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When Hannah eventually woke up, it was twelve in the afternoon. She knew that Sylvia and Martin would have already gone to their friend's house. Hannah knew that her nappy was wet, but couldn't be bothered to change it. Marie was still asleep. Hannah realised that her dummy wasn't in her mouth, so she sat up and looked around for it. She lifted up the covers and eventually found it, but was surprised to see that Marie was no longer wearing her nappy. She was back in the shorts she had originally been wearing. Hannah put the dummy back in her mouth, and lied back down. She decided to wait for Marie to wake up.
As Hannah was waiting, she deliberately wet her nappy, hoping that the nappy would be able to hold it. Hannah would have been mortified if she had leaked onto Marie's sheets. Marie woke up about twenty minutes after Hannah.
"Morning" she said rubbing her eyes.
"Morning" Hannah replied. She had taken the dummy out of her mouth before Marie spoke.
"How come you're not wearing the nappy?"
"Oh that" said Marie. She knew that Hannah would ask her about it, but didn't realise that it would be the first thing that was said.
"I kind of realised that I sort of didn't like it. I woke up about three hours after we fell asleep needed to pee. I tried to go in the nappy so that I wouldn't have to get out of bed. But I couldn't, even when I tried sitting up. So I got up and went to the bathroom. And I sat there on the toilet with the nappy still on. I tried to relax so that I could go. Anyway I managed to go a little bit, but it felt really weird, because all the wetness was going to the same place. So I ended up struggling to pull the nappy down, so that I could sit on the toilet and go properly. I ended up ripping the nappy in the rush to get it off. So I couldn't put it back on. So I came back in here and wrapped it in a bag, then put on some knickers and my shorts"
"Ok. So you didn't like peeing in the nappy then?"
"No. I mean it might have been different if I could have changed my position and kind of spread the wetness around. I might try it again, but not use it to see what it feels like. Because I mean I fell asleep right after I put it on, so I didn't really get a chance to figure out if I liked the way it felt. Do you think you would mind me having another of your nappies at some point?"
"No. Just say when you are ready to try it again"
"Thanks" said Marie as her stomach rumbled.
"Are you hungry? Because I am"
"Yeah. Starving actually" said Hannah.
"My parents will have gone by now so we can go and get something. Do you think it would be weird to have cereal? Because it is lunchtime"
"I'm not in the mood to have cereal. We can look when we go downstairs and see what there is," said Hannah.
"But before I go anywhere, I need to take off this nappy. I kind of wet it again whilst I was waiting for you to wake up".
"I'll meet you downstairs then. Unless you need some help"
"No I'm fine," said Hannah. They both got out of the bed. Marie went to go to the toilet before she went downstairs. Hannah got out everything she was going to need, and put it on the floor next to where she was going to take her nappy off. She sat on the floor, with her legs spread apart and ripped the nappy open using the tapes. She wiped herself, and then pulled the nappy from underneath her. She put her legs through the holes of her pull-up and got it up her legs and up to her thighs, at which point she stood up, and pulled it up completely. Once she had disposed of the pee soaked nappy, she grabbed the trousers she had brought to wear. Hannah thought of Marie, and in particular Marie saying that she didn't mind Hannah not covering up her pull-up. Hannah spent a bit of time debating in her head whether or not to wear the trousers. On one hand it would be more comfortable without the trousers and she would be able to tell easier if she had an accident. On the other hand Marie would also be able to tell if Hannah had an accident. Hannah decided to leave her pull-up exposed.
"After all" she said as she walked down the stairs "I only wet my nappy a bit ago, so its not like I am going to need to go for a while". She walked into the kitchen and Marie smiled when she saw Hannah wearing only her pull-up and a top.
"So what do you want to eat? I'm gonna have a bacon sandwich. Do you want me to make one for you as well?"
"Yeah thanks". Marie started making the sandwiches.
"Do you want any help?"
"No it's ok. Just sit down, and I will sort it out," Marie said. Hannah went over to the kitchen table and sat down at one of the seats. She turned the seat round slightly so that she could watch Marie. Marie moved around the kitchen and had quickly made some bacon sandwiches. She brought them over and sat down at the table opposite Hannah.
"This is really nice" Hannah said.
"Um...can I talk to you about something?" Hannah said.
"Yeah. You can talk to me about anything. You don't have to ask"
"Well, it is kind of embarrassing. I am going to try and speak to my mum about it later on today I think, but it is really worrying me"
"What is it Han?"
"I don't want your parents walking in or anything whilst we are talking, so can we go back up to your room after we have finished" said Hannah. She was intending to tell Marie about her accidents becoming more frequent, and that she was worried that she might end up having to wear nappies all the time rather than just at home and at night. Even though Hannah knew that Marie wasn't going to be able to offer medical advice, she would hopefully be able to think of a way for Hannah to tell her mum.
When they had finished eating Marie just left all the pots in the sink. They both went back upstairs.
"I'm just gonna go to the toilet before I we talk" Hannah said. She wanted to make sure that her bladder was empty before she got involved in talking to Marie.
Hannah pulled down her pull-up and sat down on the toilet. Hannah didn't actually think that she needed to go to the toilet, but she hoped that she might be able to do something anyway. After sitting there for five minutes without even a drip coming out of her, she decided to get up from the toilet. As she bent down to grab her pull-up, which had fallen round her ankles, Hannah hoped that she would be able to keep her pull-up dry at least until after she had finished talking to Marie. She remembered that she had wet her pull-up when she had told Kendra about her pull-ups and bedwetting a couple of days before. After Hannah had finished in the bathroom she went into Marie's room. Marie was sat on her bed leaning against the wall. She was still wearing her pyjamas. Hannah went and sat cross-legged on the bed facing Marie. She was very aware that her pull-up was completely on show, and if she had an accident whilst she was talking, then it was probably going to be very obvious to Marie.
"Ok" said Hannah breathing out loudly.
"Um...I know that you aren't going to be able to help really, beyond just listening, but I am going to have to tell my mum, so maybe you could just sort of help me figure out a way to help me tell my mum. I mean you don't have to if you don't want to. But I mean it will help me just organise my thoughts and what I want to say to my mum"
"You are really confusing me. I mean what sort of thing is it that is embarrassing, and that you have to tell your mum. I mean is it going to be embarrassing to tell your mum or embarrassing for you to tell anyone?"
"Embarrassing for me to tell anyone. It's kind of about my accidents during the day"
"Oh right ok. What is it about them?"
"Well, um...I used to have about one accident every couple of days"
"Yeah" said Marie nodding her head.
"In the last few days I have noticed them becoming more frequent. I mean, do you remember when I spoke to you on MSN on Tuesday?"
"Well, after we both signed off I noticed that my pull-up was wet. Then I spent the evening at my sister's flat. I was in a nappy so I deliberately wet myself a couple of times. And I even pooped on purpose" said Hannah. She noticed Marie's expression change as she said that, and Hannah wondered if she had actually mentioned to Marie that when she was in a nappy at home, she didn't use the toilet at all.
"But I was in a dry nappy at the time, and I had just been outside with my sister. When we got back inside I realised that I had accidentally wet myself. As soon as I realised that it was the second time in one day I completely freaked out. Seriously I was crying and everything. I ended up sitting on my mum's knee with her rocking me back and forth to try and calm me down. Allie went to get my dummy from my bag, and Louise went to get a bottle of juice. You know, a baby bottle". Marie was really shocked at the reaction Hannah was describing.
"Wow, so what happened? I mean how did you manage to calm down"
"My mum put the nipple of the bottle in my mouth, and I started to suck at it. Doing that sort of took my mind away from what I was actually freaking out about. I mean the reason I was actually freaking out so much was because it was the first time that I had accidentally wet myself twice in the same day. And then after I had calmed down, I wondered if my nappies were the problem. I mean the fact that I was wearing them when I didn't need them"
"So did you decide to stop wearing your nappies so much?"
"Not really. But then on Thursday I had an accident before I left for uni, then I ended up telling my friend Kendra about everything, and after I had finished telling her I noticed I was wet. That meant that I had wet twice in the same day for the second time in a week. Then of course yesterday I wet twice," said Hannah. She blushed as she remembered discovering her second accident.
"But yesterday it didn't seem so bad, because I managed to get the night out without wetting. I've only been able to manage that a couple of times before. All in all it means that I have had two accidents a day on three different days. In less than a week"
"So you are thinking that they are going to carry on getting more frequent?"
"Well, how frequent were your accidents four years ago?"
"Um...I had the first one, two weeks later I had the second. Then a week after that I had the third. Then my mum took me to the doctor. Then the fourth accident was about three days after the third. At that point I got some pull-ups and then pretty much since then my accidents were about every other day"
"And you have been in pull-ups for four years having accidents every other day. So it is not like the amount of accidents you have has increased a lot over a short time. It has taken four years"
"What has that got to do with anything?"
"Well, if anything is going to happen, then it is going to take a fair few years. I mean you could carry on having two accidents a day on occasional days for the next few years before they get more frequent again. If they actually get more frequent at all"
"I never really thought of it that way. I was just thinking that it was going to happen suddenly. Like within a couple of months. And that freaked me out"
"I think you have the right idea about telling your mum. And maybe she will be able to help you" said Marie.
"That's what I was thinking"
"She might want to take you to the doctor again"
"I hope not. It was a complete waste of time going the first time," Hannah said.
"Why, what happened?" said Marie. She had never heard what had happened when they had been younger, as at the time Hannah had been embarrassed and had never wanted to talk about anything to do with her wetting. Whenever something was said she had used to go red and refuse to talk about it with her friends. It was only in the last year or so that Hannah had began to talk to her friends, and specifically Marie about it.
"Well, I had the third accident," said Hannah. She remembered that she had never told Marie what had happened when she had wet herself for the third time.
"I never told you about what happened then did I?"
"No, but you don't have to if you don't want to"
"I don't mind. It was certainly less embarrassing than the first two. I mean it wasn't completely out of the blue like the first one, and it wasn't in front of you and other friends like the second one," said Hannah. She began to describe it to Marie.
After Hannah's second accident, she had begun going to the toilet more often. Even if she didn't actually think that she needed to pee, she would normally go and sit on the toilet every hour and a half. Most of the time she did not actually manage to do anything in the toilet. After a couple of days Jackie had noticed what Hannah was doing, and decided to speak to her. The next chance Jackie got, she told Hannah not to worry about having an accident, and that there was no point interrupting what she was doing to go and sit on the toilet. Hannah stopped going to the toilet so often. She changed it to every two hours. After the two days of going every hour and a half, and four days of going every two hours, Hannah's visits to the bathroom became less frequent. She had decided only to go if she actually needed to use the toilet. The next day she was in her bedroom when her sister had called her to come downstairs. Hannah came out of her room and went to the stairs. Louise was stood at the bottom. Hannah had started to walk down the stairs. When she was about halfway down, she had begun wetting herself. Of course, she did not notice, but Louise noticed straight away.
"Just stay where you are a second Han" she said. Louise thought that if Hannah were stood in the same place, then the wetness on the carpet would only be in one place, rather than having a trail down the stairs. Louise didn't want to tell Hannah what she was doing just in case Hannah freaked out again. It was too late really, as Hannah began to feel the wetness against her skin. By that time Hannah had finished wetting, so she turned round on the stairs and went to the bathroom. Louise called Jackie and told her what had happened, and then went upstairs to Hannah. She got some dry clothes for Hannah out of Hannah's wardrobe and also grabbed some wipes to clean Hannah up with. Then she went to the bathroom door.
"Han, it's me. Can you let me in?" she said knocking at the door.
"It's not locked so you can come in," said Hannah. Louise opened the door and saw Hannah sat on the side of the bath. Louise sat down next to here.
"Are you alright?" Louise asked. She was still holding the things in her arms.
"Yep. At least this time none of my friends were here to see it"
"I brought you some clothes to change into," Louise said handing them over. The wipes were on top of the trousers and knickers. Hannah stood up and put the toilet seat lid down so that she would have somewhere to put the clothes. Hannah then looked at Louise, trying to say that she wanted Louise to leave.
"Oh right yeah," said Louise eventually understanding what Hannah was trying to say. She got up and walked out of the bathroom. Hannah was glad that Louise had left, although she was not sure why. Louise had changed her nappy loads of times, even in a morning when Hannah was wet, so it was not like Hannah did not want Louise seeing her half naked. Hannah just knew that she wanted to be on her own whilst she changed. Hannah peeled off her wet clothes and then threw them onto the floor. She wondered what was going to happen, as that had been her third accident in three weeks. Hannah got out a wipe and cleaned herself up. She had to wipe down her legs as well, from where the pee had travelled down her legs to the floor. After Hannah had put on the dry clothes, she picked up her wet things and headed downstairs to put them in the washing machine. Louise was in the kitchen getting some things to clean the stairs up with. Hannah put her things in the washing machine, and set them to wash, then she went to help Louise to clean up the wet patch.
"So that was basically it" said Hannah finishing her explanation.
"No freaking out, and no crying in the bathroom. At that time Louise was the one who normally put me in my nappy for bed. The only time mum did it really was when Louise was out, or was too busy to do it. That evening, even though Louise was in and wasn't doing anything, my mum took me upstairs to get me ready for bed. And whilst she was putting me in my nappy, she told me that she thought it might be a good idea for me to go and see the doctor to see whether anything was wrong with me. I said that I would go. The main reason I said this was because I wanted to get it sorted out, preferably before I had another accident"
"So what happened at the doctors then?"
"Well, mum rang up the next morning and made an appointment for later that day. When we went she asked what the problem was. My mum was in the room, but I had to explain. It was so embarrassing to tell her that I had wet myself in the daytime, especially when she already knew that I was fourteen and wetting the bed. She asked some questions and did some stuff, then said that it was probably just related to the fact that dad had just died. She said that it would probably go away on it's own"
"Does she know that it is still going on?"
"Yeah. It was never added to my notes, but on one time when I went, I had to show her something on my leg. It was about halfway between my knee and the top of my leg so I couldn't get my trouser leg that high, so I had to pull them down. I did it without a second thought. She was really surprised when she saw what I was wearing. And then I had to explain everything to her, you know, about my mum buying me pull-ups so if I did have an accident then at least I was the only one that knew"
"What did she do?"
"She just got it added to my notes, and didn't really mention it. I was just relieved that I managed to stay dry. I mean can you imagine how embarrassing that would have been, if I had wet myself with my trousers round my knees, and my pull-up completely showing"
"I can see that it would have been fairly embarrassing if that had happened" said Marie, even though she had no experience of anything like that.
"Uh oh toilet!" said Hannah. She jumped of the bed, and ran out of the room. Marie watched her in surprise. Unfortunately for Hannah, the landing had no carpet, and was just wooden floorboards with a couple of rugs over the top. One of the rugs was right outside Marie's room. Hannah ran on to it, and was taken by surprise when it moved slightly along the floor. Hannah ended up falling backwards onto her butt.
From her room, Marie heard the noise of Hannah falling and went out to see if she was all right. She found Hannah sat on the floor.
"Are you ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, I just slipped when the rug moved because I was rushing," said Hannah. Marie helped Hannah to stand up again.
"Are you hurt or anything?"
"No. I fell onto my butt, so the pull-up provided some padding to impact the fall"
"Do you still need to go to the toilet?" Marie asked. She suspected that the answer would be no.
"I kind of already went," said Hannah looking down at her pull-up.
"I could feel myself doing it after I had slipped, but I couldn't stop it". They went into Marie's room and Hannah got out a pull-up and her wipes from her bag.
"I'll be back in a minute," she said leaving the room to go to the bathroom again. She was careful not to slip and managed to make it to the bathroom without anything else happening. Marie sat on her bed and waited for Hannah to come back. When Hannah came back into the room she sat back on the bed, next to Marie.
"So what were we talking about before all that happened?"
"Don't know. I can't remember," said Marie shrugging her shoulders.
"My mum and dad will probably be back from their friends house soon"
"Oh right. Well I will finish getting dressed when they get back," said Hannah referring to the fact that she wasn't wearing any trousers.
"What happened to your dummy?" Marie said, suddenly realising that she had not seen it since she had woken up and Hannah had it in her mouth.
"I don't know. I took it out of my mouth when you woke up so that I would be able to talk to you properly. And I had it in my hand, but I don't remember putting it anywhere". They both got off the bed, and lifted the duvet up. Marie was the one that found it. Hannah must have just left it where she had been laying when she got out of bed. Hannah picked it up, and then put it next to her bag so that she didn't forget to take it home.
"Can you imagine if I forgot about it, and left it here? I wonder what your mum would say if she would it"
"She would have been fairly confused," said Marie laughing at that image. Hannah laughed a little bit as well.
"So what do you want to do now then?" Marie asked.
"I don't know. Watch TV or something"
"Ok. We might as well go downstairs since there will be more channels" said Marie. They both went downstairs, with Hannah not wearing anything over her pull-up. They went into the lounge and sat down on the sofa. Marie switched on the TV and flicked through a few channels before finally settling on something.
After about fifteen minutes Hannah wanted a drink.
"I'm going to get a drink. Do you want anything?"
"No I'm ok" Marie said. Hannah went to the kitchen to get a drink. When she came back Marie had turned over the channel.
"What is this?" said Hannah. She had never seen it before. Marie began to quickly explain it whilst Hannah sat down and got comfortable again. Once Hannah knew what the programme was, she began to get into it, only asking Marie the occasional question when she didn't know a character or didn't understand something that someone had said. Half an hour later the programme finished and Marie began looking for something else to watch.
She eventually flipped it over to the music channels, and they sat there watching those for a while, turning over the channel every time a video that they didn't like came on. After they had been watching music videos for a while, Marie heard a car pulling up outside. She got up and looked out of the window to check who it was. It was Marie's parents Sylvia and Martin coming back home. The car was in the driveway and they were just getting out.
"Han, it's my parents" Marie said.
"Oh right ok" said Hannah completely forgetting that she was sat there in just her pull-up and top.
"Uh Han" Marie said gesturing to what Hannah was wearing.
"Oh shit," Hannah exclaimed. She stood up quickly, ran for the door. In order to get some trousers on, she had to go upstairs, which meant going into the hallway. The front door to the house opened up into the hallway as well.
"They are still outside. You can make it if you quick" Marie said peeking out of the window again.
"Thanks" said Hannah. She shot out of the room, and quickly got up the stairs. She was at the top of the stairs when the front door opened. Marie went out into the hallway to greet her parents and to distract them to give Hannah enough time to get dressed.
"Hi mum. Hi dad" she said, looking up the stairs quickly to check that Hannah had disappeared from sight.
"Hello Marie. Is Hannah still here?" Sylvia said.
"Yeah. She's just upstairs"
"So what time were you both up this morning?" said Sylvia with a smile on her face.
"I think it was about twelve or something," said Marie.
Upstairs Hannah had gone straight into Marie's room and shut the door behind her just in case Sylvia or Martin came upstairs. She grabbed her trousers and sat down on the bed to pull them on. Once they were on, Hannah made sure that her dummy was put away in her bag rather than just lying next to it. She then went back downstairs. Marie and Sylvia were still stood in the hallway, but Martin had gone into the kitchen to get a drink.
"Hello Hannah" Sylvia said when she saw Hannah coming down the stairs.
"Hi" said Hannah when she got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Have you two had something to eat?" asked Sylvia addressing both of them.
"Yeah mum, we had a bacon sandwich when we got up"
"Good, so you will probably be wanting something to eat later on"
"I don't know probably," Marie said.
"But I can make something since you have already eaten a proper meal". Sylvia turned to Hannah who was stood on the bottom step.
"Do you need to be back for any particular time?" she asked.
"Not really. Just tell me when you are sick of me and I will go," said Hannah smiling.
"You're welcome here for as long as you want," said Sylvia. She went to join Martin in the kitchen. Marie and Hannah looked at each other.
"Mum and dad will probably be wanting to watch the TV in the lounge now. So what do you want to do?"
"I don't know. Do you have any new DVD's?" asked Hannah. Marie had quite an extensive list of DVD's.
"Um...I'm not sure. What is the last one we watched?"
"I don't know" said Hannah. She thought about it for a minute.
"No wait, I do. It was last time you were home for the weekend and you stayed over at mine. We watched two of your old films, um...Heathers and Almost Famous"
"Oh yeah. Heathers was cool wasn't it"
"Yup. It was so funny. I'm glad that you bought it" Hannah said smiling as she thought of one of the funny parts of the film. They both went upstairs. Marie went to the toilet whilst Hannah went to look at Marie's DVD collection. When Marie had finished, she headed to her room.
"Hey Marie where are the rest of your DVD's?" Hannah asked when she noticed Marie standing next to her.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, I left some at uni over the holidays. And also I left my DVD player there as well. We can watch one on my laptop if you have found one that you want to watch though. Have you found one that you want to watch?"
"I can't decide between Mean Girls, Bring It On and 10 Things I Hate About You. I know that I have seen all three of them tons of times before, but I really fancy watching a high school comedy sort of film"
"They all sound good. Just choose whichever one you want whilst I get the laptop set up" Marie said. Hannah grabbed the three DVD cases of the shelf and sat on the bed whilst Marie switched on the laptop.
"Um Han, I was just thinking that this screen is smaller than a TV screen so it will be more difficult to see if it is on the desk and we are sat on my bed"
"Could you bring it and put it on the bed at the end, then we can sit leaning against the pillows or lie down to watch it?"
"Good idea" said Marie picking up the computer. Hannah stood up, so that Marie could put it on the bed. The wire that was plugging it into the electrical socket was stretched across the room. Hannah eventually managed to pick one of the DVD's. She handed it to Marie and then put the other two on the desk.
"Mean Girls. Good choice" said Marie. Hannah got on the bed and lay down on her stomach facing the laptop screen. Marie put the DVD into the laptop. It started to load up. Whilst it was loading up, she sat on the bed, leaning against the pillows. Once it had finished loading, Hannah pressed play as she was the nearest to the computer.
"Han can you just move the screen up a bit. I can't see it properly," said Marie.
"But if I move it up then I'm not going to be able to see it" Hannah pointed out.
"Why don't you just lie down like I'm doing, then we will both be in the same position so should be able to see the screen"
"Ok" said Marie. Hannah paused the film whilst Marie moved about. Once she was comfortable again, Hannah started the film again. She looked over at Marie quickly, and was taken off guard when she realised that Marie was looking at her at the same time. They smiled at each other, and then turned back to the screen just as the opening lines of the film were said.
About half way through the film both girls were getting uncomfortable with lying on their stomachs, so they paused the DVD so that they could change their positions. They both moved so that they were sitting on the bed with their heads against the pillows. Marie then lent forward to pull the laptop closer. She adjusted the screen and then pressed play.
They both stayed in pretty much the same positions for the rest of the film, so when it finished, Marie just lent forward again and took the DVD out of the laptop. She put it back in the box, then lent backwards again. Hannah looked at the clock on Marie's wall.
"Wow, it's already half four in the afternoon" she said when she realised the time.
"Man, how did it get so late? It still feels really early"
"Probably because we have only been up for like four hours, so it still feels like the morning"
"Ah, maybe that's it then" said Marie.
"I think I should probably be getting back home soon. My mum will probably be wondering what has happened to me"
"What time do you want to get home for?"
"I don't know. My mum normally makes a meal about half six sevenish. I should probably be back by then"
"Oh ok. Is all your stuff together?" Marie asked.
"Yep. I already checked that when I was up here before"
"So if we've got at least an hour and a half, what do you want to do?"
"I don't know. I could go and take my stuff home and check what time my mum is making something to eat for, and then we would know how long we had to do something. That is if you want to do something"
"Yeah I want to do something. If you weren't here then I would be just doing nothing. You know just getting bored and wishing I had something to do"
"If I wasn't here, then I would probably just be doing the same thing at home". They decided to go along with Hannah's plan and take Hannah's stuff back to her house before they decided if or what they wanted to do. Hannah grabbed her bag and they headed downstairs.
Before they left, Hannah dropped her bag in the hallway, and went into the lounge to say goodbye to Sylvia and Martin.
"I've just come in to say goodbye to you" she said once she was in the lounge.
"Oh are you leaving Hannah" Sylvia said.
"Oh ok" said Sylvia standing up. She walked over to Hannah and gave her a hug.
"Don't leave it so long next time. You can come round here even when Marie isn't here"
"I know, and after Christmas I might be able to," said Hannah smiling. Hannah and Marie then went back into the hallway, and then outside. Hannah unlocked her car, which was still parked outside Marie's house and they both got in. Marie turned on the C.D that was in the player, even though they were only going to be in the car for about five minutes.
"This has been a weird weekend" Marie suddenly commented. Hannah didn't know if she was just saying it because neither of them had said anything for a while, or because Marie genuinely thought that the weekend had been weird.
"What do you mean? Weird how?" Hannah eventually asked.
"Well, just telling each other stuff. I don't think we have ever shared that much stuff with each other at one time ever. Well, I mean it was kind of you sharing stuff about yourself"
"It is probably because we haven't spent that much time together in a while. I mean it was mid morning yesterday when you came round to mine, so we have been together for over a day". By this time they were at Hannah's house. Hannah pulled up in the driveway and then switched off the engine.
Surprisingly it did not look as if anyone were inside Hannah's house, which Hannah found strange. She turned and mentioned it to Marie.
"Maybe your mum is in a room at the back of the house or something" Marie replied when she had heard what Hannah said.
"Oh yeah probably" Hannah said. She opened her door and started to get out. Marie did the same thing at the other side of the car. Once Hannah was out of the car, she went to open the boot. She had put her bag in the boot, so needed to get it out. Marie waited at the front of the car whilst Hannah did this.
When Hannah had her bag, she walked up to the front door with Marie. The door was locked, so Hannah rang the doorbell. She was relieved when she heard footsteps and then saw the door been opened.
"Hi mum" she said when Jackie had opened the door.
"Hi sweetie. And hello Marie" Jackie said. She stood aside to let the two girls into the house. Hannah dropped her bag in the porch.
"Mum, what time are you making tea for?"
"I don't know, I mean what time did you have lunch?"
"We got to bed late last night, so woke up really late. So I got a bacon sandwich when we both got up" Hannah said, without revealing to her mum the actual time when she woke up. Marie stood watching the exchange.
"So what time was that then?" Jackie asked.
"Um...bout half twelve" said Hannah quietly.
"Half twelve" Jackie repeated in surprise.
"Ok. I am going to make tea for about sevenish. If you want, you can get something to eat now, if you are hungry"
"I am actually kind of hungry," Hannah said. That fact that she was hungry had suddenly occurred to her.
"Do you want something to eat Marie?"
"Yeah ok" said Marie. Jackie went into the lounge whilst Hannah and Marie went into the kitchen. Hannah opened up the fridge, and looked inside. Marie stood next to her.
"Nope, nothing in here" said Hannah. She headed to one of the cupboards and reached in to get out a packet of crisps.
"Do you want a packet of crisps as well?" she asked Marie. Marie nodded, and Hannah grabbed a packet for her as well.
"Do you want a drink? Because I'm kind of thirsty"
"Yeah, a drink sounds good". Hannah quickly made two drinks.
"We can go up to my room for a bit if you want. At least until we have finished the crisps and drink"
"Oh ok" said Marie. They both left the kitchen and headed upstairs. Hannah passed her drink to Marie in the hallway, so that she could take her bag upstairs. When they both got to Hannah's room, Hannah dropped her bag onto her bed and then sat down next to it. Marie followed suit by sitting down next to Hannah. She handed Hannah's drink back to Hannah who took a sip, then lent forward to put it on her desk. She then shuffled back on the bed, until she was leaning again the wall. Marie turned round and looked at her.
"Oh sorry" said Hannah. She had shaken the bed, as she had been moving around. Marie smiled.
"Actually I might just go to the toilet. I don't think I've been for a while," Hannah said. She shuffled around on the bed so that her feet could actually reach the ground. Once her feet were touching the carpet she stood up.
"I'll be back in a minute or so"
"Ok". Hannah walked out of her bedroom and into the bathroom across the landing. She went over to the toilet and undid her trousers so that she could pull them down. Hannah was pleased that she was still dry. She pulled down her pull-up and sat on the toilet and was able to pee unlike when she had sat on the toilet earlier that morning. After finishing and getting her pull-up back on, Hannah decided to go without trousers, at least until she knew whether she and Marie were going to be doing anything. She stepped out of her trousers and then bent down to pick them up. She walked out of the bathroom with the trousers over her arm at the same time that her mum was walking up the stairs.
"Hi mum" she said when she saw Jackie. Jackie looked at Hannah carrying her trousers.
"Did you leak onto your trousers?" Jackie asked.
"No. I didn't even have an accident. Well at least not just now. It's just I was talking to Marie last night and she asked me why I always covered up my pull-up or nappy when I was with her, but not with you or Louise and Allie. I said it was because I didn't want her to be uncomfortable with it. And she said that she wouldn't be uncomfortable with it. So it doesn't matter if I don't wear anything over them" Hannah explained.
"Oh ok. And are you comfortable with it?" Jackie asked. Hannah was about to reply that yes of course she was comfortable with it, but she paused to think about her answer.
"I don't know. Yeah I suppose so"
"Why do you suppose so? Are you not sure?"
"Well I don't know. I mean I am not normally in just a pull-up around you. Normally it is a nappy, and if I wet in the nappy it is not as noticeable, or if I have an accident, then I could just say that I did it on purpose if I wanted to. In the pull-up if I wet it, then it is an accident and it is obvious what I have done. And it is kind of embarrassing to have Marie see it as well. And last night when we were talking about it, I pulled off my trousers and kind of realised that my pull-up was wet at the same time that Marie realised it"
"Maybe it would be better if you were wearing a nappy then, rather than the pull-up"
"I don't know. I mean I don't know if me and Marie are going to be doing anything," said Hannah. She realised that she had left Marie alone for quite a while, so should probably get back to her.
"Well, if you change your mind about wanting to wear a nappy, and you want me to do it, then just come and tell me ok"
"Ok thanks mum" said Hannah. She couldn't believe that her mum was so accepting of Hannah wanting to wear nappies when she didn't really need to. Jackie went round Hannah and into her own room. Hannah went into her room. She immediately looked at Marie, to watch Marie's reaction. If Marie reacted funnily to Hannah suddenly been without trousers, then Hannah could always put them back on again. Fortunately for Hannah, Marie's expression did not even change. Hannah threw her trousers on the floor and went to sit back on the bed.
"So you are still dry then?" said Marie as Hannah sat down.
"Yep. So do you want to do something now?"
"I don't know. I can't really be bothered to do anything. Besides there is nothing really to do. Can we just hang around here or something?"
"Thank god you said it. I was dreading you saying that you wanted to do something. Because I really can't be bothered doing anything. I'm actually really tired"
"So do you just want to lounge out here for a while then?"
"Yeah. Do you want to stay for tea?"
"Ok so long as your mum doesn't mind"
"I'll go check with her" said Hannah.
"Oh wait. Before I go, um do you mind if I change into a nappy?"
"No. Are you going to get your mum to do it, or are you going to do it yourself?"
"I'll get mum to do it" Hannah said.
"It's easier that way"
"Oh ok. If I'm staying here, then I should probably ring home and let mum know that I'm not going to be home".
"You can use the phone downstairs if you want" Hannah said.
"Oh ok thanks". They both stood up and walked out of the room. Once they were downstairs, Hannah found her mum fairly quickly.
"Mum" she said.
"Is it alright if Marie stays for tea?"
"Yeah of course" Jackie said.
"Do you want to use the phone to let your mum know?" Jackie asked Marie.
"Yeah thank you" Marie said.
"Ok and can you um change me into a nappy?" Hannah asked her mum.
"Yep. Come on upstairs then" Jackie said. Marie stayed downstairs to give Hannah and Jackie some privacy, and also so that she could ring her house. When Hannah and Jackie were in Hannah's room, Hannah put the changing mat on the bed whilst Jackie got out the things she was going to need.
"How long have you been wearing this pull-up?"
"Um a couple of hours I think. Maybe longer"
"Well, why don't you just pull it down, because you might be able to wear it tomorrow since it isn't wet"
"Oh ok" said Hannah. She removed her pull-up and left it on the floor, then got onto the bed. Jackie wiped Hannah, then quickly got a nappy underneath her and powdered her. Hannah was quickly taped into the nappy.
"I'm all done," said Jackie standing up. She had previously been sat on the side of the bed.
"Thank you" said Hannah sitting up and looking down.
"Is it ok to come in?" they both heard from outside the door. Marie had finished on the phone, but did not want to barge into the room without checking that Hannah and Jackie had finished.
"Yeah. Come in" said Hannah. Marie opened the door and came into the room.
"Ok, I'll leave you girls to it" said Jackie walking towards the door.
"Just come and let me know if you need changing".
"Ok" said Hannah as Jackie left the room. Marie moved aside to let Jackie past, and then went to sit on the bed. Hannah stood up and moved the changing mat and other things then sat back down again. Marie couldn't help but look at Hannah's nappy the whole time that Hannah was moving around. She just wasn't used to seeing Hannah in a nappy in the middle of the day.
"Do you mind if I quickly check my email? Its just I haven't been on since Friday night I think" Hannah said.
"I know it's probably really rude to have you here, but just leave you on your own"
"You're hardly leaving me on my own are you. The computer is just over there," said Marie gesturing to desk where the computer was.
"Can I check my email as well once you are done?"
"Yep" said Hannah. She stood up, went over to the computer and switched it on. Hannah sat down on the desk chair, and then turned it round so that she was facing Marie whilst the computer loaded up. As Hannah turned round suddenly, she noticed Marie quickly move her head.
"Are you ok?" Hannah asked. She had not really noticed that Marie was looking at her nappy, but knew that she was acting differently.
"Yeah, I'm fine" Marie said almost too quickly.
"Really, because you seem a little distracted. As if something is on your mind"
"Nope" said Marie. She didn't really want to tell Hannah that it was the fact that Hannah seemed to enjoy been in just her nappy that was distracting her. After her experience, Marie couldn't really understand why someone would actually enjoy wearing a nappy when they did not actually have to. Hannah turned back round to the computer and pressed the button to load up the Internet. Hannah was quickly opening her email inbox to check her emails. She had four new ones. Two were junk, which she quickly deleted. Another was an email from one of her online friends. Hannah quickly opened it, and seeing that it was fairly long, she closed it again, deciding to reply when she had more time. The fourth was a message from Daily Diapers, saying that she had a personal message. The email also said who the personal message was from, and Hannah immediately realised that it was Kendra's screen name. Hannah wondered why Kendra would have sent her a personal message through the site when she had Hannah's email address and phone number. Hannah was intrigued, but was reluctant to check the message with Marie sat behind her, as she did not want freak Marie out by having her see the site.
"Have you got any emails?" Marie asked. Hannah was taken by surprise as she had just been debating in her head whether or not to look at the personal message.
"Um, a couple of junk, and one from one of my online friends that I will reply to later. That's it really," Hannah said, quickly flicking the screen back to her inbox instead of it been on the email from Daily Diapers.
"Do you want to check your emails now then?" Hannah said. She quickly signed out, and then stood up to allow Marie to sit down. Marie got off the bed, and the two girls switched places. Marie quickly signed in to view her emails, whilst Hannah lay down on her bed.
"You got anything interesting?" Hannah asked as her thumb found its way into her mouth.
"Not really. Just one from one of my friends from uni. I'll read it later" said Marie. She signed out.
"Do you want me to switch the computer off?"
"Yeah you might as well," said Hannah taking her thumb out of her mouth. Marie turned the computer off, then spun round in the chair to see Hannah lying on her bed with her thumb in her mouth, and eyes half closed.
"Are you tired or something?" Marie asked.
"Yeah I'm completely knackered. I'm glad that I'm already wearing a nappy because I feel as if I am going to fall asleep"
"Do you want me to go so that you can get some sleep?" asked Marie. The computer had switched itself off, so Marie got up and went to sit on the end of the bed.
"No of course not. I like having you here. Besides you are supposed to be staying for something to eat. If I start to fall asleep, then you have my permission to wake me up" Hannah said.
Hannah sat up slightly so that she was less likely to fall asleep. It also gave Marie some more room to sit on the bed.
"If you fall asleep then I will just leave you. I'm not going to wake you up," said Marie.
"I'll just let you sleep". Hannah loudly yawned, then blinked a couple of times.
"Are you not tired? Because we both had the same amount of sleep last night I should think"
"No. I guess I need less sleep than you or something," Marie said.
"Its all that going out with your uni mates for the last three months" Hannah said smiling. She had heard many times about the drunken nights out Marie had enjoyed with her friends.
"You have gotten used to having less sleep"
"I don't go out that much" Marie said.
"Do I?" she said thinking aloud.
"Probably not compared to other uni students, but it seems a lot compared to me because don't seem to go out a lot with my friends from uni"
"You should go out more with your friends from uni. I mean the social side of things is part of what is cool about uni"
"I would have done, but it has always been difficult to arrange, since I don't exactly live near, and was reluctant to stay over at any with any of my friends because they would find out about you know" said Hannah indicating her nappy.
"But now Kendra knows, then I can stay over at hers"
"So you will be going out more after Christmas then?"
"I don't know. I hope so," said Hannah. She yawned again then stretched her arms out.
"Kendra and some of my other friends are always going on about the places that they go to. It would be cool to actually go, even if it was just once"
"I'm sure that you will Han. As long as Kendra is happy to let you stay over. And maybe next year you could live over there. Get a house with Kendra and a few friends or something"
"I don't know. I mean it is ok having Kendra knowing about it, but I don't really want anyone else knowing. And it would be difficult to live in a house with someone for a year without them finding out. Also, I would hardly ever get to wear them in the daytime as well"
"I guess so"
"Have you decided where you will be living next year? I mean like will you be living in a house or staying in halls?"
"Definitely a house. And I will either move in with my flatmates from this year. Although I am not actually sure about that. A couple of them have a tendency to leave their pots stacked next to the sink for a couple of weeks before they get round to washing them"
"A couple of weeks?"
"Yep. The pots tend to get kind of gross by the end of the two weeks. And I mean in halls it isn't so bad because at least we have a cleaner who can clean around the pile. In a house we will have to do it ourselves"
"So if you don't move in with your flatmates then who would you live with? Your friends from your course?"
"Yeah maybe. I don't know, I haven't really talked about it with them" said Marie. She looked away.
"Oh ok" Hannah said. She again noticed that Marie was distracted.
"Marie, seriously what are you so distracted over?"
"Nothing" said Marie suddenly moving her head so that she was looking at Hannah.
"Come on. Something is up with you. Don't try and pretend that nothing is wrong"
"I'm not," Marie protested.
"Can we talk about something else?"
"Yeah. I'm not going to push it, if you obviously don't want to talk about it" said Hannah. She moved slightly on the bed, her nappy crinkling as she did so. Marie stood up.
"Toilet" she said to explain, as she walked out of the room. Hannah got off the bed, and grabbed her drink. She took a few sips of it, then put the glass on her desk. Hannah quickly adjusted her nappy before she sat back on the bed.
In the bathroom, Marie was splashing water on her face. She had not actually needed to go to the toilet, but she had just wanted to get out of Hannah's room. Marie was afraid that if she actually confessed that what was wrong with her was that she thought it was weird to be wearing a nappy in the middle of the day, then she would end up hurting Hannah, which she did not want to end up doing. She had also come very close to revealing something about herself that she was not sure that she wanted Hannah to know. After splashing water on her face, Marie flushed the toilet, and walked out of the bathroom. She took a deep breath and then opened the door to Hannah's room. Hannah was sat on her bed leaning against the wall, her knees drawn up underneath her chin, which of course gave Marie a perfect view of Hannah's nappy.
Marie coughed, to inform Hannah that she was back. Hannah looked up.
"Oh hi" Hannah said. Marie walked over to sit on the bed. As she got closer she was relieved to see that Hannah's nappy still looked dry. Marie was dreading the time when Hannah actually wet it on purpose, as she didn't know how she would react. As Marie sat down she remembered something that Hannah had said to her earlier. That Hannah had pooped her nappy when she had been at Louise's flat earlier in the week. As Marie sat on the edge of Hannah's bed, she wondered if Hannah regularly pooped her nappies or if that was a one-time thing. This got Marie thinking that if Hannah did it all the time, would she do it with Marie there. The thought of Hannah purposely wetting her nappy was freaking Marie out enough without thinking that Hannah might purposely poop in it as well.
"So what do you think?" Marie suddenly heard Hannah say. Marie turned round.
"So?" Hannah asked again. Marie had been so lost in thought that she had no idea what Hannah was asking about.
"What do I think about what?" Marie said.
"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Hannah said looking at Marie.
"No sorry. I was completely lost in thought. What were you talking about?"
"Well, I said that I don't have anything at uni until tomorrow afternoon, so I was asking if you wanted to stay over tonight. You can borrow my clothes if you want or we can go back to yours and get you some clothes. That is if you actually want to stay over"
"Um...yeah staying over sounds cool. Borrowing your clothes is probably easier, since you are well, you know" said Marie. What she meant was that since Hannah was in a nappy, she probably did not want to go out again, but Marie was reluctant to use the word nappy.
"Oh yeah" said Hannah realising what Marie meant.
"You know, you can actually say the word nappy if you want. You aren't going to be embarrassing me by mentioning it".
"Ok" said Marie non-committal. It wasn't Hannah that she was worried about embarrassing.
"So what do you want to do until tea is ready?"
"Don't know. TV I guess. Unless there is something you want to tell me" Hannah said referring to the reason why Marie had been distracted earlier.
"No. So what's on TV?" Marie asked. She knew exactly what Hannah was referring to. Hannah got off the bed and went over to her TV. She switched it on and then grabbed the remote before sitting back down again.
"What do you want to watch?" said Hannah. She pressed teletext and then brought up a list of what was on the channels at that moment. There was an omnibus of Eastenders on one channel, some random science programme on the second, an old film on the third and horse racing on the fourth.
"Might as well watch Eastenders. There's nothing else on," Marie said. Hannah quickly turned it over.
"Have you seen it this week?"
"I think I saw it on Monday. That was it. You?"
"No. I haven't seen it all week I think". They both shifted around, trying to get comfortable on the bed. Hannah had a day bed, meaning that it had bars on three sides. Hannah handed Marie a pillow so that she could lean back against the side of the bed that was against the wall. Once both girls were comfortable, they both focused on the television. Marie did not particularly want to talk, and Hannah was trying to figure out why Marie was been so weird. They had started watched Eastenders when it was over half way through, so it was only three quarters of an hour before it finished. After it had finished, Hannah switched on the listings again, and on seeing that there was nothing much on, she turned off the TV.
"So there's nothing on then," Marie pointed out.
"Nope" said Hannah messing about with the remote control.
"And we still have a while before tea is going to be ready"
"So..." Marie said to fill up the silence.
"I can't believe that we have nothing to talk about" Hannah said. She dropped the remote control onto her bed and then picked it up again.
"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Marie said.
"No. Go ahead. What is it?"
"Well, when did you realise that you liked nappies and when did you realise that you liked to be babied?"
"Um...the liking nappies thing. I'm not too sure. I know that when I was nine and mum tried some method to get me to stop wetting the bed, I was really reluctant to go back into nappies when it wasn't working, but then the next time she tried something, I think I was about ten. My mum had been trying to get me to stop wetting the bed by taking me out of nappies and waking me up a couple of times in the night. But it wasn't really working as I was just wetting in between going to the toilet. And also, I was tired, and so were mum and dad. So we talked about it and decided that I would go back to wearing nappies. That first night back in nappies I sort of realised that I liked the security it offered, and I knew that when I woke up in the morning my sheets weren't going to be wet. I think I have liked wearing them since then"
"So what about the babying thing?"
"Well, I have always been babied to a certain extent because I am the youngest. Anyway Louise noticed that I sucked my thumb, so she got me a dummy that I used whenever she changed me. And she would really baby me whilst she was changing me. I kind of realised that I liked it. I don't really know when that was though"
"Oh. Why did you never tell me before?"
"Because I didn't know how you react. I didn't want you to think I was weird. Especially after you found out that I wore nappies during the day" said Hannah. She switched on the TV again even though she knew that there probably was not going to be anything different on. Once Hannah had confirmed this, she flicked the TV off again.
"So when you wear your nappies during the day, I mean like now, do you um use them for everything?" Marie managed to say. She was not sure that she actually wanted to hear the answer, but figured that it might be better to be prepared just in case Hannah was planning to poop her nappy with Marie there.
"Um...well yeah" Hannah admitted.
"That was the deal that my mum came up with"
"Yeah. She knew that I wanted to start wearing them in the day, but she was kinda reluctant to let me. So she said that I could only do it if I did everything in them. I said that I would try it. It was kind of weird at first, and I think mum expected me to forget the idea of wearing them in the day. But then I well, got used to it I guess. When it became clear that having to poop my nappy wasn't really a deterrent, she said that I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to. Sometimes I will go to the toilet, but um...most of the time I just go in my nappy and then get changed" Hannah explained. She watched Marie's face throughout her entire speech, looking for a reaction. Hannah wondered if Marie would be disgusted by it.
"So you don't have to do it, but you do it anyway?" said Marie trying to process that information.
"Why, do you like it or something?" Marie hesitantly asked.
"I don't know. I mean it is easier just to go in the nappy than try and get the nappy down without wrecking it" said Hannah not wanting to admit that she did actually kind of like it.
"Oh ok" said Marie. She was glad that Hannah had not said that she actually liked to poop her nappies.
"I might go and get another drink," said Hannah. She did not really want another drink. In fact she still had some of her old one left. Hannah just wanted to leave the room before there was another uncomfortable silence. She grabbed her glass and drained the last of it.
"I'll be back in a couple of minutes"
"Oh ok" said Marie. Hannah walked out of the room with her glass.
When she got downstairs Jackie was in the kitchen.
"Hello Han" Jackie said turning round. Jackie immediately glanced down to Hannah's nappy and smiled when she noticed that it still appeared to be dry. Hannah saw her doing this, so waited until Jackie was finished, before she said hello.
"Hello mum. Marie is gonna stay over tonight. At least I think she is going to anyway"
"What do you mean you think she's going to?"
"Well, I asked her and she said that she would, but she has been really distracted so I'm kind of thinking that she might change her mind"
"Ok. Where is Marie now?"
"Upstairs. I said I was coming down to get a drink," Hannah said. She put her glass on the counter and grabbed the orange squash. Hannah concentrated on pouring the squash into the glass, so that she could avoid looking at her mum. She did not want Jackie asking her any questions about whether something had happened between her and Marie, simply because Hannah was not really sure if anything had happened.
"How come she is distracted?" Jackie finally said.
"Um, I don't know. She wouldn't say," said Hannah. She filled her glass with water, and then took a sip.
"Maybe she has something on her mind"
"Yeah probably" Hannah said.
"Ok. I will call you down when tea is ready"
"Ok thanks mum" Hannah said. She walked out of the kitchen and headed back up the stairs.
She slowly walked towards her door, and pushed it open. Marie was still sat in exactly the same position on the bed.
"Oh, I just realised that I never asked if you wanted a drink as well" Hannah said. Marie looked up at Hannah.
"No, I didn't want one" Marie said. Hannah went to sit on her bed, after putting the drink on her desk.
"Are you still sure about staying over tonight?" Hannah asked, wanting to check.
"Yeah, why would I have changed my mind?" Marie said. Her expression was one of confusion.
"I don't know. Because you have seemed distracted by something, which you won't tell me"
"I'm still gonna stay over. I will put the thing that was distracting me to the back of my mind ok," Marie said. Although the thought of Hannah purposely using her nappy was still on Marie's mind, she sort of felt a little better about it. This was because she figured that if Hannah needed to poop then she would probably go to the toilet because Marie was there. After she had thought about that, Marie realised that Hannah was still going to be purposely wetting herself.
"Good" Hannah said. She moved about on the bed again trying to get comfortable.
"What on earth are you doing?" Marie asked looking at Hannah as she moved around.
"Just trying to get comfortable," Hannah said. She finally managed to find a comfortable position to sit in. When she was finally sitting still, Marie stood up and went over to where she had left her bag. She pulled out her mobile, and checked to see whether she had any messages.
"Have you got any messages?"
"Yeah. From one of my friends at uni. Wanting to know if I'm having fun been back at home" said Marie with a smile on her face.
"Oh shit," Hannah exclaimed suddenly.
"What?" said Marie turning round.
"Well, you know when we were out last night, and there was that whole thing with Donna"
"Well, don't you remember I said that I would text her. And I haven't" Hannah said.
"Just do it now. But she might have forgotten what you said, then you texting her will remind her that you agreed to go out with her some time this week"
"I will text her asking if she managed to get back home last night ok. That way if she has forgotten about it, then I won't be reminding her, will I"
"Nope. Go for it then" said Marie. She started texting a response to her message whilst Hannah grabbed her phone and started to type a message to Donna. Whilst both girls were using their phones, they walked back over to the bed and sat down. Hannah was finished first, so she put her phone beside her on the bed, and lent back. She had been needing to pee for a bit, but was slightly nervous about doing it in front of Marie. Whilst Marie was occupied texting on her phone, Hannah relaxed her bladder and then felt the padding of the nappy become wet and warm. Hannah looked over at Marie when she had finished and was pleased to see that Marie was still looking at her phone. Hannah quickly grabbed a big tigger teddy that she had on her bed, and held it in her lap to cover up her wet nappy. Marie finally finished with her phone, so she put it next to her on the bed and looked over at Hannah. She was surprised to see Hannah cradling the tigger in her lap. Hannah noticed where Marie was looking, and figured that she might as well explain it since Hannah was going to have to stand up eventually revealing the wet nappy.
"I um, wet the nappy. The tigger is to cover it up," she quickly explained.
"Oh ok. Did you have an accident or do it on purpose?"
"Uh, on purpose" said Hannah watching Marie's face carefully for any sign of a reaction to that information.
"Oh" said Marie, been careful to keep her expression the same. Inside however, she felt almost disgusted. 'Hannah just deliberately went to the toilet on herself' Marie thought. Marie had been around many times before when Hannah had had an accident, and had obviously slept in the same bed as Hannah with Hannah wetting in the night. All of those times Marie had managed not to feel remotely disgusted, but Marie felt very different because she knew that Hannah had done it on purpose. Marie was reminded of her night, and peeing in the nappy that Hannah had given her.
"Are you alright?" Hannah asked when Marie had not said anything for a while.
"What? Oh yeah I'm fine" Marie said. She still had absolutely no wish to tell Hannah what she was feeling, as she did not want to deliberately hurt her feelings in that way.
"Yeah ok" said Hannah not believing her at all.
"I'm getting the idea that you don't believe me," Marie said.
"Well, there is definitely something up with you today. And I thought you were going to put it to the back of your mind" Hannah said remembering what Marie had said only a few minutes before.
"Wait, unless something has just brought it back to your attention again" said Hannah.
"Is it my nappy? Do you have some sort of problem with it? Because you know, thinking about it, you didn't start acting distracted until I had my nappy on"
"God no. It's nothing to do with that," Marie denied immediately.
"Oh, good" said Hannah.
"So what is it then?"
"Well, I wasn't sure that I was going to tell you this, but I guess I'm going to have to. You see I have been kind of keeping something from you for a while. I was sort of afraid of your reaction," said Marie. She decided that it was going to be easier to tell Hannah the thing that she had almost revealed to her earlier. Plus, it meant that Marie would not have to hide it any longer.
"What is it Marie?" Hannah asked. She was actually really concerned that something might be wrong with Marie.
"Right, well I kind of realised something about myself when I was away at uni" Marie said. Hannah leaned in closer to Marie to show that she was listening.
"Well" said Marie. She breathed out heavily.
"Um, alright ok," said Marie stalling for time. She did not actually think that Hannah would have a bad reaction to what she was going to say, but this was going to be the first time that she had actually told someone who she did not know from university. Hannah nodded as Marie stalled. Marie turned away from Hannah. She thought that it might be easier to tell Hannah, if she did not actually have to look her in the face.
"Ok, well when I got to uni I kind really hit it off with one of my flatmates. Her name is Jo. And well, she sort of told me that she was bisexual, but was really shy about it. Anyway the uni has an LGBT group. You know lesbian, gay, bi, and transgender group. Jo wanted to go along, but was really nervous. I was the only person that she had told, and to be honest the group sort of intrigued me. So I said I would go along for moral support. I went and really enjoyed it, and got chatting to some other people. And sort of over the course of the next couple of weeks, some stuff I had been feeling kind of fell into place" Marie said, pausing briefly.
"What do you mean? What had you been feeling and how did it fall into place?"
"Well, I know I never told you this, but well, um..." said Marie.
"I uh. Well when we were in school, I was sometimes attracted to girls". Hannah was surprised; she had thought that Marie would have told her something that big. Now Hannah could pretty much guess what Marie was going to say.
"Why did you never say anything to me?" Hannah asked.
"I didn't know if it was normal. I mean for all I knew, everyone felt like that but just didn't say anything. And also to be honest it kind of confused me. I ended up talking to Jo about it after a few weeks of term. She was so good and I'm glad that I had her to turn to. She could relate to some of the stuff that I was feeling. She sort of told me that things would work themselves out and that I shouldn't worry too much over them. So I carried on going to the LGBT group, and if anyone asked I would say that I was bi-curious. There was another girl at the group called Leah. And one week, I think it was about five or six weeks into the term, the group all went to a gay club. I got fairly drunk and ended up making out with Leah. I was too drunk to realise it at the time, but that was almost like the turning point. I talked to Jo again, and told her that I was fairly sure that I was actually bi. Then I actually ended up going out with Leah for a couple of weeks. We split up because I was still really going through the whole accepting been bi thing and was not ready to actually date other girls. We are still really good friends" said Marie. She turned round again to look at Hannah.
"Wow" said Hannah, not sure what else to say. She was still trying to absorb all the information that she had just received.
"So what do you think?" Marie said. She needed Hannah to say that she was okay with it, and that it would not affect their friendship.
"Just wow" said Hannah. She still had no idea how to respond.
"'Wow', that's all you have to say? I mean, it's not going to affect our friendship is it?" Marie said. She was getting rather worried.
"No. Of course it won't" said Hannah. She put the tigger teddy to one side, and then moved slightly on the bed. This allowed her to reach over to Marie. Hannah hugged Marie tightly.
"How could you think that?"
"I don't know," said Marie still holding onto Hannah.
"Just because you weren't saying anything"
"We are still friends Marie. How come you didn't tell me sooner?" said Hannah. They both pulled away from the hug at the same time.
"I don't know. I didn't have anything to tell you for a while at least. I mean, besides the fact that I was going to the LGBT group with my flatmate Jo. And then when I sort of realised I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell someone else outside of that group, and I would have wanted to tell you in person anyway. And now I have" Marie finished.
"I almost told you earlier without meaning to" Marie admitted.
"When?" Hannah asked.
"When we were talking about houses for next year. I said that I probably wouldn't move in with all of my flatmates. And then you asked if I would move in with my friends from my course. I almost said that I was thinking about moving in with my friends from the LGBT group"
"Are you really? So you a good friends with them obviously?"
"Yeah, well at the last meeting I ended up talking to Jo, Leah and another girl who we are friends with, Phoebe. We sort of talked about all finding a house together next year"
"So you would be living with the girl you went out with for a couple of weeks?"
"Yeah, but I mean its not like we did anything when we were going out. Making out was as far as we got. And now she is probably the person I am second closest to. Jo is the person I am closest to" Marie said. As Marie said this, Hannah was suddenly aware of a feeling of warmth. She was in the middle of having an accident. Hannah looked down, then decided to concentrate on the conversation.
"So when do you need to start looking?" she asked hoping that Marie would not notice what had just happened.
"A few weeks after we get back I think. That way we will be more available. We will need a four bedroomed one and there are loads available for students, but some are not really nice, so we don't want to end up with one of those" Marie said. She had noticed Hannah looking down at her nappy, but did not want to ask Hannah about it.
"Am I ever going to get a chance to meet your friends from uni?" Hannah asked. She looked down again quickly and knew that she needed a change.
"I don't know. It would be cool if you could come and stay with me for a weekend or something. That way you would get to meet Jo and everyone, and we could take you out or something"
"Yeah. That would be cool"
"Talking of meeting friends, am I going to get to meet your friends from uni?"
"I don't know. Its more difficult to arrange really since I travel in, rather than live there. If you aren't doing anything one day next week you could come. I don't know what you would do when I was in lectures and seminars and stuff," Hannah said, trying to think of something.
"I mean you could sit in on lectures no problem. I mean it would probably be really boring for you, but you could do it. Although you wouldn't be able to sit in on a seminar. I don't know. We can try and figure something out," said Hannah. She out her hands by her side on the bed then used them to lift her butt off the bed slightly.
"Do you want me to get your mum, Han?" Marie asked. It was fairly obvious to her by that point that Hannah needed changing.
"Um...yeah thanks" Hannah said. Marie got up and went to fetch Jackie, whilst Hannah got everything that her mum was going to need.
By the time Hannah had got out everything that Jackie was going to need, Marie was headed back up the stairs with Jackie in tow. Marie stayed outside to give Hannah some privacy, whilst Jackie went into Hannah's room. Hannah was stood next to her bed. The changing mat was already laid out on the bed.
"Get on the bed then, and I will change you" said Jackie. Hannah got up on her bed and Jackie began to change her wet nappy. Whilst Hannah was been changed she decided to tell her mum about her accidents becoming more frequent.
"Mum" she said softly.
"Yes sweetie" Jackie said.
"I have to tell you sometime"
"What is it?"
"Well, you remember when we were at Louise and Allie's on Tuesday. And I completely freaked out because I had two accidents in the same day"
"Well, it has happened a few more times since then"
"What has happened a few more times? You freaking out or having two accidents in the same day?" Jackie asked.
"Me having two accidents in the same day. Well, the first time was Tuesday obviously. Then it happened on Thursday as well. And on Saturday. And today" Hannah said.
"It's really worrying me" she continued with a slight quiver in her voice. By this point, Jackie had already removed the wet nappy and wiped Hannah. She left Hannah on the bed whilst she threw the nappy into the nappy pail.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner honey?" Jackie said.
"Well, because it didn't seem so important on Thursday and then I haven't seen you since Saturday morning" Hannah replied. Her legs were lifted of the bed and a fresh nappy was placed underneath her.
"Maybe it would be best if you went to see the doctor about it. Just to check that it isn't the start of something more serious"
"But mum..." Hannah started to say. She knew that it would be embarrassing to go to see the doctor to say that her accidents were getting worse.
"I will ring up in the morning and I should be able to get you an appointment for sometime before you have to go to university" Jackie said, not giving Hannah a chance to back out of it.
"I will have to go to work, but I want you to ring me as soon as you get out to let me know what the doctor said ok. If you want someone to go with you, so that you aren't on your own, then maybe Marie might go with you" she finished. Jackie had carried on getting Hannah into her nappy throughout her little speech, so by the time she had finished talking, Hannah was taped into her fresh nappy. Hannah sat up on the bed.
"But it will be really embarrassing having to tell the doctor all that stuff" Hannah was finally able to say.
"She is a doctor, I'm sure that she will have other patients with similar problems to you. And besides she will be able to tell you if anything is wrong with you. And that means that you can find out whether you actually need to be worrying about something or not. If there is something to worry about then we can start doing something about it. And if it is nothing, then you will be able to stop worrying about it. Right?" Jackie said.
"I don't know. I guess you are right"
"Ok, well I will ring up when the surgery opens and get you an appointment. Then I will wake you up and let you know what time it is" Jackie said. She got up off the bed.
"Tea will be ready in a bit. I will call you down ok" she said as she walked out of the door. Once Jackie had gone, Marie came into the room. Hannah was just getting off the bed. Although Jackie had put away the wipes and powder, she had left Hannah sitting on the changing mat. Hannah quickly picked it up and put it away.
"How come you took so long?" Marie asked.
"Well, I told my mum about having more accidents. She is going to make me an appointment at the doctors tomorrow. So I guess I can drop you back home on the way. I mean depending on what time it is"
"Will you be going on your own then?" Marie asked.
"Well, I kind of have to. Mum is going to be at work," Hannah said. She knew that her mum had suggested taking Marie, but Hannah was reluctant to mention that idea to Marie.
"What about me?" Marie asked, "I could just sit in the waiting room and be there when you get out from seeing the doctor," she added. Hannah was pleased that Marie had said that, as she kind of wanted someone to go with her, but she didn't really want Marie to go in to the doctor's room with her. It was going to be embarrassing enough having to explain it to her doctor without Marie listening as well.
"Really. Yeah that would be cool. I kinda didn't want to ask you in case you said no"
"I'm your best friend Han. This is what best friends are supposed to do. You know, support their friend and be there when she needs it" Marie said.
"Wow, thanks" said Hannah.
"Its good to know I can count on you then". She settled back down on the bed.
"So what are your friends from uni like then. Jo and Leah, and what was the other one called" said Hannah. She wanted to get back to a normal conversation and move on from the topic of accidents and doctors.
"Yeah Phoebe. So what are they like?"
"What do you want to know?"
"I don't know. What do they look like for a start?"
"Well Leah has really long hair. It is like a dirty blonde colour. She has brown eyes. She's about the same height as you I think," said Marie looking at Hannah as if to compare her height to Leah's. Hannah was about 5'5 whereas Marie was a little taller at 5'8"
"So what about Jo and Phoebe?" Hannah asked.
"Well, Phoebe. You know Michelle Williams. Jen in Dawson's Creek. She is always getting told that she looks like her. And Jo, she is about 5'2 I think. Her hair is like a dark reddish colour, but she does dye it sometimes" said Marie. She was about to carry on talking when they both heard Jackie shouting them both downstairs. The meal was ready. They both stood up to go downstairs. Marie was first out of the room, as Hannah paused briefly to look down and check her nappy. She did not expect it to be wet, but wanted to make sure before going downstairs.
Once both girls were downstairs, they went into the kitchen. Jackie was just serving up the food.
"Oh, Marie I'm glad you are here. Now what vegetables do you eat? I've made carrots, peas and cauliflower"
"I like cauliflower and peas, but not carrots" Marie replied. Hannah got out three glasses to make drinks for them all. All three of them were soon sat at the table, their plates of food in front of them.
The meal was a fairly quiet affair. No one had much to talk about. Hannah would have asked her mum how it had gone with Simon, the guy she had met from the internet the previous day, but wanted to wait until Marie wasn't there so they would be have time to talk about it properly. Jackie asked Marie how she was getting on at university. Marie said that she liked her course and had made some friends; although she avoided saying that she had made friends at the LGBT group. She had not told her parents about that as yet, so did not want to tell anyone else. When everyone had finished eating, Hannah cleared away the plates, and asked whether anyone wanted dessert.
"Actually Han, I bought a chocolate pudding. It just goes in the microwave. It's in the fridge," Jackie said.
"Oh ok" said Hannah. She it out of the fridge, quickly read the instructions then put it in the microwave. Whilst it was in the microwave, Hannah got out bowls and spoons for everyone. She put them on the table.
Once the chocolate pudding had finished in the microwave, Hannah got it out, and brought it over to the table so that Jackie could share it out between the three of them. She shared it out between the three bowls, then passed one each over to Marie and Hannah.
As they were eating, the conversation picked up slightly, and Jackie asked Marie if she had any plans for over the Christmas holidays.
"Well, my friend Jo might come over for a couple of days or something. But nothing is really sorted yet" Marie said.
"That will be nice for you" Jackie said. Meanwhile Hannah was enjoying her chocolate pudding. She licked the spoon before putting it back down to the bowl, and managed to get a little dab of chocolate sauce on her nose. Hannah didn't noticed however and carried on eating. Jackie looked over at Hannah and smiled. Marie then looked over at Hannah and smiled at the site of her with a spoon in her mouth and chocolate sauce on her nose. Hannah realised that both of them were staring at her, and withdrew the spoon from her mouth.
"What?" she asked.
"Sweetie, you have chocolate sauce on your nose" Jackie said pointing to Hannah's nose.
"Oh" said Hannah, feeling quite embarrassed. She used her finger to wipe off the sauce, and then stuck the finger in her mouth.
"Did I get it all?" she asked.
"Yeah" Marie said. They all went back to eating their own dessert. When everyone had finished, Hannah again cleared the table.
"Mum, is it alright if I do the washing up tomorrow or something?" she asked.
"Since you have Marie here, I guess its ok" Jackie said.
"I'm going to go to my room and ring Simon ok. If you need another change then you can either come and get me or ask Marie if she will help you," Jackie said. She did not expect that Hannah would need changing since her nappy had remained dry throughout the meal. Jackie went upstairs, whilst Hannah and Marie went into the lounge. Hannah grabbed the TV remote as she sat down on the sofa.
"Do you mind just watching TV?" Hannah asked, suddenly wondering whether Marie was getting bored since they had not really done anything.
"No. Watching TV is cool. That's all I would be doing if I were at home". They watched TV for about half an hour, then Hannah remembered that she was supposed to have researched something for her class the next day. She thought about it and realised that she had a number of options. The first was to leave Marie sitting downstairs whilst she went on the Internet. The second was to take mare upstairs and keep Marie entertained whilst she did her work. The third was to go into university early and do it tomorrow. Hannah immediately dismissed the third idea on the basis that she did not know what time her doctors appointment was, so might not have time to go in early. She decided to ask Marie whether she wanted to go upstairs or stay watching TV.
"I just remembered that I have to look something up on the Internet for tomorrow. So do you wanna stay watching TV whilst I do it, or come upstairs with me. I mean I will only be about twenty minutes or so"
"I will stay sat down here then. I mean that way you won't be distracted so you will be able to get your work done faster" Marie said.
"Ok. Well I will be upstairs if you need me for anything" Hannah said. She handed the TV control over to Marie then headed upstairs. On the way up the stairs, she paused briefly so that she could start wetting her nappy. As she carried on wetting, she walked up the rest of the stairs. By the time Hannah got into her room, she had finished peeing. She switched on her computer and sat down at the desk.
Once it had loaded up, Hannah quickly loaded up the Internet. The first thing she did was check her email. The email from Daily Diapers about her private message from Kendra was still there. Hannah got up and closed her door, before going to the site to look at the message. The last thing she wanted was for Marie to walk in whilst she had that site up, as she had no idea how Marie would react to it.
Hannah went on the site and opened up the message.
'Hey Han' it read, 'I know I could have emailed you or texted you or something, but I was on the site anyway, so thought I would contact you this way. You know that story that you read of mine the other day? Yeah, well check out the story section. I finally plucked up the courage to post it. Kendra. P.S, do you remember that guy I added to my MSN, he is cbass on here? Well, I chatted to him for almost two hours yesterday'. Hannah closed the message and smiled. She then went to the story forum to see how much Kendra had posted and whether anyone had left any comments. Hannah quickly scanned through the story. She did not really need to read it as she had already read it a few days before. However, she did look at the end of the story to see where Kendra had finished it. Then Hannah looked at the comments that had been left. The first was from someone with the screen name diamondback688. It read 'Good job for your first story. I'm gonna keep reading'. Hannah smiled, and then read the second post. It was from the diaper mike and read 'More plz'. Hannah added her own comment saying 'I agree. More please. I really enjoyed it'. She looked around the site a bit more and read some of the new posts. She completely forgot about doing the research for her class the next day, and she completely forgot about Marie waiting downstairs on her own. Hannah did not even heat Marie coming up the stairs to go to the bathroom. It was only when Hannah's door suddenly opened that Hannah remembered what she was supposed to have been doing. She hurriedly minimised the Daily Diapers window, and hoped that Marie had not seen it.
"I got a bit bored downstairs. There wasn't really anything on. So I figured that I would come up and see if you had almost finished what you were supposed to be doing" Marie said. Hannah did not want to admit that she had not even started it, as she knew that Marie would probably then ask what Hannah had been doing.
"Um, I just have a bit more to do" Hannah said. Marie sat down on the bed.
"What was that site you were on when I came in the room? The one that you quickly minimised as soon as you saw me" Marie asked casually.
"Nothing" Hannah said. She turned back to the computer so that Marie wouldn't see her going red. Hannah then went on google and typed in what she was supposed to be researching.
"Oh ok" said Marie. She now of course that it was something, but it was something that Hannah appeared to be embarrassed at been caught on. Hannah quickly did her research as Marie watched. There was a bit of chatting between the two of them, but neither mentioned the website. Hannah quickly finished the research and saved it.
"Ok I'm done" Hannah said. She went to switch off the computer then stood up. Marie immediately noticed Hannah's wet nappy, which Hannah had forgotten all about. Hannah looked down to see what Marie was looking at and suddenly remembered that she had wet her nappy as she had come up the stairs. She sat down on the bed cross-legged and pulled the tigger onto her lap as she had done earlier.
"So what do you want to do?"
"I don't know. I'm not bothered" Marie replied. They decided to go back downstairs and watch TV.
When they had been sat downstairs for about quarter of an hour, Hannah realised that she needed to poop. Normally she would have just gone in her nappy without a second thought, but the presence of Marie was making Hannah rethink it. Hannah knew that she could go in her nappy and then get her mum to change her, or she could go and ask her mum to take off her nappy so she could go to the toilet. After thinking about it, Hannah realised that it would be easier to go in her nappy then ask for a change. As she did not know how Marie was going to react, Hannah decided to go up to her room away from Marie to do it.
"I'll be back in a bit" Hannah said, getting up. Marie looked over to her.
"Where are you going?"
"Um, toilet" Hannah said wondering if Marie would understand that Hannah was talking about going in her nappy in privacy.
"Han, I thought that's what the nappy was meant for" Marie said, completely missing what Hannah actually meant.
"Well, I don't have to pee" Hannah said slowly, trying to get the point across that she was going to poop in her nappy, without having to say the words to avoid embarrassing both of them.
"What?" said Marie not catching on again. She then thought it through.
"Oh" Marie said suddenly understanding everything. Hannah nodded and then headed out of the room. She went into her room leaving the door open.
Downstairs Marie tried to concentrate on the television. She was relieved that Hannah had left the room, rather than pooping her nappy in front of her. She just hoped that Jackie would be able to change Hannah before Hannah came back downstairs.
When Hannah had finished messing her nappy, she headed to her mums room to ask for a change. Unlike Monday evening, Hannah did not actually have to interrupt the phone call as Jackie was just coming out of her room as Hannah went to knock on the door.
"Oh Hannah, do you mind if I go out for a couple of hours. Simon has invited me to go for a couple of drinks with him" Jackie said.
"No, its fine, but before you go, can you change me please?" Hannah asked.
"Oh, is that what the smell is. Yep. Come on then" Jackie said noticing the smell in the air. Hannah turned round and went back to her own room with Jackie following her.
"If you need another change before I get back, then you will have to get Marie to change you, if you can't do it yourself ok"
"Yep" Hannah said.
"When are the nappies like Kendra's supposed to be coming?"
"What nappies?" said Jackie.
"You know, the ones with adjustable tapes"
"Did we order some?" Jackie said trying to remember.
"Oh yes of course. Well, they will probably be here next week sometime. Maybe tomorrow or Tuesday. Then you can test them out and we can get some more if you like them. You will still have to use up the rest of these ones without the adjustable tapes as well though," Jackie said.
"Yeah, I will" Hannah replied.
After you've finished reading, you might want to return to the DailyDiapers Story Index