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						AN HOMAGE TO VINCENT VEGA
						SCENE 2:
						DATING IN THE DEAD ZONE
						Ian Grady's head was on a swivel, taking in the 
						vast expanse of the dance floor, and the bizarre 
						assemblage of customers and staff scattered around the 
						perimeter.
						Well, Toto, he mentally 
						shrugged,  I guess we're not in Kansas anymore 
						…
						In point of fact, he was in Wisconsin.
						Ian had never been in the navy, but he had 
						nevertheless visited many an exotic port of call.  
						Indeed, he was perversely proud of the fact that he had 
						once passed out, dead drunk, in the middle of a busy 
						road in Causeway Bay.  He was ten when he had 
						experienced his first and only crush on an actress, so 
						it was only natural that he had taken his R&R in Hong 
						Kong, wandering the streets in search of his beloved 
						Suzie Wong.  But he had searched in vain, finally 
						admitting that the rumor that Suzie had absconded to 
						Japan with Bill Holden, and that the two of them were 
						still there and living in sin … well, it had to be true.
						He had drowned his sorrows in a bar, and he had 
						only stopped drinking when he ran out of money.  
						Management, singularly unimpressed, had rather rudely 
						chucked him into the street, and there he had promptly 
						passed out.  
						It was a good memory.
						And now he was in THE DEAD ZONE; more to the 
						point, Sarah had arranged for them to be seated in a 
						lobotomized version of a classic 1950 Woody Wagon.  
						The roof was gone.  Save for the back seats, the 
						whole of the interior had been torn out.  Some 
						madman had installed a sliding table which, in the 
						manner of a baby's high chair, now had them neatly 
						locked in.
						Ian wanted to cry.
						“Look over there,” Sarah whispered into his ear 
						while busily waving at four young women sitting at a 
						boringly regular table on the other side of the dance 
						floor.  “They work in the psych unit up on the 
						seventh floor.  Left to right, that's Becky, Rita, 
						Candy and Marge.  We owe Rita; she's the one who 
						got me the locking mittens that you're wearing to bed at 
						night.”
						Ian winced.  But he had to admit that his 
						fingernails were getting longer.
						“You have got to be kidding me,” he grumbled.  
						“Do you seriously expect me to believe that your 
						hospital employs a nurse named Candy?”
						Sarah allowed her professional mask to slip into 
						place.  “Yes, and we also have two orderlies named 
						Amos and Andy.”  She looked at him sternly.  
						“Don't stereotype.”
						Ian loved it when Sarah went all Nurse Ratched on 
						him.  “Well,” he added in a transparent attempt to 
						change the subject, “they must feel right at home here.  
						I mean, it's like we've entered  The Twilight 
						Zone.  Rod Serling seated us, and so far both 
						Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin have swung by to take our 
						order and bring us our drinks.”
						“But I'm holding out for Suzie Wong,” he muttered, 
						apropos of nothing.
						Sarah looked at him curiously, and then casually 
						ran her fingers over his well padded crotch. 
						
						“We're across the river, Ian, in neutral 
						territory.  And the bars here are open an hour 
						later than in Minnesota.  The burgers are great, 
						the fries house cut, and the chocolate shakes to die 
						for.”
						Still running her fingers over the bulk of his 
						diapers and sensing the smoothness of the baby pants 
						beneath his slacks, Sarah opted to pout.  “I 
						thought that you'd like it here, but if you don't like 
						it, we'll finish our drinks and leave.  Just don't 
						take it out on them.”  She nodded at her friends 
						across the room.
						“Don't worry, I'll be good.,” he laughed.  
						“But at some point, we need to go over and say hi … you 
						know, the whole 'hi, this is my boyfriend' routine?  
						Nip the hospital rumor mill in the bud, so to speak.”
						Ian reached for his beer.  This was their 
						first real date, and he had a serious case of the 
						heebie-jeebies, but the alcohol helped.  More 
						alcohol would help even more, he decided.
						“Oh, we will, we will … I guarantee you.  
						Rita knows all about you, and I know that she's anxious 
						to meet you.”
						“You told her … everything?”
						“Yes … and stop worrying about it,” she added in 
						an exasperated tone.  “Ian, how many times do I 
						have to say it?  We're professionals.  You're 
						my neighbor who has graduated to the exalted rank of 
						boyfriend.  You were wounded, it's left you 
						incontinent, and you're in diapers.  For the five 
						of us, this is just another day at the office.  No 
						one here is going to question your manhood ...”
						Except me, she perversely 
						thought, and I'm going to keep my mouth shut until I 
						get a handle on why your flag's not even flying at half 
						mast when I'm changing you ...  
						“... so when we get together, please try and be 
						gracious and charming.  You can be, you know?  
						Oh, you have your off moments, but for the most part you 
						are far and away the sweetest person I've ever met.  
						The sweetest and the most honest.”
						But don't get me started on your fingers and 
						tongue!  God in Heaven!   You play my 
						A-spot like a concert pianist, and how can anyone get 
						their tongue to go where yours does on my G-spot?  
						Talk about premature ejaculation!  You get me so 
						wound up that all you have to do is breathe on my clit 
						and I start to come … and come … and come.  And 
						then you lick mommy clean, and it starts all over again 
						… they should give you the patent on foreplay!
						Sarah could squirt with the best of them. 
						
						Sarah was squirming in her seat, and Ian 
						definitely needed another beer.  His eyes wandered 
						about the room, seeking out Janis Joplin.  He hoped 
						that the food was as good as Sarah claimed.
						“And besides,” Sarah went on, not realizing that 
						Ian's attention had wandered.  “I think that Rita 
						and some of the others can help us with our little 
						Monday through Friday problem.  If I can put 
						together a group to help me take care of you, we can 
						take changing diapers out of your hands altogether.”
						Which will make masturbation a tad difficult 
						...
						Still squirming, Sarah gently but pointedly tapped 
						the spot where she reckoned little Ian Junior was 
						hibernating.  From her point of view, one of the 
						best things about the thick hospital diaper than Ian was 
						now wearing was that it doubled as an effective chastity 
						belt.  Little Ian Junior wasn't going anywhere, not 
						with the diaper as tightly pinned as a nurse with her 
						many years of experience could make it.
						For his part, Big Ian was still looking for Janis, 
						but he had changed his mind about the beer.  He was 
						going to make it a pitcher.  If he had realized 
						that Sarah was scheming to deny him the ability to 
						masturbate, he might have ordered a keg.
						.  .  .  .
						“Hi, Sarah,” Rita exclaimed, “it's good to see you 
						outside the office.  And you must be Ian.  I'm 
						Rita, by the way, and this is Candy.  We've all 
						heard a lot about you.”  The two nurses, one a bit 
						older and one a bit younger than his girlfriend, had 
						taken a strategic detour on their way back from the rest 
						room.  Rita's hand was outstretched.
						Ian took it, and to his credit, gave it a warm but 
						gentlemanly shake.  “It's a pleasure to meet you 
						both,” he said, “and I hope that we can get together 
						with you and your friends (he nodded vaguely in the 
						direction of Becky and Marge) at some point.  And 
						let me apologize for not getting up, but this table 
						appears to be an adult version of a baby's high chair.  
						We're locked in, I'm afraid  ...”
						Of course, by then with any luck I'll  
						have passed out …
						“... I'm okay … I mean, I think my diaper is still 
						up to the challenge ... but I'm worried about Sarah.  
						What if she has to go?”
						And that, my dear, is how you ambush the 
						ambushers …
						Ian looked fondly at his girlfriend who, for her 
						part, was looking somewhat less fondly at him.
						It was at this terribly awkward moment that Janis 
						Joplin finally arrived.
						.  .  .  .
						“Thank you, Ian,” Rita said with a quiet nod.  
						“Yes, we all know that you are incontinent, and we all 
						appreciate how awkward this can be for you.  It's 
						not easy to talk about, and it's very gracious of you to 
						get it out of the way like this.  And we'd love to 
						join you.  As for the table ...”
						Rita reached underneath, found the lever, and 
						rolled it back.  
						“We've been here before.”  Rita and Candy 
						excused themselves, and made the long walk back to their 
						own table.
						.  .  .  .
						Sarah slowly shook her head.  “I keep 
						misjudging you,” she confessed.  “And I apologize.  
						I thought that you performed that little stunt to 
						embarrass me, but you put Rita at ease.  Thank you.  
						She's a good friend, not just a colleague, and I want 
						the two of you to be comfortable with each other.”
						“She's a nice lady,” Ian agreed, “and your friend 
						Candy is hot.  Can I have her phone number?”
						“Stop it, you big goof!”  Sarah couldn't help 
						herself-- another round of giggles was just over the 
						horizon.  “You are incorrigible … and I do need the 
						bathroom.  Don't run off …”
						  
						Sarah rushed away, leaving Ian very much to his 
						own devices.  He wondered if he could persuade one 
						of the four amigas to change his now sodden 
						diaper.  But when he stood up and looked down, much 
						to his surprise his seat was still dry.  He 
						honestly didn't know whether to feel disappointed, or 
						relieved.
						It was at this precise moment that both Jim and 
						Janis returned, the one with their food and the other 
						with his pitcher.  The food looked good, the beer 
						even better.  He ran his hand over the cold glass, 
						catching a bit of the foam in his fingers.  He 
						looked furtively around, and with no one watching, began 
						delicately to lick his fingers clean.
						Ian was drunk, but regrettably, only a little.  
						He sincerely hoped that the pitcher would put him out of 
						his misery.
						And what the Hell is Ed Sullivan doing here?
						.  .  .  .
						Sarah was hard at work.  The cherry had 
						somehow slipped all the way to the bottom of her shake, 
						and she was using the mile-long spoon to nudge it to the 
						surface.  With an imaginary pat on the back for a 
						job well done, she eased the cherry into her mouth.  
						She bit down, swallowed, then delicately licked the 
						spoon with the very tip of her tongue.
						Little Ian Junior really appreciated her 
						well-practiced technique.  Big Ian was staring 
						fixedly at the spoon.
						They were both jealous.
						So easy, Sarah smirked, so 
						easy.  
						  
						“Here we are,” she lamented, “all but inseparable 
						for over a week now, and you keep slipping through my 
						fingers.  How can I be so wrong about you so 
						often?”
						“Huh?  Wrong about what?”  Ian looked up 
						from his burger, the ketchup smearing his chin.  
						Sarah used her napkin to wipe him clean, not even aware 
						of what she was doing.  Treating Ian like a young 
						toddler was rapidly becoming second nature to her.
						“I've been thinking about it … a lot.”  
						Having taken efficient care of the ants in her pants, 
						Sarah had come back from the bathroom in a pensive mood, 
						and she wanted to give voice to her thoughts, and to her 
						feelings.  “When you opened the door, I attacked 
						and you retreated.  A dominant and a submissive.  
						It seemed so self-evident.  And then, when I 
						pointed out that you needed a diaper change, you didn't 
						react.  No denial, no phony outrage, and you didn't 
						turn beet red with embarrassment.  And now … Rita.  
						You put her instantly at ease, and you did it so 
						smoothly.  So, what I've learned over the last week 
						is that you are really, really good at rolling with the 
						punches … but what does it mean?  Are you just 
						humoring me?  Toying with me for your own 
						amusement?  Or are you genuinely submissive?   
						I just don't get it.  I mean, you had to give me a 
						key to your apartment, because when I lock the mittens 
						on you at bedtime, there's no way for you even to open 
						the door to let me in come morning.  And when I 
						change your diaper, tuck you in and offer you what 
						amounts to an adult sized pacifier, all you do is open 
						your mouth wide, take it in, and start sucking.  
						Not a word of protest that every day I'm treating you 
						more and more like an infant.  Is this what you 
						want?  Are you just a big baby, and have I been 
						cast to play the role of your mommy?” 
						Ian nodded.  He did not like where this 
						conversation was headed, and he was still sober enough 
						to realize that he needed to head Sarah off at the 
						proverbial pass.
						“You're right, Sarah.”  Ian put down his 
						half-eaten burger.  “But only half-right.  
						When you came pounding on the door, common sense told me 
						that this was not the hill to die on.”
						He reached for Sarah's hand, cradled it, and began 
						to trace lazy circles on her palm.
						Sarah shivered with pleasure.  Ian's touch 
						was electric.
						“But I am submissive, deeply so, and I'm very 
						comfortable with the one-sided power dynamic in our 
						relationship.  I accept that, if this is all 
						heading somewhere, if we stay together, it will be 
						strictly on your terms.  I'm fine with that, and 
						I'm fine with being your 'wittle baby' as you so 
						elegantly phrased it.  I love having you change my 
						diapers, wipe my messy bottom … I love it all … the 
						attention, the pampering.  I've never experienced 
						anything like this before, and it's addictive. You keep 
						me safe and warm, and what can  I offer you in 
						return?  The divorce cleaned me out, and it will be 
						years before I can even think about being financially 
						comfortable.  Hell, I can't even pay for this 
						dinner!  All I can do, if you'll let me, give me 
						the chance, is try to make you happy.  And I want 
						that chance.  I want to be the man who makes love 
						to you, but I also want to be your wittle baby.  
						I don't care how many people think this is weird because 
						to me it feels like, for the very first time, my life is 
						in balance.  Ian wants to be the only man in your life, 
						but he also wants to set free his inner child because …”
						He paused, searching for words. 
						“... because the only way I will ever feel 
						absolute trust in another human being is to become a 
						baby, your baby … trusting you to look after my every 
						need.  And the bridge between the baby and the 
						adult is an obsession with your breasts.  Gee, what 
						a surprise!  Does it seem so terribly perverted 
						that I fantasize about you lactating, cradling me, 
						gently guiding my lips to latch on and drink your milk?  
						I want this relationship … badly … and for what it's 
						worth, I think that you want it too.  I just wish 
						that you could see what I see when I'm lying there, and 
						you're changing my diaper … the tenderness in your eyes, 
						the caring.  The bond between us is real, Sarah, 
						real and strong and growing.  And I don't want it 
						ever to end.”  
						“I'm glad, Ian, more than glad, because I do want 
						this, but I also insist upon being in complete charge of 
						this relationship.  I want you to obey me, and not 
						just because babies do what their mommies say, or they 
						get spanked.  I have to be in control because I 
						will never knowingly do anything that is not in your 
						best interest, which is something to which you have 
						clearly given very little thought.  If anything, 
						your behavior is so self-destructive that ...”
						Sarah broke off in mid-sentence, sensing that it 
						was far too early to take him down this path.  It 
						would take much more than a week to win his trust.
						“But I don't expect blind obedience,” she 
						finished.  “Stand up to me when you sincerely 
						believe that I'm wrong, but don't ever willfully defy 
						me.  Believe me, I will know the difference, and 
						you will not like the outcome.  Do we have a deal?”
						“We do,” he replied, wondering all the while if it 
						was the beer that was doing the talking, or the roughly 
						six inches of tightly pinned and extraordinarily 
						frustrated flesh that dangled between his legs, stubborn 
						flesh that so clearly had a will of its own.  
						Little Ian Junior desperately wanted to come out and 
						play, but the damn diaper was getting in the way.
						And in the background, the music was louder, and a 
						couple was dancing on stage.  Ian thought that it 
						sounded like Chuck Berry, but he wasn't quite sure.
						SCENE 3:
						LOVELY RITA (NOT THE METER MAID)
						“We didn't say goodbye,” Ian astutely observed.  
						They had crossed the bridge, forsaking the duchy of 
						cheese for the kingdom of potholes.  Minnesota, it 
						was well known, had only two seasons-- winter, and road 
						repair.
						It was winter, the potholes yawned, and the 
						paranoid side of his nature was actively wondering 
						whether Sarah was deliberately hitting each and every 
						one of them on what laughingly passed for an interstate 
						in this frozen land of 10,000 ice rinks.
						“More like 17,000.”  Ian was kind of, sort 
						of, thinking out loud.
						“What's that, baby?”  Sarah's eyes were glued 
						firmly to the road ahead.  She had only busted one 
						axle in the kingdom of potholes in ten years.  She 
						considered herself overdue, which was why she was 
						driving her beater.  The Mercedes, battery long 
						since disconnected, was sitting out the winter in a 
						converted barn in the far western suburbs.  Like 
						the Phoenix, it would rise from the ashes sometime in 
						April.
						And poor Ian's beater is down for the count, 
						buried in a snowbank right outside my living room 
						window.  And it's his only car.  Maybe I'll 
						get it up and running for him come Spring …
						Or maybe not …
						Sarah stole a quick glance at her boyfriend.  
						He was plastered but, she suspected, not nearly as much 
						as he wanted to be.  Still, he had passed the test.  
						Rita had given her a quick thumbs up, so they were good 
						to go.
						I like the idea of him not having wheels.  
						It makes him so much more dependent …
						THWACK!!!
						The right side of the car bounced hard, and more 
						pee squirted into Ian's now well and truly soaked 
						diaper.
						“Sarah,” he whined, “I need my diaper changed.”
						“I know, baby, I know.  But you'll just have 
						to hold on a little while longer.”  Sarah had to 
						bite her lip to  keep from laughing.  The six 
						of them had variously walked and staggered out together, 
						and Sarah and her friends had let Ian get just far 
						enough ahead so that they could survey the damage.  
						His pants were ruined, his baby pants having given up 
						the fight at some point in the evening.  But she 
						did hope to save his winter coat, and she wasn't at all 
						worried about the car seat.  She had taken the 
						necessary precautions.
						“I should have changed back there, at the … at the 
						…DANGER ZONE?”  His memories were getting a bit 
						fuzzy.
						“DEAD ZONE,” Sarah corrected.  “And we tried, 
						baby, remember?  But your changing pad is pretty 
						small, too small to lay you out inside a Wisconsin 
						toilet. 'Gross' doesn't even begin to cover it.”
						Wisconsin's bars all had toilets.  The law 
						was strict, and strictly enforced.  Most of them 
						were even inside.  But they were not for the faint 
						of heart.
						Sarah judged the evening so far to have gone very 
						well.  She and her friends had set him up, but it 
						was obvious that Ian didn't suspect a thing.  She 
						had said nothing as the beer kept coming, gambling that 
						the alcohol would get him to drop his guard.  And 
						it had.  His admission, his deep-seated desire to 
						be both her lover and her widdle baby, had been 
						heartfelt.  Ian, she now knew, was perfect for her, 
						because Sarah harbored no illusions about her own needs.  
						A single woman in her early thirties didn't have that 
						luxury.  She couldn't compete with a twenty year 
						old fresh out of some nursing program, which is where 
						the jerks went shopping when they came to the conclusion 
						that their wives had reached their sell by date.  
						And she most definitely did not like what she saw when 
						she looked ten years into the future.
						No.  Ian was perfect, or as close to perfect 
						as she was ever likely to get.  A dominant needed a 
						submissive, not a narcissist whose ego would forever get 
						in her way.  Sarah wanted obedience, not 
						competition, but the tricky part of it was that she also 
						wanted a man whom she could respect.  And Ian, she 
						had concluded, fit that bill as well.  No Robert 
						Redford, but decent looking … she was particularly taken 
						with the unruly mop that passed for the hair on his 
						head.  She was forever sweeping it out of his eyes.  
						Not simply bright but quick on his feet, and with a 
						wonderful sense of humor born of a genuinely jaded 
						outlook on life.  
						God, how he could make her laugh.  She had 
						asked him about the craziest thing that he had ever 
						done, and what she got for her trouble was Hong Kong, in 
						Technicolor and Panavision.  The search for Suzie 
						Wong … getting drunk and being thrown into the street … 
						passing out … waking up in his hotel room, thanks to a 
						kind but anonymous policeman who must have found the 
						room key in his pocket.  It was all so real, and 
						she had believed every word of it!  The next 
						morning, she had raced to get him to his office a bit 
						early, so that she could rush to the hospital, take over 
						the staff room, and regale her friends with the lurid 
						details of her new boyfriend's R&R visit to Hong Kong.  
						Her increasingly bright-eyed colleagues had roared with 
						laughter of their own, and in the manner of gossip mills 
						everywhere, the story had soon climbed from her own 
						third floor to Rita's seventh.  At lunch, more and 
						more of her friends drifted into the cafeteria from 
						every nook and cranny of this vast, cavernous building, 
						everyone wanting to know who the guy was, how they'd 
						met, and the big one, of course … where was this going?  
						Was he the One?
						And Sarah had held nothing back.  They had 
						met, she warned them, in the theater of the absurd, and 
						she gave a blow by blow description of the stereo from 
						Hell, and the puppy like eagerness with which her poor 
						neighbor had sought to placate her.  But confusion 
						took the place of gleeful laughter when she described 
						how she had taken him firmly by the hand and led him 
						upstairs for an overdue diaper change.    
						She could see it in their faces as she looked down the 
						long table, the same doubt that had overtaken her and 
						instantly led her to jump to the wrong conclusion.  
						And the laughter died when she described what the 
						military had left buried in his spine.  A lot of 
						army nurses had resigned their commissions at war's 
						ignominious end, and they had come home to hospitals 
						such as this, bringing with them embellished tales of 
						the goings on at places like China Beach.  They all 
						knew the drill-- a MASH unit stabilized, but the badly 
						wounded were taken out of theater to be reevaluated and 
						treated in Japan, Hawaii or stateside at a facility like 
						Walter Reed.  It spoke volumes that Ian had not 
						been scheduled for additional surgery.
						Unprompted, one of her friends asked if he had 
						talked about the war, about what he had experienced in 
						combat.  Sarah sadly shook her head no, and all 
						around the table other heads nodded in understanding.  
						So many of them had been there, and the wall had 
						frustrated them so many times.  Sarah described 
						Ian's apartment, the telling absence of family photos, 
						no hint of his service to his country, and the vivid and 
						deeply disturbing painting of the sea giving up its 
						dead.  More heads nodded, the implications stark.  
						Without words, Sarah was asking for help, making it 
						clear that Ian had, however unwittingly, become her 
						responsibility.  Her gaze had fallen on Rita, in 
						reality a charge nurse in the psych ward with an 
						advanced degree in clinical psychology.  And 
						equally unspoken, Rita had simply bobbed her head: she 
						was there, and she would help.  Sarah would not 
						have to do this by herself.
						And it was to Rita Stevenson's town home in a 
						decidedly upscale neighborhood that they were now 
						driving.
						.  .  .  .
						Ian opened his eyes and glanced out the window, 
						then frowned.  “This isn't the way home.  
						Where … where are we going?”
						“To Rita's.”  Sarah had thought long and hard 
						about this moment.  She had decided to jump on the 
						first opportunity that presented itself, and equally to 
						keep her response short and sweet.  Ian had to 
						learn that this wasn't a game, and that she meant it 
						when she said that she expected obedience, and did not 
						want it to come laced with backtalk.
						“But I don't want ...”
						“I don't care what you want,” cutting him off 
						before he could get another word out.  “This is a 
						tradition, and you are now a part of it.  We 
						celebrate the end of another brutal week, toast the 
						lives that we've saved, mourn the lives that we've lost, 
						and then we go to Rita's to kick back, relax and, if you 
						want, get more drunk.  Just about anything goes … 
						BUT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WHINE AND CARRY ON LIKE SOME 
						PETULANT TWO YEAR OLD, DO YOU HEAR ME?  YOU ARE NOT 
						GOING TO RUIN THIS EVENING FOR MY FRIENDS!”  
						Sarah's voice has jumped at least two octaves.
						“You are in big trouble, Ian,” she said more 
						calmly.  “Big trouble.  When we get home, you 
						are going straight over my lap for a long overdue 
						spanking.  Do you want to double down and have me 
						graduate from a hand spanking to the ping pong paddle 
						that's in a drawer … the paddle with your name on it?  
						We have an agreement, remember?  Heh … how could 
						you forget … IT'S NOT EVEN TWO HOURS OLD!  You do 
						not whine.  You do not talk back.  You obey 
						me, and you do so without question unless you have an 
						absolutely compelling reason to disobey.  Am I 
						getting through to you?”
						Ian sank deeper into the cushion, but there was 
						nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.  This is not, 
						he thought, how first dates were supposed to go.
						.  .  .  .
						Sarah pulled up to the curb, and the first thing 
						that Ian noticed was the sheer number of cars in the cul 
						de sac.  In fact, they had had to park so far away 
						that Ian wasn't even sure what house was party central.    
						The one thing he knew for certain was that he was about 
						to set out on yet another safari in a very, very wet 
						diaper.  The prospect inspired a passing but 
						nevertheless bizarre thought …
						If we're outside long enough, can a pissy 
						diaper freeze solid?
						Clumsily following Rita up the road through slush 
						that turned every outing into a muddy adventure, one 
						alcohol inspired bit of whimsy led straight to another …
						How do you remove a diaper that's frozen solid 
						to a guy's butt?  With a blowtorch?
						Ian really, really wanted to go home.
						“Are you going to be a good boy for mommy?”
						Sarah's tone reeked of condescension, which 
						momentarily neutralized the alcohol flowing so copiously 
						through his blood stream.  He was in big trouble … 
						he was wet … he was shivering … and he somehow knew that 
						he was about to become the center of attention for a 
						gaggle of nurses who already knew far too much of his 
						life story.
						What else could go wrong?
						.  .  .  .
						“Door's open,” Rita shouted.
						Ian followed Sarah inside, and looked around.  
						Cramped entryway, with stairs leading both up and down.  
						The classic split level entry design that he had already 
						surveyed at three dinner parties to which he had been 
						invited by different faculty wives.  Unattached 
						professors in their early thirties were a hot commodity.
						Shoes everywhere, and Sarah was in the process of 
						adding hers to the pile.  
						“Let me help you take yours off, baby,” she 
						whispered.  “We do not want to track slush onto 
						Rita's carpet.”
						Ian went to sit on the steps and get to it, but 
						Sarah held up her hand to stop him in his tracks.
						“Baby, the dam has long since burst.  Try not 
						to sit down until we get you changed, because you are 
						going to leave pee stains everywhere.”  One by one, 
						Ian lifted his feet so that Sarah could untie and remove 
						his shoes.  He felt exactly like the two year old 
						that he was rapidly becoming.
						“Now remember, baby, be polite, and be attentive.  
						And above all, be respectful.  Think of the women 
						here as your aunties, and never forget that paddles come 
						in twos, and that Rita has the second one with your name 
						on it somewhere in this house.”
						“What,” he squeaked.  “Are you seriously 
						telling me that you have given Rita permission to spank 
						me?”
						“Yes.”
						“And the others?”
						“Yes.  Ian, this has all been prearranged.  
						My friends are giving me the night off.  In a few 
						minutes, one of them will be changing your diaper, and 
						you are going to smile nicely and thank her for her 
						kindness.  And if you bitch and moan, you are going 
						right over her lap.  So, don't.  Just sit back 
						… lay back … and enjoy being the center of attention … 
						loving attention.   Think of it like a trip to 
						a very expensive spa, where the entire staff is devoted 
						to fulfilling your every need.  Only this visit is 
						cost-free.”
						“Yeah, sure, the only thing that I'm going to lose 
						is my self-respect.”
						“That is strictly up to you.  No one here is 
						going to belittle you; the worst that can happen is that 
						someone's maternal instinct runs a little wild, and you 
						end up being openly treated like a baby.  If that 
						happens, do you think that you are going to win anyone 
						over by going off the deep end?  Why not play 
						along?  If your ego is secure, a little 
						role-playing isn't going to rock the boat, and what you 
						will win at the end of the evening is friends for life, 
						a group of highly trained professional women who will 
						become your fiercest advocates, and who will bend heaven 
						and earth to help me keep you safe.”
						“Sarah, okay … all right … I'll play along, but I 
						did not, repeat did not, sign on for this.  All 
						right, I admit it, I didn't read the fine print in our 
						agreement.  In retrospect, I was far too casual 
						about this … it simply never occurred to me that you 
						would go this far.  You spanking me?  Yeah, I 
						guess that's reasonable … I'm good with that.  But 
						lovely Rita the meter maid?  No.  Candy?  
						Yeah, maybe Candy, but look me in the eye and tell me 
						that you are okay with Candy changing my diaper, never 
						mind spanking me.  The competition's right in your 
						face!  Are you blind?”  Ian was sobering up 
						fast, and he wasn't happy about it.
						“I will deal with Candy, Ian; she is not your 
						problem.  And if she wins the lottery, you will 
						treat her with the same respect that you would anybody 
						else.”
						“The lottery?”  
						“You haven't met Vickie and Reiko yet, but you 
						will in a few moments.  You're soaked, your pants 
						are a mess, so very, very shortly there is going to be a 
						drawing, and the winner gets the highly dubious honor of 
						changing you into a nice, dry diaper, plus the far more 
						banal task of trying to figure out how to salvage the 
						disaster zone that your overheated imagination somehow 
						regards as decent clothing.  If you want to worry 
						about anything, worry about the very real possibility 
						that you are going to spend the rest of the night 
						sitting around in nothing more than a diaper and your 
						baby pants.  Oh, but if you treat Rita nicely, she 
						may just be able to come up with a onesie in your size.  
						I gave her your measurements, and she raided the 
						hospital stores, so it is in your best interest to play 
						the suck-up.”
						Sarah had to all but frog march Ian up the stairs.
						.  .  .  .
						“In here,” Rita waved from the dining room.
						Drinks in hand, Becky, Marge and Candy were 
						comfortably sprawled on two large sofas in the living 
						room, a TV blaring in the background.  Sarah smiled 
						at the room in general as she soldiered on.  Ian 
						bowed slightly in Marge's direction, figuring that she 
						was the senior of the three.
						Two other nurses were seated at the dining room 
						table, one of them an Asian woman whom he reckoned to be 
						in her mid-twenties.  The other was clearly from 
						the same brood as the four amigas.  Both 
						rose from their seats, looking to their hostess to 
						introduce them.
						“Ian, I'd like you to meet the last two members of 
						our tight little circle.  This is Vickie 
						Robinson...”
						“Hi, Ian.”  She offered her hand, and Ian 
						clasped it in both of his own.  
						“It's a pleasure to meet you at last,” Ian 
						replied, his tone warm, insincere, but hopefully 
						convincing.
						Bar bait, he instantly 
						decided.  The cocktail lounges in the airport 
						hotels along the Strip were overflowing with 
						phony-baloney blondes, predators on the prowl for easy 
						prey.  A gainfully employed single man in his 
						thirties needed to tread warily.
						A needy nerd, Vickie decided,
						but with a very spankable ass!
						“And this is Reiko Matsumura,” Rita went on, 
						wrapping an arm around her diminutive colleague.
						“Konbanwa, Matsumura-san.  Genkidesuka?”
						“O kake-sa made genkidesu,” 
						surprise lighting up the young Japanese woman's delicate 
						features.  Anata mo,” she politely queried 
						in return.
						“Omutsu-gee,” Ian laughed 
						while offering her a polite bow.  His voice had 
						fallen a full octave at the end, drawing out the last 
						syllable, signaling his desire both to honor her and to 
						be playful.
						Reiko clapped her hands in delight.  “Ian, 
						you speak my native language beautifully, and your 
						accent is perfect!
						“Arigatou gozaimasu,” Ian 
						again formally replied, offering her a second small bow.
						“Reiko, what are the two of you on about?”  
						Rita hadn't understood a word.  
						“Oh, we were just exchanging greetings, and when I 
						asked Ian how he was doing, he said ...”
						Reiko burst out laughing.  “He said that he 
						needed his diaper changed!”
						Ian could hear laughter erupting all around him, 
						laughter and the warm clapping of hands, but when he 
						stole a quick glance at Sarah, he knew that she was 
						appraising his performance, knowing it all to be an act.
						Sarah nodded her head ever so slightly, 
						acknowledging the skillful way in which he had won over 
						the room so effortlessly.  People who could poke 
						fun at themselves found it easy to make friends.
						“Well, Ian, from the looks of your slacks, I'd say 
						that we need to get you out of your clothes, clean you 
						up, and get you into a nice, dry diaper and a fresh pair 
						of baby pants pronto.”  Rita had given him the 
						proverbial once-over, from head to toe.  “So, take 
						off your overcoat,and your jacket, and we'll get the 
						draw under way.”
						While Ian began to disrobe, Rita fetched a bowl in 
						which he could see several small pieces of crudely 
						folded paper.         
						 
						“Everyone here except Sarah has written her first 
						initial on a scrap of paper and dropped it into the 
						bowl,”  Rita explained, handing the bowl to Sarah.  
						“Ian, you will draw a name, and whomever you choose will 
						have the delightful task of changing your diaper, and 
						the solemn task of sitting in judgment on your clothing, 
						deciding with no right of appeal whether it shall be 
						dispatched to the washing machine, or to the trash bin.  
						Let the drawing begin!”  Rita and her two playmates 
						joined the others in the living room, leaving Sarah to 
						stand in the doorway, the bowl gripped tight.
						Ian took his place beside her, nodded vaguely to 
						the assembled throng, his fingers dancing among the 
						scraps of paper, and then he slowly, slowly drew one 
						from the bowl … opened it …
						“And the winner is … Ree-tah,” he loudly 
						proclaimed into the teeth of a chorus of boos and 
						groans.
						Ian frowned.  He was suspicious by nature, 
						and he really wondered.  Before Sarah could 
						retreat, he hastily reached back into the bowl and 
						pulled out a second scrap.  He opened it...
						“Rita,” he announced, nodding solemnly; “this 
						lottery has been rigged!!!!”
						“That's right,” Rita screamed.  “I go first, 
						but everyone will get a chance to diaper the baby!  
						We shall ply him with booze, rivers and rivers of booze, 
						and oceans of pee will crash on the shore!  The 
						only question remaining is who shall get to clean his 
						dirty bottom, for Sarah has assured me that, after 
						consuming a mountain of grease at dinner, it is only a 
						matter of time before the volcano erupts!!!”
						Cheers erupted all over the living room, and Ian 
						couldn't resist.  He pulled Rita roughly into his 
						arms, pressing his soggy diaper and ruined slacks hard 
						into her skirt, before breaking out in impromptu verse …
						“Lovely Rita meter maid
						May I inquire discreetly
						When are you free to take some tea with meeeee 
						...”
						More boos rocked the room, and then someone threw 
						a paperback novel in their direction.
						.  .  .  .
						“This is the guest bedroom,”  Rita noted.  
						She had led Ian swiftly down the hall.  She had a 
						hospital changing pad spread out on the bed, and an open 
						but still empty diaper pail at its foot.
						There was a ping pong paddle hanging on the wall 
						above the headboard.  Ian gulped, and hesitantly 
						pointed in its direction.  “Is that … uh … is that 
						what I think it is?”
						“I don't know, Ian; what do you think it is?”
						“Ah … uhm … well ...”  Ian didn't know it, 
						but he was shuffling his feet like a four year old who 
						had just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
						Rita thought he looked adorable.
						“Uhm, Sarah said that she was going to spank me 
						when we get home … a hand spanking, I guess because I've 
						been mouthy.  But she warned me that she would 
						paddle me if I did anything to ruin your evening.  
						And she … she said that you had a paddle too, and 
						wouldn't hesitate to use it on me.  Is that true?”
						“It is,” Rita replied simply.  “And you 
						should know that at least two of The Circle are looking 
						forward to spanking you.  They tell me that the 
						orgasm is unbelievably intense, and I believe them.”
						“Vickie.”  It was a statement of fact.
						“Yes,” Rita conceded, “but you will have to figure 
						out the second one for yourself.  On the whole, 
						though, it's probably better that you don't know.  
						Now, let's get you out of these nasty clothes.”  
						Rita removed his shirt and undershirt.  Both went 
						into the diaper pail.   Then she unbuckled and 
						unzipped his trousers.  Cautiously easing the 
						soaked material over his baby pants, she knelt and, 
						bidding him to use her shoulders for balance, got him to 
						raise his feet so that she could free his legs.  A 
						brief glance told her that the pants were a write-off, 
						but the socks also went into the pail.  She would 
						empty out his pockets later.
						Ian was now standing quietly before her, clad only 
						in a visibly leaky diaper and vinyl pants.  He 
						remained silent as she lowered the pants, noting with 
						satisfaction that Sarah had used the four pin method.  
						This was why Ian was experiencing so little diaper sag.  
						The diaper went straight into the pail, and she put her 
						hand on his chest.  A gentle push was enough to get 
						him to sit and, without bidding, to lie back on the 
						changing pad.  The vinyl pants came next, now 
						sliding easily down his legs.
						“Ian, I want you to work with me here.”
						He looked up at her, clearly not understanding 
						what she meant.
						Rita sighed, sat down at his side, and took his 
						hand in her own.  Her grip was gentle but firm.
						“Ian, what do you think this party is about?”
						“You're blowing off steam,” he said instantly.
						“Yes and no.  What do you think is the worst 
						thing that can happen to a doctor or nurse?”
						“Losing a patient.”  Too easy.
						“Not quite … it's losing a patient … doing 
						irreparable harm … because we make a mistake.  Fear 
						of it haunts us, Ian, all the good people who should be 
						in this profession-- and it's why the divorce rate is so 
						high, and the alcoholism.  A very real Sword of 
						Damocles forever hangs over our heads.”  
						She squeezed his hand more tightly, willing him to 
						understand.
						“When you told Sarah that the MASH team chose to 
						leave the bullet nudging your spinal cord, an alarm bell 
						went off in her head, and when she told us, that alarm 
						bill began ringing hospital wide.  We're a family, 
						Ian, and we look out for one another, help as best we 
						can in the bad moments.  And now you are a part of 
						our family.”  Rita was shaking her head, willing 
						him to understand.  “Do you think that anyone here 
						is so callous or … or, so wasted that she would spank 
						you capriciously?  Blindly?  Knowing that a 
						single misplaced stroke could put you in a wheelchair?  
						God, Ian, don't you get it?  When Sarah told us 
						that you would need to be disciplined, we paired off in 
						teams .. all of us … and we spanked each other!  We 
						took notes, isolated the safe swats from the dangerous, 
						and we sat down and talked it out as a group.  All 
						of us, even Vickie, is on board.  You will be 
						punished, and the punishment will hurt … it's not a 
						punishment if it doesn't … but you will never be in 
						danger … never!”
						Ian began to cry, silent tears dropping onto his 
						drunken cheeks.  Rita gently caught them on her 
						fingertips.
						“And that's why I need you to work with me now, 
						Ian … the simple act of changing your diaper has risk, 
						but if we work as a team, we can make the risk go away.  
						Now, I'm going to push on your knees, help you ease them 
						up so that you can hold them up for me.  Then, I'm 
						going to slide a fresh diaper under you, wipe you, 
						powder you, and then we will lower your legs and I'll 
						wipe and powder your genitals, pull your diaper up, and 
						pin it … four pins, two at the hips and two at the 
						thighs.  Then, I'm going to pull a fresh pair of 
						vinyl pants up your legs, but to get past your hips I 
						will need you to lift … straight up.  But under no 
						circumstances are you to turn, however slightly, to left 
						or right.  Do you understand me?”
						“Yes,” he whispered.  Ian took elaborate care 
						changing his own diapers, but he had made mistakes, and 
						every misstep had ended in a painful jolt along the 
						sciatic nerve.  He too had a Sword of Damocles 
						hanging over his head.  He never tried to hide from 
						the fact that the jolts terrified him.
						“Then, let's begin,” and Rita pressed on his legs 
						to start the process.
						When they were finished, Rita got a firm grip on 
						Ian's hands and eased him up, taking extreme care not to 
						twist his torso in the slightest.
						“We make a good team,” Ian offered.  And they 
						hugged.
						“Only because you're a good patient,” Rita smiled.  
						“But then, you've got a good teacher.”
						Rita once again sat on the bed beside him.  
						“We've got a lot of this figured out.  Sending 
						someone to your office at lunch time to change you is a 
						piece of cake, and likewise at three … that's our shift 
						change.  The one we haven't got a handle on is 
						mid-morning.  Right now, for that one, you'll be on 
						your own.”
						Ian nodded.
						“And now,” Rita continued, “I have a really big 
						favor to ask you.  But please, don't say yes if 
						this is too much for you.”
						He studied her, the curiosity written all over his 
						face.
						“Your first spanking … the one Sarah is giving 
						you?  I'd like you to receive it in the living room 
						later tonight, with everyone watching.”
						“Why” was all Ian could get out.
						“Because, as surreal as this must sound, we all 
						want to evaluate Sarah's performance.  In clinical 
						terms, we want to study how she responds to your cries.  
						Will she know when it's safe to proceed, or time to back 
						off?  The only way she'll know for sure is if you 
						are working with her … guiding her.  It sounds 
						insane, but she will be relying on you to manage your 
						spanking.  You have to work as a team, just as we 
						worked as a team a few minutes ago.  And you have 
						to be honest, not cheat even around the edges, because 
						the spanking cannot stop until you show genuine 
						contrition.  But more than anything else, you can't 
						play the macho man, guide her as an act of male pride to 
						do something that would cause lasting damage.  Ian, 
						she won't admit it, not even to herself, but she loves 
						you … and she's fallen so hard and so fast that it's 
						almost frightening.  And you can destroy her.  
						Don't.  Don't run away from your feelings, don't 
						hide … share everything that you feel, openly and 
						honestly.  Can you do this?”
						Not when I'm sober … no fucking way!
						In vino veritas?”  He was 
						offering Rita a deal, this for that.
						“In vino veritas,” she agreed.  
						They hugged a second time, two strangers who would never 
						be strangers again.
						Rita had left a onesie on the headboard.  She 
						would finish dressing him, and then they would rejoin 
						The Circle.
						SCENE 4:
						Ian spotted a gap on the couch between Becky and 
						Marge, and dropped into it with a resounding splat 
						as the air trapped inside his vinyl pants shrieked in 
						protest.  He wrapped his arms around the two 
						ladies, and then resumed his interrupted serenade.
						“Got the bill and Rita paid it
						Took her home and nearly made it
						Sitting on the sofa with a sister or two
						Oh lovely Rita meter maid
						Where would I be without youuuu”
						Ian stopped dead in his tracks when, with 
						impeccable timing, Rita walked in from the kitchen with 
						his next beer.  He reckoned that a few twelve packs 
						would go far to dull the pain heading squarely his way.  
						Of course, he'd be peeing like the python to whom he had 
						once fed endless bottles of beer on a lazy afternoon in 
						the far north of Thailand-- but wasn't every one of 
						these lovely meter maids supposed to change his 
						widdle diapee at least once?
						Without warning, Ian started to laugh, and once he 
						got started he simply couldn't stop.  He smacked 
						his thighs over and over again, everyone in the room 
						convinced that he had taken drunken leave of his senses.  
						But Ian was thinking about his beloved Pete, remembering 
						the full on panic when Ratana's baby had disappeared 
						next door, everyone running around yelling and 
						screaming, certain that the twenty-one foot long python 
						had graduated from eating rats to eating babies, the 
						panic only subsiding when Ratana's mother had returned 
						home from the market stalls with the baby safe in her 
						arms.  And the elephant?  THE ELEPHANT?  
						The poor beast had been tethered about twenty yards 
						downstream when Pete had let loose.  Ian had sat 
						there, his back pressed hard against the bale of hay, 
						totally wasted, empty bottles of Singha scattered round, 
						watching the swelling torrent of python piss wash over 
						the hard packed earth, reaching the corral, engulfing 
						poor Toby's hooves.  And, God bless him, the 
						elephant had never missed a beat, just kept on placidly 
						hoovering up the succulent grass that they had harvested 
						in the rice paddies overlooking the Mekong.
						Ian stopped in mid-laugh, his gaze riveted on his 
						crouch, the hot piss pouring out of him, his thick, 
						thirsty hospital diaper clearly holding its own.  
						He looked around for Rita, spotted her, favored her with 
						a wolfish grin while his right hand got to work, 
						experimentally poking the onesie here and poking the 
						onesie there … 
						Khor thot krap.  Hong naam yuu nai krap?
						Thinking about Pete had set Ian off, but he didn't 
						have a clue, and neither did Rita.  It was Reiko 
						who saved the day.
						“He's speaking Thai,” she laughed; “he wants to 
						know where the bathroom is.”  Ian's laughter was 
						infectious, and now she just couldn't stop.  “I 
						think … I think he needs another diaper change,” she 
						managed to blurt out, punching the couch over and over 
						again in a vain attempt to get herself under control.  
						Reiko liked Suntory, and she kept a goodly supply in one 
						of Rita's kitchen cabinets.  No one expected Rita 
						to foot the bill for the more than fifty parties that 
						she hosted annually; it was strictly BYOB, and they all 
						chipped in generously to reward the occasional male 
						stripper.
						“What?  But I just changed him,” Rita 
						protested with an absolutely straight face.
						And that set off the whole room.  
						“He's plastered,” someone observed.
						“Absolutely shit-faced is more like it!”
						“How the hell do you know Thai?  Aren't you 
						Japanese?”  This one was aimed at Reiko.
						“I flew down to Bangkok during Golden Week, for 
						the double eyelid surgery ...”
						“The what?”
						“Double eyelid surgery.  We Asian girls come 
						into the world with only one eyelid, which makes it hard 
						to compete with you gaijin for the hunks.  
						So, we save up our money and fly off to India or 
						Thailand to make good nature's mistake.  The first 
						thing you've got to learn in any foreign country is how 
						to get to the toilet!”
						“The truth dawns,” Becky shrieked.  “You've 
						got the hots for Ted Norris … what's your plan … how are 
						you going to seduce him?”
						“I have an announcement to make,” Ian slurred from 
						his throne, his arms still wrapped around two of the 
						amigas.  “Sarah says that she's going to spank 
						me when we get home … a real horsewhipping, it sounds 
						like.  She says that I've been behaving like a 
						brat, and that she's fed up with my behavior.  
						Well, guilty as charged … I am (burp) a brat … I love 
						being a brat, and I probably deserve what's coming to 
						me.”
						Ian belched-- a long, deep, infinitely satisfying 
						belch.  Leaning forward, elbows now on his knees, 
						his eyes roamed from one raptly attentive face to the 
						next.  “But first, I owe each and every one of you 
						an apology.  When I walked in the door, I thought 
						that Sarah had tricked me into becoming a cheap circus 
						act … free entertainment for a bunch of frustrated hens 
						who needed a fall guy to take the weekend punches that 
						you couldn't throw at your bosses.  And I was 
						wrong.”
						“It's okay, baby, not to worry!”  Vickie 
						hoisted her bottle, took a long pull, and then saluted 
						him.  “WE'LL TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR ASS!”
						“ME FIRST,” Candy screamed, beer spraying onto her 
						ultra tight halter top.  “You have to share, Sarah; 
						we all want a piece of his ass!  Even Marge!”
						“Yep,” Marge agreed.  She had been quietly 
						nursing a rather nice chardonnay.  “And I'm going 
						to take my piece, frame it, and hang it on the office 
						wall.”  She favored Ian with a warm smile.  
						Sitting next to her in his cute little onesie, flooding 
						his diaper …  Marge was beginning to feel very 
						maternal, in a kinky sort of way.  Before anyone 
						else could beat her to the punch, she stood up and 
						yanked Ian to his feet.
						“Come on, babykins, it's time for auntie Marge to 
						change your stinkie diaper!”  Chardonnay still in 
						hand, she dragged him off to the bedroom.
						.  .  .  .
						Marge and Ian returned to a room alive with 
						chatter, the gathering having moved on to a well 
						lubricated and very detailed dissection of the relative 
						hunkiness of this Resident and that.  It was 
						readily apparent that Ted Norris was the front runner, 
						but Jim Stone and Derek Eastman were charging hard on 
						the outside. 
						Ian was about to park his butt in his accustomed 
						spot when Marge blocked him with an outstretched arm.  
						She was looking down at the couch, which now sported a 
						prominent pee stain.
						“Isn't he a little under dressed,” Vickie queried 
						with a malicious grin.  
						Ian was wearing a bulging diaper and still another 
						fresh pair of baby pants, but the onesie had 
						disappeared.
						“His onesie was soaked through, and I couldn't 
						find a spare.  Will somebody please bring me a wet 
						washcloth?  We need to take care of this stain 
						before it sets … and we need to find the baby a vacant 
						seat.”
						“Oh, he can sit on my lap,” Becky said.  Ian 
						was standing right in front of her, so all she had to do 
						was reach out and grab his arm.  “I just love it 
						when babies crawl onto my lap, and start bouncing.  
						What about you, baby cakes?  Would you like to go 
						bouncy, bouncy in auntie Becky's lap?”  Becky was 
						seductively patting one of her thighs, and Ian couldn't 
						wait to take her up on the offer.  Fearing that 
						Sarah would cry halt any second now, he got down as fast 
						as he could, wriggled around a bit, and then laid his 
						head on aunt Becky's shoulder.
						Should I suck my thumb, or would that be a 
						bridge too far?  Decisions … decisions … decisions 
						… God, how I hate making decisions!
						But then aunt Becky wrapped her arms around him, 
						and gently started patting his back.  Ian knew 
						exactly how to take advantage of so tender a moment.
						There's got to be a burp in here somewhere!
						Burp.
						.  .  .  .
						In vino veritas …
						Ian had stalled and stalled, putting the moment 
						off as long as he could.  But he and Rita had 
						struck a deal, and Ian did not trade in broken promises.  
						It was time.
						      
						Ian sat upright, and looked around the room.  
						He was amazed to discover that he was no longer the 
						center of attention.  The Circle had a life of its 
						own.
						Ian made eye contact with Rita and tilted his 
						head, the gesture asking the unspoken question.  
						Rita simply nodded.  Taking a long, slow breath, 
						Ian cleared his throat loud enough to get everyone's 
						attention.
						“I … uh  … there's something that I need to 
						say.  When Rita was changing me, she set me 
						straight about a couple of things.  She … uh … she 
						reminded me of something that I've already learned the 
						hard way-- that for a guy like me, diaper changes are 
						risky business, especially the messy ones.   
						But what I didn't know until I met Sarah … until I came 
						here tonight … is that it doesn't have to be this way.  
						I don't have to do this alone; there are some really 
						wonderful people willing to help me, and by working as a 
						team we can make the risk go away.”
						 
						Ian reached up and wiped the tears that had begun 
						to run down his cheeks.  
						“And then she told me … she told me that all of 
						you paired off and spanked one another, took notes, and 
						conducted a kind of autopsy to decide what Sarah could 
						and could not do.  So, I'm sitting here, more 
						ashamed right now than I can remember being in a long, 
						long time.  I forgot that you are professionals, in 
						a profession that makes my job seem like a walk in the 
						park.  I made assumptions, and none of them were 
						warranted.  I'm sorry.”
						Ian turned to look at Sarah.    “I 
						don't make promises lightly, and I try as best I can to 
						honor my commitments.  Earlier tonight, I made one 
						to Rita.  She wants you to spank me here, Sarah, in 
						front of everyone.  Granted, I still can't quite 
						wrap my head around the notion that they want to grade 
						your technique, but there it is.  It sounds like a 
						good idea, but it's not my call.  I'm through 
						undermining you, not because I have some kinky desire to 
						be spanked or sent to the corner, but because any fool 
						can see that your judgment is better than mine … a lot 
						better.  So, it's up to you.”
						Sarah crossed the room, and knelt on the floor 
						before him.  She grasped his hands in hers, and 
						looked deep into his eyes.  “Thank you, Ian; I am 
						so very proud of you.”  She reached up and flicked 
						the hair out of his eyes.
						He needs a haircut.  Of all the things to 
						think about in this moment … but he needs a haircut.
						 “We'll give Rita her wish.”  Sarah leaned 
						forward, and kissed him gently on the cheek.
						“I'll need to do my time out first,” he said, 
						trying to lighten the moment, “because I need to down a 
						hell of a lot more beer before we do this.  And no, 
						it's not to dull the pain, although it will probably 
						help.  It's because of something else that Rita 
						hammered home … that I need to lower my defenses and let 
						you in, share my feelings with you.  I'm … I'm not 
						ready to do that … I don't know if I'll ever be ready to 
						do that!  There's so much about me that you don't 
						know, so many dark places inside me that I never visit.  
						I'm so afraid ...”
						“I know,” Sarah cut in, her voice soft and warm.  
						“When we first met, a curtain came down, and you have 
						never raised it.  It's always there, separating us.  
						And behind the curtain, there's a wall, and at times it 
						seems impossibly thick and so very high.  And I 
						can't tear it down, nor would I even if I had the power 
						to do so.  This is for you and you alone.  But 
						I will be here waiting on this side of the wall, and I 
						shall wait for however long it takes.  When I have 
						gained your trust, the wall will come down.  I 
						promise you, it will come down.  If we trust one 
						another, if we have faith in each other, it will come 
						down.”
						She kissed him again.
						.  .  .  .
						Hours later, with dawn creeping over the horizon 
						and hours of laughter and tomfoolery finally behind 
						them, Rita moved a high backed chair into the middle of 
						the room.  Sarah took her place, and Ian took his.  
						She eased his baby pants down to his ankles and unpinned 
						his diaper, allowing the rear to drop, trapping it 
						between his now fully exposed thighs.  Ian's ass 
						never failed to take her breath away.  It was so 
						small and so firm, no unwanted padding anywhere-- an ass 
						truly ripe for a spanking.  She ran her fingers 
						over it, a random dance, wondering if he ever suspected 
						what all the other nurses must have been thinking as 
						their hands oiled and powdered the taut muscle, in 
						offices and clinics and hospitals scattered across half 
						the globe. 
						He offered her his right hand, and she pinned it 
						down firmly to his back, directly above the place where 
						the tiny but deadly fragment of a bullet lay lodged, one 
						of three that had penetrated skin and bone, muscle and 
						sinew in a long forgotten battle that had raged along 
						the Laotian frontier, in the Annamite mountains north of 
						the DMZ-- a place where no American soldiers were 
						supposed to be, fighting a war that officially had never 
						taken place.  
						Rita had knelt on the floor before him, grasping 
						his left hand, comforting him, and the circle of silent 
						observers had taken form.
						.  .  .  .
						It went very much the way it was planned, and 
						Ian's reactions were largely as they had anticipated.  
						His punishment was severe, Sarah unrelenting, praying 
						the whole time that this would be his first and last 
						spanking, but knowing in her heart that the truth was 
						otherwise.  Her blows were measured and delivered 
						with great care, but she ceased only when his cries had 
						become incoherent and virtually without meaning.  
						This was the point, they had all agreed, when it had to 
						stop.
						Almost without meaning.
						What really stilled her hand were two simple, 
						blubbering admissions, welling up from that place deep 
						inside every human being where ultimate truth resides.
						“I love you, Sarah …”
						“I love you with all my heart.”
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