Home About Us Photos Videos Stories Reviews Forums & Chat Personals Links Advertise Donate Contact
After you've finished reading, you might want to return to the DailyDiapers Story Index
My 18th Birthday
“Stoopid,
stoopid, stoooooopid,” I was so angry with myself for
letting it happen. I was rapping my knuckles on my
forehead, shouting and scowling at myself because I just
couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been.
I know I’m
not the brightest person in the world but I should have
caught on sooner and I wouldn’t be in the mess,
literally, that I was now… sitting in. With a thick
diaper stuck to my body, I disliked immensely the way
the poop engulfed everything and made me feel both dirty
and queasy. It didn’t help that I was
being chastised for being “A dirty little baby” and made
to feel that was all that I would ever achieve.
Banging my
head wasn’t helping as it hurt. I sat shaking in my pile
of poo unable to do much else and began, as I so often
did these past few days, to cry. No doubt I looked the
picture of abject misery but, this is what the people
had wanted and they were getting just that from my
current display.
*
My name is
Benjamin or Ben, never Benjy as I’ve always thought that
sounded so childish. My parents are both quite high
achievers in their respective fields; mom being an art
historian and dad being a Biotech company CEO. My older
sister, Gwyneth had her first book published when she
was sixteen, her second did quite well and her third,
Smart Moves, had recently been optioned for a movie.
I on the other
hand am basically just that, basic. I have no
conspicuous talent. I cannot play sports very well
(although I’m always game for a … game) and my academic
achievements had me constantly in the bottom half-dozen
or so. It wasn’t that I didn’t try, Hell; I never
stopped trying as I had a great deal to live up to but I
just wasn’t clever enough. Simply put, compared to the
rest of my family I am DUMB, not gifted in anyway but,
on the plus side, I would try anything if I could.
Whereas the rest
of my family have terrific jobs I’m stacking produce at
our local superstore. It’s boring and doesn’t pay well;
a group of Mexicans, East Europeans and me all work for
minimum pay just so we have a job to our name. It
probably is about the only thing I can do without
mucking up but I’d like something better. But hey, look
around you – do you see loads of bosses desperate to
give high paying jobs away to the likes of me? You get
what you’re given and like it… or at least don’t
complain about it.
I’ve heard being
described by my parents as ‘over-emotional’ (although
it’s always said as a whisper and as if I wasn’t even in
the room). Obviously it is a somewhat dismissive term
but I’m not sure I know why being ‘over-emotional’ is a
bad thing. OK, I admit that I can cry at seeing kittens
and puppies playing (in fact any baby creatures
immediately win my heart) but it’s out of joy. I know
I’ve been known to cry at some awful news story where
people have been hurt or killed and I also seem to
identify with the images of the starving across the
world and yes, I am emotional and get upset about any
form of violence. For a guy my age I watch very little
TV because I find it too violent and the same with
computer games. My friends, those few I have, think I’m
weird and a bit of a ‘softie’ (although I’m sure they
say much worse).
OK. So I’m still
living at home with Mom and Dad, when they are here,
otherwise I’m shipped off to my clever author sister
while they are away on business, vacation or whatever as
they don’t trust me not to wreck or set fire the house
if I’m left to my own devices. Chance would be a fine
thing.
*
It was
approaching my 18th Birthday and I was
looking forward to some kind of celebration as all my
other (few) friends had huge parties when they had
reached this magical age. Alas, both my parents would be
away on business for a month and my sister wasn’t
interested in giving me a party. I suggested we go out
for a meal, or something, but she’d just had some bad
news herself and was in no mood for any kind of
celebration.
Gwyneth had just
found out that her boyfriend of three years had recently
sired a baby with another girl, whilst my sister had
just lost her own. Her house was no place for merriment
and I was happy to spend as much time as I could
stacking shelves and collecting
trolleys just so I wasn’t around her too much.
However, one
late night I saw her looking through an album of old
photographs. She was smiling at a page that had some
rather cute pictures of me. The one she was particularly
happy about was of me, I must have been barely one
year-old, sleeping and cuddling my teddy bear (Teddy),
whilst wearing only a particularly thick and well-pinned
diaper. My blue pacifier seemed to cover half my face
but I looked so happy and contented hugging Teddy
tightly. According to Gwyneth, I was always a happy,
chirpy little baby, always smiling and rocking in my
diaper or crawling around on some expedition that ended
with me back where I started.
*
Eventually, as
we settled together on the sofa she asked, with an air
of sadness, regret and nostalgia, what it was that I
missed most about my childhood. I shrugged and looked at
the album, the page still open at me and my teddy bear.
“That.” I said
emphatically. “I miss having something to cuddle.”
When I was five
years-old my parents, no doubt thinking it was for my
own good (or something they had read somewhere) decided
to get rid of all my childish notions by throwing out
all my baby toys and mementoes. Teddy went with the rest
of the stuff to the goodwill store and I never saw him
again. I was devastated and I know for weeks after I’d
wake up wet both from crying so much and peeing the bed.
The last thing they wanted to do was put me back in
diapers (it was against the very concept of my growing
up) but mom would only put up with wet sheets for a
couple of days before she insisted I wear disposables on
a night. Oddly enough, these became my comfort for the
next few months until I was gradually weaned off my loss
of Teddy and eventually back into pjs.
Gwyneth took
another look at the photo I was still pointing at.
“You do look
particularly sweet,” she said nodding at the photo and
then half to herself, “perhaps I should get you
something special for your birthday after all?”
Now I love my
sister, in fact, I love everybody. I try not to be nasty
to anyone and I go out of my way to be respectful to my
seniors (Gwyneth is six years older than me) and try and
do what I can to help if they are in difficulties or
provide a cheerful word if they look like they might
need one. I’m no Good Samaritan but I do help out at
charity events and the church if they need any
volunteers. At work, on their charity day, I was helping
run the crèche, organise the free food and dress up as a
clown to entertain the children. I got extra credit for
all my efforts and was able to get an extra 5% off
anything I bought in the store that week. Alas, I had no
money and there was nothing I wanted.
*
As my 18th
birthday approached I noticed that Gwyneth’s mood
improved, as if in some way my reaching this age had
cheered her up. I was glad to see her a lot happier and
we chatted long into the night about silly stuff and our
family. She was telling me that at the moment she had a
sort of ‘writer’s block’ (which after all she’d been
through I could understand) and that she was glad she
had her ‘little brother’ to keep her company through
this trying time. I felt sorry for her having to go
through all that but was pleased that I was there and in
some way help. Perhaps my parents hadn’t been quite as
selfish as I’d thought in not letting me stay at home on
my own.
The guys at work
had bought me celebratory cake for my birthday, which we
wolfed down in our lunch break. I received a card signed
by them all and also received a load of pats on the back
and ‘well dones’ throughout the day. You’re probably
wondering why I wasn’t out with my friends or
girlfriend, well, I don’t have that many friends and
most girls are only interested in a guy with a car and I
didn’t fall into that particular category. When I got
home the mailman had been but I got not so much as a
card from mom and dad. I suppose they were too busy but
you’d think… wouldn’t you? Thankfully, Gwyneth had
remembered and not only got me a card but a present.
*
It was the
biggest teddy bear I’d ever seen. It was slightly bigger
than me and had this huge blue bow around its neck just
like Teddy had. At first I thought ‘what a stupid gift’
but then I remembered our conversation from a few days
previously and, ever thoughtful, she had actually bought
me something she thought I’d love. As I stroked his soft
fleecy bulk (yes I named him Teddy as I’m that
imaginative), his glassy eyes and stitched on smile won
me over and I couldn’t stop cuddling him… he was so soft
and… wonderful. Gwyneth was delighted that I was happy
and we sat and had a meal that she had specially
prepared. She even offered me a glass of a rather nice
chilled white wine, which for once didn’t taste of warm
sour apples like I’d had in the past, although I really
wasn’t much of a drinker.
After two rather
large glasses I was quite giggly and Gwyneth was very
entertaining. She took a few photographs on her phone of
me and Teddy cuddling and kissing (yes I know but I’d
had a couple of drinks) and she thought how delightful
we both looked. Then she said she had an idea and
wondered if I’d be up for a dare. I wasn’t sure where
this was going but, with my inhibitions loosened by the
wine, nodded and she suggested we recreate that image of
me of when I was one year old.
*
I laughed out
loud. She laughed along with me and then said that
perhaps, we should ask Teddy?
“OK Teddy, you
huge cuddlesome beast,” she giggled like she was a seven
year-old, “should Benjy…”
Now I giggled
like a toddler as I looked into Teddy’s eyes half
expecting him to actually reply. His huge furry face and
soft welcoming body oozed love and friendliness… this
was a Teddy who would always be there for you… for me…
and would never steer me wrong.
“… should Benjy
accept the dare?” She nodded then looked at me who was
watching her and then looked back at Teddy.
Suddenly she
leapt up and gave a little shout “There,” she said
emphatically, “he just nodded.”
I looked back at
Teddy and there was no doubt that his smile appeared to
have got broader (though this might be down to the
influence of alcohol on my brain) and he was nodding
(again this might have been down to my sister pushing
him with an unseen hand), either way, it was conclusive.
Teddy wanted me to re-enact my photo.
*
I started
cuddling him but Gwyneth said that I had to change
first. I wasn’t too sure what she meant but she told me
to follow her to her room.
“OK, let’s do
this correctly,” she slurred slightly, “We need you
dressed properly.”
I wasn’t sure
what was about to happen but I was enjoying the
silliness of the situation so went along with it.
“Take off your
clothes,” she waved her hand in the direction of them,
“and lay down on my bed.”
I was a little
bit shocked at the suggestion but it was my sister and
she wouldn’t be seeing anything she hadn’t seen
thousands of times before, which she reminded me of as I
slowly pulled off my shirt and dropped my jeans.
“Yesshh, and
your boxers,” she went off in search of something in the
bathroom.
Reluctantly, I
slid them to the floor and then playfully kicked them
off. They landed on a lampshade, which immediately made
me start to giggle even more. “Now I’m an accurate
kicker,” I half grumbled to myself. “Why wasn’t I that
good when I played soccer and there were other people
around?”
*
I lay out naked
on the soft, feather-filled, cream and blue duvet that
covered her bed and awaited her return; my bare dick not
displaying any of its usual feistiness like it often did
when it came to being free of clothing. I stroked it a
couple of times but thankfully it wasn’t playing and at
that point Gwyneth arrived back in the room carrying a
thick towel and I guilty let go of my prized ‘toy’.
“I’ll get you
something else to play with later,” she mocked as she
pretended to slap away my hand.
I realised what
she was going to do and thought “Why not go all the
way?” so let her fold it into shape and slip it under my
bum… although before pinning it into place she sprinkled
some baby powder all over me.
“Now you even
smell the part,” she was smiling and that had me
responding in the same way as I quite like the smell of
talcum powder.
Nakedness
between us has never been a problem. Nudity was never
shameful in our family and it was just ‘normal’ that we
wondered from bedroom to bathroom naked as it was
wearing something. As we grew up we didn’t hide
ourselves from each other so it was really no big deal
for her to see my genitals, though perhaps not so close
up. Even though she hadn’t lived at home for a couple of
years now I wasn’t bothered as she rubbed the powder in
and then tightly pulled the towel up between my legs and
pinned it into place.
She pulled me to
my feet and let me look at myself in the mirror. I was
amazed at how thick the towel fashioned as a diaper
appeared but, and I have to hand this to my sister, it
looked exactly like the one I was wearing as a baby all
those years ago.
She was smiling.
“Let’s go show it off to Teddy… see what he thinks off
his little friend… his little Benjy.”
****
tbc
Part 2
Though it’s a
name I never really liked, Benjy just seemed appropriate
at that moment. She took my hand and guided me back to
Teddy who once again seemed more than happy to see me,
even dressed as I was. Gwyneth was keen that we should
cuddle on the floor (not me and her, me and Teddy) so
she could get another photograph. He
was so cosy and soft it was like falling into warm
butter and, as I squeezed him tightly, his furry arms
appeared to embrace me at the same time. There is
something very satisfying about a soft, yielding bear
that welcomes you into its arms and responds with soft
fleecy tickles to your naked body. Everywhere his fur
touched produced a wonderful sensation; little ripples
of giggly pleasure and velvety reassurance added
together with delicate caresses made me feel very
safe... and very loved.
There was one
thing missing and I was surprised when Gwyneth suddenly
produced the finishing touch. She slipped a huge blue
pacifier between my lips, which I had no idea how she
got or where it came from. At that moment I didn’t
question anything as Gwyneth started organising and
taking her snaps.
It was no
problem snuggling with Teddy and to tell you the truth I
was thoroughly enjoying myself. This was the most
intimate contact I’d had with anyone (or anything)
since, well, since I was five and had my final cuddle
with the original Teddy… and I appreciated this renewed
relationship.
*
The room was
warm and I was comfortable wearing only a made-up
diaper. It fitted tightly so wasn’t falling down every
few seconds and once Gwyneth had finished taking her
photos, we settled down to finish our meal, well dessert
actually. It was nothing special except a rather
colourful ice-cream medley. We decided to have it
sitting on the sofa whilst watching a late night movie.
Teddy was just too big to sit with us so he sat at my
bare feet, tickling them every time I brushed against
him, which I did regularly, so I was smiling when my
sister brought in the dessert in a bowl.
She then did
something we’d never done before; she fed me spoonsful
of the stuff in between taking the odd mouthful for
herself. It was a lovely tender and unexpected moment.
At one point we were in fits of laughter because she’d
offered some to Teddy only for him to turn it down. I
think she sneakily nudged his head so it looked like he
was refusing the creamy delight.
“Well I suppose
someone’s got to think of their figure,” she shrugged
and we both sniggered like tots at that.
The movie was
boring and the wine had made me very tired so I excused
myself and brought my 18th birthday
celebrations to a close. Gwyneth gave me a ‘goodnight’
peck and I thanked her for a great fun night (I had
actually enjoyed what we’d done together it was so
unlike anything we’d ever done before) as she patted my
diapered bum and jokingly said I wasn’t to wet, but if I
was going to, then at least I was dressed accordingly.
I laughed as I
began to trundle to my room but she called me back and
asked if I wasn’t forgetting somebody? Of course, Teddy.
I picked him up, for such a huge animal he was
incredibly light to carry, and we toddled off to bed. It
felt strange having the thickness of the diaper between
my legs but with Teddy by my side I wasn’t worried, I
dreamily thought he’d protect me from whatever the
darkness brought. He was my friend and oddly enough the
diaper seemed to make everything feel as it should be.
Maybe it was the memory of how comforting diapers had
been after I lost Teddy the first time that made me not
worry as to the way I was dressed.
We climbed on
top of the sheets together and it was so nice sinking
into bed with someone else, even if that someone was
Teddy. He was warm and welcoming and it wasn’t long
before, clutched in his paws (and him mine) we were dead
to the world.
*
I woke up from a
particularly heavy night’s sleep. I was slightly woozy
but I was still clutching hold of Teddy, I smiled and
thanked him for keeping me safe. I lay there for a few
minutes enjoying the sensation of Teddy against my skin
when I became aware of the thickness between my legs. I
pulled back the thin piece of sheet partially covering
us both and saw the towel hanging loosely around my
hips. I was quite impressed that I’d been able to sleep
with such an unusual thing wrapped around me but
apparently, it had made no difference to how I slept.
Then I suddenly wondered if I’d wet myself. I didn’t
feel wet but… I slipped my hand across the front and
thankfully that all felt dry, then, furtively, I slipped
it down the front and checked around my dick.
“Dry”, I sighed
with relief.
I got up, went
to the bathroom and had a nice long shower. I could hear
Gwyneth pottering around downstairs and was really
pleased with the way we’d celebrated my birthday. As the
shower grew warmer I was thinking it was a birthday I’d
never forget and beamed enthusiastically at the thought
of what we’d done. It had been madly childish but I now
had a new Teddy and although I was eighteen, I wasn’t
going to let my parents or anyone else send him to the
goodwill store.
*
Dressed in
shorts and t-shirt I wandered downstairs. I had four
days off until I was scheduled to go back into work so I
was being comfortable and relaxed. The store uniform was
a tight-fitting green polyester ensemble of trousers and
a shirt; with my name and ‘CAN I HELP’ written across
the left breast, it wasn’t the most comfortable thing to
wear but no one could pretend I wasn’t staff. Anyway, it
was something I was always happy to ditch the moment I
got home and slip into my favourite casual clothing,
which is what I now wore as I wondered into the kitchen.
Gwyneth was
making coffee, smiling and humming to herself. We
exchanged the usual pleasantries but I detected a grin
on her face, which meant she was up to something.
“What are you
smiling about,” I enquired.
“Oh, nothing
much except I did something last night I’m… er…
surprised at the results.” She smiled but looked down as
if she had a guilty secret.
“Yes, it was
pretty strange wasn’t it… oh… and that reminds me… I’ve
put the diaper in the bin. It’s not wet. Well it is but
I… er… just dried myself on it.” I said quickly
defending myself against any thoughts to the contrary
she might have.
Her face
brightened up.
“No seriously. I
didn’t pee my diaper, honest. I just used what was
nearby when I climbed out of the shower.” I stammered.
She could see I
was getting slightly agitated over nothing but that
smile was still there.
“I believe you,”
she tried to calm me and put her hand over mine.
“Anyway, I’m talking about something else.” And she
flipped open the laptop that lay in front of her.
“See,” she
pointed to a Facebook page that had an image of me as a
one year-old and me as an eighteen year-old, side by
side hugging teddies, with pacis in our mouth and
wearing diapers.
She’d put the
damn image from last night online. I was mortified. Not
only that but as a joke she had swapped the caption
underneath so it read “Benjy at 18” under the image of
me at one year-old and “Benjy at 1” under the other.
“Take it down.”
She was still
smiling.
“Please,
Gwyneth, take it down before anyone sees it… I… I…”
“Too late for
that I’m afraid.” The smile never left her face as she
pointed to the fact that there were 207 Likes and 44
Comments… all of which Gwyneth assured me were positive.
I put my head in
my hands and wondered what I should do. I’ve never been
any good at getting angry and I don’t think I’ve ever
lost my temper with Gwyneth so I was stumped for how I
should really respond. All I could think about was the
guys at work seeing it and them constantly referring to
it. It was a good thing I had so few friends, I wasn’t
on Facebook because of that, but she told me she’d set
one up just for me. Also, she informed me that I was now
‘trending’, whatever that was, and the next time I
looked the Facebook page had gone up to 297 Likes and 61
comments.
*
I sat quietly
sipping my coffee but unable to eat anything at that
moment. I had filled-up and I was desperately trying to
hold back my emotions. I wondered what had possessed her
to do such a thing but as she was sat typing away I
thought perhaps it had helped her get past her writers
block. She pressed the ‘enter’ key and sat back relieved
as if she’d just completed an enormous task.
“Have you
unblocked yourself,” I asked rather ineptly (and
weepily).
She looked at me
pondering what I meant, “Can you now write… have you got
over not having a story or… whatever…?”
She smiled and
said that she now had an idea but that it would need my
help to see where it led. She was trying to cheer me up
and dig me out of my ‘emotional’ state with a bit of
enthusiasm. She speculated that it might be a terrific
change of style for her but needed my involvement and
hoped I’d be up for it. I was still nursing my bruised
and emotional ego; I didn’t really want 297… no it was
now 314… people to think of me as a baby but I suppose
it did no real harm. After all, I had so few friends to
worry over and in fact, my parents and my sister were
the only people I really had anything to do with. I
liked the guys at work but… well… it was work; it wasn’t
like we socialised much. Even school mates were few and
far between, I only saw them when they were back from
college or university or where ever.
“I’ve just
uploaded a few more images of you from last night to the
page…” she spun the screen for me to see, “and already
people are clicking the ‘Like’ button.”
*
Although I was
frustrated with her attitude my sister had furnished me
with something else for my birthday, something I would
never even have thought about, my own Facebook page. As
I watched the screen I was amazed to see the number of
Likes and Comments that kept appearing. She smiled at my
stunned expression and suggested that I should read some
of them.
I had no idea
how to go about it but she pointed out how many Likes
each image was receiving and clicked on a box that let
me see the comments. Most were very positive: “Oooo
look at the lickle babe”, “What a sweet innocent
picture”, “Lovely idea”, “What a nice boy” and
similar things. However, there were one or two more
intense messages.
Gwyneth tapped
the screen. “I think maybe later we should take a look
at these suggestions and see where they lead.”
I
shook my head and told her I didn’t think so but she
begged me to reconsider as she thought it would make an
interesting part to a new novel she was just beginning
to envisage. This, she promised, would get her back on
track as she could already feel her creative juices
flowing. I still doubted the wisdom of getting involved
but she told me that I would be credited at the front of
the book for my ‘inspiration’. OK, she got me. How could
I refuse my sister and such an opportunity to be
recognised as someone who had given a successful author
‘inspiration’?
*
As I sat at her
laptop reading the various messages she told me, as she
slipped on her coat, collected her car keys and headed
for the door, not to reply to any comment just yet. I
just shrugged but I have to admit that my curiosity was
aroused by just how many people, now standing at over
400 Likes and 83 Comments, felt the need to acknowledge
my photographs. I know I was looking like a happy
teenager playing with a huge teddy bear and wearing just
a diaper but I couldn’t get over why that should create
such attention.
“Where you
going?” I eventually managed to break away from the
screen.
“Just to get a
few things from the store, I shouldn’t be long.” She
smiled. “There’s plenty of juice in the fridge if you’d
rather have that than coffee… and there are some English
muffin’s if you want something to eat.”
“OK, see you
soon.”
I did prefer
juice and poured myself a lovely long cool glass of OJ
before putting the muffins in the toaster. I grabbed the
butter and strawberry jelly and sat at the laptop
waiting for the toaster to do its job, the screen had
gone blank and wasn’t sure whether I should touch it to
try and get my pages back. I was curious to see how
things had developed since I’d last looked. I waited
until I’d finished my breakfast before I examined the
screen again and hoped that by touching one of the keys
I didn’t erase all of Gwyneth’s work.
*
A list of
recently visited sites appeared and I was distracted to
see that the latest one was YouTube. This was perhaps
one of my favourite sites because of all the cute animal
clips that seemed to occupy most of its content. I
decided I’d like to see some playful kittens to cheer
myself up and pressed on the key. It went straight to a
clip of a big baby rolling around the floor with a huge
teddy. Oh no, it was me. The clip started on my diaper
pins and slowly pulled out to reveal, well, everything.
To begin with my face was hidden by the big paci and it
could have been anybody but as I played with Teddy and
moved around the floor hugging and kissing him I became
more and more identifiable.
My mouth went
dry, it was if I’d never even drunk that OJ, and I
stared at the screen mesmerised by my actions. There was
absolutely no doubt I was having fun, diaper or not, and
from the occasional looks to the camera you could tell I
was in my element. As I watched my body went clammy and
I could feel those emotions of mine rising to the
surface.
As I happily
played my diapered bottom appeared to be the main focus
of attention – just what the hell was Gwyneth thinking?
There were three different clips; two of me playing with
Teddy and one of me sleeping with Teddy, which I didn’t
even know she’d recorded. In fact, I didn’t know she’d
recorded anything I thought she was just taking photos
with her phone. There I was, happily snuggling Teddy
with my arms wrapped around him, paci hanging slightly
out of my mouth fast asleep and my white padded bottom
looking quite prominent against the dark blue of my
sheets.
I wondered why
so many people had commented and noticed that the clips
had, even after just such a short space of time,
received more than 3200 hits. There was a link to the
Facebook page but now I was dreading reading the
comments as I was sure they would be calling me a perv…
or worse. I filled up with tears and cried because I
didn’t know what I could do, I thought such notoriety
would make me a laughing stock in town, perhaps lose my
job and I’d never be able to look people in the eye
again.
*
My bottom lip
was still trembling when Gwyneth arrived back home. I
hadn’t moved from staring at the screen because I was
simply mesmerised by the images. She could see I was
disturbed and dropped the bundle of packages she was
carrying and came over to comfort me. The sobbing became
a full blown wail as I buried my head in her bosom and
kept on asking her “Why?” I assumed she hadn’t done it
to hurt me but I couldn’t figure out why she would do
such a thing.
After a few
minutes I calmed down and I looked at my sister through
tear-stained eyes. She hugged me again and asked why I
was crying. I was speechless that she could ask such a
question so just pointed to the screen.
“Yes, it’s you…”
she asked with concern, “but why are you crying?”
“What… what…
what will…” I sniffed, “what will people think?”
She just shook
her head slightly.
“They’ll think
that there’s something wrong with me… they’ll think
I’m…” I couldn’t finish my thoughts as I was overcome
once again with a huge sob that gripped my throat and
left me shaking my head in disbelief.
“Tell me,”
Gwyneth was now all very serious, “aren’t those really
tears of happiness?”
I looked at her
in disbelief.
“You’re
eighteen. Eighteen,” she emphasised, “and” she pointed
at the screen, “that’s the first time I’ve seen you
truly happy in many-a-year.”
There was no
doubt about it those images were of me genuinely happy.
When I was playing with Teddy I simply didn’t have
another thought in my head apart from having a fun time
with him. But I wondered, what might others think of an
eighteen year-old running around in a towel… that’s a
diaper?
Gwyneth hugged
me once more. “You, my sweet little Benjy, needed
something. I wasn’t sure what to begin with but, and I’m
sorry to say this to my little brother but, you needed a
kick up the arse for you to start living.”
I was stunned at
what she was saying.
“You are
eighteen and just coasting through life. You have a
miserable job…” I interrupted her and said that at least
I had a job. “Yes you do, and I’m sure it’s fine in many
ways but… I’ve never seen you actually happy for so long
now. You seem to have few, if any, friends and mom and
dad are no real help to encourage you…”
The enormity of
what she was saying suddenly gripped me and I felt that
huge sob I’d been holding back in the pit of my stomach
come out with force. I hung onto Gwyneth as I wailed and
wailed, not this time because I was worried about what
others might think but because she was correct.
*****
tbc
Part 3
Later, when
I’d calmed down, Gwyneth told me her thinking. She said
that from the moment I saw the photo of me with Teddy as
a baby there was an immediate change of expression on my
face; wistful, thoughtful, with a touch of longing. She
wasn’t sure but thought Teddy made me happy. I began to
think back - certainly that time in my life, when I
wasn’t regarded as anything but a toddler, when I didn’t
have to prove myself and just enjoy my childhood… I was
like everyone else my age… a little kid revelling in
what was around him... I was happy.
She went into a
great deal of detail about how I tried so hard to live
up to my parent’s expectations; they were of the opinion
that kids should grow up quick and had little time for
games and play – ‘read and learn’ was their philosophy.
Unfortunately, those were the very things Gwyneth was
most happy doing but I just couldn’t get to grips with.
Reading and numbers just weren’t for me and I wrestled
with school work, which I found very difficult no matter
how I tried. My sister went on about how, even so young,
I let failure weigh heavy on my shoulder, although it
wasn’t always obvious because I tried to be positive and
strived to be upbeat.
Once our parents
realised I wasn’t going to be a boy genius (they were
most disappointed in my report cards) they more or less
lost interest. They gave themselves over to their work
and concentrated on their careers rather than what I
did. Of course Gwyneth was way ahead in her development
and they saw no problems there. Often I tried to read
but once I’d open a book, if I got past the first two
pages, well, my concentration level jumped to wanting to
watch TV or go and play outside. Sometimes I’d curl up
with Gwyneth and she’d read to me whatever it was she
was interested in. I may not have understood everything
but I think, without her, I’d know very little. When I
thought about it, she did the job my parents should have
done. It wasn’t that they ignored me, more that they
tolerated me. I was their son after all…
I zoned back in
to what Gwyneth was saying. “You may not have been the
cleverest in school but everyone liked you.” She looked
at me very concerned and stroked my arm.
She went on to
tell me that even now I accept limitations but said I
shouldn’t. She thought it sad that I didn’t have a
girlfriend… or a boyfriend, she nudged me and smiled,
but thought I needed to do something to break away from
my ‘boring’ rut of a life… and do something to regain my
happiness.
“The recreation
of the photograph last night suddenly brought things
into focus for me,” she was on a roll now. “You seemed
to become a different person, a happy person, a person
who, left to their own devices… and given the right
stimulus…”
“You mean you
thought I enjoyed being a baby?” I asked incredulously.
She pointed to
the screen. “Yes, just look at yourself. Even when
you’re asleep you look happy.”
A shiver ran
through my body because I knew she was making some kind
of sense and I had really loved last night. “But the
diaper… what will people think?”
“Well,” she
pondered. “You may not like it but… I think that helped
release something in you - something that has been
holding you back. Last night we giggled like kids and
there was no one around but us two to say anything or
have an opinion about what we did. No parents, no
workmates, no one to hold you back, so why should you
let others inhibit you? Stop thinking about what others
may think… they don’t matter.”
Then she ran her
hand through my hair and kissed my forehead, “And yes…
even for an eighteen year-old, running around in a
diaper… you looked pretty damn cute.”
“But why put it
all online, couldn’t you just have said something?” I
complained.
“It was just a
spur of the moment decision. I wanted to let you see
that the majority of people quite like to see someone
enjoying themselves. People like all kinds of things to
hide what they do and what they are, but you brother,
were open and happy when you weren’t worrying about
anyone else and I think others respond to that.” She
pointed to the screen, “I think you respond to that.”
*
There were more
opinions from my sister and, as she’s a lot brighter
than me, eventually convinced me that this was a turning
point in my life. She added that the comments online
were almost all positive, occasionally cheeky but always
interested, supportive and in some ways quite
affectionate. Of course there’s going to be one or two
people who hate the idea of others finding a way of
having fun “Just so they can shit on you” (yep she
actually said shit) but, and this is where her recent
shopping trip had come in, she wanted to try and let me
take that idea of happiness a little further.
She’d bought a
whole load of adult disposables and wanted me to spend
the next few days wearing nothing but them. She
persuaded me that I needed to get back to when I was at
my happiest. To relive those times hoping to give me a
window into what I needed to do to make me content in
the future. I baulked at her suggestion but my sister
has a way of getting me to go along with her plans so,
guess what?
She took me
upstairs, stripped me out of my shorts and t-shirt and
slipped me into a tight-fitting disposable. She took
great pains to make the event something special; opening
the package, unfurling the diaper, enjoying the
crinkling sound as she spread it under my bottom. The
wet-wipes and powder she used to clean me up (not that I
was dirty or anything it was all part of a process), the
silliness as I started to get a stiffy from her
ministrations, which she quickly took care of by pulling
the disposable tightly up between my legs and taping me
snugly in. From her bag she produced a
pair of plastic pants and had me climb into them after
which led me to Teddy, who, during the proceedings she
had found time to dress the same. How she knew I’d go
along with her suggestion I do not know but, oddly
enough, I was delighted to see Teddy dressed like me and
it did make things easier. We spent the rest of the day
playing games; me, my sister and Teddy.
*
Now you may
think - well that was easy - getting me into diapers but
I’ve spared you the long discussion we had to go through
to get to that stage. She showed me loads of comments
that had been posted by those who’d watched the clip or
seen the images. As I’ve said, most seemed straight
forward and nice but others were actually welcoming me
to my ‘little’ side. I had no idea what they were
referring to but Gwyneth seemed to understand and, more
importantly, felt it was something I should get to know.
Ever the author, she’d spent some time researching what
it all meant and thought it applied to me, even if I
wasn’t aware of it.
She then showed
me clip after clip of other grown-ups wearing diapers
and having fun. People from all over the world and all
ages, I was astonished there were others at all. A
couple of cute boys in Japan appeared to have a site
about their daily diapered exploits, one nice young man
sang a song at his piano dressed in a thick diaper.
There were so many – an old guy eating whilst in a
high-chair, others drinking from baby-bottles and sippy
cups or charging around whilst wearing nothing but
diapers and a cape pretending to be a super hero.
Meanwhile, as
some played with toys several exhibited what they had
just crayoned or painted. It was quite overwhelming and
gave the impression that diapered and padded plastic
covered bottoms were everywhere. It was a whole new
world to me and one I had no idea existed but, as
Gwyneth pointed out, they were all enjoying themselves
and not worrying what anyone else thought.
She convinced me to give it a go and promised
that if I wasn’t getting any pleasure from the new
‘situation’ then we’d forget all about it.
It was late
evening when I was eventually diapered and, thanks to
Gwyneth, I didn’t feel guilty whilst running around
dressed as I was and cheerfully including Teddy in all
my escapades. Suddenly my mind was open to fun -
childish fun - fun that I hadn’t experienced, well,
since I was a toddler. The truth was I was in my
element. Weirdly, the wearing of a diaper and plastic
pants (Gwyneth said it was my freedom uniform!)
had no restricting effect on the way I behaved. In fact,
she was correct, it felt wonderful to wear; snug,
comfortable and the constant rustling as I moved around
acted like some kind of soothing sound I found
reassuring. Though it may have appeared very juvenile to
anyone looking on I’d never felt happier, freer, or more
content. The diapers, the plastic pants, the pacifier,
indeed the entire ensemble gave me a feeling of complete
reassurance. Teddy provided someone I could direct it
all to, while Gwyneth was my guide and safeguard.
*
In the morning I
woke up with Teddy and off course I’d spent the night
wearing just my padded protection (another term Gwyneth
used although I wasn’t sure from what it was I was being
protected). My sister was standing over me and gently
shaking my shoulder to rouse me from my deep and
untroubled sleep and then, without asking, she felt down
the front of my diaper.
“What are you
doing?” I queried as I quickly clasped her hand over my
bulky protection stopping her searching fingers from
reaching any further.
“Just checking.”
“Just checking
what?”
“Just seeing if
you wet yourself in the night…”
“What?” I asked
incredulously. “Why would I wet myself?”
“You might have…
I was just checking so that you don’t have to be
embarrassed if you had and…”
“Stop, stop.” I
waved my finger at her. “I’m old enough to get up and go
to the bathroom, why on earth would I wet myself?”
She smiled. “You
don’t have to get all defensive. All I’m saying is… if
you had wet yourself it’s OK I will…”
“That’s not OK
at all,” I argued. “I’m not going to pee… or poop in a
diaper… YUK!”
“Fair enough.
All I’m saying is, should you do so then
you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. I’ll change
and clean you up.”
I was getting
slightly annoyed. Even though I enjoyed being in my
diaper I didn’t actually think about using it as a
toilet. However, soon after she left the room for me to
get up she returned with a new disposable and some other
bits and bobs and told me I needed a change anyway. As
I’d sort of agreed to wearing nothing but a diaper for
the next couple of days she just shrugged off my
half-hearted protests and unfurled the crinkly package.
*
As I lay there I
was wondering - Why is she behaving in this way?
We’d agreed that
it was something I might like to try but wetting and
stuff… in a diaper… I wasn’t keen on that at all, and
then it hit me. She’d recently lost her own chance of a
baby, perhaps the miscarriage was affecting her and I
was now some kind of surrogate, someone she was
projecting her unresolved feelings on? In that moment of
comprehension my emotions welled up inside me again and
I hugged my sister. After all she’d been through, still
acting strong and in charge yet perhaps she needed her
own way of coping with things. I was choked at the
thought that if I could help, then I was there for her
no matter what it took.
Without making a
fuss I let her strip off my night time stuff, clean me
up (just as she said she would) but this time, when she
had me lay out on the newly unfurled diaper, she added
some extra pads before taping me tightly into place.
This was a whole new experience and with the plastic
pants now firmly holding it securely she led me down to
breakfast. At this point I have to admit to being more
than a little confused. I wasn’t sure whether I was
doing this for her or for me but the bulky, rustling
diaper arrangement meant I now had a wild noisy waddle
as I negotiated the stairs but even that was funny and
we joked about it.
She’d cut up my
pancakes and, although she’d put juice in a sippy cup, I
stopped short at her suggestion of feeding me. However,
I had noticed that my meal now came in a plastic bowl
with cartoon animals smiling sweetly up at me and a
spoon that echoed the same cheerful motif. She appeared
to have gone to a lot of trouble to make me feel happy
about being ‘little’ and I reluctantly began to
appreciate all her efforts.
*
I was happy to
wander around the house dressed as I was but when she
suggested we go out for the day and enjoy the sunshine
in the park or a walk up in the hills I was a little
less sure. She told me to just pull a pair of shorts
over my diaper and slip on a shirt and I’d be fine. I
wasn’t sure about this at all as I was under no illusion
that people would be able to tell what I was really
wearing under my shorts. Her opinion was simple “Screw
them” no one else mattered but me and, she whispered
conspiratorially in my ear.
“Don’t you think
it would be quite exciting, Little Benjy doing what he
wants for a change?”
Once again,
somehow, what she wanted I agreed to and before too long
I’d tried on several pairs of shorts and jeans to try
and hide the bulkiness, none of which fitted properly. I
was beginning to see the downside to wearing padding and
such thick padding at that. I was about to tell Gwyneth
that I couldn’t find anything but in the end one pair of
baggy shorts (I didn’t much like because they were too
slack) managed to do the job and surprise, surprise,
they were no longer loose.
It was a
wonderful hot day and I was more than pleased to be out
and about not really paying much attention to what I was
wearing. Although I could feel the bulk of it all I
thought that the shorts hid what was underneath pretty
well. We walked up into the hills and hardly saw anyone,
those that did pass by just nodded or said “Hello” and
carried on their way. We found a lovely shady spot where
Gwyneth decided we’d have our picnic. She’d brought
sodas, sandwiches and fruit but I wondered what I’d
brought in the little backpack she’d given me to carry.
She told me all would be revealed eventually but for the
time being we should eat and enjoy the wonderful,
peaceful surroundings.
*
The mass between
my legs had made me waddle as we walked. It felt
peculiar but I was getting a feeling of pleasure knowing
what I was wearing, the problem was the padding and
plastic made me sweat and I could feel moisture pooling
at my crotch. Once we’d sat down Gwyneth saw me trying
to rearrange the diaper and suggested, as it was so hot,
I take off my shorts and shirt to let some sun and air
get to my diaper… as I looked like “…a sweating pig”. It
was true I was soaked and it would be a bit of a relief
so I furtively looked around and saw no one anywhere
near so I did as she suggested. It felt great being
outside in the fresh air in just a diaper. Gwyneth
thought I looked particularly cute and encouraged me run
around and to chase butterflies as she got the picnic
ready.
I was aware that
she was also taking photos with her phone and to be
honest I was acting the big kid just for the camera.
However, I didn’t know just how much I was enjoying
myself until a little while later I noticed a couple
talking with Gwyneth. I froze as I heard these two old
people, both with walking sticks, making small talk
about the weather and the beautiful countryside. They
were looking across at me, waving and I heard them say
that they liked to see a boy enjoying himself.
So engrossed in
my game of ‘chase the bugs’ I hadn’t seen the couple
arrive but their sudden appearance startled me and made
me do something I never thought I’d do - I felt a
nervous spurt of pee escape. It was if my bladder was
shocked by this unexpected visitation and reacted
accordingly. I stood there stunned as they continued to
chat and wave a greeting. Unfortunately, I was too
embarrassed to respond even if no one else appeared to
be. It was too late to hide so I just stood there, like
a statue, about twenty feet away completely immobile and
wishing I was somewhere else.
Gwyneth called
me over as the food was ready and inferred I should come
and say ‘Hello’ but I was just too self-conscious.
Eventually, the couple stopped talking to Gwyneth and
carried on their way. As they passed by they smiled and
said what a lovely day it was before disappearing down
the hill. However, as they spoke, and without warning,
my little spurt turned into a flow and no matter what my
brain was saying to try and stop it, pee filled the
diaper to complete my humiliation. The couple had
obviously seen what I was wearing but there was no
mention of diapers or shiny plastic pants, even though
they were now an even bulkier part of my outfit having
absorbed a great deal of liquid.
*
I waddled over
to Gwyneth who looked at me strangely before I think she
realized what I’d done.
With a knowing
but sympathetic expression she asked. “Do you need a
change?”
I wasn’t sure
whether to admit it but there seemed little point in
denying what had happened so I nodded. She lifted her
hand examining the front of my diaper and said it wasn’t
so bad and that it could wait for a while and we should
eat first. Despite my embarrassment I was starving so
plonked myself down on the blanket and set about the
ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches (covered in mayo) with
relish.
*****
tbc
Part 4
Wearing a wet
diaper wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d thought it would be
and after a while, and despite the bulk, I’d forgotten
that I’d wet them. After we’d eaten we had a game of
‘ISpy’ and a rather interesting competition of cloud
watching; it really is incredible the shapes you can
interpret into actual things. We were coming up with
some silly and clearly outrageous suggestions and this
had us giggling quite a lot. However, after a couple of
hours, and several cans of soda, I was desperate for
another pee.
Gwyneth looked
at me when I said I needed to go because I was searching
for a private spot to do my duty. She just reminded me
that I’d already used my diaper once so it would be
silly not to do so again. I thought I couldn’t do it
deliberately but Gwyneth pounced, rolled on top of me
and began to tickle. Whether I wanted to or not that got
the old pee flowing, and it is to the credit of the
diaper’s absorption powers that nothing trickled out.
*
We lay in the
sun enjoying the final few rays before we returned home.
I wondered if I’d have to squish all the way but my ever
prepared sister opened the little backpack I’d carried,
emptied it out and there were spare disposables, plastic
pants, creams, lotions and of course a supply of wipes
and baby powder. I had no idea that was what I was
carrying but, as she pulled at the tapes off my swollen
diaper I was rather pleased she’d planned ahead. It was
a relief when she removed the soggy thing. It had
expanded to quite a size and again I was amazed that I’d
been wearing that grossly expanded object between my
legs and, perhaps more to the point, it hadn’t concerned
me in the least. As she wiped me clean but before she
applied the creams and powder a light breeze blew
against my naked genitals and sent tiny ripples of bliss
through my body. My penis reacted and grew under her
deft handiwork but she just smiled, pulled the diaper
between my well-powdered groin and quickly taped it into
place; flattening its stiffness against my body and
blocking any further thoughts I might have had regarding
that particular bit of my anatomy.
This time the
plastic pants I stepped into were blue and I was dressed
like that for a few minutes as we packed everything else
away. Gwyneth took more photographs and kept on
reminding me how wonderful and sweet she thought I
looked. In fact, at every opportunity
she kept complementing the way I looked and patting my
padded bottom, which made me chuckle, I liked the
attention. The day had been nothing like any other I
could remember. I couldn’t remember ever doing this with
mom or dad, days out were just something other kids got
to experience with their parents. This was great and
even in diapers, it had been a fantastic day… in fact I
was appreciating even more the incredible efforts my
sister had gone to for me to feel special on my
eighteenth.
*
Back home we sat
and watched TV for a while (her in her summer dress and
me wearing nothing but a diaper and plastic pants),
before she recommended I had a bath before bed - to make
sure, she jokingly said, that there was no residue pee
left secreted in any ‘crevices’.
Normally, I have a shower in the morning and that’s it
but her reasonable suggestion made me think it probably
wasn’t a bad idea so off I went. I shucked off my
diaper, which wasn’t wet, and happily climbed into the
suds. The water was very hot but I could just about
stand it; my sister’s lavender bubble bath I’d ladled in
helped me to fully relax as I let myself soak for quite
some time.
It had been one
hell of a day and as I washed my hair and gently
scrubbed those all-important places I began to feel
‘playful’ again. Wearing a diaper had a major drawback
for a horny eighteen year-old, it restricted (if not
completely prevented) any cock and ball play. A toddler
may not think that way but, now I was out of those
confining things, I intended on having a different kind
of fun. However, just as I was enjoying the gentle
caress of my own soapy hand, Gwyneth walked in with a
towel. I was slightly embarrassed at being caught in
mid-stroke but she just smiled and told me that I’d
wrinkle up if I didn’t get out of the bath. I was hoping
she’d go so I could continue with my efforts but she
just stood there, towel outstretched, waiting for me to
rise from the foam. Reluctantly I climbed out and
Gwyneth proceeded to give me the most thorough drying I
think I’ve ever received; every bit of my body was
methodically rubbed. Unfortunately, she ignored the very
part of me that would have benefitted from such an
enthusiastic massage and I was left more than a little
frustrated.
*
She guided me to
my room and of course her supplies were all laid out
ready for me to be diapered for the night. I really
thought that it would be back to my usual boxers and
t-shirt to sleep in but obviously Gwyneth had other
ideas. I was about to complain, or try and reason with
her at least, but she’d gone to such extraordinary
lengths so far to make me happy I wondered if this was
perhaps another thing I thought I didn’t want but
actually did. Anyway, the upshot was that she carefully
applied lotions and creams, lashings of powder and an
ultra-thick fabric diaper, which was held in place with
two huge pink pins. Once again she slipped up a pair of
clear plastic pants that snugly held it all together
and, just as I thought she’d finished and was about to
crawl into bed, she produced something else, a pair of
footed pjs.
I wasn’t
expecting this and wondered how the hell she’d been able
to get hold of something my size so quickly. The pjs
were blue with cartoon stars and planets all over them
and, as she fed my feet into them, I marvelled at how
soft the fabric was as it touched and caressed my skin.
Soon my arms were encased and she stood me up for the
final action. The zip was at the back and stretched from
hips to neck, which she closed with a flourish. Then we
stood together looking in the mirror and it was an
amazing sight. For a brief second I was stunned at the
reflection; I thought she looked like mom and I was back
to being a toddler, I was even holding her hand and, as
a shiver ran through my body, and despite my size, I
really did feel like I was back to being a little kid.
I was speechless
as Gwyneth gently led me to my bed, pulled back the
covers, where Teddy was lying still dressed in his own
diaper, and urged me in. I was dazed at this strange
‘mirror revelation’, a glimpse of my past that really
shook me and, because I was distracted thinking about
it, wasn’t even aware that she had slipped a babies
bottle full of warm milk between my lips. As she held it
to my mouth, and with my mind elsewhere, I naturally
began to suck and closed my eyes as I rhythmically
downed the entire contents. Later she replaced the
bottle with my paci and left me cuddling Teddy as I
drifted off to sleep after what, one way and another,
had been a pretty eventful day.
*
My dreams were
of Teddy and me and Gwyneth and me, where Gwyneth was
actually my mommy and Teddy was my father… weird. At one
point mommy (Gwyneth) was telling me what a ‘good boy’ I
was because I’d managed to use the potty correctly but
daddy (Teddy) was threatening to spank me if I didn’t
wear my diaper like he was (yes in my dreams Teddy/daddy
was still wearing his diaper). In my dreams I was doing
all I could to please them both and each one was telling
me what a ‘clever baby’ I was being.
I woke up
desperate for a pee. I climbed out of bed and made my
way to the bathroom but once there found I couldn’t
reach the zip on the rear of my footer. I tugged and
tugged but for some reason I just couldn’t budge it, in
the end I had no option but to fill my diaper. I argued
with myself that was what the diaper was for, and
Gwyneth had encouraged me to think of it in that way,
“Just do it” had been her advice, so that’s what I did.
To begin with it was a strange warm sensation, which I
didn’t mind much, luckily the diaper and plastic pants
held it all in and I was able to fall back to sleep
relatively quickly. In the early hours I felt I needed
to go again but this time I made no attempt to get to
the bathroom so lay there and with little effort further
filled my diaper.
When I
eventually did wake up the diaper was thick between my
legs and my plastic pants where a shiny stretched
reminder at just how much I’d drunk the night before.
However, and this fact was a bit of an eye-opener, it
didn’t worry me what I’d done. Just the day before the
very thought had made me recoil in horror but here I was
wearing a fully soaked diaper and not being bothered
about it in the slightest.
*
I got up and
sought out Gwyneth because I needed help getting out of
the footer. She was already downstairs making breakfast
and smiled as I shuffled into the kitchen. Another few
photographs were taken as I asked her to let me out but
she just told me to sit down and have the bacon and eggs
she’d cooked before they got cold, and which had been
cut into bite sized pieces. I waddled to the table (I
was waddling everywhere at that time) sat down and it
was a squelchy diaper that cushioned my bottom. Once
again everything was served in the new little kiddie
bowl and I was given only the matching spoon to use. My
juice was served in a sippy cup and despite any doubts I
may have had I was so famished I happily ate and drank
the lot.
Once my plate
was clean and I’d taken it to be washed Gwyneth led me
back upstairs to be changed. She tweaked the zipper and
it easily came down but I informed her that I was very,
very wet because I couldn’t get to the bathroom to go
properly. She just smiled as I stepped out of my pjs
making small talk about what the plans were for the day
and as if changing an eighteen year-old was the most
natural thing to do. I shucked down my plastic pants and
the fabric beneath was saturated. She asked if I’d
messed as well but I just made an “Uuuurrrghhh” type of
noise to indicate no and she patted my swollen bottom
and unpinned me. How she could be OK with all this
changing business I didn’t know but I suppose, thinking
about what I’d assumed earlier, she was substituting me
for her lost baby… well maybe. I certainly didn’t want
to be the one to spoil whatever fantasy or need she had
at that moment because, well, I was still enjoying
playing this game myself.
*
Gwyneth had been
correct about there being a ‘little’ me somewhere inside
and that the people online and who commented on YouTube
had also noticed it so, I was feeling part of a pretty
cute group. I liked the term ‘little’ and, as my sister
had shown me, dressed in diapers had released me to be
the fun person she suspected I was all along. With her
encouragement being childish was nothing to be ashamed
about and living an enjoyable life as a toddler
certainly beat stacking shelves. However, work was on
the horizon and I wanted to make the most of my time off
before it was back to the grindstone. I’d even begun to
think that perhaps I might be able to wear a diaper or
something similar under my uniform but I was sure the
outline would be obvious as the pants were so tight.
I showered and
Gwyneth once again got me ready for the day. She put a
couple of pads in the disposable and pulled up the clear
plastic pants. She pointed to a mark on the front and
told me that, if I wet them, then the mark would change
colour and she could check without me saying anything if
I needed changing. Then she pulled out a new yellow
t-shirt with tiny toy rocking horses all over them and
slipped it over my head. Although I did a sort of
double-take because it looked so childish she then
produced a matching pair of shorts which she quickly fed
my legs into and pulled up to my waist. Again that
feeling of just being a little kid with mommy dressing
me coursed through my body and I stood transfixed by my
new outfit. Although I was eighteen I wasn’t a large
teenager, in fact, Gwyneth was a good two inches taller
than me and looked much bigger. However, I didn’t get
chance to be pleased or complain because Gwyneth was
guiding my crinkling butt down the stairs and out to the
car.
*
I had no idea
where we were going but Gwyneth was telling me about
some of the online comments she had read. According to
her, loads of them had said that it was best to make the
‘little one’ happy and comfortable in clothes that were
soft, colourful and reminded them of when they were a
toddler. Toys and colouring books were also an important
aspect to all this so that’s where we were going now, to
a mall that had a huge toy store.
For every reason
I put up not to go (especially dressed as I was) she had
a comment that said the opposite. There was no doubt
that the bulky diaper I was sitting on was a constant
reminder of what I liked and perhaps surprisingly I
found the hugging of my hips and groin very pleasing.
However, although I quite liked it I thought my little
yellow outfit was maybe going too far to be seen in
public. Gwyneth said I shouldn’t worry, everything would
be alright and was convinced no one would say a thing. I
doubted that and remained silent for the rest of the
journey.
*
In the silence I
began to think. How come she had a footer my size? How
come she had this outfit ready? How come she had a paci,
bowl, diapers and plastic…? Just as my suspicions were
growing I suddenly got a pain in my stomach. I groaned
and Gwyneth asked me what was wrong. I tried to tell her
about the pain but almost instantaneously my guts
started to churn. I begged Gwyneth to pull over as I
needed to go to the bathroom but she said there wasn’t
one nearby. She said that I should just pee in the
diaper but I moaned I thought it might be more than
that.
“OK, just hold
on we’re not far away.” She said with concern etched on
her face.
Unfortunately,
the turmoil in my stomach wasn’t open to any constraints
from me and I couldn’t hold back. With a loud wet fart
the contents of my bowel erupted into my diaper and I
was crying in humiliation and disgust as wave after wave
of poop exited my bottom. The smell in the car was awful
and Gwyneth had to roll down the window to get us both
some air. I sat in my own rapidly filling diaper stunned
at what was happening. As soon as my
guts exploded the pain had instantly gone but I was
mortified by the strange and disgusting feeling in my
pants… my emotions took over and there were more tears.
A couple of
minutes later and we arrived at the mall but I thought
in my state I just couldn’t leave the car. However, she
insisted that I couldn’t just sit in the mess and that I
wasn’t to worry she’d have me cleaned up in no time. She
grabbed my hand and led me crying and gingerly waddling
towards Toys’r’Us, which was the first store in the mall
nearest to where we parked. There were a few kids
already looking at toys with their parents but Gwyneth
led me straight to the baby changing area.
It was empty
when we went in and although I was crying and
embarrassed I let her take charge. My little shorts were
pulled off, which thankfully were still clean, she then
tentatively shimmied the plastic pants down to reveal my
bloated and discoloured disposable. Mercifully, the
extra padding had absorbed most of the liquid but I was
still a mess. She quickly stripped me out of it all and,
with barely any acknowledgement to the smell, set about
cleaning me up. I hadn’t noticed the large bag she was
carrying but as she lay me out on one of the counters,
she opened it up to reveal a host of stuff she’d need to
fix me. First she used toilet paper and then going over
to the sink soaped up a cloth she’d brought and began to
wipe away the debris. I was still sniffling when someone
else came in. A woman with a baby took one look at me,
looked pityingly at Gwyneth and then set about changing
her own child. My clean-up took quite some time and
during that period I lay there motionless,
self-conscious and desperate not to make eye contact
with any of the other patrons using the facilities.
*
A lady with a
boy aged about ten came in, found the empty table next
to mine and stripped her son out of his shortalls by
simply popping some studs at his crotch, laying him out
and then popping the studs on his cute cartoon plastic
pants, which instantly gave her easy access to his
soaked diaper. Gwyneth watched how easily it all
appeared and asked the lady where she had bought her
boy’s shortalls. After a brief discussion about their
usefulness and hardwearing properties (“Just the thing
for an active boy”) she made a note of the name she’d
been given, thanked her and resumed my re-diapering. The
young boy and I were finished together. Gwyneth pulled
up my yellow shorts as his mother finished pressing the
last few poppers back together. He
bashfully smiled at me as his mum picked him up, patted
his freshly padded bottom and they set off to finish
their shopping… and quite unexpectedly I cautiously
waved back.
The young boy’s
attitude to being changed in public had stopped me
blubbing as he seemed untroubled by the process. That
sweet little smile had really got to me and I wished we
could play together. I was no longer thinking of our age
difference only what we had in common and we both wore
diapers and had accidents in them. It was a revelation
and suddenly I didn’t feel so self-conscious.
*
Once Gwyneth had
packed all her stuff away, and before we left the
bathroom, she asked if I was OK. Now I was clean, dry
and wearing my thick ‘protection’ (now I knew what
Gwyneth had meant by that term) I was comfortable and
quite happy to continue.
“Good,” she said
as she patted my freshly padded bottom and we entered
the main part of the store.
The array of
toys was spellbinding. Mom and dad had never been keen
on my playing with such childish things and because
Gwyneth, even as a youngster, preferred to read, I
wasn’t encouraged or given many toys to play with. As we
toured the aisles I was spoilt for choice, I just didn’t
know what to get for the best. Over in the kids play
area right next to the store I saw the young boy from
earlier running around with some younger kids sliding
into the ball pit, running on the rope bridge and
playing on the JungleGym. He noticed me and waved again
and it was the first time I noticed that his diaper was
really quite obvious and thick. However, he seemed
unconcerned as he smiled, whooped with pleasure and
chased some other kids into another part of the
‘playzone’.
*
Sitting on the
floor in front of a plastic toy garage was another guy,
perhaps a few years older than me, seeing how the
wind-up lift worked that took the toy cars to the top to
let them zigzag down again. He was wearing denim shorts
but because he was bent over there was no hiding the top
of his diaper from showing above the waistband. As I
walked past he looked up and smiled, whilst running one
of the four vehicles scattered around him along the
ground and making car noises.
“That looks
fun,” I said and he invited me to join him on the floor.
He was a lot
older than his clothes would have suggested; he had a
huge cartoon character on the front of his sweatshirt
and his socks also had the same image festooned all over
them. His sneakers had lights in the heel which flashed
as he walked and he spoke, well, like a toddler. He was
both shy and enthusiastic to have someone to play with
but then I saw an older man approach who asked him if
he’d made a friend.
Gwyneth and the
man got talking as we played together and inspected all
the secrets that the garage contained. I didn’t hear
what they were saying because my new friend grabbed my
hand and took me to another aisle to look at the latest
huge toy castle that he said his ‘dada’ was going to buy
him. His voice was soft, as if he didn’t want anyone to
notice him, but he was enthusiastic as he explained all
the fantastic things the castle contained and all the
dragons, monsters and soldiers you could get to do
battle. He seemed so excited but then his ‘dada’ called
him and he went rushing off to hold his hand. Even
though he was older than me he acted like a little kid;
shyly holding his ‘dada’s’ hand and swinging a foot
whilst he waited for him to stop chatting with Gwyneth.
I have to admit, knowing he was wearing a diaper like me
was heart-warming, he looked so sweet and just as at
ease as the ten year-old boy had been. I sat where I was
inspecting the massive plastic castle with all its
turrets and towers and wondered if I should get one.
He’d fired my imagination and I liked the idea of
dragons and knights and fantastic mythical encounters. A
few moments later Gwyneth called me but I hadn’t made up
my mind.
We spent a good
couple of hours looking at everything but I really
wished I could play in the kids Playzone with all the
other children as it looked fun. However, I realised
that it just wasn’t built for someone my size and I’d
just have to watch. After the two encounters with other
‘older’ diaper wearers, now I was all clean and tidy
myself I never gave what I was wearing much thought and
it was only the knowing smile from an adult, or a
gawping look from a toddler that occasionally made me
hesitate. However, I had work to do and
decisions to make and they didn’t come easily. In the
end I settled on some cars, a large truck and loads of
little figures and colouring books from the latest Pixar
movie.
*****
Tbc
Part 5
As we drove
back, after having had lunch at the food court (I had
pieces of chicken shaped like dinosaurs and a strawberry
shake) where hardly anyone batted an eyelid, I was so
excited about getting to play with my new toys. Don’t
get me wrong, I had played with toys in the past but not
often so this was like a whole new beginning. When I’d
helped run the crèche at the work’s charity day I think
I was as happy fooling around with the toys as I was
getting involved in the kid’s games. In fact, now I
thought about it that was the absolute best time I’d
ever had at the store.
We arrived back
home early afternoon and I was desperate to try out all
my new things but Gwyneth took me upstairs, checked to
see I hadn’t wet myself in all the excitement and
insisted I settle down for a nap first. I was shocked at
such a suggestion and told her that I didn’t need one.
Again she insisted and I started whining that I wasn’t
tired and that I shouldn’t have to go to bed in the
afternoon as I wasn’t a baby. However, as I whined and
said “No” she pulled off my t-shirt, yanked down my
shorts and guided my diapered bottom toward the bed and
Teddy.
I no longer felt
like an eighteen year-old. My birthday, only a few of
days earlier, had been the date when I was finally
regarded in most people’s eyes as no longer a child but
a man… and yet. Gwyneth had been very rigorous in not
allowing any discussion on the matter and just getting
on and doing things for me. I may have felt like I was
having an opinion but, in just this short space of time,
I’d become a kid again. Not only that, I think I was
enjoying not having to make decisions or have any
responsibilities. I relished wearing diapers. I loved
Teddy. I delighted in all the fun and games my sister
organised and she was very good at making all this work
for me.
“OK, you’ve had
a very exciting day but let’s just calm down a little
bit… there’s no need to do everything at once,” she said
reasonably. “Just rest your eyes for a few minutes and,
if you’re still awake when I come back after I’ve
finished what I need to do, you can get up.”
It didn’t seem
an unfair request and I don’t think it helped my case
that I yawned the moment she had me stripped to my
diaper. Teddy was still dressed the same and his cuddly
arms were beckoning me to join him so, albeit
reluctantly, I did just that. I was sure I’d be awake
when Gwyneth returned but she patted my diapered bottom,
pulled up the loose cover and stroked my hair for a
couple of minutes. As I settled down and
yawned once more she said that there was one last thing
and slipped the paci between my lips. I was suddenly too
tired to argue and without so much as a token protest I
soothed myself as I dozed off.
*
I was in a
jungle. There were noises of wild creatures everywhere.
I was a little bit scared because I heard a rustling
behind me. It was the boy from the changing room,
dressed in just his cartoon plastic pants and diaper and
it was those that were making the noise. He came and
stood by my side and we could hear the heavy clomping
footsteps of some huge wild animal; it was a chicken
dinosaur like I’d had for lunch except this one had real
teeth. Both my new friend and I quaked as it drew near
and we decided we’d better run for it. At the same time
a tribe of about twenty other kids, some of which were
toddlers came running from the undergrowth to join us.
We set off
screaming and running. The noise from our collective
crinkling and rustling protection sending the wildlife
scattering, as we tried to escape the
monster that was drawing ever near. We could almost feel
its chicken breath on our necks as we powered through
the jungle vines. Monkey’s shrieked and fled, snakes
looked quizzically, while lions roared as we squealed
our way searching for safety. One of the toddlers
appeared to know the right direction so led the way. She
hacked at the undergrowth and scared away any animal
that crossed her path. The rest of us followed, trying
to keep up as she shooed a tiger out of the way.
My new friend
and I were at the back and we could sense the dinosaur
licking its lips in anticipation of having us for a
meal. I could feel its teeth brush my head. There it was
again, its teeth grazing the top of my head. I was
scared but my friend had made some ground in front of
me, his colourful waddling plastic covered bottom acting
as my guide. “Run, run, run.” I was calling as I thought
I was about to be eaten alive.
I was trying
to duck out of the way of those ferocious teeth but
something flew into my mouth. I was sure I’d just
swallowed a huge bug but… but…mmmmm... that tastes nice.
*
I slowly came
around to find myself sucking on another baby bottle
full of some sort of milky formula; it was warm, sweet
and tasted nice. When my eyes eventually focused Gwyneth
was there holding the bottle and wiping my hair and
sweat from my eyes. Neither of us said anything until
I’d completely slurped the wonderful drink down. She was
smiling and murmuring some kind of tune as if to comfort
me, it worked. I looked at the clock and noticed I’d
actually been asleep for over ninety minutes, so much
for not being tired. Once I’d finished the bottle
Gwyneth checked my diaper. She could see the coloured
indicator through the clear plastic and knew that I was
more than a little damp. I had wet myself once again
without being aware of it. In my head I put it down to
the scare in the jungle and as Gwyneth set about the
change I told her what I remembered of my dream.
She asked me if
I’d liked the cartoon plastic pants with poppers that my
young friend was wearing and when I gushed more than I
should she said that perhaps we should get some for me.
I told her about the girl, who was about four or five
years-old, who was leading us to safety. She was wearing
a short little dress but her thick diaper was clearly
visible as she startled all the animals. Her ruffled
pink bottom stood out against the green and darkness of
the jungle. Again Gwyneth asked if I liked her ruffled
panties and, as she sprinkled powder over my groin, I
nodded. It was such a clear dream and I was surprised
all the elements that had gone into it contained some of
my experiences of the day.
*
I was so intent
on telling her about my dream that I hardly noticed I’d
been changed. It was amazing how easily I had slipped
into this routine such had it so quickly become so much
part of my day. Once the blue plastic pants were in
place Gwyneth seemed happy that I was now ready to play
with my new things. I grabbed Teddy and carried him
downstairs and we unpacked all the new toys together. He
liked the big truck best, so we spent the time making
truck noises and building an imaginary road around the
house for it to travel on. All the cartoon figures could
fit into its back so they were getting transported as
well. Teddy had a terrific imagination.
Wearing just
‘protection’ around Gwyneth’s house had become second
nature so Teddy and me playing with the toys and
crawling around the floor in a thick, comfortable diaper
was like being in my own ‘kidzone’. I think I’d have
liked some friends to come and join me, any of those
from my dream would have been most welcome but for the
moment, well, Teddy and my sister would have to make up
my playmates. In fact, so immersed were we in our
‘trucking’ game that before we knew it we were being
called for our evening meal, cheesy macaroni.
After din-dins
(Gwyneth called it that) I sat and coloured in a couple
of pages in one of the books we’d bought at the store.
This was another thing I’d never done before, well not
since I was a kid. Strangely enough, I wanted to do a
good job to show to Gwyneth in the hope of her being
proud of what I’d achieved. There were numbers as a
guide but I tried to do it without their help and I
thought I’d done pretty well. Whilst I was doing that
Gwyneth sat opposite me on her computer, I don’t know if
she was writing stuff or uploading things onto Facebook
or YouTube but I asked her if any of the comments had
been from people who wanted to be friends, perhaps even
someone who lived relatively close. She said she’d check
it out and seemed pleased that I wanted to play with
fellow diaper wearing ‘kids’.
*
She told me that
the man at the mall, the man who was ‘dada’ to Little
Pauly (I never asked his name) was open to the idea that
we could have a play date, if I ever wanted one. She’d
got his number and asked if she could arrange it would
I’d like to do that.
Of course I
enthusiastically replied. “Yes please.”
“OK, I’ll see
what I can do,” she held my hand, “I think you’re ready
for the next step.”
I wasn’t sure
what step she was referring to but I liked the idea of
having a playdate. I carried on colouring in my book
until Gwyneth said it was time for bed. I had no idea
what time it was but I said I wasn’t tired and started
to whine about having to go to bed. Only days ago I
chose when I went to bed and now, I was told. However,
the look Gwyneth gave me when I started to moan told me
to watch out and besides, as she reminded me. “Do you
want a play date or not?”
From the tone of
her voice I knew it was in jeopardy so sheepishly
nodded. “Then you go to bed when I tell you to. No
arguments or I just won’t organize it for you.”
I could tell she
meant it and stuck my bottom lip out in a spot of
sulkiness but she seemed even more determined, “Bed
NOW.” So that was the end of any discussion.
A few minutes
later she followed me up to my room and made me put on
my footer pjs again. I was going to complain about them
restricting my ability to go to the bathroom but I
thought better of it. Once I was settled down she
slipped a rubber teat between my lips and I got another
taste of warm milk, she seemed happy to make small talk
about the day as I sucked the bottle empty. She talked
about all the kids we’d seen and what they’d been
wearing. What outfits she thought I’d look cute in and
how nice it will be when I had my first friend to play
with. I just nodded as I sucked and
as soon as I was finished she slipped in the paci and
told me to go to sleep. I looked over at the clock and
it was only 7.30 but, I was in bed, my diaper was dry, I
was comfortable, I’d just had a warm drink so there was
little else worth staying up for. It was the first night
I slept without Teddy sharing my bed but the footer was
very fleecy so I just hugged myself to sleep.
*
I woke up soaked
and a little messy. I wasn’t aware of the mess to begin
with but, as I began to move around the bed and get
myself up, I realised that there was something more in
my diaper. It didn’t feel all liquidy like it had when
my bowel exploded the day before but I wasn’t happy
sharing my diaper with it. I warily waddled down to the
kitchen to get Gwyneth’s help out of my footer and
hopefully a change but she was on the phone and there
was a bowl of cereal on the table. As she spoke she
indicated that I should sit down and have breakfast but
I really didn’t want to in the state I was in. I stood
at the door waiting for her to finish but she
impatiently came over, grabbed my arm and marched me
over to my chair and forced me to sit down.
She poured milk
into my bowl, and, as she continued her discussion, I
think with her literary agent, indicated I should eat.
Unenthusiastically, I lifted the first spoonful but I
was all too aware of the mushiness that I now sat in.
She was still on the phone, typing into her laptop and
drinking coffee when I’d finished. I sat quietly
wondering what she found to talk about; had she heard
from our parents, perhaps spoken to Little Pauly’s dada?
She obviously didn’t want me hanging around so shooed me
from the table to go and play in the room or sit and
watch TV. I didn’t feel I could sit on the sofa in my
current condition so lay on my stomach watching the TV
which was already tuned to a cartoon channel. I didn’t
mind, I’ve always liked cartoons so I quickly got into
what was going on.
*
A little while
later Gwyneth called me into the kitchen. Finally, I
thought, I can get out of this messy diaper and…
“Oh, erm, hello
mommy, er, mom.”
There, Skyped on
the laptop screen, was mother looking as elegant as ever
and smiling.
“Happy Birthday
sweetheart.” She beamed, whilst I felt more than a
little uptight about still wearing my pjs.
“Er… thanks
mom…” Even though she was several days late I didn’t
feel able to take the moral high ground as I was sitting
in my own poop.
“Your father and
I are thinking of you sweetheart and only sorry we can’t
be there to celebrate this special day with you.”
“Oh well, you’re
very busy… “ I felt guilty myself because I couldn’t
even remember which country she was in, although it
looked like she was dressed for a party or something.
“I’m sure your
sister will make it a memorable occasion for you?” I
nodded wondering what she knew.
The large image
of mom filled the screen but there was a littler square
in the corner containing me. I wondered if she could
tell I was wearing kiddie pjs and had a diaper on
underneath but my thoughts were interrupted as she
brought me back to her.
“OK sweetheart,
I have to go as the car has arrived. I’m afraid it will
be a couple more weeks before I can get home but Gwyneth
will tell you all about that.”
I could hear a
voice calling her in the distance. “Happy Birthday again
darling, see you soon.”
“Bye mom I…” but
the screen went blank and the link died.
I wanted her to
tell me why she wasn’t coming home for a while. I wanted
to speak longer but the fact that we had spoken filled
me with emotion. I’m not sure if it was resentment or
what but I felt myself choke up and tears form in my
eyes.
*
Gwyneth came
over to comfort me and while I cried into her shoulder
she stroked my hair and said that it was “Better late
than never.” I suppose she was right but I wish mom, and
dad I suppose, had a little bit more time for me and
hadn’t forgotten my birthday.
Once I was cried
out I told Gwyneth that I was pretty messy and needed a
change. She sniffed the air and said she wondered what
that odour was, so took my hand and led me upstairs. In
the bathroom she helped me out of my footer and checked
that my protection had held. It had. She pulled down the
plastic pants and saw my poopy problem, so slowly, and
with a great deal of care, eased the diaper down making
sure the mess stayed in the diaper. Once I was able to
step out of it she walked me over to the shower and
turned it on. She took the hand shower attachment and
sprayed me down with warm water. Once the ‘wreckage’ was
clear she then said she needed to make sure I was the
“cleanest little boy in the world” (I think she was
joking and making a little game out of my embarrassment)
but now I was clean I was a little more relaxed.
She grabbed a
new body gel out of the cabinet, put on a pair of
plastic gloves and spread it all over my body. I wasn’t
sure why she needed gloves but after a couple of minutes
it started to tingle. She left my body soapy whilst she
started shampooing my hair with a different brand. I had
to close my eyes because the bubbles were causing them
to sting. Shortly after that Gwyneth got hold of a
cloth, I still had my eyes closed, but felt her wipe off
all the stuff from around my body, especially around my
cock and bum hole. Once she was happy all that had been
removed I was able to stand under the hot shower and
rinse away the shampoo.
I climbed out
and Gwyneth was waiting with a huge towel to buff me dry
and, although the tingling had eased off, I wondered
what the new body wash contained to have such an effect.
As usual she dried me thoroughly and guided me to my
room and lay me out on my bed. It was only when she
started applying some very greasy lotion to my entire
body I noticed that I no longer had any hair on my body.
The few wisps of pubic hair I once had were now gone, so
were the fine hairs on my arms and legs and I suddenly
panicked that the hair on my head might have also
disappeared. I nervously ran my hand over my scalp and
was relieved that was still intact.
*
As Gwyneth made
sure every part of my body (and I do mean every part and
crevice) got a thorough coating I lay there waiting for
an explanation. None was forthcoming and, as I wasn’t
sure how to bring the subject up, or what I planned on
saying, she simply got on with my re-diapering. The
padding was once again thick, the plastic pants were
pulled up and tucked around the leg so the diaper was
contained and then she pulled another new pale blue
shirt over my head. This one had the outline of a duck
being followed by three baby ducklings across the front,
it was cute. She then produced a very short pair of
white shiny nylon shorts, which she shimmied up and over
my padding before adding a pair of pale blue socks with
little ruffles around the top.
She brushed my
hair and once satisfied had me step in front of the
mirror. There was no doubt about it I looked more like I
was eighteen months rather than eighteen years-old. That
strange feeling enveloped me once more and I wasn’t sure
if I liked or was horrified by my reflection. The
problem I now had was that I didn’t have a choice,
Gwyneth had made all the decisions and, as she stroked
my hair, told me what a smart and cute looking boy I
was, I felt like I was indeed nothing more than a child…
her child.
******
tbc
Part 6
Gwyneth
filled me in on what mom and dad were up to. Mom was
receiving a very prestigious award, which was why she
looked so elegant, and as a result she had to extend her
lecture tour for an extra couple of weeks. Dad was still
in Seoul working with the Korean’s on the firm’s latest
development and that had also been extended. Once mom’s
tour was over she was going to join dad in Korea for a
little while before returning home. Gwyneth thought dad
would be away for even longer than anticipated as
progress had been slow at the new overseas suppliers.
“Well Benjy, it
looks like you’re going to be with me for some time…
hope you don’t mind?” She ruffled my hair and kissed the
top of my head.
Meanwhile, I sat
and listened to her fill me in on all the news but just
wished mom had told it all to me instead of hearing it
second hand. I was a still a bit angry at mom rushing
here, there and everywhere for everyone else… but not
me… and every time I thought about it my chest heaved
and I was on the verge of tears.
I know not being
clever disappointed everyone but I often felt that I
didn’t matter that much to my parents, even though I
tried not to be… stupid. However, I
was also very aware of my little shorts and no matter
how I sat (or stood) my diaper could be seen both at the
leg holes and above the waistband. I’m sure mom and dad
would both have thought I was being just that… stupid…
if they could see me now. Despite Gwyneth choosing this
very childish set of clothes I couldn’t be angry with
her because… at least she was here for me… looking after
me… helping me… and giving me what I needed. I burst
into tears again but this time in gratitude and hugged
my sister tightly.
*
I truly loved
the dressing up games that Gwyneth had arranged. I loved
the diapers more than I ever thought I would but I knew
it couldn’t go on this way, least of all because I was
due back at work in the morning. I wasn’t particularly
looking forward to returning to a life of stacking
shelves and cleaning up the car park but that was my
job. It felt really weird sitting there dressed as I was
and thinking of grown up stuff like work and I wriggled
in the comfort of my thick protection wondering if I
could get away with wearing it under my green uniform.
Returning to
work had never been mentioned but after playing with my
truck for a little while I thought I’d better bring up
the subject. Gwyneth was deep in thought and fervently
typing into her laptop. I wasn’t sure if I should
disturb her when she was in her creative zone but I
needed her to know. I anxiously hung around the kitchen
door waiting for a suitable break so I could ask my
question. She looked up.
“God, you do
look so damned adorable,” and she beckoned me over,
“what does my little Benjy want?”
Oddly enough I
hadn’t planned on exactly what to say so when she put
her arm around my shoulders and looked into my eyes I
was still looking for the right words. I could see she
was waiting so I first asked if she had found her story
yet.
She let me go,
turned to the screen and said. “Yes, I think I’ve got
some ideas.” She then patted my bum. “I think you are
helping in such a terrific way.” She didn’t say in what
way. “I like you being here. I like having my little
brother around. I like… well… I like your innocent and
uncomplicated approach to life.”
This wasn’t what
I was expecting and it threw me a little. I was living a
life she had seen for me, a life she controlled and
directed, a life, yes, I had to admit, I was enjoying. I
loved being ‘little’ and I loved the fact that my big
sister wanted me to be happy and have no fears about…
well… anything.
*
Eventually I
plucked up the courage to ask her. “Will all this finish
tomorrow when I have to go to work?”
Standing in
front of Gwyneth, looking like a toddler, I bet she
could hardly believe her little brother even had a job
but I needed to know.
There was a
moments silence before she answered. “Do you want it
to?”
I could feel the
comfort of my diaper hugging me tightly, the plastic
pants gripping my legs, the sweet little shirt with the
duckies on and my tiny little shorts all screaming the
same answer at me.
“NO”.
What I really
said was, “I don’t know. I have to work. I have to prove
to mom and dad I’m not entirely useless I have to…”
She gently
pulled me into her bosom and whilst one hand hugged and
stroked my padded bottom the other the other stroked my
hair. It was a lovely soft embrace and I could feel her
love and understanding as she soothed my sudden and
unexpected tears.
I felt unable to
cope. I didn’t want to have to make decisions; I didn’t
ever want to make decisions again. I liked it just where
I was. I liked living with Gwyneth more than at home
where I hardly had anyone to speak with and spent my
time watching TV and going to work (more to break the
boredom than anything else). My parents hardly ever
chatted or encouraged me about anything much and was
left to my own devices in that big house.
*
This ‘little’ me
was fun; I wasn’t when at home. This ‘little’ me had
imagination; I appeared to have none when my parents
were around. This ‘little’ me could have friends; and
that’s what I wanted more than anything else. I wanted
my childhood back and the chance to find those happy
times all over again. Gwyneth had given me this
opportunity, had identified clearly something I desired
and offered it with no strings attached.
Without saying
anything, I just knew that Gwyneth understood this and
in her gentle embrace I also knew that was exactly what
she wanted for me. Strip me down and start again. She
may have been surprised at the speed I took to it all
but perhaps that was down to the desperate need I felt.
“Benjy, I think
you should have what you want,” she paused as my tears
turned into hiccups and she patted my back, “and what
you need right now is to be ‘little’… because… you are a
sweet and completely different boy when you are… and I
love it… and love you.”
My tears
eventually dried up but Gwyneth still held me tenderly.
I didn’t want to break away but I still didn’t have an
answer.
“Can I please
stay in my diapers with you and Teddy?” In my head it
was a strong question but it came out as a childish,
unsure whisper.
Gwyneth smiled.
“I think that would be for the best. Don’t you worry
about anything I’ll sort it out with the store manager.
Your job now is to be a little boy who’s out to have fun
and be happy.”
A shiver of
relief and excitement ran through my body and I hugged
my wonderful big sister even more fervently.
*
Gwyneth called
me and said we were going out. Teddy and I had been
having battles with our little cartoon characters which
featured imaginary dinosaurs and dragons… I wondered if
Gwyneth would get me some.
“Where are we
going?” I asked as I eagerly rushed to my sister’s side
as she grabbed her bag and car keys.
“I don’t want
you to stay inside on such a lovely day so we’re off to
the park.”
Although I was
keen to go out myself I realised that the nearby park
may well have people I know enjoying the sunshine and
wondered what they might think of the way I was dressed.
I’d gotten used to it now but thought my diaper would
act like a beacon to anyone who wanted to mock or
generally be unkind. Again any thoughts and doubts I may
have had were demolished as Gwyneth grabbed my hand and
led me out to the car. I didn’t want her to think I was
scared of the consequences but I was.
I should have
known my sister wouldn’t have put me in a situation to
embarrass me as we drove for quite some time before we
ended up at a park I’d never been to before. Once she’d
parked up we got out and she opened the trunk to reveal
that she had brought a picnic and in amongst the basket,
blanket and chairs were a few of my toys and a ball.
This was a terrific surprise and I smiled and helped her
carry all the stuff towards a little picnic area where
another man and boy were already sitting.
*
As we got closer
I realised that it was actually Little Pauly and his
dada. Pauly was wearing a huge monkey face on his white
t-shirt and his little red shorts had monkeys climbing
all around, all this was set of by bright red plastic
sandals, which I thought looked fantastic and wanted a
pair. Gwyneth and ‘dada’ greeted each other with air
kisses and I was formally introduced to him.
“This is my
little brother Benjy,” I shyly nodded at the man, “This
is Pauly’s dada Mr Peak.”
“Erm, er, hello
sir,” was all I could say as he smiled at me and let go
of Pauly’s hand.
“I think we
should let the little ones go and play… don’t you?” Mr
Peak said to Gwyneth who nodded in agreement.
With that Pauly
grabbed my hand and led me towards a little sandpit near
the swings. He’d already started building a sandcastle
and his bucket, spade, flags, toys and an assortment of
other colourful shapes lay around.
His little voice
encouraged me to start to build my own castle and it
wasn’t long before I’d got the start of a huge complex
going and Pauly was organising a road between the two
buildings. Like me, every time he moved his protection
could be seen. Like mine, his shorts were very short and
the pink plastic protection he wore to hold up his
diaper was thick and shiny and once again I thought they
looked fantastic and wanted some.
*
We were getting
on really well. We giggled a lot as the entire sandpit
became our kingdom where we were building villages and
stuff everywhere. He’d even brought a couple of plastic
dragons (I assumed from the castle he’d bought at the
toys store) and it was brilliant as we got carried away
and let our imaginations run wild.
We were called
to eat and I noticed that dada spoon fed Pauly all his
food. In between every fifth spoonful he held up the
sippy cup for him to drink but, even with his Winnie The
Pooh bib in place, he was a messy eater. His dada was
continually wiping his face of sauce or crumbs but Pauly
was enjoying the picnic and none of this bothered him at
all.
We appeared to
be the only people in the park and after we’d eaten we
sat in the shade under a tree. Dada hugged Pauly and
gently rocked him as he fell asleep for an afternoon nap
but I was wide awake. I wanted to carry on playing on
the swing or in the sandpit but Gwyneth said to I had to
rest and I didn’t think I could defy her so, nestling in
her arms I sat quietly and before long had dozed of
myself.
*
I woke up to see
Pauly in the middle of being changed. Right in front of
both Gwyneth and me his dada had pulled down his shorts,
unpopped his plastic pants and removed his soggy diaper.
Like me Pauly had no hair down there, but there was a
little piece of plastic locked around his pee-pee. I
wasn’t sure what that was for but I suppose it kept
everything neat and tidy. All through the process Pauly
was sucking on a red pacifier that looked like it had a
huge smile on it. That looked funny and I giggled as
Gwyneth checked my diaper.
I was soaked
without being aware of it so Gwyneth laid me side by
side with Pauly and began my change. Being naked in the
sun was a nice feeling but I wasn’t sure I wanted an
audience. However, I remembered the young boy at the
mall and he had no worries about being changed in
public, so I tried not to let it bother me. Gwyneth
popped in my paci as she wiped and powdered me and
within seconds I was wrapped in a new diaper with extra
padding (I had wet a lot) and once the plastic pants had
been pulled into place we boys were left to play on the
blanket for a bit.
However, Pauly
wanted to get back to our castles and he wandered over
wearing no shorts. His dada sort of shrugged and
continued his conversation with Gwyneth and I was
allowed to join him. Wearing just our padding was
revealing but neither of the adults seemed to care.
Gwyneth thought the plastic pants should be enough
protection from our diapers getting full of sand, so
pretty soon we were left to play on our own whilst the
adults did whatever it was that adults do. We were so
into our game we didn’t even notice them.
*
We’d played for
hours; swinging on the swings, building in the sandpit,
chasing each other, kicking a ball about and we were
both hot, sweaty and tuckered out when told it was home
time. Pauly collected all his toys then together we
jumped on our creations pretending we were giants in a
mad, fun rampage of destruction that had us both roaring
and laughing in equal measure.
Once our castles
had been reduced back to sand Pauly rushed to his dada
who checked him once more before being satisfied he was
dry enough to travel. He helped him back into his monkey
shorts and then, hand in hand, said their goodbyes and
headed for their car. Gwyneth hugged me and asked if I’d
had a fun day and I had to admit it had been super, in
fact it had been super fabulous. Before I put on my
shorts Gwyneth checked me but I was still dry. She tried
to pull up my shorts but with all the extra padding that
proved difficult so I was driven home wearing just my
bulky protection. Every time we passed a truck I
wondered if the driver could see into our car and know
what I had on… and if he did, what he thought.
*
Once home I
hugged Teddy and apologised for not taking him with us.
He was still dressed the same as me so we just slipped
back into our game where we left off. Meanwhile, Gwyneth
had opened her laptop and was typing furiously. I was
hoping that she had been inspired by our day out.
However, time just flew by and before long she said it
was time to have a bath and get ready for bed.
Whilst she
bathed me we talked about the day and I said how much
I’d enjoyed it. I told her how much I liked Pauly’s
clothes, especially his red plastic sandals… and his
monkeys… and his pink plastic pants… in fact everything.
She asked if I’d noticed the little plastic thing on his
pee-pee. I nodded so she asked if I knew what it was. I
shook my head.
“Well, er, it’s
there to stop him from, er, getting over excited.” I
looked blankly up at her. “It prevents him from
getting…” She was finding it difficult to find the words
but in the end blurted out, “getting hard.”
I looked
surprised.
“His dada
doesn’t like him to be anything but a toddler and
doesn’t want him to have to worry about… grown up
things…” she carried on explaining.
I think this
must have been all part of the deep conversations they
were having whilst we went off and played.
“Is it something
you’d like?” I wasn’t sure if she was hopeful or
wondering and to be truthful I wasn’t sure either, so I
just shrugged and went back to playing with my toy
boats.
*
After the bath
Gwyneth diapered me up and pulled on my plastic pants.
She was about to fit me into my footer when I told her I
was too hot and pointed to Teddy, who was back sitting
on my bed, and asked if I could I sleep like he was.
Gwyneth seemed happy with this arrangement and gave me a
bottle of strawberry milk to drink to help me sleep. She
stayed with me until I’d sucked down the lot, chatting
away about this and that and just before I was left to
go to sleep she told me that her latest story was coming
along nicely and she’d already written the dedication at
the front. She said she had two and I had to decide
which I liked best.
THANKS TO MY BROTHER BENJAMIN FOR HIS INSPIRATION
Or
THANKS TO MY LITTLE BROTHER BENJY FOR HIS CONSTANT
INSPIRATION
I thought for a
moment and then said, “The second.”
I fell asleep
happy and proud. It was only 7.15 on my bedside clock
but I was out like a light it had been such a hectic
day.
*******
tbc
Part 7
With no job
to worry about I slept right through until Gwyneth came
in to wake me. Unfortunately my diaper couldn’t have
been any wetter and had leaked slightly, the plastic
pants not quite doing their function of containing all
the moisture. There was a little pool of dampness on my
bottom sheet and I was worried that I would be punished
for making more washing. My initial thought was that I
might get a spanking for wetting the bed. However,
Gwyneth just raised her eyebrows and said that there was
no harm done because she’d thought ahead and put a
rubber sheet to protect the mattress “Just in case”. Why
I should have thought I might get spanked I’m not too
sure because getting disciplined wasn’t something that
had ever happened before. Well, except for once, when
I’d done something that had infuriated dad and he
couldn’t contain his anger.
I was seven
at the time and had accidently pulled a wire out of
something daddy was using to transmit a large, important
report to head office. I’d been transfixed
by an intense little rainbow that had appeared on his
study wall. It looked beautiful, it was so bright and
pretty that I’d wanted to take a closer look and in so
doing I hadn’t noticed that I’d pulled one of the leads
out of the machine. When dad wondered why his report
hadn’t gone and saw the wire hanging out he went
ballistic. When he asked me if I’d been in his study and
I answered yes because I wanted to look at a pretty
rainbow his anger was unleashed. I didn’t get a chance
to explain further as my shorts came down and he spanked
me for ages calling me awful things with every strike;
“useless”, “hopeless”, “stupid”, “incompetent”, “a
moron”… the rant went on and my bottom took the full
force of his rage. There was no way my crying or saying
sorry a thousand times helped the situation daddy only
stopped when he got tired.
I still fill up
and shiver at the memory.
Still bawling
my eyes out he sent me to my room with instructions to
go to bed and not move until he said otherwise. I was so
terrified that’s just what I did and I was still crying
when Gwyneth came home from school. She heard my sobbing
and came in to see what the matter was. She was
horrified at what daddy did but took some of the hurt
away when she explained the rainbow phenomenon. She told
me about sunlight and glass, and as dad had a prism on
his desk, the sunlight coming in and striking it had
formed the wonderful rainbow. I still didn’t comprehend
how a rainbow could be formed from glass but I was in
wonder at Gwyneth as she then went on to tell me the
biblical reason for the rainbow. She was a very clever
girl and I thought my sister knew everything so by the
time she left my room I’d calmed down. However, mommy
was home by then and she wasted no time in telling her
what daddy had done.
Mommy was
furious. She hated violence of any kind, and made him
promise never to do it again. Unfortunately, that night
I wet the bed. Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was
daddy on the rampage and I was scared. When mommy found
me cowering in my own pee the following morning she was
very understanding but knew how to deal with the
problem. Oddly enough she still had some disposables in
a closet from when I was five and had wet the bed. She
immediately put me in diapers and I wore them day and
night for over a week.
Once again
they acted as a comfort rather than punishment and I was
happy to run around the house dressed like that. On one
occasion I heard daddy say to her that I was acting like
a two year-old, and added through gritted teeth, I was
more sensible at that age. That spanking had a major
effect on my young life because, being constantly
anxious at home, and worrying I’d do the wrong thing,
made sure I kept out of daddy’s way as much as I could.
At one point he wanted to send me away to a Military
school but mommy wouldn’t have it. However, he didn’t
like to see me sulk around the house so, worrying that I
might be sent away, I always had to be ‘happy’.
*
Anyway, my
sister seemed to be well ahead on what to do about a boy
who wets the bed, which I put down to her being a
writer. I knew she researched everything thoroughly
before even starting to put pen to paper so assumed
that’s where her information came from. Indeed, when I
shamefacedly looked up from the damp patch up to Gwyneth
she smiled.
“All I need to
know for what my little brother needs is on the net,”
and dragged the damp sheet off the bed.
“It said this
might happen…” and she ruffled my hair and grinned.
“It’s only a bit of washing so don’t worry. I’ll keep
you better protected from now on”
She carried the
sheet away and, for the moment, I was left standing in a
very soggy diaper, in the middle of the room, waiting
for her to return to change me. I went over to Teddy to
check his diaper but he’s a clever bear and was still
very dry. At that moment I wished I was a dry bear.
*
I heard the
doorbell ring and wondered who was visiting. I thought
it might be Pauly come to play or someone else who
Gwyneth had found online. It was the mailman delivering
a large package, which Gwyneth brought upstairs for me
to watch her open. She seemed as excited as I was to see
the contents as she slit the tape and opened the box. It
was a special delivery that she’d ordered earlier online
and was a fantastic array of new clothes, diapers,
plastic pants and other things.
She’d made sure
I had a pair of shortalls with the poppers, as well as
plastic pants with poppers, thicker rubber pants she’d
read I might need at a future date. There were a couple
of short onesies, another footer, shortie pjs, shorts
with matching jumpers and shirts, she’d gone mad and
bought loads of really nice stuff. I couldn’t wait to
try it all on but first I had to get rid of the sagging
soaked diaper I was wearing.
*
Once she’d got
me all cleaned up the first thing she tried on me was a
lovely soft thick fabric diaper. It was much softer and
thicker than anything I’d had before and once it was
pinned in place felt wonderful to wear. She slipped over
a pair of popper plastic pants but the diaper was too
huge so she ended up pulling up a large pair of see-thru
plastic pants. It was massive but very comfortable
although it made walking very difficult. It was decided
by Gwyneth that from now on that would be what I would
be wearing for bed. She was of the opinion that even I
couldn’t flood the size of that diaper in one night… she
giggled and jokily warned me that I shouldn’t try.
We tried
everything on to make sure it fit and anything that was
a little on the large size would fit if I had more
padding. I was in my element changing and trying stuff
on, well, in truth, Gwyneth dressed me, took me to the
mirror for my reaction and then tried me in something
else, or a combination of new things. We were at it for
ages before I realised I hadn’t had any breakfast, so,
Gwyneth put me in a fresh disposable, let me wear the
new popper sided pink plastic pants over it and we went
down for brunch.
*
The next few
days were fantastic. We went and met up with Dada Peak
and Pauly at various locations and had a brilliant time.
Pauly’s style was rubbing off on me and I found myself
using his ‘toddler talk’ more and more when I spoke to
anyone. He was fun to be with but never really left his
dada’s side for very long. His dada was constantly
attending to his snotty nose, his wet diaper, his messy
hair and always making sure that Pauly was tidy, dry and
happy.
One night before
bed Gwyneth told me that Pauly was twenty-five, had been
with Dada Peak for over ten years and he’d been a
toddler all that time. His dada loved having his ‘little
soldier’ to look after and had told her that he couldn’t
imagine life without him. I’m sure that Gwyneth and Dada
Peak had long conversations about all manner of subjects
but that was all she would tell me, although she did
mention that there were quite a few ABDLs (again I
wasn’t sure what that was), you know, ‘others’, in the
area and Dada Peak would introduce us, if and when, I
wanted to.
I was incredibly
comfy. My new huge fluffy diaper was pinned in place,
the plastic pants were holding me tightly and Gwyneth
had just said that magic word, which immediately got my
attention.
“Others?” I
asked in amazement.
Of course I
wanted to meet others. In my head I imagined hordes of
us, not unlike my jungle dream, toddlers and kids
wearing our protection and playing games, running wild,
building LEGO, and painting pictures… oh… I was so
excited at the prospect I couldn’t wait. I hoped that
the ten year-old boy from the changing room would be
there because I liked his smile.
*
A few days later
Gwyneth mentioned that she had to go and meet with her
publisher; apparently the movie company had arranged the
finances for ‘Smart Moves’ and now wanted to ‘action the
script’ and discuss any changes. However, she said that
I couldn’t join her because she didn’t know how long
she’d be and couldn’t give me her undivided attention.
However, she gave me an alternative and
hoped I liked the idea. She would drop me off at Dada
Peak’s and Pauly’s house and collect me on her way home…
that was if I didn’t mind her not being around. She also
thought I might have a brilliant time because
apparently, Dada Peak had designed the house around
Pauly’s needs and that included a huge play area that
went from the inside and out into the garden.
“Room for loads
of kids to have fun” she enthused, “and besides you two
get on so well.”
I was a bit
worried not having my sister there but I understood why
I couldn’t go and besides, I’d be bored sitting around
all day. It was a busy time for her, what with the movie
and her new novel well underway, so I realised that I
couldn’t be the centre of her world all the time. I
think I agreed to going, although, when I think about
it, perhaps it had already been decided. Anyway, I was
happy to be spending time with Pauly and it would be
exciting to visit his home. I asked if
there might be ‘others’ there. She said she didn’t know
but, well, maybe? That was all the encouragement I
needed.
*
There was a
group of about a dozen grown-ups looking on and all of
them were laughing, commenting and jeering at us. We
were trying our best to be good but nothing we did
seemed to please them. We were all in this large play
area; Pauly was there wearing only a diaper with a
cartoon monkey on the front, sat in a puddle and crying.
There were two other boys Ricky and Kim; Ricky was
blubbing because he didn’t like the pretty little dress
he had to wear (he couldn’t hide his thick diaper when
he tried to pull it down), whilst Kim was head to toe in
a spotted onesie but he had a little waggly tail and his
head was covered in a doggy mask. The grown-ups were
making him sit up and beg, roll over and do tricks,
which he was finding difficult in his restricting
onesie. There were two girls (I didn’t know their names)
one in a ruffled pink rubber dress with enormously bulky
matching panties and one in a similar black costume but
both had gags in their mouths that looked like
pacifiers. There were also four babies crawling around
wearing only ultra-thick diapers, colourful pacis and
bonnets.
I knew I’d made
a mistake. Without Gwyneth there to look after me I was
now just one of ‘the others’ and I was at the mercy of
what the grown-ups wanted. I know I was unhappy. My
diaper was soaked through but every time I thought I’d
be changed, one of the daddies or mommies would simply
add a new diaper over the old one. I had this massive
bulky thing now that made moving at all very difficult
and I’d messed myself. I was sobbing, I was dirty and it
was all my own fault for wanting to be a kid again.
*
“Stoopid,
stoopid, stoooooopid,” I was so angry with myself for
letting it happen. I was rapping my knuckles on my
forehead, shouting and scowling at myself because I just
couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been.
I know I’m not
the brightest person in the world but I should have
caught on sooner and I wouldn’t be in the mess,
literally, that I was now… sitting in. With my thick
diaper stuck to my body I disliked immensely the way the
poop stuck to everything and made me feel both dirty and
queasy. It didn’t help that I was
being chastised for being “A dirty little baby” and made
to feel that was all that I would ever achieve.
Banging my head
wasn’t helping as it hurt. I sat shaking in my pile of
poo unable to do much else and began, as I so often did
these past few days, to cry. No doubt I looked the
picture of abject misery but, this is what the people
had wanted and they were getting just that from my
current display.
I tried to
escape but I simply couldn’t move, the grown-ups were
advancing and I was, I was, I was…
“Help me,” I
screamed
*
Someone was
rubbing my shoulder. “Wake up Benjy.”
I was too scared
to even open my eyes.
“Come on Benjy,”
he continued to gently shake my shoulder, “you’ve having
a bad dream.”
Eventually I
forced myself to take in what was going on around me.
Dada Peak’s face was looking concerned as he gently
roused me from sleep.
“You poor
thing,” his voice was very soothing, “with all that
crying and screaming you must have been having a
terrible dream.”
Effortlessly he
picked me up, hugged me to his chest and rubbed my back.
Slowly my perception of what was going on
returned and I realised I’d been asleep and had an awful
nightmare. As Dada Peak continued to reassure that all
was well, I was able to look around and noticed that
Pauly was standing in his crib, wearing a pink and blue
onesie (that really showed off his thick diaper),
clutching his plushie, although the paci couldn’t hide
his look of concern.
Dada Peak was
making calming noises as I slowly came back from my
horrible dream-inspired ordeal and it was very
noticeable that my crib was a complete mess. Blankets
and toys were strewn everywhere and there was a huge
damp patch. My diaper must have been sodden but that
wasn’t worrying Dada Peak, he just wanted to comfort a
little chap who was frightened. As I realized it had all
been a dream I hugged him back and nuzzled his neck in
thanks.
“Are you OK
now?” That look of concern made me feel safe. I nodded.
“Your mommy, er, Gwyneth, isn’t back yet but she has
called and said she will be with us soon.”
He patted my
padded bottom and scrunched up his nose. “I think
someone needs a change.”
*
In Pauly’s
nursery there was everything; he even had other cribs in
case anyone stayed over. There was a huge changing
station with powders and lotions arranged along shelves,
whilst piles of different coloured disposables filled
every other space. There was another,
smaller stack of plastic and rubber diaper covers to
keep everything suitably in place, look good and leak
proof.
Dada Peak was
very efficient, he had me out of my soaked diaper,
wiped, cleaned, lotioned, powdered and wrapped in a
thick, thick disposable in just a matter of seconds. I
thought Gwyneth was fast but Dada Peak was superfast.
Once he’d finished, by snapping me into a thick pair of
cream coloured rubber pants, effortlessly he lifted me
up and slipped me into the crib with Pauly. The concern
on his face had changed to a smile and it wasn’t just
the grinning image on his paci, he seemed happy I was OK
and not traumatised. As Dada Peak set about cleaning up
the messy crib I’d recently vacated I settled down with
Pauly who inched up close and put his arms around me;
his soft onesie and thick diaper rubbing up against my
padding being very reassuring. Pauly pushed his plushie
into my hands as comfort, whilst I lay there and began
to think why I should have had such a dream.
I could hear
Pauly softly sucking on his paci whilst he snuggled up
closer to my back and wished I’d also had one.
Thankfully, Dada Peak was on my wave-length and
surreptitiously slipped one between my lips, which I
gladly accepted.
*
Being quite
sleepy and trying to work out why I’d had such a
terrifying dream was proving difficult, although it may
have been down to the fact that I’d seen a few
disturbing images about diaper wearers on Gwyneth’s
laptop. It is perhaps strange that after that first day
of appearing on Facebook and YouTube, and receiving all
those comments, once Gwyneth had taken charge I was no
longer bothered by it all. In fact, I hadn’t looked at
either site since, except, and I know this was naughty
of me, I looked the day before when I thought I might be
meeting ‘others’ on this visit. I
wanted to know who might be around and my curiosity led
me to a site I wished I hadn’t seen. I hadn’t told
Gwyneth what I’d done but obviously, those images had
come back to haunt me right when I didn’t want them to.
Pauly cuddled up
even closer and our rhythmic sucking was in perfect
sync, which made me drop off again. It hardly seemed
moments before I was being woken up again but this time
it was the gentle voice of Gwyneth. I could hear her
saying to Dada Peak that perhaps she should leave me
until morning as I looked so peaceful. However, once I
heard her voice I opened my eyes and reached out to her.
She bent into the crib and kissed me whilst stroking my
brow.
“Hello baby
brother,” she cooed, “do you want to stay or shall I
take you home?”
Woozily I roused
myself and stood up in the crib leaving Pauly sucking
gently in a deep and undisturbed sleep. He was on his
tummy and his huge protection billowed out from his
onesie making a massive padded hill out of his bottom.
He looked serene and content. I thanked Dada Peak for a
wonderful day, for looking after and changing me with a
giggly kiss, which he seemed to appreciate. Then, hand
in hand, Gwyneth led me to her car and we drove home.
I was still
quite sleepy so we didn’t talk much though I could tell
she was excited about something but it would have to
wait. I fell asleep on the journey home and the next
thing I remember is waking up in my own bed with Teddy
smiling down on me.
*****
tbc
Part 8
Final Part
I was still
only wearing the disposable and popper rubber pants that
Dada Peak had put me in as I wondered down to the
kitchen. As usual, Gwyneth was typing away at her laptop
with a huge mug of coffee not far from her grasp. My
bowl was set out with a choice of cereal boxes arranged
for my selection. The biggest surprise was that I was
dry, I hadn’t woken up dry for what seemed like ages
but, well, wonders will never cease.
“Morning
sweetie,” She said with a smile in her voice but without
really looking up from the screen, “What would you like
for breakfast?”
“Morning, er,
it’s OK I’ll just have some of these,” I replied as I
emptied some Crunchy Nuts into my animal bowl.
“Did you have a
good time at Pauly’s… I bet you had a great time…?”
I swallowed a
huge mouthful and made an enthusiastic “Mmmming” sound
that I hoped indicated it had been fun.
She looked up
then and said “Well, you can tell me all about it and
then I’ll tell you all my news.” She smiled and then
added, as if it was an afterthought, “Oh… and we need to
go into town today to see Mr Benson.”
I nodded but
wondered why we had to go and see the family lawyer but,
as it would not really concern me (nothing to do with Mr
Benson ever did), I assumed dad or mom must need some
legal document or advice.
*
I was quite
animated as I told Gwyneth about my day. About the
fabulous home that was like an adventure playground.
Every toy, every plushie, every, well everything a boy
could possibly want, he had and we had a great time
playing together. I had been a bit disappointed that
there had been no ‘others’ there but because we had
loads to play with, and Dada Peak was full of games and
ideas, the lack of any more boys charging around wasn’t
an issue. Out in the garden was a little pool that we
played in for most of the hot afternoon, having fun
using his WaterBlaster and Supersoaker guns to do just
that… soak each other. We were running around in our
diapers quite freely to begin with but by the end our
thick diapers had proved themselves to be Superabsorbers
and had swelled to such an extent that running became
impossible.
Lying next to
each other Dada Peak changed us both and I couldn’t help
seeing the little thing Pauly wore over his pee-pee (yes
I’d started calling it that as well). Dada Peak saw me
looking and said that it was just a little plastic
protector to keep his boy safe but I could see there was
a small lock keeping it in place. He even asked if I
wanted to try one but I nervously shook my head and no
more was said. Once we were all dry and dressed (my
clothes had all got a real soaking so I was only wearing
a thick diaper) we had a fantastic meal , which was more
like a party, all his stuffed animals were sat at the
table and we chatted with them as we ate everything that
Dada Peak had prepared.
After that we
were too stuffed to run around so after a bit of TV, and
as it was getting late, were both given a bottle and put
into separate cribs. I thought I wasn’t tired so was
provided with some toys but pretty soon I fell asleep
and had that awful dream.
*
I was worried
about telling Gwyneth anything regarding my nightmare in
case she was angry with me for using her laptop without
permission but I thought Dada Peak might say something
so I’d better mention it. As I began to tell her she
said that Dada Peak had said something about me crying
in my sleep but hadn’t told her what had caused it. He
didn’t know but I explained it the best I could and
where I’d seen the images. After I’d told her everything
she had a frown on her face and was shaking her head in
disapproval.
“Well, perhaps
that will teach a little boy for snooping around in
things he shouldn’t.”
“I’m sorry,” I
said in a quiet chastened voice. I couldn’t face her
reprimand just then so I looked at my empty bowl and
hoped she wouldn’t be too angry at me.
“I suppose
that’s taught you a lesson…” I just nodded still not
daring to look up. “Perhaps you’ll talk to me first
before you go exploring?”
Again I just
nodded and wriggled uncomfortably in my rapidly flooding
diaper.
“OK,” she said
getting up from the table, “I suppose no harm is done
just a bit of a fright but,” and she was being quite
intense, “there are people out there who are not nice to
little boys like you and we have to look out for them.”
My body trembled
at the thought and I messed as well as wet myself.
Just as she was
about to launch into further warnings I think the smell
hit her and she just grabbed my hand and led me
upstairs.
“C’mon you
stinky little tyke, I think we’d better get you
changed.” She didn’t seem so mad now so I eagerly ran
(quickly waddled) up the bathroom, un-popped the rubber
pants, slipped down the diaper and rushed into the
shower.
*
Back in my room
Gwyneth had all the things ready except this time it was
a pair of briefs, long pants, and a shirt and tie all of
which I hadn’t worn for what seemed like ages.
“We’re going to
see Mr Benson so I don’t think your cartoon t-shirt and
shorts are appropriate,” she said matter-of-factly.
My bottom lip
quivered a little as I didn’t want to wear big boys
clothes, I liked my stuff, I even suggested the
shortalls as they were fairly grown-up but she wouldn’t
have it. I pleaded with her to let me
wear a diaper at least and after some thought she
agreed. She powdered and slipped me into a disposable
then pulled it tightly into place. I asked her if I
could wear the pink plastic pants as they would go with
the tie she’d picked out for me to wear. A smile spread
across her face as she reluctantly agreed. Soon I was a
big boy on the outside but nice and little on the inside
where my slightly padded and crinkly bottom meant I was
at my happiest.
*
As we drove into
town Gwyneth told me all the latest news… the main fact
being that mom had been offered a position at a
University in Korea and, as dad looked like he’d be
almost permanently working there, she accepted the job.
This meant that, for the near future, and possibly
years, they would be living over there. In the meantime,
my sister had agreed to house me because our big family
house was going to be put up for sale. I was shocked and
wondered how all this could happen without any reference
to me but then I wiggled about in my thick diaper and
realized the reason why. So, this was why we were going
to see Mr Benson, to sort out all the legalities of the
sale in my parent’s absence.
Although I was
in shock I was also pleased that I was at least going to
be able to stay with Gwyneth, the last few weeks had
been the best and I loved being with her. The trouble
now was that I never wanted to be a big boy again, even
for a couple of hours it was a strain and for some
strange reason I began to sniffle, which quite
unexpectedly turned into a huge tearful outburst. I
couldn’t explain to her why I was in such a state
although I suspect she thought the idea of not living at
home, surrounded by my things was proving to be too
traumatic.
I’d just about
cried myself out when we arrived at Mr Benson’s office.
He was a very officious man and reminded me so much of
dad that he quiet scared me.
“Good morning
Gwyneth,” and shook her hand. “Morning Benjamin,” and
shook mine.
I was very
apprehensive about meeting him as I felt way out of my
depth to form any sort of conversation so I just nodded
as he offered us both a seat.
*
Gwyneth and he
talked about the sale of the house and agreed that all
the furniture was to be put into storage until they
returned home. There was quite a bit more legal chatter
but I’d tuned out and was counting the diplomas on the
wall and then the number of people in the photographs
that surrounded us. I wasn’t listening and would much
rather have been with Teddy enjoying a roll around the
rug in my bedroom. That’s what I was thinking about when
I suddenly realized I was being spoken to.
“Benjamin.
Benjamin.” Mr Benson was looking at me.
“Sorry,” I said
as I came out of my happy revelry to see a very serious
face.
“Benjamin, your
mother and father had wanted to be here for this but,
well, it seems that’s impossible now.” He waved a sheet
of paper in my direction.
“You have
reached the age of eighteen and… you are now legally
entitled to a trust fund that was set up by your
grandfather when you were born.”
He waited until
this news sunk in but it didn’t. I had no idea about a
trust fund, no one had ever spoken about it and, more to
the point, never knew my grandfather as he died when I
was just a few months old… so why would he leave me such
a thing?
I think he could
see that this news had come out of the blue and no one
had prepared me to receive such information. I looked at
Gwyneth for guidance.
“Sorry Benjy… er
Benjamin I’d forgotten all about it until mom reminded
me last night. Whilst you were asleep mom called and
told me about the job, dad, house and… well… your trust
fund.”
I still didn’t
grasp what was going on but I knew I was anxious because
I felt a spurt of pee fill the front of my diaper.
Mr Benson took
up the story. “Your paternal grandfather put money into
a trust fund for both you and your sister; Gwyneth
received hers on her eighteenth so now you also get
yours.” He smiled, which looked strange on such a
serious face. “You are now, thanks to some clever
investments that he also tied in with the fund, worth
approximately one point one million,” I think he was
expecting some kind of reaction and when one didn’t come
he persisted with the news. “Which makes you a very rich
teenager.”
Both he and
Gwyneth were all smiles but all I did was fill my diaper
even more. I couldn’t control the flow and I was so glad
I’d asked for my pink protecting plastic pants. I still
wasn’t completely aware of what all this meant other
than they both appeared very happy with the news. Mr
Benson pushed some papers my way for me to sign and
before too long, and after another shake of hands, we
were out in the street and on our way home.
*
As we aimed for
the car Gwyneth could tell from my walk that I was
probably wet but, as she hadn’t brought her normal
changing bag, told me I’d have to wait until we got
home.
I didn’t mind
although it did feel funny having an expanded diaper
under my smart trousers and I began to giggle at the
sensation. Back in the car and sitting in a squishy
diaper I had to ask.
“What just
happened?” I was trying to weigh things up but it wasn’t
making any sense.
“You have
inherited a fortune.” She was being serious.
“But… erm… I
don’t know… erm… but why… I haven’t done anything?” I
was unsure how to react and it still seemed stupid that
I should suddenly have money.
“Because little
bro… thankfully… someone thought ahead.”
“But I don’t
want all that money. What would I do with it?” I mumbled
to myself. “I’m not clever like you so, maybe, you
should have it.”
She could see I
was in turmoil and smiled and patted my leg. “Don’t
worry about it for the time being, we can sort it out
later. The only thing you need to think about is… you
can be little for as long as you like now.”
Despite the fact
that I was dressed in big boy clothes it hadn’t occurred
to me that I wouldn’t be able to return to being little.
In such a relatively short time I’d got so used to the
way things were and that I regarded being little as…
well… me. It was normal and dressed as I was now was the
strange thing. I was desperate to get back home, get out
of my long pants and get changed. Maybe Gwyneth would
let me wear that nice green and pink onesie with the
rocket on the front.
*
Once home I was
in a hurry to race upstairs and change but Gwyneth
called me back and made me sit at the table as she
wanted to discuss things with me whilst I was still a
‘big boy’.
“Sweetie, I need
you to concentrate just for a little while, OK?” Despite
my soggy diaper reminding me what I’d done in Mr
Benson’s office I nodded as I could see she was serious.
“You now have
lots of money. Money you can do anything with but
perhaps, thinking ahead, you can leave where it is and
take some income from it.”
She looked to
see if I was clear about what she was saying but all I
could think about was getting an electric train set and
some more toys. I wanted to have some of the things
Pauly had… and he had loads of stuff. I knew a million
was a lot but the number simply didn’t mean anything to
me. Although Gwyneth wanted me to think about the
future, all I wanted to do was play and live right now.
In the end I think Gwyneth knew she was making very
little sense to me as I kept asking if I could now get
this or that or something else, which she said I could
if I wanted.
The previous
‘happy’ look on her face changed to one of concern. She
looked into my eyes and asked in a low voice.
“Oh baby, you
might not want to be little for ever. You might meet
someone…”
She was having
problems and I didn’t understand why.
We were going to be living together; she would take care
of me, she would use the money as she saw fit, she would
keep me…
“Sweetheart,
things might change…” I wriggled uncomfortable now in my
soaked diaper thinking I needed that changing. “I want
you to be happy but there are so many things I can see
that might get in the way.”
“The movie is
going ahead and they want me around to advise but, as
production doesn’t start for a few of months…”
She sighed
deeply and then held out her hand. “But, for the time
being at least, let’s get you cleaned up and changed.”
We walked to the
stairs.
“My baby brother
is all that matters for the moment and he needs a new
outfit.”
I scrambled the
last few stairs and ran to my room. I picked out the
onesie as I was pulling down my long pants and shucking
off my tie.
“My... you are
keen.” She un-popped my plastic pants and opened up my
wet diaper.
I giggled as I
lay there naked. Seconds later I was smeared in lotion,
powdered, diapered and in my brand new onesie. We looked
in the mirror. Gwyneth held my hand and I felt the years
roll away. I was safe and happy and I loved the
reflection of the little boy who was looking so cute.
I looked up at
her and said: “Thank You Mommy”.
*********************************************
The End
After you've finished reading, you might want to return to the DailyDiapers Story Index