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Suckcess - In Praise of the Dummy  (pacifier, paci, dum-dum, et al)     by Les Lea

Recently I have been spending time with my dummy. I have been surprised at just how useful this little piece of silicon and plastic actually is.

As a baby mummy would slip in my dum-dum (what she called it) to soothe and ease my distress, it had never really occurred to me to use it now as an adult.

Through these pages I know quite a few readers do so… but it hadn’t occurred to me why they’re so special, or perhaps more to the point, why they aren’t used more on a daily basis.

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Think of how many biros and pencils would be relieved of their chewed and disgusting ends?

How exams would be a lot less stressful if we sucked on our paci’s as we turned over that first page?

Perhaps taking a driving test would be improved with the addition of pacifier?

When those interminable hold-ups happen on our roads, just think how much less aggravating they’d be whilst spending that frustrating time waiting, sucking on a dummy?

Maybe, when surrounded by bills and receipts as you fill in your yearly tax return, the slurping on a paci might make it so much better; or at least focus the mind?

I’m not sure if every stressful situation would be improved with a dummy; for instance an army going into battle might look strange doing so whilst sucking away… but there again???

How much easier it would be to fill a bath but instead of lighting several scented candles to help relax and unwind, you simply popped in a pacifier?

Don’t tell me you need that glass of chilled white wine, it’s merely a substitute for sucking on a dummy.

Who’d have thought that Maggie Simpson was the sage who knew that: There is not a problem that cannot be improved by sucking on a dummy.

Kojak didn’t suck on his lollipop for affectation he used it as a replacement for his paci.

So, as pharmacies and stores stock adult nappies, diapers and plastic pants… (thank you very much) then I think they should (perhaps by law) also have to stock adult dummies.

So let’s be more open and adventurous with our paci’s, more creative and confident with our dummies and make sure there is - Suckcess for each and every one.

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