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Grey Goose Farm                                                                                                       by Les Lea

Grey Goose Farm was not really a farm. Set on a 3000 hectare estate in Germany, Graue Gans Bauernhof is the home to Baron Von Derklict, whose restored mansion, which has been transformed into a luxury hotel, a ‘Health Spa’ and camping facilities, he’s created within its lush landscape.

There is a huge lake, with cabins and camping amenities around it, luscious and extensive gardens, a forest and undulating hills, whilst access is by one meandering road that has security posted to stop any uninvited visitors. However, those who are granted access enjoy a freedom and relaxed setting in which to pursue their particular ‘interests’.

Named after the birds that are frequent visitors to the lake (the Baron was most definite that he didn’t want the mansion’s or his family name attached to the spa’s title), the ‘farm’ was a concept that he’d had from being a small child, with a strict nanny and his own issues.

Guests come from all over the world. Graue Gans Bauernhof was perhaps surprisingly, a name on everyone’s lips and anyone who was anyone wanted to be invited. There was only one stipulation; they had to be (or like being) a part of the ABDL community. Invites were only offered on a recommendation basis or via ‘specialist interest’ groups – checks and double-checks were made on all guests so as not to disrupt the tranquil and ‘family’ atmosphere that the farm strived for.

The Baron is most definite in his aims; the ‘health spa’ is indeed a place to find inner peace, a relaxed and convivial atmosphere, treatments for the body and mind. Twenty years ago, owing to the death of one of the richest men in the country, the Baron’s mentor and ‘daddy’, he was able to start work on his concept. That resulted in a rambling estate being transformed into the most desirable of destinations in Germany, but only if they shared the Baron’s interests. Not only that but he also employed the best looking, most agreeable staff to be found anywhere in Europe.

Young and fit - they had to pass a thorough medical and psychological test because of what they would be required to do… and be. Their uniform, for both male and female staff was simply what a toddler would wear but sized up to fit. A diaper and plastic pants were to be worn at all times and to be clearly seen poking out from under tight fitting shorts or dresses. The colour-coding of the plastic protection making it evident just what job each member of staff was employed to do; clear plastic was for ancillary staff, dark blue for medical, green for maintenance, red physio, pale blue for nursery staff, whilst pink and multi-coloured or pictorial plastic pants were for playmates! Their tops were also in the same colour as their diapers but with a small grey goose embroidered on a colourful background above the heart.

The grey goose had become the logo and could be seen everywhere, almost like a coat-of-arms. Diapers carried it, t-shirts, toys, clothing; even the crockery in the restaurant all carried the grey goose insignia. It wasn’t just a marketing opportunity, although that is what it became, it was to draw people, like the Baron, closer together with a simple symbol that those in the know recognised and those who weren’t didn’t much notice.

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The Baron himself was a daddy to four babies, two lovely baby boys and two sweet little girls, and it was this interest that led to such an expensive and luxurious retreat that Grey Goose Farm (as most foreigners called it) had become. 

The Spa features several pools, saunas, treatment rooms, specialist centres, cinema and a very large ballroom where entertainment, discos and dancing are all regularly held. There are both private and communal areas; the camp site down by the lake being very popular with many of the clients. This area, because of its lack of grandeur, attracted the less well-off but still provided for every ‘little ones’ needs and desires. Puppet shows, cartoon tents, nursery pavilions, sand pits, climbing frames, pedal boats, nap centres, daddy’s and mommy’s retreats, candy stores, baby provisions for clothing and specialist foods… the good Baron had thought of everything that could possibly be needed.

Littles, be they babies or toddlers, are catered for in spaces for individual, public or collective events, which are encouraged. There is no pressure to be anything other than what you want to be or what you are. Sometimes, groups of toddlers, in their cute little outfits and well-padded bottoms, spend an entire day building forts and castles and it is uplifting for their Mommies and Daddies to see their little ones thrive in such an environment. Some have never had others like themselves to play with and this freedom to interact with so many, although to begin with may seem daunting, pretty soon they lose any inhibitions and join in the fun.

There was a short list of rules – Littles should:

·         Wear diapers at all times.

·         Name badges worn at all times.

·         Have reins affixed when walking in the forest (the Baron didn’t want them falling down hills or getting lost).

·         Always be comforted if crying or upset (that was every visitor’s responsibility).

·         Not be out past bedtime of 9pm.

·         Always have FUN.

I suppose if there is a main rule that is it - Littles were there to have FUN.

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Everything is aimed at their enjoyment. No matter what the member of staff is doing the child’s interests are paramount and everything is put on hold whilst they help, encourage or play with those who need a ‘friend’. That’s what each member of staff is; they are friends to every single visiting little and must react to each individual request.  Meanwhile, their Mommies and Daddies can enjoy other aspects of the farm that their charges would have no interest in. It also gives the grown-ups a chance to exchange thoughts and opinions, discuss worries and problems and get their little ones diagnosed if there are any personal problems – physical or mental – that need sorting out.

Though a stay at Grey Goose Farm is expensive, most of the visitors see it as both an investment and an opportunity; meeting other Mommies and Daddies from around the world builds up a network of friends and colleagues that couldn’t normally be accessed. The rich and powerful often mix with those who perhaps wouldn’t normally be able to afford such a visit but because of something they have done, written or discussed on an ABDL site, have received a special invitation to spend some time at the farm – all expenses paid.

The Baron is both a successful entrepreneur and very altruistic; he wants everyone who has the same interest as himself to have an opportunity to try the unique nature of his enterprise. Because of the constant support and investment he receives from his better off clients (and the fact that he is personally on the list of the World’s Richest Men), he can spread that generosity to areas of the ABDL community who might not normally benefit (or get to enjoy) what the farm has to offer.

At Grey Goose Farm - littles are good, littles are loved, littles are cared for - it’s a world where littles are appreciated for the joy they bring.

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