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Tyler's Tribulations

Tyler walked slowly through the unfamiliar neighborhood. His breath was short and tiny beads of sweat were forming on his upper lip and brow. It was too cold out to be sweating like this, he thought. The excitement was building with every minute that passed and as he turned the corner his watch clicked over to ten am. The click was deafening in his mind, it was time to go in. His heart seemed to beat twenty times between each chime of the bell that was ringing only a few blocks from where he stood. He could faintly see the figure of a woman coming from behind the counter toward the glass door that he would be walking through momentarily. The woman's face emerged briefly amidst the reflections of the street that were dancing across the storefront. She appeared to be in her late forties but moved as though her joints were that of an old woman. The woman behind the glass looked up toward the ceiling as she flicked on the fluorescent lights.

As he summoned all of his courage, Tyler took a deep breath of autumn air and made his way across the street. He was unaware of everything that was happening around him though his eyes darted around frantically from under his hat. Could someone in this neighborhood know him? What if someone was headed out of town and by chance pulled into the little shopping center he was headed into? What would he do? His mind was swimming and his knees began to feel like they were being held together by rubberbands. The sign on the door was flipped around to read "open" and as it swayed back and forth the figure of the woman dissolved behind the reflections again.

Tyler momentarily snapped out of his haze as he passed a man that was sweeping around the tables and chairs of a bistro. He felt as though the man could read his mind, and as the two exchanged glances the guilt that had kept Tyler away from the shoppe for the past few months took hold. Then again, he thought, he could just be wondering why I was staring at him. He refocused on the store that was now only a few meters away. So what if he could read my mind, thought Tyler, he doesn't know me, he doesn't know anything about me. Another deep breath. You're nearly there, relax, he told himself as he made two committing steps toward the door. Reaching for the handle, he was startled by a woman with a child on her hip who was going into the same store. In that instant, he was nearly sick. His head spun, his stomach turned and his underwear absorbed the moisture that was unknowingly released. Just as quickly, he regained his composure and opened the door. She glanced up at him, "you okay?"she asked.

"Sure, yeah" he squeaked.

"Fine." He said, adjusting the octave.

She smiled and redirected her attention to the child on her hip that seemed as excited as anyone could be about being out and about. The woman with child walked up to the counter and handed a piece of paper to the cashier. As the cashier went toward the door to the storage room she looked over at the gentleman that appeared to be browsing the store. Odd, she thought as she read the prescription in her hand, it's not everyday someone comes in to browse.

Tyler walked very slowly up and down the three isles in the shoppe trying to outwait the lady at the counter and praying that no one else would walk through the door. His heart raced as he looked over at the packages that were along the wall near the lefthand side of the counter. He wanted desperately to go over, pick out what he needed and get out of the store but just couldn't seem to make himself do it. The cashier returned from the back and came through the opening in the counter saying "it'll just be one minute" to the woman waiting. Tyler glanced up and tried to manage half a smile as the cashier approached.

"Hi, sorry to keep you waiting over here, can I help you find anything?" she asked.

"Hi, uh, well I uh, I'm a here to pick up a few odds and ends and uh, I was." Tyler's mind was going blank. He looked at the cashier and then at the woman and then back to the cashier and the woman seemed preoccupied with her kid so..

"I need some help deciding on the, uh, type of product, and I'm really not sure that today, I mean."

"are you okay?"

"yeah," he said glancing at the other woman. At that, the cashier understanding that he was uncomfortable said, "Ok. Well, why don't you look around another minute while I take care of this customer and I'll be right back."

"Ok," Tyler replied meekly. He really felt miserable. His stomach was starting to act up, he was sweating and shaking and given a couple more minutes of this he felt like he could cry. The woman at the cash register was handed her receipt and walked toward the door. A not so subtle glance at Tyler sent his eyes to the floor as he chewed feverishly on his nails. The nonsensical banter of her child disappeared behind the closing glass door and the cashier reappeared in front of him.

"Now, what can I help you with?" she asked.

Tyler began walking toward the lefthand side of the counter as he said, "I uh, need some, uh protection"

"Condoms?"

"No! uh" looking toward the shelves that were now in front of them.

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, how silly of me. Now are we looking for light or heavy protection?"

"Well, uh, I don't, uh, see it's for at night and it's really just to keep the bed dry."

"OK, well if it's just a matter of keeping the bed dry we have these pads that you can put down on the mattress that will protect it from light wetting, but if you're a restless sleeper at all you'll probably want to wear one of these," she said pointing to an array of products that included everything from a sleeve, to underwear, to adult briefs. Not wanting to lead on that he wanted the thickest diaper available, Tyler allowed the woman to go through all of the different products explaining the pros and cons of each.

As she finished up her best impression of a Kimberly-Clarke ad, Tyler said.

"you know, it'd probably be best to get these, just to be on the safe side." He picked up a package of Tena briefs. Even the feel of the diapers beneath the plastic packaging was enough to get his heart racing. He never could figure out exactly why he would get these feelings, but such intense emotions can hardly be described, let alone explained.

"Do you need any oil or powder?" Tyler looked along the shelves with the generic talcum powders and ointments and decided against it.

"Nah, I think there's some at home." He lied. Truth be told, he was headed straight for the nearest CVS to pick up some Johnson & Johnson baby powder and wipes.

"Are you sure? Trust me, you really don't want a rash."

" Yeah, I'm sure. Can you package these up?" he asked the cashier. He was beginning to relax a bit- the hard part was over. He was standing in front of the only person that had any idea that he would be wearing diapers and he found it almost calming.

"We have bags that are normally used for delivery, but other than that just these plastic ones." She said returning to the other side of the counter.

"I have some more errands to run and would rather not be walking around with these in my hand."

"Ok, I suppose you can have one of these." As she rang up the sale the door at the front of the store opened up and Tyler's anxiety returned. She slid the package into the bag, dropped in the receipt and slid it over the counter.

"Have a nice day," she said with a smile.

"Thanks, you too," he said. For crying out loud get me the hell out of here already, he was thinking to himself. Tyler was beginning to become aware that the dampness in his shorts was not just from sweating. As he turned around .

As he turned around, his face went completely flush. A woman and her daughter were standing right behind him too aware of what he had in his bag.

The girl was in here early teens and her attempt to stifle her laugh was failing miserably. Her mother gave her a slap on the wrist and smiled apologetically. What a little brat, he thought walking as quickly as possible toward the door.

The cold air on his blushing face was invigorating. There was a little bounce in Tyler's step that had as much to do with his recent adventure as it did with the fact that he had to use the bathroom. The bistro at the corner was beginning to fill up with a brunch crowd. There were the LL Bean/Eddie Bauer couples sipping their lattes and attending to their dogs. There was a couple that looked as though they had just jumped out of the shower and were now sitting down to an enormous breakfast.

Probably humped like rabbits last night, thought Tyler, as he tried to remember the last time he had a night like that. Then there was the sock-less guy in the loafers, who was more about the routine of tucking the newspaper under his arm in exaggerated gestures than actually reading about the days' events. It struck Tyler as funny that everyone seemed to have their identity in this crowd and he was still struggling to find his. In the meantime though, he'd better find a bathroom or there was going to be an issue.

There was a CVS about four blocks over that Tyler had intended to go straight to, but he decided to be bold. He ducked into a hardware store and pretended to browse as he made his way toward the public restroom. He closed the door behind him and was immediately thinking that for a store selling cleaning products this was just nasty. Whatever- it's a bathroom, it's private and aaahhhhhh, relief. Tyler's pants were around his knees and he had pulled the wet underpants down just enough. He noticed a small wet spot just to the right of where all the seams came together on his jeans, but nothing noticeable. What was apparent, was that he'd better get the jockey shorts off or he was going to stink. He stood on his shoes to avoid sticking to the floor as he carefully removed his jeans. As he threw the jeans over his shoulder his wallet fell out along with some change. Well, thank god it didn't go in, he thought. His underwear left the inside of his thighs a little wet as he pulled them off and dropped them in the garbage. Tyler reached over to the sink, where his bag was perched and pulled out the package of diapers. The plastic smell of pampers was intoxicating and he took a moment to run his fingers over the top of the eighteen diapers. He already wished he had bought more. He tore open the top of the plastic and pulled out a brief. Just sliding his fingers in between the plastic made his insides, just below his stomach, stir. His precarious stance on his shoes made putting the diaper on very awkward, but once he got the tabs adjusted he just wanted to stand there and wiggle. He took the jeans off his shoulder and pulled them on. As he buttoned the fly up he noticed there was still quite a bit of room and the crinkling wasn't as muffled as he'd hoped.

He slid the jeans down just above his knees again and strapped on another one. Before taping up the top two tabs he reached in between the two diapers and placing his middle finger between his legs, tore a hole in the first diaper. Tyler then fastened the top two tabs, pulled up his jeans that were now a little tighter around the waist and much more so in the seat. He then made his first triumphant steps into public.

Tyler headed out of the hardware store reminding himself that people were going to look at him, and just because they did, it didn't mean they knew how he was dressed. Besides, how many people look for the tell tale panty lines of a diaper on a guy his age? The walk down to the CVS wasn't a bad one. For the most part it was a nice enough neighborhood, with trees along the sidewalk every so often with joggers and dog walkers scattered about.

The houses were mostly brownstones with the occasional Tudor every so often.

There were a few shops here and there that were mostly family owned because the community adamantly opposed chain stores. Even the ones that did make it into the neighborhood, like the CVS he was headed to, were required to adhere to a number of restrictions so the quaintness would not be lost.

Tyler was on cloud nine as he strolled up to the store, bottom diapered, bag in hand and his second mission nearly complete. Once he was in the store he scanned the signs above each isle taking note of the word "incontinence" over isle thirteen in the back of the store.

"Would you mind leaving your bag behind the counter please?"

"What?" Tyler asked. Was she serious? "Your bag sir, please leave it here with us. We've been having some trouble with shoplifting and are asking for everyone's cooperation."

"Ah, well, yeah ok." Thinking quickly, he pulled off his sweatshirt and stuffed it around the top of the bag to cover its contents. He was conscious of keeping the front of his shirt tucked in but unfortunately, the back rode up. He glanced behind him and sure enough, received a wide-eyed look from a portly little Hispanic lady who got a full view of the top of his diaper.

The combination of being aroused and mortified made him dizzy as he handed the bag over to an unknowing cashier who was more than anxious to go on break.

Tyler quickly retreated to the back of the store to the "baby needs" section to scout out his powder and wipes. Once again he was nauseous, only this time the uneasiness in his stomach translated into a need to sit on the toilet. A few deep breaths man, he thought. The gurgling and cramps amplified as he caught a whiff of an open box of wipes. He grabbed the wipes and the largest container of baby powder they had and walked across the back of the store. His beat red face drew some looks from the pharmacists behind the counter and Tyler's walk almost turned to a scurry. Still, he couldn't resist the little rush he got by just walking down the isle of adult diapers. More than once he had played off his being there by making some comment about being sent out by his girlfriend for a feminine product that he couldn't find. There was just something about it- even the diagram of the brief on the back of the bag was enough to get him going. He turned down isle thirteen to see the lady from the front of the store. She was standing in front of the diapers speaking to another nearly identical woman who was holding a package of protective underwear. When the two looked up at him they began conversing in Spanish and gestured toward him. The intensity of this embarrassment coupled with the stress of the entire morning finally caught up to him. And there, standing in isle thirteen of CVS, in front of two little round women, he completely lost control and began filling his diaper.

Tyler's eyes welled up and he buried himself under his cap as he continued to spurt in his pants while walking past the two women. He tried to walk normally, but it had been quite awhile since he'd been walking around in a dirty diaper. Thankfully, the cashier was so involved in her own conversation that she hardly took notice of the tears that streaked his face. She handed him his bag, rang him up and continued to yap on her cell phone about something or other.

Tyler didn't know what to do. His initial intention was to run these errands and then try and catch a movie, but those plans were most literally in the shitter. The top priority became getting a change. He had parked his car nearly a mile away because he needed to kill some time before the Medicine Shoppe opened up. That mile started feeling like ten, especially since the streets were now buzzing with people. He tied his sweatshirt around his waist, which actually had the opposite effect of what he was going for because it accentuated his bottom. The wind changed and he began to smell his condition. This is brutal, he thought, why did I do this to myself? Still, the shame and guilt he felt was nothing compared to how turned on he was. A raging hard-on encased in in a diaper, how terribly sexy, he thought to himself.

A few meters in front of him, a woman was pushing a stroller. There was a diaper bag draped over one of the handles and shopping bags stuffed in the compartment in the back.

"We'll get you changed in just a minute," she was saying toward the front of the stroller. He wished that he could ask her to change him. He wished he was in the stroller sucking on a pacifier without a care in the world. He wished.

Tyler recognized the next block as his safe haven, his car was only a few stinky steps away. He waddled briskly across the street, opened the door, threw the bag in and eased behind the wheel. It didn't matter how softly he sat down, the mess spread throughout his diaper. He started up the car and before he even pulled out of the parking space had to put the windows down.

He smelled awful. There was no way he was going to attempt to change himself in the car, he had to get home. Getting back into his apartment building sure was going to be interesting.

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