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by Les Lea
It was the
start of the summer holidays and Grandma and Grandpa’s
golden wedding anniversary, so the entire family, as
well as a bunch of friends and neighbours, were
congregating at their large house in the country. It’s
quite old and gloomy but has six bedrooms for those who
were staying over, which included me and my family,
Uncle Ernest and his family, Aunty Pat and her husband,
Gordon and Cleo who were friends of Grandpa’s and had
flown in from Australia and Stephen Wilkes who’d driven
up from the South coast and used to be an old neighbour
The house even
had a name as you turned into the drive, Wood View
(1854) and had been the dwelling of the area bishop in
years gone by. Grandpa had bought it and was where he
brought his new wife and where their children were born.
Uncle Ernest was
the eldest, then Aunty Pat and then my mother Diana.
When she married my father, James, they didn’t have much
money so when they found out I was on the way, it was
agreed they should live in the family home.
When I was born,
we stayed with Grandma and Grandpa for a while so we’re
all pretty close. In fact, we remained with them until
about ten years ago when I was four and we moved about
100 miles to a new house in the city. Dad had got a huge
promotion and became manager of the company he worked
for. He’s now the CEO and in charge of everything.
When we lived at
Wood View it always seemed a cold rambling building but
from an early age the nursery became my room and as I
got older it was nice to have so much space where I
could spread out my toys and have a place to play. Even
now, when we visit and stay over, I have that room,
though Grandpa got rid of the childish bed as it would
be too small for me now and I have a much nicer bigger
something like a thick duvet because even in summer the
place radiates the chills. Not that it’s haunted or
anything, despite all the creaks and groans, it’s just
that type of draughty place but, it is in the
countryside, and that’s a wonderful place to explore.
house doesn’t seem much warmer despite the fact that
when they had the builders in to construct a
conservatory they added central heating to the entire
place. Another improvement was that they had part of
their large bedroom converted so there is now a bathroom
in there. Up until then there was only one ‘family’
bathroom, which was long and large and felt like you
were entering some vast, cold tunnel that had a bath and
toilet at the end of it. That room only heated up when
you took a bath but you never lingered for long if you
used the toilet. Despite Gran’s best attempts, even the
potted plant and shelves of fresh towels couldn’t
brighten up the place. At night it was a scary and icy
place to visit.
There were about
eighty people who came to celebrate with us and both my
grandparents are healthy and involved in the local
community, so lots of locals as well as family turned
up. By the time we got there the bedrooms had been
allocated and ended up with all us boys in my old
bedroom. Unfortunately for me, Brian, Uncle Ernest’s
eldest son, had commandeered my bed for himself and
there were a couple of inflatable mattresses and
sleeping bags for me and my twelve year old cousin Reece
who’s Aunty Pat’s son. Brian’s youngest brother three
year old Martin was lucky as Grandpa had restored my
little old bed which fitted him OK. There’s also a
Reece’s sister April (13) and I forgot to mention
Brian’s sister, fourteen year old Fiona.
My two female
cousins get on really well and they had a room to
themselves as they wouldn’t share with anybody. Whilst I
get on OK with Reece I’m the complete opposite of Brian
who I think is a bit of a bully. At sixteen he’s school
captain of both the football and rugby team and derides
me every time I join in any game because I’m hopeless. I
just hate getting hurt, which I think is a sensible
position to take. He thinks I’m a “swotty little
twat” and I know this because he’s called me that
ever since I passed the entrance exam to get into the
exclusive school I now go to.
The party was a
huge success and I had a great time along with everyone
else I think. When it came to bedtime we all had our
room, well except for Gordon and Cleo who were going to
be in the conservatory on the foldout couch, whilst
Steve Wilkes was going to be on the sofa in the living
Of course my
room was the busiest and Aunty Judy, Uncle Ernest’s
wife, took Martin up first and got him settled about
9.30. Then around 10.30 Aunty Pat said it was time Reece
made for bed and mum said I should go as well. I know
I’m only a year older than him but I wanted to be
treated as Brian was, he didn’t seem to be under any
restrictions. I even saw him downing a bottle or two of
beer, which I was forbidden to even try.
my protest not to leave, and I saw the look on Brian’s
face as if to say ‘it’s time all kiddies were in bed’,
mum was insistent so had no option if I didn’t want to
cause a scene at the party. If I had I would have been
in serious trouble so irritably flounced upstairs to
join the others.
When I got there
I saw that Aunty Pat was putting Reece in a disposable
and pulling plastic pants over them before he slipped
into his PJs. I was a bit shocked but aunty explained
that, as there was only one toilet for us all to use and
it was a bit chilly late at night to make the journey,
to save any embarrassment a nappy was judged a good
idea. I saw the logic but just shrugged glad mum hadn’t
insisted on the same for me - except, aunty ruffled out
another one and looked my way.
“I’m not wearing
a nappy aunty, I’m too old.” I tried to explain. “I can
get to the loo if I need to so...”
I was whispering
my argument because Martin was asleep in his little bed
and we didn’t want to wake him.
“Sorry Danny but
your mum and dad think it’s for the best so... you will
have to wear one.”
I was furious
but with Reece looking on I didn’t want to lose face
though she could tell I was on the verge of a massive
She wasn’t going
to put up with any unwillingness on my part and
obviously anxious to get back to the party.
“Look, I can get
your father if you want but suspect he won’t be happy
being dragged away for something that has already been
I felt cornered
because I know dad doesn’t like it when I act like a big
kid, he thinks I’m sensible and know that things are
done for my benefit. I was torn but Reece was in one so
it was hard to refuse. Mind you, I had no idea what
threat his mother had made before he agreed to wear one.
“I’ll count to
three and if you don’t let me put you in this straight
away...” and she waved the thick disposable in my
direction, “I’ll get your dad and let him do it. One,
“OK, OK.” I
conceded despite the fact that I knew Brian would have a
ball if he knew we were wearing nappies.
now, Reece’s all wrapped up so you’re not alone. Even
Martin’s wearing one...”
“Yes but he’s
only three so I suppose...”
grateful when you see you won’t have to negotiate
finding the bathroom in the middle of the night. We
don’t mind if you use it as that’s what it’s there for
so don’t worry if you do.”
Use the nappy...
was she mad?
It wasn’t like I
could offer to do it myself because aunty had obviously
been given a job and this was now cutting into her party
time. She wanted it done and out of the way as quickly
I piled my
clothes on the chair and looked longingly across at my
bed but knew if I occupied it and Brian came up, he’d
punch me in the face. A shiver ran down my spine as I
was being taped into the thick (though soft) padding and
she’d even opened a pair of clear plastic pants like
Reece was wearing for me to slip into.
better, all nice and safe now.” She watched as I
shuffled up my PJs. “There, all done now... night-night
boys... I’ll see you in the morning.”
There was no
denying the room was cool but not cold, however, once
the central heating went off I knew it could get quite
chilly. I was quite grateful to hug myself in the
sleeping bag and the air mattresses were quite bouncy. I
was still wide awake so Reece and I whispered to each
other for a while.
I asked him if
his mum had put him in nappies before but he said it was
a first. He’d objected like I had but she was taking no
backchat so thought it best to go along with it. He
confessed that the corridor leading down to the bathroom
he always found scary when he visited so wasn’t against
this novel idea. We both had to agree that we were
pretty snug so getting up would have been a bit of a
chore... so maybe, it wasn’t such a bad notion.
I reminisced a
bit about when I was little and used to live here and
how much I loved having the nursery where I had all my
toys and what a great place it was to play.
I was thinking
back but didn’t mention that mum had put a little potty
in the corner for me to use when we stayed here. The
reason for that was I wasn’t potty trained until we left
and I was about to start school at five years old.
There were a few
of Marty’s toys scattered around but mainly Gran had
made a place for him to play downstairs as at the moment
this room was quite full.
We talked about
what was our favourite thing we ate at the party. How
much we’d drunk, we both seemed to have downed a litre
and half of Coca Cola, and how the girls had treated us
as if we were just kids, just because they had worn
their best dresses and were obviously pleased with the
rest of the guests reaction to them. They got tons and
tons of praise, whereas, we boys got a smile and that
was about it.
could hear the noise from the party with the laughter
and music but it wasn’t long before we both joined
Martin in the Land of Nod.
It was Martin
who woke us up. He was calling for his brother, trying
to wake him up by telling him he was wet and needed a
change. It was strange because I’d just imagined that
Brian would be as off hand with his little brother as he
was with me, he wasn’t.
“OK Marty, just
give me a minute and I’ll get you all changed.” He
yawned and swung his legs over the side of ‘my’ bed and
I noticed he was just wearing a t-shirt and boxers. I
felt cheated he wasn’t also consigned to what Reece and
I had to wear but suppose, being sixteen, gives you
special privileges. I have to say that he looked a great
deal older than the rest of us and carried out his
brother’s change with barely any comment other than
encouragement. Martin hugged his brother when he was
finally all cleaned up and wearing a fresh clean fabric
that we were both awake now and looked over at the two
“OK, are you wet
It was a
question I didn’t want to hear from him because I knew
he’d just take the piss. I was also annoyed that he
seemed to know we’d been wearing disposables with
“OK Reece you
first, come here.”
twelve year old cousin left the warmth of his sleeping
bag and toddled over to Brian.
“Are you wet?”
Brian simply asked to which Reece nodded. “OK then,
let’s get you out of that soggy mess... it is only soggy
isn’t it?” The question was a little apprehensive. Again
Reece nodded whilst Brian exhaled in relief.
Brian seemed to
know exactly what he was doing as he helped Reece off
with his PJs and patted his plastic pants but it was
noticeable that he’d soaked his disposable as it had
expanded quite considerably.
just as he’d done with his little brother, he pulled at
the tapes and the heavy wet fabric fell to the floor. He
grabbed some wipes and cleaned him up, shook some talc
all over him and then unfolded another disposable.
“Erm, I don’t
think...” Reece began nervously.
Brian took no
notice and slapped his hand away as he tried to prevent
him threading the disposable between his legs.
“Stop that,” he
admonished and Reece was far too scared to put up any
He did a good
job and had him turn full-circle so he could see that
his handy work fitted correctly. He then did what aunty
had done the night before and opened up the pair of
plastic pants for him to step into. Once they were
pulled up and patted into place he told him to go put
the rest of his clothes on.
“OK Danny, your
turn.” He smiled.
“No, I’m OK
thanks, I can sort myself out I don’t need any help from
you.” I was offhand.
“Well, that may
be so cousin but your parents and gran have said that
I’m in charge of you boys whilst we’re here and that if
you’ve wet, which is all very fine...” he added, as if
to say it was expected, “you have to wear a disposable
for the rest of the day.”
I exclaimed loudly.
“Be quiet you
idiot. The rest of the house had a very, erm, heavy
night and are still sleeping so... hussssshhhh.”
“I’m not wearing
a nappy.” I complained.
“OK, well you
don’t have to but... are you wet?” He questioned and I
knew I would have to answer him.
I was still in
my sleeping bag so no one knew I was as wet as Reece had
been but just didn’t want to admit it to anyone.
both Martin and Reece looked on, Brian marched over,
reached into my sleeping bag and pulled me out. My
pyjama bottoms had slipped down to reveal my thick and
expanded disposable held tightly under the glass-like
structure of my stretched plastic pants.
“Hmmm, I think
we can tell you’re wet so...” he returned to his bed and
pulled out another disposable from the pack (which aunty
had left under the bed) and fluffed it out.
sternly at me. “You can walk over here and let me do my
job... or... I can drag you over here put you
over my knee and give you a thorough spanking.”
“I, errr, um...”
was all I could add because despite my pretending
otherwise I found him quite intimidating.
ridiculous. Here I was in my old nursery and just about
to be returned to wearing a nappy, something I hadn’t
done for nearly ten years. Well apart from last night.
“They said you
might be difficult but not to put up with any silliness
so... what’s it going to be?”
I felt another
nervous spurt of pee soak into my disposable and knew I
had no alternative if I didn’t want a public spanking.
He was so much bigger and stronger and knew they’d be no
chance if he decided to do as threatened.
stop being such a little drama queen, it’s only a
nappy.” He nodded toward his little brother. “You don’t
see Marty making such a fuss about it now do you?”
By this time
Reece had put all his clothes on whilst little Martin
was playing with his teddy bear but still wearing only a
fleecy top but no bottoms. His nappy and cute cartoony
plastic pants were on view. I have to say that Martin
(Marty) was a lovable little tyke and an absolute joy to
be around. Last night he’d kept many of the adults
amused with his childish antics and questions - the
complete opposite of his big brother. Also, it had been
fun playing with him and all the cool new toys he had
scattered around the house and bedroom.
“No but he’s
still a baby and not potty trained.” Is what I wanted to
say but thought better of it so timidly walked over
where he immediately helped me out of my PJs.
It didn’t seem
to register that he was only two years older than me and
therefore this was most inappropriate. So, although I
was embarrassed enough to flush bright red, he just got
on as if this was something he did regularly. He wasn’t
nearly as rough as I imagined he’d be. In fact, he
seemed resigned to his job and anxious to get it over
“Look, if you
think I’m happy with this you must be mad but... it’s
what has been ordained,” he nodded in the direction of
the other bedrooms. “So, let’s just get it done and have
He pulled down
the plastic pants and as he’d done with Reece, ripped at
the side tapes and let the sodden fabric fall to the
floor with a squishy flop. The quick burst of cool air
to my lower half made me shiver and goose pimples
replaced the now pinkish flush.
The moist wet
wipes felt strange especially when it invaded my bum
hole, which I suppose is what he did with Marty to make
sure his was thoroughly clean. Once he was
sure I (and it) was particularly clean he rubbed in some
Bepanthen ointment. I noticed that Reece hadn’t had that
done but by the time I thought to say anything he was
already showering me in talc. Again, like my younger
cousin, he pulled the white disposable between my legs
and tugged everything together tightly before taping me
in. Also like Reece he made me give a twirl to make sure
he was satisfied with his work and then passed the
plastic pants. The look he gave me when I hesitated made
sure I quickly slipped them on.
done, that wasn’t so bad was it? Must be like old times
for you Danny... this being your old nursery and all.”
He smiled and picked his little brother up and set off
to the kitchen. “OK guys c’mon... I’m also in charge of
getting you fed.”
He watched as I
negotiated my jeans up and over the bulkiness but
managed it in the end. Reece was wearing a pair of green
cargo shorts but Martin still had only his shiny plastic
pants for cover.
strange because we had to be quiet, as everyone else was
still sleeping and there were various people in
different areas of the house. Bottles and plates and
some food were still on various surfaces but oddly the
kitchen was relatively tidy.
some milk for Martin and put bowls out for us two. Reece
chose Coco Pops, which I guess gran had got in
specially, whilst I choose Frosties as they’re my
favourite and she always has them for when we call or
We had orange
juice, whilst Brian had toast and coffee but was
surprisingly attentive to his brother’s needs. Martin
seemed to enjoy drinking his warm milk from a sippy cup
and tucking in to cut up pieces of jam on toast.
“OK you guys,
the idea is for me to take you for a walk in the woods
for a bit of fresh air and exercise this morning. I
think they really want you out of the way so there’s no
noise and they can all sleep a bit longer.
So, let me get Martin dressed... it looks a nice
morning so you might not need a big coat... and we’ll be
down in a minute.”
He was taking us
out wearing nappies and that worried me a bit but I
don’t suppose anyone would notice. I didn’t think it was
obvious under my jeans but I knew what I was wearing and
there was a slight swish as I walked. Everything ‘down
there’ felt tight and crushed I just hoped I’d be out of
this ridiculous situation before too long.
I thought all
this as I finished my cereal and watched Reece slurp
down his chocolate coloured milk and smile. It was
obviously a part of eating Coco Pops that he loved. I
was still a bit concerned about the padding although my
cousin didn’t appear that bothered. I hadn’t had chance
to speak to him about the fact we were both in nappies.
“What do you
think?” And I patted the soft padding under my jeans.
“I was too
scared to say anything... he’s quite frightening.” Reece
offered but said no more on the subject. I think he was
worried Brian might return and spank him for speaking
I had to agree
Brian was very frightening because he was so big and not
like any other person I knew around his age. He
certainly towered of us two and was nearly as tall as
Although he was
just a couple of years older than me, Brian looked and
acted like a grown up. Reece and I had both complied
with his demands without too much opposition so I
suppose that’s why he’s the captain of sport at
school... he gets things done.
We grabbed our
hoodies and waited at the back kitchen door for him and
surreptitiously rubbed my bum and could feel the padding
underneath my jeans and wondered why the grown-ups would
have decided that we should wear these during the day. I
mean, it made slight sense last night but today, it made
no sense at all. However, no one but Brian was around to
ask and he’d already told us this was the way it was
going to be.
After the hectic
party the night before the house was very quiet so any
conversation was held in whispers. At that time in the
morning the atmosphere both indoors and outdoors was
still quite eerie.
older still as he carried his little brother to the door
before setting him down. Marty now had a pair of blue
shorts over his nappy and a dark blue zippy-up jumper.
Whilst his big brother was wearing jeans, a checked
shirt, a pale blue padded sleeveless gilet and walking
As we set off I
couldn’t get over the fact that the thick padding
between my legs was making me walk a bit differently, so
constantly reminding me of the fact that I was wearing a
nappy. What was worse, it looked like Brian was our big
brother and we were just little kids he had in tow.
However, he surprised us with knowledge of nature as he
pointed things out to Marty, teaching him the names of
things and asking if we knew what certain trees or
plants were - neither of us did. I may be a swot and
know maths, history, geography and the like, but at that
moment, I hated the fact that he knew a lot more than me
on that particular subject. I’m not sure if it was the
same for Reece but I felt like a stupid little kid.
The morning was
quite warm and clear as we wandered through the woods,
down by the river and along its bank and towards the
village. We’d been walking for well over an hour but I
hadn’t realised how early Brian had got us up and out as
we’d not been passed any other person.
air was calm, the insect buzz and birdsong was all very
pleasant as we spotted a couple of hares darting into
telling us to breath deep, take in lungful’s of fresh
air and slowly breathe it out. He said it was good for
oxygenating the blood and would increase stamina. I
don’t think either of us knew what he was talking about.
Well, I certainly didn’t. However, I did have a thought
in my head.
Fiona and April with us?” I ventured a question to our
“Don’t you like
it being an all-boy’s outing?” Brian queried back.
thinking this would no doubt end up with him calling me
a girl or some such thing so I said nothing as did
“Well I know my
sister, and suspect Reece knows April and they’d take
forever to get ready. We’d still be waiting for them
I interrupted, “did they decide we should wear nappies?”
I’d had some time now to mull the thought over and it
just bubbled to the surface.
shrugged and patted my padded bottom. “Don’t know, don’t
care... they left the package under the bed so I assume
they wanted you guys to use them.”
“But, but...” I
suddenly realised that we were wearing them because HE
thought we should. Despite insinuating it was our
parents who’d decided... it was him. I was furious.
fair.” I could feel another one of my tantrums coming on
and stood in the middle of the wood and swore at Brian
for being such a jerk.
Brian smiled and
shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something about me
not appreciating he’d done me a favour.
I could feel the
orange juice had made its way through my system and was
getting all the indications that I needed a pee. Not
only that but we’d been so rushed I hadn’t had time for
my morning toilet arrangements.
I knew there was
no public toilet in the village and the pub, where I
knew there was one, would still be closed. The café
wouldn’t open on a Sunday so I was stuck as we wandered
towards the village, which would eventually lead back to
the house. However, that was going to be another five
mile or so trek and I wasn’t sure I could make the
“Brian, I need
the loo.” I finally spoke up, though was unsure what I
expected him to do about it.
“I’m sure you
can wait until we get back... but... if you can’t
then... you’re wearing a nappy and that’s what it’s made
for.” He smirked, “Told you I’d done you a favour.”
I wasn’t sure if
it was an evil look or a knowing one because it was such
a simple solution he’d come up with. However, I was
determined I’d hang on.
because a few miles further on, and with pressure
building, what I hoped would just be a bit of wind ended
up to be anything but. It was with
both relief and shame that, in front of others, I let
out a huge sigh as I filled the rear of my nappy. It
wasn’t as if no one knew what I was doing. I was
crouching and the noise made sure everyone was aware of
exactly what was taking place.
Not only that
but my bladder filled the front and that made me feel
all warm and disgusted. I’m fourteen for heaven’s sake -
I shouldn’t be doing such a thing.
The amount in
the back of the nappy clinging to me and squishing
between my legs - I felt wretched, disgusted and filthy.
and said there was nothing he could do about it now but
he’d change me when we got home. He asked the others if
they were wet and both nodded so just shook his head,
and repeated there was nothing to be done so the sooner
we got back the better for all concerned.
I was quite
surprised he didn’t make more of our, or my, discomfort.
In the past I’d known him take the mickey, enjoying his
superiority and generally make me feel small.
Walking with a
mess in the rear of your nappy might be some people’s
idea of fun but I can tell you its bloody awful. Each
step was a mucky reminder of just what had taken place
and I felt revolted with myself and scared about what
anyone else would say when they found out. I was so
ashamed and wanted to disappear from the family.
Later, when we
got back the house was up, noisy and just finishing
breakfast. Gordon and Cleo were packing up their hire
car as they planned on continuing their trip up to
Scotland and were eager to get off. I didn’t see Mr
Wilkes so supposed he’d already left, which just left
our families and as mum, dad and me had planned on
staying for a couple more days I hoped things would
return to some normality pretty soon.
The girls were
not to be seen but as we stepped through the kitchen
door were greeted by a barrage of smiles and questions
as to how the walk went and how lucky we’d been on
having such a wonderful, sunny morning.
I didn’t want to
hang around chatting but Aunty Pat happened to ask
“What’s that smell?”
quickly in. “Marty’s had a bit of an accident so...”
“OK love, I’ll
see to him in a moment,” his mother announced as she
sipped her coffee.
“No, not to
worry mum, I’m going upstairs so... I can see to him...
it’s no bother.”
There was a
chorus of approval about how caring his big brother was,
how rare it was, and what an example he was to everyone.
Yes Brian’s value rose even higher.
guys,” he said as both Reece and I stood waiting for the
announcement he was sure to make about the state of our
nappies... but he didn’t. “Let me show you those things
we talked about.” He said herding us upstairs whilst
barely missing a beat.
I was grateful
for his silence on the matter but he directed us
straight into the bathroom and told me to strip and take
a shower. The three of us waited as Brian went off to
retrieve Marty’s fresh nappies but both Reece and I were
reluctant to take anything off... we were just too
with stuff to clean up his brother and set about it
quickly and efficiently but angrily told me to get a
shower or he’d tell mum what I’d done. That spurred me
on to do as directed though didn’t dare look in the
messy disposable I quickly pulled off and equally as
quickly, skipped under the shower. Despite the bathroom
being relatively cold, the shower was a welcome
temperature and I enjoyed the heat, if not the messy bum
I was cleaning up.
I came out Martin was gone but I saw Reece lying on a
towel and being taped into another disposable. He looked
upset and shivering in the coolness of the place but
wasn’t putting up too much of a protest. He was
embarrassed because all he had on was the disposable and
those clear plastic pants being inched up his legs. I
wasn’t sure where the rest of his clothes had gone but
noticed mine had vanished as well.
“OK Danny, let’s
get you dry and into something a bit more appropriate
I noticed there
were more disposables next to Brian and that glint told
me that’s what I was going to be wearing. I shook my
“I’m not wearing
another nappy... so you can think again.”
“OK, OK, fine,
I’ll just tell your mother about you shitting and
pissing your pants and see what she has to say on the
subject. I think you’ll be wearing a nappy permanently.”
He got up to leave so I only had a moment to rethink my
The idea that
anyone, let alone my parents, knew about me doing that
at my age just didn’t bear thinking about. That was a
secret I’d gladly take to my grave, it was bad enough
that we four knew it happened.
win.” I began to think that it was only for the rest of
the day because, I assumed, they’d all be gone by
nodded our leader, “but I want assurances from you two,”
and looked from one to the other, “that you’ll do
exactly as I say when I say with no argument, is that
I said nothing
and Reece just shivered.
“Look, I don’t
want any arguments so either agree or let’s get your
mums involved in your crappy use of nappies.”
That was a
threat we had to take seriously so reluctantly we both
“OK then. Now,
we can pass the shitty nappy off as Martin’s but you two
will wear these,” he indicated the large white
disposable now wrapped tightly around Reece, “until I
tell you otherwise... and I expect you to use them for
their designated purpose.”
We both looked
shocked and uncomfortable but any quarrel we might have
had was lost with the withering look he gave us. I have
to say he’d seemed to become more than a couple of years
older than me; his authority grew and dominated us with
barely any resistance.
“If I see either
of you attempting to use the loo I shall happily tell
your parents just what a couple of shitty little babies
they have... it’s up to you.”
He patted the
towel out on the floor and indicated for me to lay out
for my change. Grudgingly, I flopped down and let Brian
administer the creams, powder and slip a thick
disposable under me.
Why he was doing
this, or even what he was getting out of it, eluded me
but he was as thorough this time as he had been that
At that moment,
just as he was finishing pouring powder all over me
Marty walked in.
“There you are,”
Brian smiled at his little brother, “see, even big boys
need their nappies so don’t you worry about not being
potty trained just yet... there’s plenty of time.”
It was quite
touching as Marty hugged his brother but then looked
down at me just before he taped me up.
“Danny pooed his
nap-nappee.” He looked a little guilty as he said it
because he’d done the same.
“Yes he did
didn’t he?” Brian smiled at his brother and hugged him
tighter. “But, it’s a secret between us big boys and
you’re getting to be a big boy yourself, so, no telling
I was grateful
to Brian to cover what had happened as I worried Marty
might spill the beans either accidently or on purpose.
“There now,” he
fastened the last tape in place and helped me up.
Again I was made
to spin so he could check it held up okay.
Then it was the plastic pants, which he held open
for me to step into. Pulling them right up and patting
them down and making sure the disposable was well
contained he finished. “Right, I think you’re done for
the time being.”
“Now you two,”
he looked straight into my eyes but was including Reece
in the conversation, “I expect you to play with Marty
here and keep him entertained.”
was delightful I wasn’t all that keen on keeping a three
year old amused but thought it would only be for a short
while before they all departed and be on their way home.
Then I could lose this stupid nappy and let things get
back as they were.
“Think of it
this way guys.” Brian was trying to sound all congenial,
“Without those nappies and plastic pants you two would
have made quite a mess in your pants and I’m doubtful
you’d have been able to hide that fact from your
parents. At least wearing these offers protection from
those embarrassing moments, eh?” and to hammer home the
point patted our well-padded bottoms.
It felt strange
skulking along the corridor from the bathroom back to
our bedroom; they were at opposite ends so you had to
pass everyone else’s on the journey. Both Reece and I
were wearing only the disposable and plastic pants,
which I suppose from a distance, I hoped just looked
like particularly large underwear. However, we both
rustled as we tiptoed along the hall and dreaded meeting
anyone on the way.
passed the girl’s room and heard them giggling over the
music they were playing and grateful they were
distracted so hadn’t seen us dressed as we were. It was
a relief to eventually close the door to our sanctuary.
Marty made for
his blue shorts and jumper, Reece for his green shorts
and blue t-shirt, whilst I looked for my jeans.
“Have you put my
jeans somewhere?” I innocently asked Brian.
“I’m afraid they
got some crap on them so I’ve put them to wash.” He
“So mum knows?”
I was horrified at the thought.
“No, she just
knows that you slipped in a puddle and that’s why you
rushed upstairs to get cleaned up and you asked me to
put them in the wash.”
“Did she buy
“She didn’t seem
overly concerned but, now, we need to get you into...”
“Ah, I think
there’s a spare pair of chinos in my bag.” I said
pointing to the backpack I’d brought which contained a
change of clothes.
“Mmm yes there
is but I think I want you in something a bit more...
appropriate.” He gave me that smirk I wasn’t sure was
all that pleasant. “How about, like the other two, you
wear some shorts?”
“But I haven’t
brought any... I only have...” but he produced a pair
that had been left in the drawer from one of my previous
“These look like
they’ll do.” He handed them over.
“But, but these
are way too small. I can’t wear these they’re, they’re,
“Just put them
on and stop complaining, they look fine and they’re blue
so,” he smiled cheekily at Marty, “you and him could be
Marty seemed childishly thrilled at the idea.
So that was his
plan... to make us both into nappy-wetting three year
olds like Marty.
I was about to
complain and throw a wobbly if necessary but mum called
up from downstairs to tell us to get down as we were
going off somewhere.
I looked daggers
across at Brian who merely mouthed the words “No
arguments” so I tentatively slipped them on. They
covered the padding but only just because I could feel
the top bursting over their waistband. I found a long
jumper and dragged that over my head and as far down as
possible. I hoped it would hide any visible signs of the
ungainliness I was experiencing.
Brian said we
all looked good to go, so again herded us downstairs.
“Don’t pull on
your jumper love you’ll get it all out of shape.” It was
mum catching me as I continually tried to make sure it
covered the seat of my shorts. “Oh, I haven’t seen those
shorts for a while... I didn’t know you’d brought them.”
No doubt wondering why I had.
“Yes, well, I’d
left them in my room last time we were here,” Actually,
they’d been there for quite some time but had never
gotten around to taking them home, “and it’s such a nice
day I thought it would be...”
She’d moved on
to helping gran with some baskets she wanted loading
into the car so missed my last nervous piece of
“Don’t try so
hard,” Brian whispered in my ear. “You look fine.”
I didn’t believe
him because the weight felt like it was slipping down
every time I moved so was constantly clutching at my
groin to rearrange it.
attracting attention to yourself now leave it.” Was
Brian’s last instruction before we loaded ourselves into
the cars and went for a surprise visit to the stables
where gran was a patron of a horse charity. We were
taking extra supplies to help feed the animals but also
some extra tack and equipment they needed.
When we got
there it was an open day so there were quite a few other
families, friends and visitors all enjoying viewing the
horses. A parade had been organised of all the animals
because some were being sponsored and you could have you
photograph taken with your favourite. Marty wanted his
taken with a lovely white and brown Shetland pony the
place kept as a ‘stable friend’ to the horses, although
it wasn’t ridden. I think the larger horses intimidated
him a bit, well they did me but they all looked in
pretty good condition.
wasn’t for race horses, it looked after abused or
retired horses so not all of them were working, some we
enjoying a place of love and care that the staff
lavished on each and every animal.
As it was a
fundraising open day there were games and quizzes for
the kids, tombola and merchandise along with buckets all
over the place for donations... it was a great day and
thankfully, the weather stayed warm with a very pleasant
I don’t mind
horses but I’m not enthralled by them like some people
though the atmosphere was excellent and I got to stroke
a few of the animal’s noses and pat their flanks... I
was being very brave.
Some rides were
offered. Not on the gallop just in the parade ring
whilst being led around by the stable boys and girls.
Dad had organised for me to ‘ride’ one around the arena
and I didn’t want to lose face by telling him I was a
bit scared. So, I sat astride the beast and wondered why
anyone would prefer this mode of transport. We walked
and then trotted around for a while before thankfully it
was somebody else’s turn to have a go.
As I dismounted
my jumper rode up and dad saw the top of my disposable.
I saw the quizzical look he gave but didn’t say
anything. I turned red with embarrassment and just
wanted to hide away but wondered why he didn’t say
Brian was trying
to get Marty on to a horse but he wasn’t having it.
However, I wanted to tell him my dad had seen the
padding and I didn’t know what to say if he said
something. Why I suddenly confided in Brian I don’t know
except it was his idea for us to wear these damned
things so he should have some sort of plan... I hoped.
He looked at
Marty and then at me “Let’s go and find Reece”, which we
did. He was with his parents and sister who were all
gushing over a horse the family had decided to sponsor.
Nervously he left the small group and joined us boys to
find out what was going on.
parents seen you wearing the disposable?” Brian asked
He shook his
head, still quite intimidated by his much bigger cousin.
He wasn’t alone in that.
“OK, well Danny
here thinks his father knows so, if anyone says anything
just tell them you’re doing it for Marty here. Make sure
I’m nearby and let me explain the situation.”
That sounded to
me like he did have a plan and could explain the thing
away with no come back on either Reece or me.
“Are any of you
wet?” Brian looked at us all.
Reece nodded and
Marty danced around a bit but said he needed a change.
He looked at me
but I shook my head. I had peed in the thing but didn’t
want to admit it although Brian looked at me
“OK, well I
can’t change Reece because I don’t have the stuff here.
However, I’ll let mum know about Marty and she’ll change
him. When she does I’ll check to see if there’s anything
I think I can use for you.” He said patting Reece’s
He walked away
with Marty and I was left wondering just what dad was
thinking, if he was thinking at all about what he’d
seen. I just tried to hide in one of the stables. After
about five minutes Brian found me and without so much as
a by-your-leave stuck his hand up my shorts and checked.
“As I thought,
soaked. Glad you’re using it as planned but don’t try
and deny it again or I’ll check you in public next
I felt guilty
he’d caught me out and the threat was obvious but I
wondered why because surely they would all be going home
after this stable visit... wouldn’t they?
No, it had been
decided that the entire family would stay on for a
couple more days, something that had been agreed before
we’d arrived but information I was not privy to. The
thought that there’d be further days of nappy wearing
knocked me for six and I moped around the stables
feeling utterly dejected for the rest of the visit.
in a wet nappy for a few hours was irritating in every
sense but there was nothing I could do about if I didn’t
want to have my messy encounter broadcast to my parents
and, who knew who else? I felt stuck and powerless to
change things. I hoped I’d be struck by some ingenious
idea where I could turn the tables on Brian but no
clever thoughts entered my head. Besides, he was
constantly patting both mine and Reece’s bottoms to make
sure we were still wearing the disposables we’d been
given... so there was no opportunity of even trying to
When our small
convoy arrived back at Wood View and we’d disembarked
grandpa had been busy setting up a large barbeque.
I don’t know if he’d managed to do it all on his
own but there were tables laid out with salad, coleslaw,
dips, bread, sauces and all manner of finger food and
itself was all primed and there was a stack of meats,
sausage, chicken and vegetarian patties (for the girls
who’d made a big thing about their conversion to animal
welfare and having a ‘no meat’ stance) all ready to be
shoved on and cooked for a late meal. There was even an
awning set out over the pergola in the event of rain. As
a little kid, Wood View’s gardens were quite the
adventure. There were trees, copses, hidey-holes, sheds,
huts and greenhouses plus, a little play area with
swings, a climbing frame and, excitement of all, an
we could enjoy any of that Brian wanted to get us
changed out of our wet disposables... as he thoughtfully
reminded us - a wet nappy is the cause of too many
Once back in the
bathroom he was all business as usual telling us to take
off our shorts and plastic pants and he’d clean us up
and put a fresh nappy on. He was all friendliness and
encouraging but we were both soaked and weren’t happy
about yet another nappy.
time.” Was his observation as the thick soaked padding
slopped onto the floor.
As we stood
there bare arsed he went off to get the stuff from our
bedroom, why we couldn’t have done it there, where it
wasn’t as chilly I don’t know but he had us all but
naked and vulnerable.
returned we could hear Fiona and April giggling as they
came down the corridor.
I quickly closed
the door and as they wriggled the door knob trying to
get in called out it was in use.
“Hurry up we
need a wee.” Fiona called.
“Well, I’m busy
and might be a while yet so... come back later.” I tried
to pretend I was doing my business but hushed Reece to
“Well hurry up
grandpa’s cooking our...” She was interrupted as Brian
came from the bedroom carrying disposables, powder and
“What you got
there?” April asked nosily.
“Oh, just moving
things to the bathroom because I think changing Marty
will be better there.” He tried to explain.
“But Danny’s in
there now.” Fiona added.
“Oh well, I
better come back later if that’s the case.”
His sister was
having none of it. “Well, he’s taking a crap so why
don’t you put one on Danny and then we can use the
loo... we’re bursting.”
“You know, that’s an excellent idea... perhaps you girls
might like to try them first.”
“You know what
you can do...?” Fiona who was fed up with waiting and
certainly wasn’t going to entertain her older brother’s
remarks urged April back to the refuge of their bedroom.
there waving a disposable at the two girls. “Oh c’mon
you know you want to.”
worked as they slammed their door shut in disgust.
“OK boys,” Brian
whispered at the door, “let me in and we can get this
over with quickly.”
the barbecue things were well underway and the smell of
burning meat occupied the atmosphere. Grandpa was
cooking, whilst Grandma was holding court with her
daughters. Uncle Ernest was topping the adults up with
wine and Reece and I were sent down to the swings by
Brian to play with Marty.
“Take a plateful
with you... and enough for Marty...” Brian was saying
because he was staying up with the adults for the time
I rammed a
couple of cans in my pockets and loaded up a paper plate
with sausage and chicken, as did Reece, and we set off
to the bottom of the garden. However, he wasn’t on the
swings as he’d discovered the treehouse and was trying
to climb up into it.
“Be careful,” I
shouted because I anticipated he wasn’t going to make
it. However, he seemed determined and certainly wasn’t
going to take any notice of me. After all, we were all
wearing nappies and wet them like he did, so, I felt I
couldn’t appear to be the clever and knowing older, more
It’s strange how
easily I fell to thinking in this way. I was more on
Marty’s level than Brian’s. I would never have thought
that way before but wearing a thick nappy, a wet thick
nappy, had jumbled up my thought process.
“Look, we’ve got
some food for you.” But he wasn’t interested. He wanted
to complete his mission. I suppose at that age
everything is a test but his legs and strength weren’t
that good and he needed an adult to help.
Before we got to
him I saw him slip on the wooden ladder and lose his
grip. It was a fall of about six feet or so but he slid
against the wood and grazed both knees and hands. It
must have hurt because he was crying and there was
nothing we could have done to stop him. So, abandoning
the plates of food, we lifted him to his feet and slowly
walked him back to the adults.
I had to explain
that he was trying to climb up to the treehouse before
we got there and fell. I was sure we’d get the blame but
thought the main thing was to check Marty was OK.
Everyone flocked around, whilst Brian gave me and Reece
daggers. I told him straight it wasn’t our fault but I
knew he wouldn’t believe us.
hugged him better, which stop his sobbing and then took
him indoors to put something on his scrapes.
we’d helped him back both Reece’s and my shirts had
risen up and exposed the top of our nappies and mum saw
“What are you
two wearing?” She queried sounding like she wouldn’t
believe anything we said.
“Erm, erm,” I
wriggled under her searching look. “A disposable” I
“What on earth
for?” She wanted an explanation but I just stood there
terrified and desperate for the ground to open up and
swallow me. I hadn’t thought of any possible excuse.
The thing was,
once Brian had changed us in the bathroom it was such a
relief to have a fresh, clean disposable in place of the
soaked and crumpled old one, I forgot I’d been wearing
Brian looked on
as mum continued her inquisition but I had nothing to
say and Reece was equally struck dumb.
“Oh, Aunt Di,”
It was Brian speaking up. “Danny and Reece have been
I was surprised
that he’d spoken up and appeared he was going to defend
“Oh yes, in what
way?” She didn’t seem convinced but waited for his
“Well, it was
after the party and Aunty Pat had put the boys to bed
but insisted they wore protection for the night.”
“Oh, yes, well,
erm, that was...” It was mum’s turn to be embarrassed
when she realised she’d thought it a good idea, there
being only one loo and all those guests. “But why is he
wearing one now?”
“Ah, well, this
morning they,” and he pointed to both of us, “were
absolutely soaked and, as she’d left the pack under the
bed, I wondered if aunty had intended them
to wear all the time... you know... as there are so many
He looked to see
if she was buying this and as she didn’t look dismissive
“Anyway, I was
changing Marty, which seemed the best thing to do seeing
as we were all together and, bless him, he noticed they
were also wet so wondered if they, like him, should be
changed as well.”
Mum looked on in
“I got to
thinking that perhaps, if Marty saw that they were being
changed then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t feel so bad
about still wetting his own nappy. So, “he
emphasised with a huge deep breath, “I suggested to the
lads that they might help Marty over his problem... if
they would wear a nappy as well... you know... seeing as
they already had one on... and it was soaked.”
Mum was taking
all this in and nodded when she was told we’d both woken
up wet but Brian hadn’t finished.
“At first they
were dead against it but Marty cried and well, Danny
here is a compassionate fellow and talked Reece into
going along with the suggestion until... well... we all
He took a deep
“I know it was a
strange request and, I suppose I more or less
‘encouraged’ them in their decision making but poor
little Marty was very down about not getting to grips
with his potty training...”
Mum was really
taking all this in and was surprised that a smile of
sympathy and tolerance crept onto her face.
“Well, Danny is
a very understanding and compassionate boy.” She hugged
and casually patted my padded bum.
“Indeed he is,”
agreed Brian, “and I told them that I’d keep it a secret
as long as I could, and so as not to put any adult out,
I suggested I’d see to all changes, when I did Marty,
which they agreed to.”
believe that she was falling for this guff but mum was
still hugging and patting my padding, whilst Brian was
doing a great job making me the hero of the situation. I
didn’t realise it at the time because when mum checked
if this was the case I agreed it was all true. That
meant it was my idea that I should wear a disposable
until Marty and his family left.
love, I’m proud of you... and you as well Reece... for
taking on this task. Even though he’s only three... I’m
sure Marty appreciates the sacrifices you’ve both made
to your own comfort to help him over his potty
training problem.” She whispered the last few words
as if she didn’t want to shame Marty even though he
“I know, you
took until you were almost five before you didn’t need
nappies any more...” Mum announced to both of them and I
felt my embarrassment flush through my body. “So I can
understand why you’d sympathise with the poor boy’s
predicament... well done.” I could have done without
that fact being out in the public domain but she seemed
genuinely proud of what had been agreed.
Reece, I think it’s a fine thing you’re doing and I’m
right behind you. The disposables were a great idea for
the night and they seem to have got another lease of
life now so, yes, well done. Let’s help the lad get over
his worries and I’m sure having two big strong lads like
you two showing him that wearing a nappy is OK, he’ll be
equally fine with his situation.”
“I hope the lads
still feel able to continue because I know Marty loves
that his cousins are...” How Brian was able to keep a
straight face and continue his flannel I didn’t know but
mum was on side.
I’m sure they both know they have responsibilities, like
you and your devotion to your little brother. It
gladdens the heart to see such care in a young man such
Mum was nodding
in Brian’s direction and I could see she was full of
admiration for the way he wanted to look after and
protect his little brother. If only she knew what had
really happened. There again, I wasn’t sure I wanted her
to know I’d crapped my pants on our walk.
for bringing this to my attention... I think it’s a
wonderful thing for you to do for Martin. I’m sure there
are hundreds of parents who wish they had such a loving
and encouraging brother such as yourself. No wonder
you’re the captain of your school teams... a natural
She looked as
equally proud of our ‘bully’ but just didn’t see it.
could learn a lot from this guy.” She beamed at Brian
and went off to catch up with the others.
concluded, “Now that’s out in the open, and you’ve
admitted that it’s all your idea... I want even more
cooperation from you two when Marty returns.” He thought
for a moment. “Do you need a change?”
I had to admit
that a nervous spurt of pee soaked the front of my
disposable when mum first asked about them but I wasn’t
going to admit to anything just then.
“No I’m fine.”
Reece who stood
motionless throughout this entire conversation seemed
relieved and took a huge breath. “Huuggghh, I suppose
everyone will know now and April is going to be a pain.”
you’re doing it to make Marty feel better so you can
take the moral high ground.” Brian added but I wasn’t
sure anyone other than him, and my mum, would see it
that way. “I bet all the adults will be full of
But will they?
close to his mum for the rest of the barbecue and to be
honest both Reece and I were at a loss what to do though
neither of us wanted to hang around and take questions.
I suggested we get another plateful of food and go and
hide in the treehouse until later. He thought this was a
good idea. So, we loaded up our plates for a second time
and made our way to the bottom of the garden.
settled ourselves in the relative tranquillity of the
treehouse we tucked in and enjoyed our meaty meal.
Grandpa was a good chef so everything was well cooked
and edible. As we ate I asked Reece what he made of the
situation we found ourselves in.
“Well, when we
arrived Brian and family were already here and the rooms
had been allocated. I was a bit shocked that we’d all be
sharing the same room but pointed out that if we stayed
over, the room we were in, I usually had the bed... so
saw it as mine.”
This came as a
shock because I’d never even contemplated that anyone
other than me would sleep in ‘my’ room. It took quite a
bit to realise that when I wasn’t there and other family
members were, they had equal access to that particular
room... and used it.
simply said ‘TOUGH’ and said it was where he
slept if he stayed over and pointed to the inflatables
on the floor.”
Again I was
wondering just how many people slept in ‘my’ bed...
except now I knew, it wasn’t only mine.
been scared of him.” Reece shivered at the thought.
“He’s not like me and although I could have wept
pretended that was OK and preferred the sleeping bag so
put my backpack in the corner and got out as soon as I
me in the same way and I told him so, both acknowledging
our mutual fear whilst continuing to eat.
these disposables?” I ventured.
“I hate them...
what about you?”
I took a moment
before answering because I really had to think why we’d
agreed so easily but then remembered the threat from our
‘wonderful and thoughtful’ cousin.
Reece gave me a
look that he wasn’t sure he believed me.
“NO, I really
don’t.” I think I might have emphasised too heavily.
asking, sheesh.” He looked like I’d just bitten
his head off or something.
“Erm , yes,
sorry, didn’t mean to snap... just thought I’d humour
him until they went. In fact, I thought everyone except
me, mum and dad would have gone by now. I didn’t know
that the ‘family’ were all staying for a few more days.”
The can of pop
I’d drunk earlier was making itself known but as we were
in the treehouse and I couldn’t be bothered climbing
down and finding a bush to pee behind, just let it flow
into my already damp nappy.
We carried on
chatting but neither of us could come up with a plan to
alter the course Brian had set. Not only that but my
disposable had become so wet it was annoying and
according to Reece, my plastic pants were bulging down
my shorts leg. It was time to return to the throng who
were still out enjoying the fading summer evening.
I went to sit
with my parents and Reece returned to his but I detected
that all eyes were on us so suspected that word had got
Nothing was said
but I could feel something had changed... and it wasn’t
Mum patted my
expanded padding and then added quite unexpectedly.
“Well sweetheart, it feels like you need a change, let’s
get you organised shall we?”
My sudden appeal
that I was “OK” was met with deaf ears as she grabbed my
hand and led me towards the stairs. I certainly didn’t
want mum to see the state my nappy was in nor did I want
her to change it. In fact, the less she saw of how
things were the better.
I’ll be alright, erm, I can wait for Brian...” Oh heck,
I’d said I wanted Brian to do it. Like I was admitting
to needing him to change me but mum was having none of
“I know Brian
usually does all you boys together so that Martin knows
that older boys wet their nappies too but sweetheart...
Brian’s busy, Martin is asleep in his mother’s arms and
you... you’re my wet little hero so I shall see to
you... no arguments please.”
“But mum... this
is...” She gave me a look that said ‘no more
quarrelling’ this was going to happen and best to go
with it. I’m not sure if mum knew how awful this was for
me. I suppose with Brian’s explanation she was just
relieving some of the burden from his shoulders, but
‘mum, really, I don’t need this’ was screaming
loudly in my head. However, I shut up under her loving
gaze and just let her get on with it.
astonished at just how wet the disposable was. “My
you’ve really used this haven’t you?” I could see other
thoughts ticking over in her head as she found the few
disposables that were left in the pack. “Mmmm,”
mum noted fluffing one out and, having already cleaned
the area, powdered to her satisfaction, then taped me in
securely. “There, all nice and tight... let’s get this
panties, ummmm, pants up,” and shuffled the clear
pair of plastic pants back over the padding.
grateful to be in something dry I can’t tell you how
humiliating the entire process had been. I mean, how do
you describe, at the age of fourteen, being put into a
clean nappy by your loving mother after you’ve just
saturated the old one? What was perhaps stranger was the
simple fact that I didn’t fight not to be nappied. Why
smile throughout was one of understanding but it
definitely wasn’t right. It didn’t feel right and
yet, despite my earlier protests against Brian changing
us, I was more at ease with him doing it. Nevertheless,
mum had just taken it all on-board, decided this was the
right action to take and returned me to a nappy without
a second thought. She was acting like it was doing me a
favour continuing the ‘good work’ that had been started.
Danny...” she said thoughtfully, “I wish there’d been
someone... a brother like Brian around when you were
growing up and having trouble getting to the toilet in
time. It might have had you potty trained an awful lot
didn’t want reminding of my childish troubles. Why did
she have to bring that up? It wasn’t relevant to the
situation. I’m not potty training for heaven’s sake.
“I know it must
all feel strange but I think you’re doing a wonderful
thing for Marty.” She kissed the top of my head and
hugged me tightly. “Yes a wonderful, thoughtful thing”
she whispered affectionately into my hair.
Now she knew
about the ‘pact’ I hated Brian for putting me (and
Reece) into such a position that he promised would
remain secret. Now that hadn’t happened I became
terrified things might get worse.
She handed back
my shorts which I quickly pulled up. Mum looked at me
lovingly and I mumbled a sort of ‘thanks mum’.
She smiled and patted my shoulder to indicate a move
back to re-join the others.
We returned to
the garden as if nothing had happened but I felt guilty,
exposed and thought everyone must know and assume I’m
like Martin; the constant hug of my freshly applied
disposable adding to that touch of anxiety.
Now mum had
changed me, having not done so for so many years, I was
more aware of the thickness of the padding and that
people would now be inspecting me wherever I went. Mum
knew so anticipated it wouldn’t take long before
everyone knew and I needed to find out if Aunty Pat had
discovered Reece’s secret.
I looked over
and saw his sister April tugging at his shorts and Aunty
Pat telling her to leave her brother alone. Reece was
getting annoyed as his sister was giggling and pointing.
Yep, they all
Brian and Fiona
were chatting and looking over in my direction, which
made me squirm and quickly look away. I bet they were
planning to humiliate us further and wondered how, after
mum had said how proud she was of what we were doing,
could I get out of this situation.
patted my bottom; it seemed the new way of getting my
“Well Danny, you
and Reece have certainly got everyone talking.” I was
desperate to tell her it wasn’t voluntarily and that
Brian (the bully) had made us do it but... “We’re all
very proud of you offering to help Martin. I’m not sure
if there’d be many boys your age prepared to put
yourselves out like that... you have my admiration
sweetheart. Well done.”
How on earth had
Brian been able to convince everyone so easily? Surely
they must realise this isn’t our doing... why would
anyone our age volunteer to do such a thing? It didn’t
make any sense to me but to everyone else... we were
“OK nappy boy,”
Yes the dulcet words from Fiona brought my new
self-worth crashing down. “Brian tells me that you,
Reece and Marty are now at the same level of
potty-training. I bet you just love wearing and filling
your nappies. What a couple of little babies... well I’m
sure we can all treat you as such so... I’ve done a bit
of babysitting... do you need me to change you yet... or
would you rather wait until you’ve crapped yourself...
Oh hell, Brian
had told his sister so everyone is going to know.
“He said he’d
keep that accident a secret...” I moaned.
“He had, until
you just confirmed it... I was only joking.” She laughed
and had a huge self-satisfied grin on her face. “So, if
you want to keep that little fact a
secret...” she left the threat unsaid.
She was just
like her brother... a nasty bully.
scoffed, “it’s nice for Marty to have a couple of other
little pissy kids to play with.”
Yep, just like
her older brother.
For the first
time ever in my life, I wasn’t enjoying being at Wood
View. I wanted to go home and put this awful situation
behind me and never think of it again.
Brian came over,
all full of fake friendliness, no doubt to add more fuel
to the fire but I couldn’t do anything to avoid him.
The thing was,
and I know I’ve said it but it’s worth repeating - just
his looming presence was intimidating. I accept being a
teenager myself I should have more ‘bottle’ but, next to
him he made me feel like I was still in junior school,
such was the difference between us. In age it was just
two years, in physicality and size... about ten years...
“Did I see you
going off with your mum?”
I shrugged I
didn’t want to chat.
“I bet she’s
just changed you hasn’t she?” He patted my bottom and
grinned. “I bet you’ll be getting offers from everyone
now the cats out of the bag... still... you know... it
could be worse.”
“How? How could
this possibly be any worse?” I wanted a row but wasn’t
equipped to argue with him and besides I felt really
small knowing that I was wearing a thick disposable and
now had no option... and he really was a lot bigger than
“Hey, hey,” he
held up his arms in mock surrender. “Don’t blame me for
you not keeping your nappy a secret. I’m the one who
bowled in to give an excuse and cover for you...”
Yes true, but
you’re also the one who created this damned fiasco in
the first place. I don’t see you taking any
responsibility for that. Of course I said none of that
being grateful that he came to my defence at all had
Gran came over
to join us both. “Brian, just wondered if you’d like to
take the spare bed in the conservatory for the rest of
your stay now that Mr Wilkes has left us?”
It was something
I hadn’t contemplated, I might get my bed back and Brian
wouldn’t be around to continue with this silly...
kind gran but I’ve just this minute promised not to
break up the ‘boys club’ that Danny, Reece and
Martin want to keep as is. So, thank you but no thanks
gran... I don’t want to disappoint the lads here and
besides, I don’t want to make more laundry if I can
thoughtful Brian.” Gran smiled in utter admiration for
his sacrifice. “Your commitment to these boys is
admirable... absolutely admirable.”
“What can I say
gran - captaining both rugby and football at school I’ve
learned to look out for each member of the team? No,
we’ll stick together and besides it’s so a good for
Martin. The boys are doing a great job wearing their
nappies.” He had to reinforce that fact didn’t
he? “I’d hate for Marty not to get the full benefit of
what his cousins are doing for him. And just this
minute, before you came, Danny was asking if there was
anything else he could do to help. He’s a little hero
gran but I think we’ll need to get some more protection
for the lads tomorrow if we want to see this thing
leave it to me to sort something out sweetheart.” She
smiled compassionately at us both and sauntered off in
the direction of her daughters who were busy chatting
God he had such
a silver tongue, for a moment even I believed him to be
that wonderful. I just wish I didn’t feel so inferior
when beside him but granny went off almost blooming
after his ‘selfless’ declaration.
Monday and dreaded to think what the start of a new week
It seems like
I was getting ahead of myself because Sunday night, when
things had calmed down after the barbecue, the grown-ups
decided to retire to the conservatory for drinks, whilst
us ‘kids’ were left to watch TV or find other
We were watching
a DVD movie about dragons when Marty announced to his
sister that he was wet. Although she’d had a hand in
changing him at home she had no intention of changing
him in company. However, Brian, the ever present Brian,
was around and indicated for Marty to make his way
upstairs and he’d change him and put him to bed. It was
just after 7.30.
He also gave
Reece and me a look that more than suggested it was our
bed time as well. He then whispered something to Fiona
as we boys all trooped up to our joint bedroom.
“OK guys, I hope
you’re both wet and I’ll change you at the same time.”
He was already helping Marty off with his clothes.
A twelve year
old and a fourteen year old just stood there scared to
say anything but knew we were both dry and didn’t want
to go to bed yet. We said very little but murmured that
I was still dry and Reece nodded that he was as well.
“Are you now,”
Brian continued in helping his little brother out of his
clothes, “well you’ve got until I’ve got this little
tyke in a fresh nappy to change that situation. You’re
not being very good role models if he doesn’t know
you’ve wet your nappies like he has now are you?””
had a voice at last.
“I said you’d
better get wetting that nappy pretty soon or...” he
smiled an evil smile, “there might be consequences you’d
rather not... experience.”
alone made for a spurt pee in to the soft fluffy texture
and I’m sure Reece wasn’t far behind. I stood there
being watched by Brian as he wiped his brother clean and
fitted a fresh night time fabric nappy, pulled up his
plastic pants and slid into his jammies.
feeling better now you’re all dry?” His brother hugged
him in thanks and Brian led him over to his little bed,
pulled back the covers and let him crawl in. He passed
him his teddy and tucked him in. “Sleep tight and your
friends here will be joining you soon.”
He looked over
to us and asked again if we were wet. This time we both
“OK good but
boys it’s your bedtime as well and you need a fresh
nappy like Marty for nighty-nights.” He turned to the
three year old, “See little bro your friends here are
also wet so don’t you worry about wearing a nappy
because, as you can see, even big boys still need them.”
his bear was looking over at us sucking on his thumb. He
looked so sleepy and content and we wanted to stay up
though Brian had other ideas.
“Let’s get you
two into your jammies.” He indicated for us to strip and
when we’d both got down to our plastic pants and warm,
freshly peed in disposables asked us to wait for a
We should have
known he was up to something when Fiona appeared at the
not.” I tried to be firm.
nowhere to hide and of course now everyone knew we were
wearing nappies but I didn’t want an audience looking on
whilst Brian changed us.
I screamed, but she just smiled and closed the door
“I’ve asked for
a bit of help,” Brian smarmily explained, “So Fiona,
will you see to Danny whilst I deal with Reece here?”
“Sure, it will
be my pleasure.”
Brian pointed to
the few disposables that were left and the wipes, creams
and powder and told her to be thorough.
“We don’t want
our boys getting a nappy rash now do we?”
The door was
closed and there was no way out and other than screaming
for help our fate had been sealed. Also, for some reason
Brian looked even more beefy than usual and so seemed
even more of a threat and of course, Fiona had my secret
about soiling my pants. I was trapped and was almost on
the verge of tears.
crying?” She asked incredulously knowing she was in
“No.” But I was
not a moment too soon sis... these boys are getting
overly tired and need their sleep. It’s going to be a
long night so perhaps you might think about a double
nappy for him... I’m not sure he won’t be filling his
protection several times over.”
Of course he had
no proof of this, he was just trying to humiliate me in
front of his sister, and it was working. I’d never felt
less in control and more scared in my life.
had raised his voice, “let Fiona get on with your
change. The sooner she starts the sooner it will all be
over.” Again he didn’t have to say much he just oozed
menace. Fiona wasn’t far behind him in that particular
However, he was
correct, I felt so impotent that I could well be in
tears shortly and that would be worse AND she’d still
end up changing my warm wet nappy, so knew I’d needed
one. It took me a few seconds to realise this was just
what he wanted, proof to someone else that we were using
our nappies as they were intended and voluntarily doing
“C’mon boys, get
those plastic pants down or would you like me to do it
for you?” The offer was said nicely but the menace
Reece started to wriggle his pants down but Brian had
obviously been waiting too long and grabbed him, yanking
them off in one swift movement. I could see the poor lad
was physically shaking as Brian then pulled at the sides
of his disposable and the soggy mass flopped to the
floor leaving him buck naked.
plight, but knowing I’d suffer the same fate if I didn’t
get a move on, shimmied my pants down and slowly exposed
my soggy mass.
Fiona’s comment as she reached, almost at the same time
as her brother, for the wipes. “Don’t worry,” she
grinned at me, “I’ve changed Marty a couple of times now
so I’m sure I can get you nice and snuggly in your
nap-nap. You’ll sleep well once I’ve finished.” She
added unnecessarily I thought.
I just knew that
Brian had done this on purpose; a fourteen year old lad
getting his nappy changed by his fourteen year old
female cousin. She reached out and once the plastic
pants were around my ankles squeezed the front of the
really soaked this... uuurrgghh and it’s still warm...
have you just peed?” She spat accusingly.
Of course I’d
just been made to by her mad brother but it was no good
telling her that. Unfortunately, that meant she would
think I did it because I wanted to fill the damn thing.
Whatever she went away thinking it was obviously going
to be more negative than positive.
I had no option
and I could see the determination (and glee) in her eyes
as she set to cleaning the area, all the while talking
to me like she would have done Marty - encouraging but
you worry sweetpea, we’ll get that nasty sopping nap-nap
off and you into a lovely fresh one... won’t that be
nice?” and other such
Fiona knew her
own mind and I’d witnessed in the past her quarrelling
with Brian and not backing down in the slightest. She
gave as good as she got.
baby,” she said in mock concern and wiped away at my
privates, “I’ll get your little pee-pee all nice and
clean from that nasty wee-wee and you’ll be as fresh as
a daisy in no time. You’ve being a very good little boy
for me... well done.”
I was still
standing in front of her naked and getting cleaned up,
whilst being talked to like I was two years old but I
had no option. Brian had already completed Reece and had
double disposabled (?) him so it was very thick padding
his protective plastic pants had to cover.
I looked over
and Marty was still watching but his eyes were drooping
a little bit. However, whilst I was distracted Fiona had
unravelled and flapped out another disposable letting
air get into it.
really nice and soft,” she was actually talking across
me to her brother, “No wonder these babies love them so
“Yes, just make
sure he gets doubled tightly... keep them both safe from
leaking. He looked across at the snoozing Marty, “Let’s
hope he’ll last the night as well” he whispered.
her task and made sure the second disposable was firmly
taped and opened up my clear plastic pants to step into.
she fussed, “final bit of protection so you can go
If I was brave
enough I would have smacked her in the mouth but it was
something I had never done to anyone never mind a girl,
and she knew it. However, she continued her task
shuffling them up and over the huge bulk. This was just
jammies aren’t going to fit so I suggest you just get
into bed as you are and then... well, it’s getting late
and your little friend,” he looked over at the now
sleeping Marty, “is already off into dreamland.”
“But it’s early
yet.” I tried to protest.
“Is it?” Brian
shook his head, “Not for little baby boys like you
two... all wrapped up snuggly in your lovely thick
Then as if he’d
suddenly remembered something.
“Ah yes,” from
under his pillow he produced a couple of litre bottles
of water. “I want you to drink these down quickly lads.
Want to make sure you’re well hydrated for the night.”
“But I’m not
thirsty.” I thought it but Reece said it.
“Now, what have
I expressly told you about arguing, hmm? Just do it and
then you can...”
“But I don’t
want to...” It was Reece again with a rather strange but
“Well, if you
don’t want to you don’t want to but... let’s get you
both downstairs so the rest can see you’re all nicely
wrapped up for beddy-byes shall we?” And he opened the
was stroking the thick padding and reminding me that
it’s what all good boys wear for bed.
are so thick,” she repeated, “it’s no wonder you’re so
keen on wearing them.”
I wasn’t sure
what her brother had told her but that’s not the way it
“I bet you just
love being back in your babyhood.” She continued
to smarmily harass me in a sweet, sickly fashion.
didn’t want to drink a litre of water because I knew it
would lead to a sodden nappy come the morning and
suppose Reece knew the consequences as well. However,
being paraded in front of the rest of the family wasn’t
something either of us wanted. Such humiliation, or
worse, understanding support, was certainly not for us.
“C’mon, make a
move let’s get your mummy and daddy’s approval for your
lovely thick nightwear.”
patting my double padded bulge urging me towards the
door. “I think they’ll be very impressed you want to
keep from leaking... and you both look adorable in such
We were still
reticent but knew there was no option.
“No, you don’t
want to go? OK then, you have two minutes to empty these
bottles otherwise I’ll drag you down kicking and
screaming... do you understand?”
complied and both started to down the cool water. It was
quite refreshing but being forced to drink so much and
in such a short time was not very nice.
c’mon... we haven’t got all night...”
It was a
definite trial to get so much down and there was
contemptuous applause from both brother and sister when
we finished together.
better and that’s why you’re both in pretty thick
nappies so as not to spoil your lovely sleep. Just fill
those nappies like any little boy would,” he taunted.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get you all nice and clean in the
morning before anyone knows.”
He smiled a
menacing grin. “Either of you even try for the
loo and there will be one hell of a price to pay.”
We crawled onto
the inflatables and slipped into the sleeping bags.
in lads... we don’t want you catching your death.”
He made sure the
zips were as far up as possible so getting out of the
thing would be a trial in itself.
suppose that was something we had to be thankful for. He
hadn’t maliciously paraded us around the family looking
like we did but it’s hard to feel grateful for that
“OK, so go to
sleep and no chatting I don’t want you waking Marty up
since we’ve just got him off.”
With that they
wished us ‘nighty-night’, turned off the light and we
heard them both laughing as they went downstairs.
My mind was
wondering and wandering about just what Brian was
telling people. I’d heard his explanation to mum which
had her almost instant approval. He’d convinced gran
that it was something we wanted to do so, what else had
he said... and to whom?
Whilst we were
upstairs and in bed at such an early hour he and the
girls were downstairs possibly filling the heads of our
parents with who knew what? I just hoped that there’d be
some family emergency that got us all to go home early
so we could put an end to this insanity.
I don’t know how
long I was thinking because I was still awake when Brian
came to bed, although I did feign sleep. Surreptitiously
I watched him check that Marty was OK. Well I assume he
was making sure he was still dry but I’ve no idea. In
the half-light I saw him check Reece, who I knew was
sound asleep because I’d tried to ask him something but
got no response. And I could feel him standing over me
but that was as much as he did before he got undressed
and slid into bed.
I don’t think it
helped that I was bursting. That bottle of water had
gone right through me and together with all the other
drinks we’d had meant it was getting quite painful. I
don’t know why I was trying so hard not to wet myself
because I knew that the end result was inevitable. Oddly
enough, with Brian now in bed my thoughts weren’t as
hectic, he could do no more damage whilst he slept and
with that idea in mind I relaxed. The flood started
immediately and I fell asleep surrounded by a warm glow,
which surprisingly was quite comforting.
Monday morning I
woke up late. I was on my own as Reece, Brian and Martin
had all gone, which was a fantastic position to be in. I
struggled out of my sleeping bag but was well aware of
the heavy cushion that filled my plastic pants.
“This is it” I
thought. I can dress myself and do without this stupid
nappy routine. Once I have my underwear on I shall
simply call a halt to the game Brian’s been playing and
make sure he has no further influence.
So, I’d just
emerged from the sleeping bag rearranging the swollen
nappy when Aunty Pat walked in.
“Ah! Awake at
last. Well come on your breakfast’s getting cold.” She
chivvied me on.
“But aunty, I’m
not dressed yet and look...” I hoped she could tell that
my embarrassing saggy nappy needed changing.
Why I thought
it OK to display such a thick and sodden nappy I’m not
sure but I think I was making a point about changing
rather than that it proved I needed a one.
“Oh yes I see,
well don’t worry, we can sort you out after breakfast.
In the meantime, you’re fine as you are... nobody will
be seeing anything new so... let’s get a move on.”
“But, but, I
ermmm,” I didn’t want to argue with my mother’s sister
but I really wanted to lose the flooded nappy and have
some normality to my underwear. “I can get my...”
listen to my protest and before I knew it I was being
gently guided downstairs and apprehensively entering the
dining room where the entire family, except grandma and
grandpa, were eating breakfast.
“Ah there you
are,” Mum said echoing her sister.
Marty cheered my arrival.
sleepyhead.” Aunty Judy smiled.
The two girls
just giggled and I felt most uncomfortable because all I
was wearing was a t-shirt and a double-thick, sopping
wet disposable only held in place by a pair of tight
shiny plastic pants that looked ready to burst.
“I think he
would have slept on but he wanted a change...” added
Aunty Pat, “but I told him he’d have to wait until after
“Yes Reece got
the last disposable.” Brian added whilst Reece, sitting
opposite me, looked decidedly uncomfortable with his
nappy arrangements being talked about so openly.
I mumbled a
sarcastic ‘that’s a shame’ under my breath but
what I really wanted was to scream I didn’t want a
change, I wanted to get dressed properly,
in my briefs and not these. I had no argument as
everyone smiled as I sat down in my squishy, bulky
nappy. Gran immediately brought out a plate full of
waffles and placed them between us.
“I think our
young heroes should be well fed... so tuck in
sweethearts... I can make more if you want them.”
could see Fiona and April whispering to each other and
looking over and giggling. Brian was feeding Martin, no
doubt proving once again just what a thoughtful and
considerate teenager he was. He smiled over at me but
again wasn’t sure if it was a pleasant smile or one
carrying some other dubious message.
There was one
thing I latched onto – “Reece got the last
disposable” perhaps that meant an end to this
foolishness and a return to normality especially in the
“Did you sleep
well?” Dad asked and I nodded between mouthfuls of
waffle (Gran makes wonderful waffles as well as anything
else we eat at Wood View). I had hoped for some support
from my father. I had hoped he’d be dead against me
being returned to wearing a nappy but alas, like
everyone else, he sided with Brian and thought what I
was doing was a selfless and noble act. He didn’t use
those exact words but when I saw him nodding in
agreement with mum after Brian explained what was
happening, that’s what I hoped he’d think.
Yes, I know this
is silly but I wanted him to think well of me even under
these ridiculous Brian-inspired conditions. However, now
I knew there were no more disposables I felt better...
my ordeal would be over after breakfast.
After I finished
my waffles and orange juice mum asked if I needed to get
out of the nappy. I wanted to scream that of course I
wanted out but I just nodded and she led me back
sweetest thing happened. Well I think it was sweet
because I saw no coercion from Brian. Marty hugged Reece
and said ‘Fank you Reece’ and then came over to me just
as I stood up, patted my bulging nappy and hugging me
tightly said ‘Danny, fank you vewy much.”
at the table let out “Aahhhs” as you do when a
child does something adorable. As I’ve said before,
Marty is a sweet little guy, a pleasure to be around and
join in his childish games... but that was totally
I could see
mum’s reaction was one of pride but I was really quite
stunned as all I wanted to do was get this heavy, wet
double disposable off and resume a normal life.
We went to the
bathroom and mum said she wanted to check that I wasn’t
getting a nappy rash. It had been a bit itchy whilst
sitting at the table and she may well have noticed
occasionally giving it a surreptitious scratch. She
helped me remove the plastic pants and commented on the
huge sodden mass.
this is wet love... you must have had a reservoir for a
bladder.” She laughed at her own joke and I smiled not
wishing to spoil her moment. I didn’t want to go into
the details of being made to drink a litre of water. I
doubted that it would have made any difference.
Once that had
been ripped off, and I was left standing naked in front
of mum, she inspected the area for any indication of a
I know that as a
fourteen year old I should have been more modest about
mum inspecting at such close quarters but it simply
didn’t occur to me to be that bothered.
you’re getting a bit red down there.” She pointed and
grazed the area in the crease of my thigh with he
fingernail. “Have a shower and I’ll put some cream on
after... and then you’ll be as right as rain.”
I nodded and
turned on the unit whilst mum cleared up my mess and
grabbed something from one of the mirrored cabinets.
“Don’t be too
long love Grandpa has organised for us to go to the
races and we need to get going pretty soon.”
“OK,” I was
eager to get this over with as much as anyone else and a
trip to the races sounded a great day out because I knew
they had a fair on site as well... or at least there was
one last time we went.
Then it had been
a fantastic surprise trip out and I loved the jockeys in
their colourful silks and watching fantastic well-turned
out horses. My Grandparents were definitely from a
generation of horse lovers, although I wasn’t but didn’t
mind. It would be fun.
When I finished
I grabbed a towel and dried off as best as I could but
hanging around in the bathroom, even after a shower,
wasn’t the warmest place. I wrapped the towel around me
and made for the bedroom where mum was waiting with some
“It’s OK mum, I
can do it.” I enthused but eager to find my briefs.
“It’s no problem
love... but I want to make sure you’re completely
comfy.” She beckoned me over and I saw that there was a
towel spread out on the bed and a pile of cloth.
“Erm, what’s all
this?” I looked dubiously at it all.
“Just some stuff
that Granny’s found to help...” Mum was being
considerate but it wasn’t what I wanted. “Brian’s told
us that you keep suggesting ways to make Marty feel
better... and that you’ve really got into wearing a
nappy.” She shrugged as if she couldn’t understand why.
“So, we now have cotton nappies for you to wear... just
like he does.”
“But mum, that’s
not what I wa...” I tried to be reasonable even though
my insides were tied in knots but mum interrupted.
sweetheart, I think it’s incredible that you and Reece
spend so much time keeping Martin entertained, and you
can tell he appreciates it.” She was sympathetic but
there was still a hint of doubt as to why in her voice.
“Brian says he’s never seen his brother so happy and
that you are the one who keeps asking what more you can
This all sounded
like I was doing a good thing and meeting with mum’s
approval although I’m sure there was more to it than
that only she wasn’t saying. I watched as she folded the
material into a nappy shape and inserted a thick soaker
pad and began to feel less sure of myself.
“We all think
it’s a fascinating ‘thing’ you’ve undertaken...” It was
my turn to interrupt.
“Mum, can’t I
just wear my underpants please... please mum.” I was
almost in tears because I could see mum had other
thoughts in her head and my pleading wasn’t going
would be OK except for something I overheard Fiona
telling April.” At that moment my heart sank. I knew
immediately what it would be. “She said that you
admitted to her that you’d messed your pants, well,
nappy, and that Brian had to cover by changing it for
“But mum, that’s
not the way it was.” I could feel tears now actually
beginning to creep down my cheeks.
“But, is it
true?” I could hardly speak because I’m not one to lie
to mum but this was an awfully big thing to admit to. “I
take it from the tears and your reticence to answer that
She looked at me
“Well love, I
think for the time being at least, a nappy is probably
the safest thing for you to wear. So...”
I wriggled in
protest but mum was having none of it and slapped my
naked thigh. “Now stop that.”
I was cowed
because I couldn’t deny what she’d heard, nor could I
deny that she’d just changed me out of a soaked nappy.
So could put up very little in the way of argument, even
though I felt hopeless and defeated.
As mum pinned
the entire thing on I was in floods of tears. So much
was going through my head; blame, accusations, pleas for
help but mum was adamant that a thick nappy should be
tightly pinned in place and gran had found some
different plastic pants from somewhere. I had nowhere to
go and no ability to talk my way out of it so found a
large pair of crinkly shiny white protection being
pulled up over it all.
“Mum, this isn’t
fair I, I, I...”
“Did you mess
your nappy?” Again I was silent. I couldn’t deny it but
I certainly didn’t want to admit it. “So really Danny it
is fair... I’m sure you’ll be happier with the
decision. From now on until we go home... you’ll be
wearing a nappy. AND” she emphasised the word, “I
don’t want you sneaking to Brian when you need a
change... come to me to sort you out.”
She handed me
shorts and I reluctantly pulled them up. They had an
elasticated waist so it was a bit of a struggle but
eventually they were up and encased my new thick padding
everything down and said that the bulge was hardly
noticeable but itI felt huge. Even though I’d already
had a couple of days wearing disposables, this felt
oddly different. Also, before I could say I was wearing
because of being forced to by Brian. This was mum’s
doing because she thought I’d become a shitting little
toddler. Well, that’s what it felt like.
said anything when we finally got downstairs I was
convinced everyone was looking at me and knew what had
just taken place. I caught Brian and Fiona’s eye as they
were trying to get a boisterous Marty into their car but
didn’t see any smile of achievement or victory on their
faces so perhaps they didn’t know. Was this something
now just between mum and me?
took a phone call just before we set off and announced
his apologies but he had to return to work. There was a
bit of chat between mum and dad, grandpa and grandma,
which towards the end saw them looking and nodding in my
direction. I wasn’t party to the conversation, though
obviously somewhere I was involved but at that point I
just didn’t know what was going on.
The outcome was
both dad and mum would return home as dad had to fly off
to Saudi Arabia to finalise a deal. Mum was going to
stay but it was decided that she should accompany him as
there would be several social engagements and it would
be better to have his wife there. So, in that brief but
intense chat it was agreed between them, without any
consultation with me, that I would stay with my
my parents had packed up the car, minus me, and with a
kiss, cuddle and encouraging words not to give my
grandparents any grief, departed for their foreign
adventure. I was in tears because it had all happened so
fast and I just felt left out of it. Wearing a nappy,
crying and feeling desolate gran hugged me close and
patted my padded bottom.
love, you’ll be fine with us and they’ll be back before
you know it.” She tried to comfort me but seeing the car
disappear down the drive was just too much and I was
Then that thing,
that inexplicable thing, happened again when Marty saw
me in distress he came over and hugged me tightly. He
didn’t have to say a word but now all eyes were on us
but it was amazing. I looked down at Marty and his wide
brown eyes looked into mine and I could see the concern
on his young features. He, like gran, patted my shorts
and asked if I’d be OK? It was weird because I was
suddenly engulfed in a feeling of total reassurance
that we all get in the cars and set off to the races.
I’m sure she thought it would take my mind off things.
Marty wanted to come with me but grandpa’s Mercedes
didn’t have a child seat fitted so he had to go with his
parents. Still I was pleased he wanted to stay with me
rather than his sister or brother.
I got in the
car with my grandparents and throughout the journey they
asked if I’d be OK. It was difficult to be upset with
them because I’ve always enjoyed myself when staying at
Wood View. They tried to cheer me up so, by the time we
got to the race course, although the racing had yet to
start, the place was quite busy and I was feeling
infinitely better. All the kids had money and we aimed
for the fair after grandma established a meeting area
and made sure we had the right passes to get us back to
the private box that had been arranged for us all.
wouldn’t leave me, even when Brian suggested they go on
a ride together he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the
teacups he wanted to spin around in. The fair was bigger
than I remembered and the nice weather had brought out a
record crowd. Soon it got too hectic so we made our way
back to the box where a buffet had been arranged.
The day was
getting better after such a terrible start.
given all us kids race cards and told to select who we
thought might win. One selection per race and, at the
end of the day, the person who had most success would
win a ‘special’ prize. What that might possibly be was
kept secret by the adults, much to everyone’s
frustration. So, although we weren’t betting on the
races like the adults, we kids had a stake in picking
just what it might be from a bar of chocolate to our own
winning horse. I think at some point every possibility
had been mentioned. April and Fiona were especially keen
it should be a horse. Both convinced that they’d win.
his race card to me and, although he had no idea what
was really going on, choose his favourite colours in
each race and we put a tick beside them. Seven races,
seven ticks and I have to say, knowing we had a claim in
what won, we were shouting at the top of our voices for
our chosen horse. It was very exciting.
I saw Aunt Judy
check Marty’s nappy and whisk him away to the toilet but
not before collecting his nappy bag from gran. Once he’d
been changed and had returned looking a lot happier gran
called me over.
“Love, just a
question; are you OK or do you need a change?” She
whispered so no one else would hear but I felt my
stomach drop to the floor and a sudden stream of pee
began to fill the front of the damn thing.
nervously hoping she wouldn’t notice and could deny what
I’d done but she just smiled and told me to meet her
outside in the hallway in two minutes. I felt really
silly because I had all but forgotten the protection I
was wearing until she mentioned it and couldn’t explain
why I had such a reaction. Taken by surprise was my
“Well love, your
mother’s told me what’s happened and I’m here to make
sure you’re kept safe and dry as much as possible.” With
that she indicated the handicapped toilet and told me to
go in and she followed.
“Gran, I’m OK I
don’t need a nappy... it’s all a mistake... please
gran... please.” I pleaded.
“Danny, are you
wet or not?” She was being serious so I had to nod yes.
“OK then, we need to get you into something dry or that
rash might flair up.”
Oh my god she
knows about the nappy rash... can’t I have any secrets?
“Now love, I’ve
come prepared and have plenty here to make you
comfortable so why not get out of those shorts and take
your plastic pants off for me please.”
you’re wet and I need to get you into something drier
so... let’s not mess about.”
Gran always had
a way of dealing with me and inevitably by then she’d
already pulled everything down and was helping me step
out of the stretchy shorts and plastic pants around my
ankles. After a few moments of inspection this was
quickly followed by the unpinning of my soaked nappy. I
must have wet earlier and just wasn’t aware of it
because the soaker pad lived up to its name. Then
another surprise, there was more than just pee sitting
in the seat.
To say I was as
shocked as gran would be an understatement. I had no
idea I’d done such a thing. I mean, I knew I’d passed
wind a few times because the pants were quite tight and
I thought... well, whatever I thought, I thought wrong.
“Well Danny, I
wasn’t expecting this... this...” Gran looked as
surprised as me at the nasty content.
finish her sentence merely grabbed some toilet paper and
wiped my bum like she would a toddler. It took several
damp sheets of toilet paper to clean everything up and
by then I was just too mortified to complain.
fourteen and I’d been reduced by some means to being a
crappy and incontinent toddler. What happened and why
hadn’t I been aware of it was a dilemma? Try as a might,
I couldn’t blame Brian for it, this was all down to
me... but why?
Once I’d been
meticulously wiped down gran rummaged in the bag and
produced some large cotton squares. I dreaded looking at
them knowing full well that soon they were to be shaped
to fit me. I kept saying to myself I’m fourteen and
this can’t be happening but then of course, I’d just
filled a nappy and not for the first time.
I was past being
on the verge of tears and I could feel my eyes stinging
with the sheer humiliation of a lad my age having his
bottom wiped and cleaned up by his granny. I felt awful
but still tried to plead my case.
“Please gran. I,
I, ummm...” I couldn’t even launch a credible excuse.
just got on with the task in hand, brushed away any
protest with a tender and caring smile, whispered words
of encouragement and added a final flurry of baby
powder, which she carefully smoothed into my skin. So,
when she pinned me into an even thicker nappy and pulled
up a pair of blue vinyl pants I had accepted this was
not something I was going to avoid any time soon.
“OK Danny, I
think we’re done so put your pants back on and...”
please don’t tell anyone. I’m sorry, I’m so sorr...”
“Danny, I’m not
going to broadcast it love,” she smiled sympathetically.
“As long as we can keep you clean and dry... that’s all
that matters. So,” she said as if deciding on something,
“let’s get back and see how we’re doing with our horses
On our return to
the box I was so embarrassed I could barely look anyone
in the eye I just wanted to disappear. The bulk under my
shorts I imagined was so much thicker and felt like I
was carrying a huge pillow between my legs.
I didn’t know what all this would mean for the
rest of my stay at Wood View but at that moment I wanted
to hide away.
So, the last
race of the day saw Reece, Marty and me in the
children’s play area pushing each other on the swings,
see-saws, roundabout and whatever else we could get on
that other kids had abandoned to watch the race or had
gone home. We were pretending we were there to supervise
Marty but in fact were enjoying playing around as much
as he was. I suppose I had more in common with him than
just wearing a nappy.
I asked Reece if
he’d been changed but cockily admitted that he’d snuck
to the toilets and happily peed into a bowl and not his
rather crumpled disposable. Despite that sudden surge of
self-confidence it was his only triumph of the day
because he had no winners from his selection. He didn’t
ask if I’d wet but might have guessed seeing as how I
followed gran out into the hall and she was carrying the
nappy bag. Still, if everyone saw, no one actually said
anything even though the girls had smiles on their
faces. However, that had been the situation since we
arrived because both were going mad over the parade of
well-groomed horses. They professed love for most of
them and were convinced they’d be going home with at
least one when they won the competition.
We’d left our
race cards with Uncle Frank, Reece’s dad, and had no
real hope of winning the game as Brian had announce he’d
cunningly bet on all the favourites so was bound to win.
We all believed that to be true so took no interest in
Race 7 on the card, which saw Marty’s ‘Pink’ rider win
by two lengths.
After the race
we stayed in the box until the traffic had died down a
bit and because there was still food and drink to be
had. Grandpa and Uncle Ernest disappeared for a while
but when they returned had an announcement.
started, “it’s been a wonderful day and I hope you’ve
all had a good time.” Cheers and noises of agreement
came from all of us. “But,” and looked to us group of
kids, “there has been a competition today to find out
who is the best ‘tipster’ amongst you guys.”
apprehensive looks passed between us all. Everyone but
Reece had at least one winner and one or two seconds or
thirds, so no one really knew the final score.
our winner is... Marty... who with three winners, a
second and a third proved to be our most successful
tipster. So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it
gives me great pleasure in presenting our outstanding
winner...” and from behind his back produced a silver
cup with Marty’s name engraved on a little plaque at its
Winner of the Tipster Challenge
We all applauded
as a nervous, and had to be said confused, three
year-old stepped up to receive his award.
I wondered how
they had been able to get it all organised so quickly
but guess grandpa or Uncle Ernest had contacts who could
do such a thing at short notice, unless there was a
place on site that could do it. The race course was full
of shops and little cabins selling all manner of stuff
from horse tack, photos, gifts and paraphernalia to
sweets and drinks. There may well have been someone
selling engraved silverware for all I knew. Anyway, it
was fantastic that he’d won and I saw the look of
disappointment on the girl’s faces. They’d been
confident they’d be riding their own prize filly home.
Uncle Ernest produced a stuffed horse to commemorate the
day and it was wonderful to see Marty’s eyes widen in
surprise as he got to hug the fluffy toy. He couldn’t
believe it was his and spent the rest of the afternoon
playing and showing it off to everyone he could;
neighing and making galloping noises as he trotted it
along every available surface. At that moment I think he
may well have caught the same ‘horsey’ bug that grandma
and grandpa possessed.
Ice cream was
the last thing served to us all and I think it was what
Marty enjoyed the most. As the winner everyone made a
fuss of him and I was pleased that Brian hadn’t got his
own way and that his brilliant system of backing
favourites had failed. A three year-old picking colours
had thwarted his ambition so I knew there was a lesson
there... although in that instance I didn’t quite know
On the way home
I fell asleep in the back of the car and dreamed that
mum and dad were in some kind of danger and could do
nothing to help. It terrified me so that by the time we
arrived at the house my nappy was absolutely soaked but
I was desperate not to let granny know I’d wet yet
again. She’d be more convinced I was nothing more than
an incontinent fourteen year old baby.
The other cars
arrived shortly after us and everyone got out and made
for the house. Brian was holding Marty’s hand and I
wondered if he was going to change him. They ambled
upstairs and I followed to see that was exactly what
Brian was going to do. He’d set a precedent so now his
mum left him to get on with it. I think she was making
the most of her eldest son’s need for admiration.
Brian, as usual, was gentle and understanding with his
little brother - smoothly stripping the boy down,
cleaning him up and back into a nappy in moments. Once
again, the happy little fellow hugged his brother in
this was going to be embarrassing but for some reason
thought it was the best course of action, “do you think
you could change me as well... please?”
Marty as always
was all smiles and I saw a surprised look on Brian’s
face. “Well, I’m not sure. I mean, my sister’s changed
you, your mother’s changed you and I suspect earlier
this afternoon granny changed you... surely it’s April’s
turn isn’t it?”
red-faced that he’d just described my nappy changes so
After a moment’s
thought he agreed. “I will but first you need to tell me
why me and why now?”
I didn’t quite
understand his question. “Erm, because I’m wet.”
“I can gather
that but why not gran, she’s the one with all the right
stuff... since the disposables ran out I only have
Marty’s nappies at hand.”
“Oh.” I sounded,
and to be honest was, quite disappointed.
there and keep Marty entertained... and I suppose you
better strip down to your nappy. I’ll go and check as I
think she’s put a load of new stuff in one of the
Before he left
he pointed Marty so he was looking directly at me.
“See Marty, much
bigger boys have trouble not wetting their nappy but I
bet you get to use the potty quicker than your cousin
nappeee... Daneee...” He was having fun saying these
words together though I was anxious no one else would
With that barb
Brian left us two together whilst he went in search of
further supplies. For a three year old Marty really is
entertaining. We just chatted about the fab day out and
how clever he was at picking horses... even if he’d just
liked the colours of the jockey’s shirts. The cup was
laid out on his little bed but other than that he
appeared to have no interest in it. He’d put his horse
so its head was sticking out above his blanket so I
guessed that would be his sleep mate from now on.
By the time
Brian returned I was out of my shorts and standing in my
soaked nappy but still wore the blue plastic pants.
snazzy,” he grinned as he entered the room, “colourful
baby pants, how nice.”
He was enjoying
my discomfort but it was me who’d asked for this so I
don’t know why I wasn’t expecting some kind of
humiliation. I lay out on the bed, ‘my’ single bed,
which Marty had so recently been changed on.
Marty echoed and reached out to stroke the slinky vinyl.
He had a fine selection of ‘babee’ pants in various
colours and childish designs that we’d witnessed and for
a brief second wondered if that’s what Brian was
planning on putting me in.
“OK, get them
off and let’s see the damage,” was Brian’s contribution
to the conversation.
I slid down the
He took one look
at all the material.
certainly got you well-padded. I mean, it’s so much
easier with a disposable but... with all these pins...
After a brief
struggle, which included his finger getting a prick that
drew a spot of blood, he had it unpinned and let it flop
to the floor.
After a brief
inspection he got out the wet wipes and cleaned me up.
He seemed to know about nappy rash, or at least the
prospect of it, and smoothed in some cream before, like
he had with Marty, sprinkling powder all over my bottom
Even in this
awkward situation I still didn’t know why I thought
Brian would be the right person for the job. I know he
was the one who put me in the position in the first
place, and I resented it, but still sought him out, to
sort me out. Obviously I wasn’t thinking straight but at
the time it seemed the most obvious solution to my
problem without involving gran. Although, why I didn’t
want her to know I wasn’t sure. Perhaps I was feeling
guilty about the entire wetting and messing thing.
I think I might
have been worried that she might say something to mum,
which in turn would be more of an embarrassment as I’d
tried to explain (badly) to her when she’d changed me
that morning why I didn’t need any protection. I was
also feeling guilty that she might have been horrified
that I’d wet whilst in the back of their expensive
Mercedes. I was wet and confused and wanted out and
Brian, ‘Mr Understanding’, seemed my best option.
I hadn’t taken
much notice of what he’d brought with him I was just
relieved we could do this in private. However, the
material he had was thick and bulky, much more so than
what I had been wearing but he wasn’t to know that... I
the fabric into an hour-glass shape, stuck in an extra
soaker pad like gran had and tightly pinned me in. It
took a bit of a tussle on his part to get it to fit
right but in the end seemed happy with the result. He
had a pair of clear crinkly plastic pants with him but I
preferred the blue ones so quickly shimmied them up my
legs and over the heavy mass. It was the most ungainly
nappy I‘d had to wear and was unsure whether my shorts
or anything else for that matter would fasten over it
I was surprised
when Brian looked on, made a face, rifled in his
backpack and passed a pair of his own shorts. Under
normal circumstances they would have been fairly loose
on me but with the padding they fit pretty well. Brian
said they were perfect; Marty smiled and patted them,
whilst I thought they hid the problem as well as could
you’re done but you owe me one.”
I had to
agree... I did owe him one but didn’t expect exactly
what that meant.
Later, in the
conservatory there was just me and Reece talking and I
asked him if he’d been changed by his mum.
“No, I’m not
wearing a disposable again.” He said with some
“What do you
mean?” I didn’t understand.
“I decided I
wasn’t going to play his game. Brian could say what he
liked because everyone now knows and although he said it
was for Marty,” he looked at me with an air of
superiority I’d never seen on my twelve year old
cousin’s face before, “I told him and mum that I wasn’t
going to be involved anymore.”
“Oh, what did
your mum say?”
shrugged and said it was up to me. So, I went upstairs,
ripped the damn thing off I’d been wearing all day and
slid it under the covers of his bed. So, he can do what
he likes with it.”
“Are you in your
“Sure... but I
see you’re not.” Again there was that tone of
superiority that I’d not been subjected to before. He
pulled the top of his shorts down to reveal the
waistband of his blue briefs to prove it.
I felt stupid.
My younger cousin, who’d hardly said anything throughout
this experience, had stood up for himself and it’d
worked. So, why hadn’t I?
It was strange
from then on because I could feel the heavy material
wrapped around my crotch more than ever and see
the blue plastic pants occasionally popping above the
waistband. I suspected I’d got myself into a situation
and didn’t know how to get out of it. Could I simply say
I didn’t want to play anymore?
“Gran, can I
sleep in mum and dad’s room tonight?” I asked hopefully.
“I thought you
boys had some kind of pact to stay together.” She smiled
but looked a bit unsure.
“Yes, well, erm,
but, uuummm, I think it’s quite crowded and think I’d
sleep better on my own.” I hoped I’d made my case no
matter how clumsily.
“Well, I suppose
the offer should go to Brian initially as he’s the
oldest... and... Reece asked for it earlier. I’m not
sure, but I suppose, if he doesn’t want it then I can’t
see why one of you can’t have it. You’ll have to ask
Brian first though.”
I could see
requesting this arrangement wouldn’t go down well with
him, as he’d feel I was trying to get away from his
influence. He’d be correct but I really wanted gran to
say it had already been arranged. As it was I would have
to make the approach.
However, when I
got to Brian he and Reece were already chatting and
Reece was looking relieved. As I arrived it was clear
that something had been agreed and Reece was quick to
tell me he was having the room as he’d organised it with
Brian and now, carrying his little case he’d brought
clothes in, he was off to sort it with gran.
I was left
standing there dumbfounded. I mean, I’d been behind in
all this and Reece was, well, ahead. I shrugged as Brian
asked if I wanted anything.
“No, just wanted
to, you know, possibly have the room myself.” I said
hopefully. At the back of my mind I was telling myself
that as I was the next oldest, then it should have been
my automatic place to get the room... alas I’d been
“Oh, what a
shame, a few minutes earlier and you could have had it.
Anyway, it’s only for another night because we’re all
going home tomorrow. Well, except for you.” Brian was
looking at the used disposable Reece had left in his
bed. I had no idea what his attitude was towards such an
act but he seemed resigned that our cousin would play no
further part in his little game.
was excellent news. They were all going home in the
morning and thankfully I’d be left on my own... and that
would be fantastic. Besides, now I could see a pretty
clear end to this ‘nappy business’ I didn’t mind another
night sharing a room with my eldest and youngest
Marty found me
and asked if I’d play with him so for the rest of the
evening until bedtime that’s what I did. Reece had moved
his stuff into his new sleeping quarters and I envied
the large double bed he’d get to sleep in. However, I
would only have to suffer the inflatable and sleeping
bag for one more night.
At 8pm Marty,
curled up in the crook of his mother’s arm and watching
TV, was gently told it was time for bed. He said he
wasn’t tired and wanted to stay up but his eyes had been
drooping for quite some time so she took hold of his
hand and led him up to the bedroom.
Aunt Judy looked
over to Brian and said, “I’ll see to him tonight love he
might take a bit to settle.”
“OK,” her eldest
replied with a nod.
“Fiona, can you
warm some milk for him please and bring it up when it’s
sighed heavily but did as asked and ventured into the
kitchen where Aunty Pat and Uncle Frank were animatedly
discussing something. I didn’t know what.
gently tugged at my sleeve.
“You might as
well go up and get changed as well sweetheart,” she
gently whispered, “do you both at the same time.”
For a moment
April looked a little bemused but didn’t let that
distract from her watching what was on TV. I saw a grin
spread across her face but she said nothing.
I looked at gran
in astonishment and shiver ran down my spine. It could
have been embarrassment, guilt or something else but
what I do know was that a spurt of pee found its warming
way into the front of my padding. So now I did feel very
guilt-ridden and uncomfortable.
It was like
every time the fact that I was wearing a nappy was
observed or commented on, made me spontaneously pee into
it. Gran was still watching my reaction and smiled
knowingly, encouraging me to go and get it over with.
“You can come
down after if you like but go up now and then it’s
done.” She smiled as if she was suggesting the most
natural thing in the world.
I don’t know why
she just assumed I’d be wet, perhaps because Brian had
changed me when we got in from the races. Maybe she had
a sixth sense or, more than likely, just guessed it was
time seeing as I’d been wet a few times now.
Anyway, I didn’t
know whether to object and say I was OK or simply ignore
her but it was gran so reluctantly followed Aunt Judy up
to the room. I knew that if she checked she’d discover I
was already more than a little damp and that would just
confirm her suspicions that I needed a fresh nappy and
couldn’t be trusted with the truth. If that was to
occur, maybe from then on there would be further,
sporadic inspections of my nappy status. I didn’t want
that to become something else to worry about.
trundled upstairs thinking how I’m fourteen and this
just wasn’t right. However, the pee had soaked in quite
a bit and had a waddle that was more obvious as I
climbed the stairs. The wet fabric being more clingy
next to my skin than a wet disposable.
room aunty had already started on her son; the nappy bag
was open with all the stuff needed to make him comfy for
the night. One of the inflatables had been removed so we
all had a bit more space.
“Ah Danny, same
for you?” She smiled a welcoming smile, again, as if it
was the most normal thing to happen. “Can you go and get
your stuff please love? It’s in the cabinet in the
In fact, it
hadn’t clicked just how normal changing my nappy had
become. Everyone knew about it and no one but me seemed
to bat an eyelid at it happening.
something new, me getting my own nappies and powder and
everything. I wasn’t sure why but I thought this aspect
of getting a change was a very strange thing to do...
but with a wet nappy and gran’s and auntie’s
encouragement by now I was on autopilot.
This was going
to be the sixth different person to change my wet nappy
and I wondered when it would all end. Did the entire
family have to have a go before I’d be out of the damn
I toddled down
to the other end of the corridor, it always seems such a
distance from the bedroom, but was more aware than
normal about the thick, wet padding hanging under those
red shorts of Brian’s.
The cabinet door
was already open so I don’t know if it had just been
restocked or someone else had been having a look. I
couldn’t believe just how much gran had found as there
was quite a pile of thick fabric nappies and a couple of
pairs of creamy-coloured rubber pants. There was also a
bag of soaker pads and a couple of near empty packs of
teenage disposables... with patterns and indicator
stripes down them.
I grabbed the
disposables, pants and a couple of soaker pads and made
my way back. When I got there Fiona had arrived with the
bottle for Marty but he was proving a bit fussy and
didn’t want to take it. However, once he saw me he
calmed down and took the bottle but wouldn’t drink no
matter how much coaxing he got from his mother or
sister. I think he was waiting for me to come to bed.
standing hauling my own supplies Fiona smiled. “Do you
want me to change you Danny?” I just hoped she
didn’t say “Again.” That would have been too much; her
mother knowing her daughter had already padded me up.
“No love,” Aunty
admonished, “stop teasing... Danny’s doing a terrific
job, look how much he’s involved with his cousin.” She
indicated the smile on Marty’s face once he saw me begin
to get ready.
I’m sure Danny doesn’t want you hanging around so...”
she indicated the door and told her to “scoot”.
It was a pretend protest because she giggled as she
let’s get you sorted and into your... ah
disposables?” She observed as I unloaded them onto the
bed. “Yes, I can understand... Brian always preferred
disposables when he was your age... although granny
usually insists on fabric.”
What was I hearing? That Brian wore a nappy... at my
“Did Brian wet
the bed then aunty?” I barely whispered my incredulity.
sweetheart. That’s one of the reasons he’s so good with
his little brother... he understands what he’s going
I had to think
about this. So that was the reason gran had all this
stuff on hand because it used to be... my ‘big butch
cousin’s’ when he came to stay. However, this had
got me thinking more about Brian than my own situation.
I couldn’t quite get my head around why he was so
insistent that both Reece and I should wear protection
on that first day after we’d been put in it by Aunty
aunty had Marty ready she could pay more attention to me
but my attention was elsewhere. Whilst I contemplated
this latest news she just got on with pulling down my
pants and getting things underway.
that it was something the adults had already decided
should happen if we woke up soaked, and soaked we were.
Although we didn’t question it too closely at the time
(I suppose because we both thought him a bully and
capable of doing us harm) maybe we simply tried to
dismiss what was happening; adults being adults and
often keen that we should ‘do as we say - not do as
we do’ or some such irritating remark.
assertion that we should help poor little Marty cope
with his slow potty-training might have been an
after-thought. I didn’t see it as a problem as I wore
them myself until later... much later. I partly wondered
if slow potty training was some kind of trait.
If Brian also... no... this wasn’t right because
if he was my age and wet... that meant he was in
protection at fourteen... like I was now. Oh this
explained a lot... though wasn’t sure what.
engineered it because he had to wear a nappy at
my age that now his cousins should also do so just to
prove it wasn’t only him? Things were getting too
complicated... and yet?
If that was the
case, why then had I begun to wet so often? I mean, I
wasn’t wetting before the party and although Brian had
made me wear a disposable in the first place, he hadn’t
made me wet or crap in the thing, even though I blamed
him for my doing so.
I’d done both
things and not just once, my nappies were now wet
whenever someone suggested a change and suddenly I’d
realise that’s what was needed. I’d wet without knowing
I was doing so. I knew Brian liked the fact that my
nappies were always sodden and now I knew why. However,
it looked like I was happy to use them but I wasn’t
happy at all, umm, was I?
flinched from changing neither mine nor Reece’s soaked
nappies and was quite thorough but gentle when he had.
When I think about it I’m quite confused. Brian started
this thing off, actually, no, the fact we only had one
available toilet in the house and the place was packed
with so many people, that’s what started all this off.
Brian must have just seen an opportunity and run with it
to see where it might lead. The bag
of disposables left under his bed perhaps the key to the
way his mind worked?
Actually, now I
think about it, as far as I knew neither of the girls
were put in disposables, and nor was Brian so why was it
just me and Reece? Why had it been decided that the boys
getting to the loo would be a problem when it wasn’t for
anyone else? I needed answers but for the moment I
needed to get my thoughts in order to confront anyone.
Perhaps in the morning before everyone departs.
me... well... even as Aunty Judy was wiping me down and
commenting what a wet nappy she’d just removed, I was
going along with it. Possibly, the reason nappies
weren’t thought of as strange was because of Brian’s
past. Maybe, it was just accepted that boys of any age
might need some help... and in this case that help was
Then there I
was, fully enclosed and having a pair of cream coloured
rubber pants wriggled up my legs. The bulk was quite
thick but now he saw what I was wearing Marty began to
settle down with his stuffed horse on one side and his
teddy bear on the other. It was amazing just how much
notice the lad took of what was going on so maybe Brian
had been correct in what we were doing had some kind of
influence on the way the tot felt about himself. I don’t
know how that would work but I’m not a three year old
and don’t know how the brain works on a boy that age.
Anyway, once I
was finished aunty turned attention back to her son and
tried to encourage him to drink from his bottle. He
giggled a little and then held it out for me.
“Oh Danny, will
you be a sweetheart and pretend to drink... you know to
encourage him... otherwise I’ll be here all night?”
It was just an
off-hand plea but I thought it quite a strange request.
“Erm, er,” but
as usual I found the bottle in my hand and aunty
flattering me to drink.
Now it’s some
time since I last used a bottle. Come to think of it,
this was the first time I’d seen Marty use one since
he’d been here as well.
quickly in, “It just soothes him down. Some nice warm
milk filling his tummy and he’s settled for the night.”
“OK,” I tried to
drink from it but it wasn’t easy.
“Maybe if you
squeezed the teat with your tongue you could get a few
drops out rather than just suck.” Aunt Judy instructed.
I thought I was
only supposed to be pretending but perhaps she thought
her son wouldn’t be fooled by mere pretence.
Eventually I got
a few quick spurts out and realised you had to get a
rhythm going to make any headway with a bottle like
“Take a few good
gulps and then let’s see if he’ll take it.” Aunty
monitored my nursing abilities.
“Tastes OK,” I
ventured a nod towards Marty between gulps but lost the
rhythm and had to start again.
“Oh well in that
case sweetheart, I’ll get one for you.” Aunty teased.
After about five
minutes, and Marty watching my commitment, he reached
out and asked for it. I handed the bottle back and he
immediately settled down, soothing himself as he downed
the rest of the milk. I had to agree with my little pal,
and as it was something I’d not had for ages, warm milk
was a very comforting way to end the day. He also got to
hug his new stuffed horsey and teddy so no doubt twice,
no, three times as comforting.
His mum bid him
‘ni-night’ and asked if I was coming down with
her. As I was only wearing protection I looked around
for my jammies but didn’t know where they’d got to. The
shorts had been left somewhere, probably in the
bathroom, and I didn’t fancy that journey, so decided to
stay with Marty until he fell asleep.
angel,” was his mother’s description of my selflessness.
“I’ll get something for you...” She didn’t finish
exactly what she was getting or for what.
later she came back upstairs and saw that Marty was fast
asleep and had finished his bottle. I was standing at
the side of his little bed deep in thought wondering
what a three year-old dreamed about. I’d just about
forgotten that I only had on a t-shirt and a very thick
nappy and some glossy plastic pants. However, his mother
had come armed with another bottle and cheekily added
that I might as well have it as I’d liked the taste.
“Aunty, I’m not
drinking from a bottle.” I said annoyed that she thought
this was funny.
She took the
empty bottle from Marty and slipped a dummy magically
produced from her pocket between his lips, which he
immediately started sucking.
“Well, it’s up
to you of course but why let it go to waste?” There was
that fun giggle she used when she joined in with any of
her kids games. “Anyway, I’ll leave it with you so,
please yourself. Thanks for getting Martin off... it’s
much appreciated.” She patted my padded bum in thanks.
Once we were
left I toddled over to my sleeping bag and slipped
inside. I was still holding the bottle and the warmth in
my hand was quite nice, and I had liked the taste, so
found myself nursing and enjoying the flow. No wonder
Marty had enjoyed it so much. Before long I realised I
was sucking on air but my belly felt pleasantly full.
because I dropped off and didn’t wake up until morning
when there was a lot of movement going on around me.
my name was being called in a hushed whisper.
acknowledged as I pulled myself barely conscious up from
the sleeping bag. I noticed that Marty was awake and
Brian was looking stressed.
“Get up Danny I
need you to do something for me.” He sounded more than a
“What is it, for
heaven’s sake can’t you let me get up properly... what’s
the hurry?” I crawled out of the sleeping bag to see
Brian looking distinctly uncomfortable.
“I need you to
pull off your, erm, protection and get into my bed.”
What he meant was get into ‘my’ bed which he’d
wrong?” I was still waking up and more than a bit
confused by all the fuss.
“Just do it, mum
will be up soon to see to Marty.” He sounded more and
warning he pulled my rubber pants down and started
tugging at the tapes on my disposable... my very soaked
doing that for...?” I tried to protest but he just
pushed my hand away and continued dragging the soggy
“Just get it
off.” I could hear voices on the landing. It sounded
like Aunt Judy and Fiona were heading our way.
Before I knew it
I was naked from the waist down and he’d pushed me onto
“Get in, get
in.” He more or less shoved me under the sheets and
quickly covered me up as his mum and sister walked in.
It was then I
became aware that the sheet I was lying on was wet.
Someone had soaked the bed and I knew it wasn’t me
because my nappy... where had it gone? Then I saw
that Brian was furtively carrying it off somewhere.
Both aunt and cousin spoke simultaneously.
“Yes, errr, um,
morning.” I responded as I felt distinctly uncomfortable
lying in a wet bed; the clamminess of both the top and
bottom sheet becoming more apparent.
disappeared for the moment but I stayed in bed as his
mother got Marty up and checked his nappy.
“Oh good boy.”
She reassured her son as she tapped his rear and felt
the room empty-handed and shrugged as his mother
wondered what happened last night.
much, Danny here said he was feeling a little
uncomfortable with his protection so I swapped places.
It was quite an experience sleeping on a bouncy castle.”
He laughed at his own joke whilst jumping on the
inflatable mattress, which in turn had Marty chuckling
at his antics.
“Well that was
thoughtful but wonder why that was... you seemed OK last
night didn’t you?” His mum briefly looked my way before
she started to guide Marty towards the bathroom.
“C’mon you, time
to greet the day.” Fiona joked and pulled back the
covers to reveal not only a naked me but an obviously
wet bed. “Oh dear Danny, what have you done, again?”
Before I could
come up with any response Brian intervened. “Well, I
know you said the nappy was itchy and uncomfortable but
you shouldn’t have taken it off...” he said as if
understanding but telling me off at the same time. “You
know what you’re like... the bedding’s soaked.”
I just lay there
nervously trying to cover myself and wondering what the
hell had just happened. He was holding up a dry
discarded disposable and it was only later I realised it
was the one Reece must have left in his bed.
“You won’t be
granny’s favourite grandson this morning sweetheart,”
aunty aimed the comment at me. “but I suppose accidents
happen, especially when you’re...”
At that moment
Marty made a fart noise so his mother was distracted
from further comment as she manoeuvred him towards the
“Well, I suspect
its more nappies for you baby boy.” Fiona observed with
a smug tone to her voice and then saw the empty bottle
I’d drunk from last night and must have known it was
something her mother had planned as a joke. “It looks
like even milk is a bit too much for our sweet
babykins... oh well.”
She sniggered as
she went off to help her distracted mother and left me
with a very relieved looking Brian.
“Why did you do
that?” I was angry but also uncertain as what it would
mean. The thought of lying in someone else’s pee made me
you’re doing me a favour taking the blame for this. I
can’t let mum think I’m back wetting the bed. I can’t
have another accident. She can’t know about
At first his
attitude was that of a man in charge but then I saw he
was actually worried and pleading with me.
accident?” Was circling in my head but I said
nothing. However, a sudden image of this big team
captain running around the pitch with his shorts stuffed
by a thick nappy briefly entered my head and
distractedly made me smile.
“Look Danny, I
need you to own this.” He ran his hand over the cold wet
sheet. “Pretend it’s entirely your fault. That it was an
accident because you removed an irritating nappy and
returned to the room to pick up some clothes for Marty.
“I’ve sent Fiona
to inform gran what’s happened but I suggest you get up
and strip the bed for starters.”
“I’ll give him a
hand.” Brian volunteered and immediately proceeded to
pull the damp sheets together.
grabbed a few items for her young son and wandered back
to the bathroom.
“I need some
clothes too... and what have you done with the
nappy?” I whispered to Brian.
I had no idea
why I thought it important to know where that was but he
just motioned it was with all the other stuff waiting to
be thrown out. I wandered over to the drawers and was
just about to look for some pants when gran walked in.
don’t worry.” She came over and hugged me. “These things
happen but you should have kept your padding on.
It’s what it’s there for...”
“Erm, yes, ummm,
sorry gran but...” I felt numb from what was going on.
Brian was quick
to get in.
“He said it was
irritating him gran... so we swapped places... he must
have taken it off.” He brandished Reece’s disposable
again to add weight to his story.
As I was
standing bare-arsed and searching for undies granny
asked if Brian would take all the wet stuff downstairs
and into the washroom.
“I have a ton of
stuff to do today.” She beamed. “However young man,” she
was now looking at me, “I think we’d better find an
un-itchy nappy this time.”
She grabbed my
hand and walked me towards the bathroom.
“Gran no I’m OK,
I’ll just wear briefs as normal. I can...” I was trying
to explain but Brian was right behind us and didn’t want
to drop him in it. Although I suspect no one would
believe me anyway. He’d painted a very convincing
picture and it would look like I was searching for a
scapegoat. I sagged under the weight of my own
uncertainty. I just didn’t know what to do for the best
but obviously didn’t want to wear another nappy for the
Just as we got
to the bathroom a dressed and eager faced Marty rushed
out and hugged my naked leg.
Danneee....” I grimaced at his innocent comment. Granny
smiled in agreement with his assessment.
“Yes sweetie and
he’ll be just like his favourite cousin, eh?” He smiled
the most gorgeous smile in response.
Aunty was just
finishing clearing up as gran led me in and began to run
“OK poppet, have
a bit of a wash and then I’ll see to you, OK?”
As I climbed
under the warm spray I saw she was fiddling about in the
cabinet so knew I wasn’t going to get out of wearing
something bulky again.
everything as much as I could, desperate to delay the
final act of being wrapped in yet more padding. Gran was
still hovering and urged me to finish and then she could
carry on with getting me ready for the day.
I saw her
standing holding piles of supplies in one arm and a
large towel over the other, which she passed to me as I
stepped from the warmth into the relative coolness of
the room. I shivered.
let’s get you back to your room. I bet you’ll be glad
that after today you’ll have it all to yourself.” We
wandered down the corridor drying myself as we went. “I
think you’ve been a terrific influence on Martin, which
everyone has been grateful for... keeping him busy and
With her arm
around my shoulder she was just making small talk,
whilst gently guiding me along and into the bedroom.
She put the pile
of stuff down on the bed, took the towel and began to
briskly dry me down. Even that simple task was taken
away. Eventually she thought I was dry enough, laid the
towel out on the bed and indicated I should lie out.
“Gran can’t I
just have my underpants back... please?”
let’s just think shall we?” It was obviously a question
that I wasn’t expected to answer. “Is this bed wet?” She
looked into my eyes and although I wanted to say “Yes
but not by me” I stayed silent.
She flapped out
some material and began to fold it.
“Look darling, I
know it might be strange and I’m sure it feels peculiar
to wear a nappy but, despite all the claims to be
helping Martin... we know that something else is
happening to you.”
I was shocked.
How did she know I’d been coerced into wearing a nappy
by Brian and...
Fiona actually, has said that she changed your soaked
nappy whilst Martin was getting his changed by Brian.
You’re fourteen years old and yet you didn’t think it
inappropriate that your female cousin should be asked to
do such a thing?”
I wanted to
plead that it was Brian who made me. Oh god this wasn’t
going how I hoped and my arguments, even to me, seemed
“OK then,” Gran
was firm as she wriggled the fabric under my bum and
started rubbing lotion into the inflamed area. “I don’t
want any arguments love. We understand and we’ll keep
you as content as possible.”
“But gran I
don’t...” I was in tears because I couldn’t see a way
out of this predicament.
She just gently
shushed me... as if trying to pacify a little kid.
sweetheart... no one is angry or upset with you. We know
this type of thing can happen, it’s nothing new and
nothing we can’t handle. Dry your tears love everything
will be alright... we just have to be sure you’re kept
happy and dry.”
Just before she
pinned it all together she looked and just made a
questionable “Hmmm” noise. I wasn’t sure what
that meant but it appeared she’d come to some conclusion
or found another problem. Whatever it was was followed
by a reassuring smile to put me back at ease.
I lay there
trying to take the situation in and how easily I’d let
myself get put into this annoying position. Gran was
folding a huge swathe of material into what looked to be
the beginnings of a substantial nappy. Her quiet
soothing voice, so gentle and understanding, it’s
impossible to get angry or display anything but
gratitude. She smiled in such a compassionate way as she
rubbed talc slowly into my skin and before I was aware
I’d been pinned in and gran was wriggling a pair of blue
plastic pants up my legs.
ordered and I did and with a snap of elastic. “There,
all safe and secure love. Let’s go and have some
“I can’t go like
this.” It felt heavy and strange. In fact, this entire
visit to Wood View had been verging on the bizarre and
this was yet another thing.
“No of course
not poppet.” That was a term she used when I was little
and I was surprised she used it now. However, she went
to the chest of drawers and pulled out a jumper I hadn’t
seen before and a pair of loose denim shorts. “These
used to be Brian’s when he came to stay.” I looked over
and saw that it wasn’t just the bathroom cabinet that
had a host of stuff in it. The drawer was practically
full. “I bet they’ll fit you easily.”
Thanks to the
bulk of the nappy they did.
finished I hung back before following her just so I
could peak a little bit more into what else was in the
cupboard and drawers. I was amazed at the clothing she’d
managed to assemble. As I hadn’t brought much but a
change of jeans, a couple of shirts and a jumper it
appeared to be an entire wardrobe for my newly extended
stay. The extra underwear I’d brought had now become
redundant, although I looked on them in hope that pretty
soon I’d be able to return to wearing them.
I held things up
for inspection and noticed a few old item of mine but
most were new to me so suspected they must have been
Brian’s or maybe even Reece’s (or whoever else came to
visit) when they stayed over. However, the top drawer
contained more nappies and plastic pants and what I
eventually discovered were onesies. I had no idea if
these belonged to Brian but I guessed I’d soon find out,
especially if mum and dad were going to be away for any
length of time.
So there I was,
fully protected from, well, myself I suppose, sitting at
the kitchen table eating breakfast as everyone else was
busy loading up cars and saying their goodbyes.
Uncle Ernest was
hugging his father and telling him they needed to get an
early start otherwise they’d hit all the motorway
traffic. Brian was trying to fasten Marty into his
booster seat whilst, as usual, Fiona and April were in
deep chat about who knows what. The secret life of girls
was still beyond my comprehension.
Reece had been
staring at my padding, which was fairly substantial, and
shaking his head. I think he thought it was something I
liked so now disregarded me as a relation and just
somebody to be pitied. Aunty Pat was organising their
next visit with gran and Uncle Frank was loading up his
BMW with various bags and suitcases.
after a series of loud and prolonged farewells, Wood
View fell quiet. The last thing Brian whispered in my
ear was that he “owed me” and not forget the
favour I’d done him. That was a long way from being
called a ‘swotty little twat’ which had been his
usual final rebuke. He actually patted my bum whilst
adding, what appeared to be, his heartfelt thanks. In
fact, I think everyone patted my bum before they left
and wished me well and hoped mum and dad wouldn’t be
gone long. I hoped the same.
“Call me if you
need your nappy changed,” had been the final whispered
insult from Fiona. She giggled with glee now that she
had something to irritate me with when next we met. Both
Reece and April looked at me with complete disdain from
the rear seats as their car pulled away and I could see
she asked him a question to which he just shrugged and
shook his head. I did wonder if that was a question
After the place
drifted back to silence and gran had started on the wash
grandpa came over and sat down in front of me.
it’s been a very eventful few days hasn’t it?” I nodded
in agreement but was feeling depressed that even with
everyone gone I was still wearing a thick nappy which I
thought rustled with even the slightest movement. “Look,
I know gran has put you in more protection AND I'm sure
you’re not happy about it.”
For a second my
hopes were lifted as I thought grandpa understood and
would let me out of the situation.
“I’ll let you in
on a little secret son - nearly every male member
of this family has at some time or other gone through
having to wear protection... in their youth.”
“What?” I was
stunned by this news.
Ernest and Brian have both gone through it and... so did
I... although not sure about Reece... yet.”
not...” I wanted to say I didn’t go through anything. It
was just circumstances that made me...
“It’s a family
thing and we’re always prepared for it and your mother,
well, she saw this coming. She told us you’ve been
having ‘little accidents’ in your underwear for a week
or so now.”
Oh dear, that
was MY secret I didn’t know mum knew about that. She
never said anything and thought I’d been pretty clever
at burying the evidence in the normal wash.
“I think she was
hoping it wasn’t the case but...” Grandpa just shrugged
as if it had been inevitable. “Anyway Danny, the upshot
is that your gran is going to be in charge of your
changes but we’ll both be keeping an eye on you in
future.” He looked seriously at me. “It will happen, and
as we’ve seen over the past few days, it’s happened
quite a lot so don’t worry or fight it and we’ll be on
hand to keep you safe and sound. OK champ?”
This was the
longest chat I’d had with grandpa since I arrived and it
was certainly a conversation I would have been happy not
to have. It all seemed such nonsense but yet he gave the
impression of being deadly serious.
My mind was
spinning with this news. So that’s why we boys were put
into disposables because of the past... and mum thought,
what? I mean a few wet briefs didn’t mean anything, did
it? I was confused and trying to take it all in and make
some sense out of it.
“So young man I
don’t want you giving granny a hard time if she checks
occasionally and to be absolutely sure we keep
you safe, and lessen the chances of any accidental
dribbles, you’ll be wearing protection from now on until
your parents come back from overseas. OK?”
I sat there in
disbelief, feeling surprised, annoyed and wondering why
no one had warned me about this before? Grandpa looked
solemn but was he just saying this to make me
feel better about the bulky material I now had between
my legs? There again, gran had found a lot of stuff
quickly so maybe she’d had a lot of practice and that
huge amount of stuff went back years? Maybe even some of
these nappies (and perhaps the clothes that had suddenly
materialised) had been Uncle Ernest’s?
Despite this not
making a lick of sense I began to wonder just what the
last few days had been all about. I mean, the Golden
Anniversary seemed so long ago now, so all this nappy
business was quite bizarre and, even though I’d
experienced it, I couldn’t think of it as real. Had it
been some incredible pre-planned attempt to get me back
to wearing nappies just because I’d wet my undies a
couple of times? Surely not!
There was a lot
going through my head.
Had I got this
Was I now
building it up as some kind of conspiracy?
Had Brian and
everyone else for that matter, been in on some huge hoax
with me as the victim?
Had mum and dad
organised their trip to Saudi Arabia just so they didn’t
have to deal with any of this, this, this... whatever it
I could feel the
front of my padding begin to warm and for a brief second
I didn’t know why and then it suddenly dawned... I was
automatically peeing into the very thing I thought
I didn’t need.
I looked up at
grandpa. I was dumbfounded but had nothing to say so
“Good boy, I
knew you’d understand. Now, would you like to help me
wash the car?”
And that was it.
I toddled out and despite the full weight of a thick
fabric nappy and plastic pants hanging heavily inside my
shorts, carried on as if all was normal.
On the next
change granny put on a pair of latex gloves as she
gently rubbed in what I thought was anti-rash cream but
wasn’t. As I lay there naked and covered in this strange
smelling pinkish goo gran left it for a few minutes and
went to run the shower. When it was running warm (they’d
had a small problem with the boiler) she called for me
to come and step in. She controlled the spray and,
complete with a sponge, wiped the area down to get rid
of the cream and with it went the little bit of pubic
hair I had.
I only noticed
because gran was paying so much attention to the area. I
thought she was being thorough because of the chance of
a rash, which she was as she explained that now I was
hair-free there was less chance of me waking up all
‘itchy’. I suppose that was what her “Hmmm” had
been about when she examined me earlier.
“We don’t want
you suffering unnecessarily when we can avoid it do we?”
She said with that constantly reassuring smile. “Now we
can see if there’s a problem developing, eh?”
hadn’t had much hair there, I was quite proud that at
least I had some, as it marked my growing maturity. Now
smooth and hairless it was another knock to my
self-esteem. I bet that loss was down to Brian’s
description of why I’d taken the nappy off the night he
wet... because I was ‘itchy’. This was another
victory for him.
Granny had me
wear a nappy day and night the rest of the time I stayed
at Wood View and kept up constant surveillance on just
how messy things got. It was difficult to put up any
argument especially because I did wake up sodden each
night, because the house got cold she had me wear a
onesie which fastened between my legs with little press
studs. It pulled the thick padding up and stopped the
bloated contents from hanging down. In fact, gran had a
couple of these that were thin and made from cotton
(both white) and a couple of thicker ones. One was
purple, the other dark green, which I wore; they all
hugged tightly but felt oddly comforting to wear.
I have to admit,
after the sleeping bag and bouncy air mattress, having
my little bed back was wonderful. Despite knowing that
Brian had peed in it only recently, I slept pretty well
tightly bound this way but still awoke to a saturated
nappy... but a dry bed.
that I discovered and was totally unexpected, when I
went to bed that first night in an empty house Marty had
left his teddy bear on my pillow (or someone had) and I
was quite surprised how nice it was cuddling up with
him, I mean, it.
I had a few
dreams that were about Brian and in one he was wearing
as thick a nappy as I wore and was acting as if it was
the most normal thing in the world for a hunky sixteen
year old footballer to wear. Whilst I was shy about it
and desperate no one should notice he didn’t seem
bothered, which went against the image of his
panic-stricken face after he’d wet the bed. Still, it
was only a dream and I had plenty of those and most did
involve me and my protection. I was getting used to
it... in dreamland at least.
Gran said the
onesies had initially been bought for Brian but that
he’d never gotten round to wearing them as on the last
visits he hadn’t needed any help. I could have told her
about the wet bed but decided to keep quiet. Besides, my
grandparents, despite the insistence on full time
protection, are terrific company and kept me well
entertained and loved over the time I was with them. We
went off and did some exploring and had picnics if the
weather was nice or walks deep into the countryside.
Thanks to their constant attention the time passed quite
quickly. So, when my parents returned, after just over
two weeks, nothing much changed, except my padding,
because I continued to wet randomly.
mum nor dad offered any extra explanation they just know
I wet and to prevent embarrassing stained pants I wear
‘security’ - quite a lot actually. Gran made mum promise
to use fabric nappies and not go for the more convenient
disposables; she said we had to also think of the
environment as well as keeping me dry and happy. So when
we returned to the city, a pile of granny’s ‘stuff’
I’m not happy at
all but no one seems to fancy the idea of letting me
back into underpants any time soon. To be honest I can
agree it wouldn’t be for the best at the moment, though
every morning, as mum reaches into the drawer for a
replacement nappy, I look longingly at my unused briefs
wishing things were back to normal.
However, when we
first returned home I had some independence and was
allowed, after gran had shown me how, to change myself.
Nevertheless, I thought I’d be able to sneak back into
my regular underwear and no one would be any the
wiser. I slept with briefs under my boxers but woke up
with them not only soaked but also very messy. I had no
idea why I’d shit myself but as I was trying desperately
to hide what I’d done my recklessness was detected.
I was feeling
pretty low and guilty but still thought I was being
treated unfairly, even though I’d just filled my undies.
The tantrum I let rip was my final argument and was
suitably crushed as mum reeled off all the things that
had happened at Wood View... and before. I had no idea
that anyone knew the full extent of all that took place
but it appeared mum did.
She wagged her
finger as she dismissed those early attempts at hiding
my sodden underpants even before we left for Wood View.
She even knew about Fiona changing my nappy and that I’d
drunk warm milk from a baby’s bottle. Mum laid bare the
facts and try as I might I couldn’t deny any of them. I
was ashamed and had no more fight but mum wasn’t
grandmother said how wonderful and helpful you’d been
whilst staying with her and that you never complained
once.” Mum was angry but still trying to not let it
sound obvious. “She said that you were changed with
barely a word and accepted it was for the best... so we
are not going to put up with you acting like a
precocious brat now.”
I could see she
wasn’t going to put up with any further crap from me as
she inspected the mess I’d made to the bedding and
myself and pointed to the bathroom.
“Go and get
cleaned up. Don’t bother with your underwear I’ll sort
that and the bed... but don’t do anything else
without me being there... UNDERSTAND?”
I got the
message, she didn’t have to shout.
I stood in the
shower trying to put things in perspective but my head
was full of all that had happened and wasn’t
concentrating, or even aware, that I needed to wash
When I returned,
still dripping, mum just ran a piece of tissue around my
privates and wiped my bum. There was a messy streak and
she just harrumphed in disgust.
“God, even the
simplest task,” she sounded well and truly fed up with
my perceived lackadaisical attitude to my own
cleanliness. “You’re in nappies now and you’ll stay in
them until I say otherwise. There will be no more briefs
or boxers I’ll see to that.”
I was feeling
naked and vulnerable and scared she might spank me, even
though that was something she’d very rarely done whilst
growing up. I think those thoughts might be unfair on
mum but was a remnant of my worrying that at any moment
Brian might use his brute force to make me stay wearing
a nappy. Now he didn’t have to.
The truth was, I
didn’t know why what was happening, was happening and I
felt completely inhibited to do or say anything. Wet
pants would have been a horrendous thing to explain, as
it was, a wet nappy and plastic pants kept it private
However, mum had
been horrified that I’d gone against her rules in the
first place and tried to be devious by wearing
unsuitable underwear. So, making sure I was in no doubt
as to how things were going to be, declared that from
that point she or dad would supervise all future changes
and then, to force home her decision, removed my proper
A soaked morning
nappy has meant the continued use of thicker nappies and
an abundance of leak-proof plastic and rubber pants to
firm up the safeguard element of this protection. My
parents seem to accept that this is the status quo for
the time being and I’m often left in just nappy and
pants when indoors. Mum has said it makes it easier to
know when I need a change, although, I’m not convinced
she isn’t doing it to teach me a lesson for my earlier
In fact, and
this has surprised me, neither parent seems to be in a
rush to see me out of wearing all this stuff. I’d
assumed they’d both hate the idea of a lad my age
needing changing (I’m not sure if this was because of
encouragement from my grandparents, who for two weeks
saw it as no problem at all), but seem to accept this is
needed and, as it’s needed, it will stay until it isn’t
needed any longer. I suppose that makes sense but it’s
still a strange position for a fourteen year old to be
in... Isn’t it?
I’m sure mum
thinks she’s on some kind of crusade against wet pants
because the padding and waterproofs just keep coming. I
have more and more each day as my drawers and wardrobe
become home to neat stacks of fabric and plastic. My
room, despite all we’ve tried to do, still has an odour
of pee, powder and air-freshener.
Needless to say,
I’m back in reams of material until whatever
‘curse’ plagues this family has run its course.
Although, when that might be no one seems to know. Also,
I start a new term at school tomorrow, Year 10, and mum
says “to be on the safe side...” and bought some
very substantial, shiny and impenetrable vinyl pants,
which I overheard her saying to dad were ‘the most
robust she could find’.
I’m not looking
forward to my first day back in class.
#### The End ####
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