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while ago I was acting as a security guard at a pop
concert at the local arena. I’ll not tell you who the
boyband were but they are constantly in the charts and
seem very successful. They’d won one of
those TV talent shows in the UK but had since become a
bit of an International musical phenomenon. Their songs
were catchy, the videos inventive and there seemed to be
someone to appeal to everyone in their line-up.
Not my type of
music really but the job paid okay and the extra cash
was always useful. Not that their tunes bothered me as I
was guarding their dressing room, which was quite a hike
away from the stage.
I suppose, I was
posted outside the dressing room door because of my
bodybuilder physique I look threatening enough to
dissuade any potential fan from trying to gain access.
was some kind of rumpus in the dressing room, which
ended up that I had to escort one of the band members
back to the tour bus to collect something. It was a job
keeping up with him as he stalked off with a great deal
Judging by the
tiny-tot fan-base that filled the auditorium ready for
the concert, most didn’t appear to be over ten years
old, but Christ, what a noise they made. Even in the
distance the din they made in anticipation of seeing
their heroes was unbelievable.
Once inside the
huge bus, and whilst he angrily fished around, wriggling
into tight places searching for whatever it was, his
low-slung jeans revealed a secret. His tight little ass,
covered in a diaper and plastic pants, was waving in the
air as he bent over trying to find whatever it was he
I smirked to
myself. Now there’s a secret that somebody in the press
would pay good money to know.
experience I knew there were probably a bunch of
pre-pubescent fans in the audience who still wore that
type of ‘underwear’ though I was astonished to see a
teenage member of this British band dressed in such a
manner. I could imagine that this particular little (or
should that have been ‘wittle’?) star had more in common
with those kids than the four other, slightly older,
members of the band.
Whilst the rest
were the noisy, boyish and confident play-makers, he was
the quiet, unassuming fifth member who never pushed
himself forward. He was the one that every ten year-old
girl wanted as a boyfriend… as well as to mother. His
floppy blond hair and baby blue eyes stared down from a
multitude of bedroom walls right across the world. He
looked like he was the baby of the bunch and his soft,
juvenile features didn’t help alter that image.
My two girls are
grown up now but I definitely remember, not so many
years ago, their bedrooms festooned with the latest pop
sensation (not unlike this particular boy) and the
concerts I had to attend to keep them happy. Thank god
these days they can look after themselves but I guess,
even they would be excited that I was working (or in the
presence at least) of one of today’s major pop idols.
To be honest, I
wasn’t being particularly fair to him as I’d more or
less dismissed this set of musical imports as nothing
more than a flash in the pan. All I
had to do was make sure he got to the bus and returned
without anyone trying to get to him. However, and I’m
not sure why, there was something about the way he acted
during the short period of time I was with him that drew
As he searched
for whatever he needed his jeans tightened around his
cute teenybop bum and the outline of his padding became
more apparent. Not only that but the top of a pair of
milky white, slinky vinyl pants became obvious and I
could hear the soft ‘rustling’ sound as he moved, which
I remembered so well from when my own kids were toddlers
- except, he wasn’t a toddler.
It was such a
startling revelation but I have to say I was enjoying
the little spectacle as he crawled around the floor
desperately rummaging for who knows what? He was
unconscious of what I could see and I’m sad to say, my
opinion became that of a stereotypical spoilt UK youth.
Not that I knew any British kids other than those on TV,
but my opinion on the matter was very low… I thought
they were all a bit ‘delicate’.
As he struggled
in his hunt, more and more of the back of his protection
was revealed. I offered to help but he
just said “No thank you Mister” (at least the boy had
been brought up to have manners) but I could tell from
the way he said it he was frustrated.
“If you tell me
what it is… maybe, four eyes rather than two might find
it quicker.” I suggested.
He turned and
looked at me and I could see pure anguish on his
beautiful, unblemished teenage face.
He thought for a
“I can’t go on
without him,” he sobbed.
I’ve never been
able to help myself as I just hate to see kids upset. I
couldn’t stand it with my own and this sad looking
little fella seemed in need of some consideration.
tell me what we’re looking for and let’s see if we can’t
track it down.” I offered with a smile.
With all his
manic searching and wriggling under things his jeans had
slid further off his hips and there was more of his
padding on show than he necessarily wanted anyone to
see. However, he was so worried about what he’d lost
that he seemed unconcerned that so much thick protection
was now in view.
about this big.”
He stretched his
right thumb and forefinger to reveal that it was about
three inches long.
“… and is a
small furry teddy bear on a keyring.”
sounded to me like I’d been set up for a prank, I could
tell from little Da*** (sorry still can’t say his name)
eyes that he was deadly serious about finding this
‘charm’ of some description.
“I can’t go on
without Benny. I had him at my first audition and he’s
always brought me… luck…”
He stumbled over
his words and cried a little.
“I know I’ll
fail if I… huh… don’t have himmmm.”
He drew out the
final word, desperation in his voice, and began to look
around with more intensity, anxious to retrieve the
object from wherever it had gone.
I knew from my
own experience with my girls that no amount of sweet
words and positive encouragement would help the
situation. The only thing to do was start looking and
hope the little teddy bear would soon be found.
In the distance
I could hear the build-up in the auditorium continuing
and had been surprised that their tour manager had let
him leave the dressing room so near to performance time.
But judging by the initial hullabaloo I’d heard, perhaps
he had been creating so much in there they simply had to
let him go.
The leader of
the band had indeed been gloating over Benny’s
disappearance and as always continued to mock their
youngest member because right before a show he’d get so
nervous he often pissed his pants. Then there had been a
few other occasions where he’d actually pissed himself
on stage, so action needed to be taken.
The solution had
been obvious, wrap him up in a nappy and send him back
on stage. The only problem with that was the lack of
sympathy from the other members of the band and the
continual reference to him as ‘wittle baby’.
outwardly, and as far as the fans were concerned, all
was fun and friendship, in reality there was a growing
chasm. The others were quickly growing tired of their
teenybop reputation, even if it was earning them
millions each year.
name-calling and general piss-taking had gotten past a
joke as his problem got worse and he needed nappies
almost full time.
resented him for other reasons which I was soon to find
“They all hate
me,” he whined. “They think I’m treated differently
because my doll outsold all theirs put together.”
He didn’t say
this with any amount of hubris just with a cute,
“The press made
a big deal of it so…”
nothing about this boy that wasn’t sweet and innocent
(well that’s what I took away from our short meeting)
and I felt sorry that he wasn’t as worldly as the
others. However, I suppose that was his appeal, and
probably why he shifted more dolls than the rest of the
Christmas that year the ‘must have’ toy for girls of a
certain age had been to collect the band in doll form.
People were going ballistic in the toy stores grabbing
and fighting to make sure their little one received that
special figure under the tree.
The bands album,
single and DVD all topped their respective charts during
that period, as I think they still were when this
concert took place. They were massive and the eight
thousand plus screaming kids in the arena were making
sure that another million or so would be added to their
“They know I
need Benny… my little good luck teddy bear… I’ve had him
since I was a baby. I feel I can do anything when he’s
with me, when he’s not I feel lonely, a bit scared and
my confidence goes completely.”
There was a
pause. “Silly aren’t I?”
He looked up at
me with his sad but revealing eyes, almost begging me
not to mock the fact that a boy his age should still be
concerned about something as trivial as a key ring. But
as I say, I had daughters and knew that being dismissive
of such attachments was not very productive and could
lead to resentment.
There was also a
look of complete panic just brewing under the surface
and I saw him fidget and rub the front of his diaper. I
remember that action very well; it usually meant that
when my daughters did it they had just wet their pants,
though of course I couldn’t be certain it was the case
For a moment I
forgot my place and just thought I was speaking to one
of my girls whenever one of them got in such a state.
“Let’s see where
we can find Benny.”
The tour bus was
quite a big affair as it had sleeping quarters for the
band and staff, who I’d expect to be doing this job
instead of me. Alas, I learned, such was the tantrum
he’d generated in the dressing room he’d insisted that
only he would go and look for it as he no longer trusted
anyone else. I think I was an afterthought when the
manager realised they couldn’t let such a valuable asset
venture off on his own. So I was sent to make sure he
He couldn’t find
Benny and was getting into a much worse state, the tears
and panic making his search that much more difficult.
Then I had a
“Where do you
keep your diapers?”
The look on his
face changed to anxiety that his secret had been
exposed. I pointed to his visible plastic pants.
pwease don’t tell anyone… I have to wear nappies.”
hyperventilating and it took a few deep breaths to help
calm him down.
It took me a
minute to remember that nappies were a British thing but
diapers were the same… although it was obvious he needed
“Look buddy, I’m
not here to reveal your secrets. I signed a
confidentiality agreement before I was allowed to work
here. I just want to help and, if I know what boys are
like, they’ll have either thrown your charm away…”
A look of sheer
horror crossed his face.
“Or… or…” I
tried to placate him, “…they will have hidden him in
what they regard as the most embarrassing place for
He seemed to nod
in understanding and toddled over to his bunk.
Actually it was
more of a waddle because his disposable diaper had
expanded so much. It was the sag that was weighing his
diaper down so I guessed he’d wet on more than one
occasion. That boy most really flood when he gets
His vinyl pants
now appeared stretched and shiny and if he’d been my
responsibility I would have taken him to the changing
bench and urgently got him into something nice and dry.
He grappled for
a few seconds under his bunk for whatever he was
reaching for and as he pulled it into view I heard a
little yelp of happy surprise come from his lips. He
turned, and there, dangling from between his thumb and
forefinger, was his prized possession. The look of
relief was palpable and the tears that fell were of
relief and happiness now Benny was back in his custody.
couldn’t help but stare at the large box of juvenile
patterned disposables he’d also brought into full view.
He rushed over
and threw his arms around my waist and gave me a
thank you so much mister… I’d never have thought of
particularly liked the British accent before but this
grateful crush and sweet, unaffected joyful response to
finding his bear was very charming. His appreciations at
getting Benny back muffled by that intense squeeze as
his face pressed into my taut belly.
I was surprised
at his spontaneous, affectionate action and patted his
padded bum quite by accident.
I could feel in
that hug just how much it had meant to him to be holding
his good-luck charm and I began to wonder if he’d ever
let me go.
be getting back now?” I gently offered.
appeared to realise that he had work to do.
“Oh, erm, yes,
He didn’t appear
to know what his next course of action should be because
he started once again to rub the front of his protection
so I think at least another spurt of pee had filled his
For a moment he
was confused and wasn’t sure what to do.
Look, I know I
was in no way responsible to the lad but I just thought
that at that particular moment he needed a guiding and
“Do you need
time to, er, change first?” I offered.
quizzically up at me unable to even form the words for
‘Yes’ or ‘No’. The poor little guy was very distressed
and really needed assistance he couldn’t possibly go on
stage in the state he was in. Had he returned to the
dressing room with such a sagging diaper he risked
further humiliation from everyone.
He seemed locked
in indecision and fear.
“Would you like
me to help you?”
It was an offer
I was reluctant to give but he seemed desperate and
trapped. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he was needed
on stage so something had to be done.
“I am a father
and have changed my daughters many times over the years.
I think you’ll be in safe hands.”
thoughts filled my head all at the same time.
Would he think I
was being too forward?
Worse, would he
think I was some kind of pervert?
remembered my daughters often leaving an excited but
damp puddle on the back seat of the car when they’d got
anxious or over-excited about something. I needed to
offer some solution to his expansive protection.
A look of shy
relief flushed his face as he pulled out a fresh, clean
disposable from the box.
His jeans were
already halfway off so, unbuttoned the top and let them
fall to the ground.
I asked if there
were any wipes and he directed me to the bus’s bathroom
where, for such a small space, there were all manner of
lotions and potions, oils and sprays, powders and
tissues, I grabbed what I thought I needed and returned
shuffled out of his plastic pants and pulled at the
tapes. His colourful disposable was swollen with urine
and certainly wouldn’t have lasted much longer. I
offered to take control from there on and he seemed
content in letting me get on with it.
I removed his
bulging diaper, wiped his rather small but resting penis
and pale pubic area, which had less hair than I would
have expected, and rubbed in some lotion. He giggled,
actually giggled, when I sprinkled the powder and I
couldn’t help but sort of lecture him about older boys
As I spoke I
unfurled the fresh disposable and it was covered in cute
little cartoon animal characters, very childish but they
seemed the correct size for him. It brought back
memories of my girls and the pleasure I took in making
sure they were all clean, dry and tidy before they went
off to play.
As I fastened
the tapes and returned his plastic pants into position I
tried to make him realise that having such a charm would
lead to continued bullying. They would always be able to
use his reliance on it as a way of getting at him. He
seemed to appreciate my words and nodded but I could
tell from the way he gripped Benny that this was one
contact with his childhood he wasn’t ready to dispense
with just yet.
He pulled up his
jeans, fastened the little bear to one of his belt-loops
and was ready to return. The outline of the fresh
padding barely showed under his jeans. So, I guess the
public wouldn’t know of his secret from today’s
performance, which was just as well because at that
moment the manager threw open the door with a pained
expression on his face.
can’t keep them waiting any longer… we need to get on
still can’t say) nodded and turned his handsome face to
“Thank you very
much mister for your help… and in finding Benny… I
really appreciate all you’ve done.”
the crowd are getting restless.” The manager urged.
So, as he
followed his manager, I heard that wonderful rustling
sound I’d loved once my own kids had been cleaned,
changed and slipped into a pair of plastic pants. Then
suddenly I was on my own and left to lock up the tour
bus and return to my station outside the dressing room.
Even from where
I was standing, which was miles away from performance
area, I could hear the scream as the boys took the
stage. For the next couple of hours that noise never
stopped and, despite my total lack of interest in their
music, I wanted to see my new found friend (?) perform.
though I couldn’t watch them, in my head I was watching
his cute little padded bottom send the girls and boys in
the audience into raptures. It was nice looking after a
teenage toddler, I doubt our paths will ever cross again
but I won’t forget that particular meeting in a hurry.
He seemed a
nice, unaffected, polite teenage boy in a diaper and as
long as he had little Benny, I suspect he’d be okay.
By Les Lea
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