getting wetter as my body shook in fear.
“Alouette... I'll give you the
choice. Get over here and drink the bottle or pick a
friend to do it for you.”
“Eat shit and die.”
The Inspector shook his head
and raised his gun again. “Let's do this a little
differently then. Someone drinks, or I shoot.”
The three of us huddled a
little closer together.
“Coward!” Caroline yelled.
The inspector rolled his eyes.
“I'm a busy man tonight and this needs to happen
now. Leroy, gab the tall one, we already know what
happens when a boy drinks it.”he said waving the gun
A lot of things happened very
quickly. Sophie and Caroline both grabbed onto me
while the Inspector and Leroy began to advance on
us. Javier was laughing and I think I was screaming.
The gun. The bottle. The one
thing that the three of us knew was that we didn't
want to be near either, and sharing one mind, we
looked at each other and bolted in different
directions. Sophie ran and dived under one of the
cribs. I ran for the changing table, grabbing any
solid object I could from the stocks. Caroline ran
for the bathroom and tried to lock herself in... but
Leroy was right after her, and had his foot in the
“Leave her alone jerk!!” I said
throwing a box of wipes and then a bottle of powder
at him. The wipes hit the wall near him and he
turned to glare at me just as the bottle hit him in
the back and let out a big white poof, covering his
nice clothes. Caroline took the moment of surprise
to slam the door on his foot.
“MERD!” he yelled grabbing his
foot. Caroline shut and locked the door as she
hopped around for a second with the wine cradled
under his arm.
“I don't f***ing believe
this...” Inspector Facet said rolling his eyes as he
watched the whole thing. Javier was just about dying
laughing, this was apparently the funniest thing
he'd ever seen. I pelted the Inspector with a bottle
of baby oil. He shrugged it off and growled before
aiming his gun at the ceiling and firing a single
Guns are surprisingly loud when
fired inside a room. Sophie and I screamed and
covered our heads. The smell of gunpowder lingered
as the Inspector marched right up to me and used his
free hand to push me to the ground. He put his knee
on the small of my back and held the gun to the base
of my skull.
“I'm not playing games any
more.” He yelled. “You under the crib...” he said
glaring at Sophie. “And you in the bathroom... If
you can hear me, I have Alouette on the ground with
a gun to her head. I want both of you in front of me
in ten seconds or I'll stain the carpet with brain
“How do I know a coward like
you isn't lying!?” Caroline yelled from the
Sophie was hysterical, she
crawled out from under the crib as fast as she
could. “He's not lying! Please Caroline... PLEASE,
just do as he says.”
The bathroom door opened
slowly. Caroline poked her head out and Leroy was
quick to grab her by the hair and drag her out into
the middle of the floor with the Inspector and I.
She struggled and cursed, but didn't do anything to
provoke the Inspector into hurting me.
“Open the bottle,” the
Inspector demanded when he had Sophie and Caroline
kneeling in front of me. Leroy tugged at it a
moment, and had to use his teeth to pull the cork
Hearing the cork pop, I began
to cry harder and struggle under Inspector Facet. He
just pressed his gun a little stronger to me.
“Don't...” he said once as a warning. He looked up
to Caroline. “You. Drink half.”
Caroline looked unsure exactly
what she was supposed to do, but Leroy thrust the
bottle down in her hands. She looked at it for a
moment, as if she was holding a mystery and then
looked back up at the Inspector.
Leroy was about to grab the
bottle and force it down her throat... but Caroline
lifted it up and began guzzling the contents.
“WOOHHHOO!! There's a
f***ing CHAMP!” Javier said slapping his knee
and watching the teen. She didn't even seem to be
spluttering, just tipped it back and downed it.
Caroline gasped as she stopped
drinking. Her face said it all... it tasted
wonderful. She smiled lop sided for a moment. Her
shoulders relaxing and head drifting a little lazily
from left to right.
“Quick, hand it off to the
other girl,” Inspector Facet demanded.
Caroline looked at him and
“Do it or your friend dies!”
Caroline hiccuped comically...
before smashing the half-full bottle into the side
of Inspector Facet's face. A moment earlier, I felt
his body jerk as he sensed something about to
happen, and wanting to see what it was, I moved my
head and felt the barrel slide off my neck slightly,
and just in time. I saw the glass shatter, and there
was a sudden searing hot burn as the gun went off
just below my right ear.
I screamed and tried to curl
up, thinking I'd been shot... my ears ringing and
Sophie screaming too. I felt Caroline grab at my
hand and pull me out from under Inspector Facet,
causing him to topple over backwards.
“RUN!” Sophie yelled through
her tears. I couldn't hear her, but each girl had
one of my hands, and together we ran straight into
the nursery door, knocking it open and bursting into
the foyer of the church and not stopping as we
We could hear swearing from the
Inspector and Leroy and more laughter from
Javier.... but that quickly stopped at the sound of
“Quickly... three blocks... the
police station!” Sophie said, trying to keep herself
together. Caroline giggled and started trying to
skip in the direction Sophie was pointing, but only
managed to trip and nearly fall on her face. My ears
were still ringing, but holding tight to her hand, I
pulled her up and tried to throw her arm around my
neck. I knew what she was going through... it
probably wouldn't be long before she'd pass out.
The streets were empty this
late at night... but this was a residential area.
Gun fire was something that woke people from their
beds in supposedly peaceful towns like this. I could
see one or two lights on, and a head in one of the
windows... At the very least, it was encouraging
that the police might be called.
The three of us started
shambling away from the church, turning and running
through the school yard. It was only a few moments
before we could hear the slam of the wooden doors
inside and the heavy thumping of someone leaving the
church. The Inspector and Leroy were shouting at one
another. This was most definitely not in their
plan... everything was going wrong... and I worried
that they may end up killing us now if they found
There was another gunshot and
we saw a piece of the stone wall surrounding the
school yard 'piff' with the ricochet. Sophie and I
screamed and kept trying to run, now dragging
Caroline who's head was starting to rest on my
shoulder. The wall looked like our best bet. It was
only waist high, but it looked solid enough to stop
a pistol round.
We managed to hit and sort of
flip over the wall to the other side of the school
yard just as another shot narrowly missed us. I
landed with a padded thud, my head still spinning.
We didn't have a lot of distance, maybe only fifty
yards on the two of them...
“You F***ING little cunts! The
nervvvvvveee to hit muah....”
“Shut the hell up... I'm
fah-ine... I don't care what happens, so long as
those three end up dead...”
Sophie was once again repeating
“Oh god” to herself with her back firmly planted
against the stone. Caroline was gone, I could feel
her full body weight pressing to my shoulder as she
began to snore loudly. Her breath smelt like grapes.
“Come out... COME OUT!!!”
Inspector Facet yelled. I was frantically looking
around for somewhere we could run... or something we
could use to escape... but as the Inspector kept
talking, and taunting, and probably coming closer...
he began to noticeably slur his speech. “Get feh fuc
ouhh.... Iiiiii shoooot yuuuu.”
There were four more rapid fire
shots, one hitting the top of the short stone wall.
Sophie screamed and clung to me. I fought back
tears, shivering in fear and hoping for a miracle...
but what I heard was a loud thud.
“You stupid bastard,” I heard
I heard more movement, I
hesitantly lifted my head a little to peak over the
stone. The Inspector was laying face down in the
school yard, his hair matted in something wet, the
gun still in his hand. Leroy was standing over him
and quickly tried to help him up. He shook the
inspector a few times, but all he did was murmur and
try to push Leroy away.
Leroy grabbed the gun from his
hand looked over at our wall. I quickly dropped my
head back down.
I heard movement again... and I
pulled Sophie and Caroline tighter to me... saying a
silent prayer. I knew that any minute now... Leroy
would jump the wall and would have us.
The movement noise faded... and
slowly got further and further away. I heard a car
door, and a screech... and then all I heard was
Sophie crying. My head was clearing slowly, but my
heart was still beating so fast... I slowly dared to
lift my head up again and peak back into the school
yard. There was no sign of Leroy... just the
Inspector face down.
The sound of sirens split the
night... Reds and blues began to jump off the walls
of the houses lining the streets.
I couldn't help myself... I
kissed Sophie on the forehead and held her close.
“We're okay!” I said crying with her. “We're going
to be okay.” I looked over at Caroline who was
blissfully asleep... and wetting herself. “We're...
mostly okay...” I said suddenly getting a little
Police cars skidded to a halt
all around the school. Bright headlights were
pointed right at the three of us. “ALOUETTE!!!” I
heard Angélique scream as she jumped out of one of
the cars. Sophie's father jumped out of the other
Armed officers checked
Inspector Facet, finding him alive, and apparently
sleeping. Two more checked inside the church...
finding the body of Javier. At the wall, Angélique
hugged the three of us as hard as she could,
speaking jibberish between tears.
The worst of it was over.
By: CS Fox
Local media was all over the
shooting and hounded Angélique and I for a few days
immediately after. The actual story itself was
pretty murky, especially since all those directly
involved did not share some key facts. Sophie's
father was put in charge of the investigation, and
he had our backs.
On the subject of wine... we
learned an interesting fact the very next day after
our great scare. The wine didn't need to be ingested
to take effect. Angélique and I went to the jail to
have choice words with Inspector Facet about what
he'd done... and found a teenage girl crying in his
“Karma's a bitch isn't it?”
I've never been happier with a
single sentence to leave my mouth. Although unsure
what to do with her, Inspector Bedeau, the former
partner of the mysterious girl in the jail cell
wouldn't listen to my suggestions of sending her to
a juvenile hall. ...she did look pretty pathetic.
Her face had a few scars on one cheek where the wine
bottle had shattered, and thinking back on the
night... he erm she... was covered pretty thoroughly
in the wine. I warned the Inspector she'd probably
need diapers soon.
We also learned something else
about the wine that same day too... it didn't have
ridiculous gender changing effects on girls.
Caroline remained Caroline... although she soon
wound up in diapers like me. I'd like to blame the
wine as the reason for that... but with Caroline...
I'm not actually sure.
After a few apologies from the
school headmistress regarding her close ties with
the fallen Inspector Facet, she begrudgingly offered
Angéliqueher old teacher position back... which she
politely declined. She began a steady job as home
teacher to Caroline, Sophie and myself... although I
argued to the best of my ability that I didn't need
to go through school again... she would have none of
it. I looked 16 and for the foreseeable future, I
was going to be 16. Blah.
We never heard from Leroy
again. There were a few times that I worried he
might show up again some day, but I did rest a
little easier knowing he was a wanted man. His face
was all over the local police stations in connection
with the murder of Javier and Inspector Facet (who
wasn't actually dead, but might as well have been...
as a teenage girl, she was practically catatonic).
On a closing note... I
eventually accepted what happened as my new reality.
As painful as it was, I felt that my family needed
some closure and one night, while holding
Angélique's hand for support, I called my mom and
dad to tell them a lie. Anthony died while
sightseeing in France. I embellished a little,
saying that he'd saved my life in connection with
the Javier and Facet murder... but it was still hard
hearing them cry over the phone... somehow it was
easier then telling them the truth. I know my mom
and dad, they might have believed me if I told them
Anthony was now Alouette... but I don't think they
would have accepted that in their hearts. It was for
That's pretty much the end to
my story. In a single week I'd been through hell...
and unfortunately, things didn't go back to the way
they were... I am Alouette now... A young girl
living in France.